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the NOCD Community

I can’t stop fidgeting during my classes. any suggestions?

Hey guys what is your experience with Zoloft and weight gain?

...Any tips on boundary setting? I see hurting people and want to help them and next thing I know, I’m exhausted with no time left for myself.

Anyone else suffer with acne or trauma scars? I had perfect skin and then a few years ago a makeup counter used dirty brushes on my face and I got an impetigo staph infection all over my face and down my arm. After the open sores healed and the infection went away, I am left with a depressed white scar in my forehead where it started and a white raised one on my arm fold. Yes there is makeup but I’d like to feel good naturally again and white scars are usually permanent. I have dumped thousands into CO2 lasers, subsicion and peels, and currently waiting to heal after getting CO2 laser months ago to build up collagen in my scar. I don’t have confidence anymore like I used to. I don’t wanna have to go to the gym and beach with makeup on.

I guess this is kind of reassurance seeking, but I'm curious as to what is "normal" for non-contamination ocd people. Do you guys wash your hands after handling things in your house? After literally just stepping out of the shower, I just accidentally touched something I purchased today. Normally I would wash my hands, but my husband discouraged me from doing so because he knew it would start a spiral of still not feeling clean and wanting to wipe things down. So then I had to open my drawers, put on my pajamas, and get into bed/touch our clean bedding. I'm obviously veryyyy uncomfortable. Is this something that would even register as a red flag on anyone's radar? I know some people have taken to wiping groceries down during the pandemic, but that's not the concern in this case.

I took a psychopath checklist test and it said I had traits but am not a psychopath....still concerned about feeling empathy, guilt, remorse etc because of feeling so foggy and emtionally numb... I know it was a compulsion, I'm sorry..

let’s do something comforting! if you see this reply with a few things that make you feel a bit happy or safe

I was watching a dog movie and for some reason I felt uncomfortable?? Not super but it was an uneasy feeling like I thought the dogs were cute then “hey what if ur into dogs” BAM it hit me and then I had very little intrusive thoughts about it and BAM small groinal response and through the whole movie I still felt uneasy and I’m not freaking out so much about it?? But I am analyzing way to much

So I’m currently drinking accutane for my acne. And I’m literally worried that although it says having kids is safe after a month after using accutane; I’m worried that drinking accutane will affect my kids later. P.s accutane causes severe deformities in babies if accutane is consumed during the pregnancy or you become pregnant while drinking accutane. On top of the fact I have pocd and hocd I’m also really worried about having a child with a disorder.

im sorry but ali greymond is definitely a scam. yeah her videos might be helpful at times, but she’s not licensed at all and offers so much reassurance on her channel. and have u seen her prices??? two THOUSAND dollars a month for therapy??? she claims she’s helped soooo many people recover over the past ten years but not one person has ever come out and shared their experience with her. also the “world renowned ocd recovery coach” in her instagram bio is laughable. this is so harmful for ocd sufferers. she makes it seem like she’s the only one that can help you recover, trust me i’ve been there. she claims people that have gone through ocd themselves are the only people that can get u to recover. she’s a total scam y’all. i’ve never seen anyone brag about their “high recovery rates” like she does. i mean, 95% recovery rate??? that’s fucking whack.

I see a lot of videos and stories promoting cheating on your partner and doing taboo things and people finding out about bbc and go after that. The saying is “once you go black you’ll never go black”. Now I’m scared my future wife will cheat on me or think that someone else’s penis is bigger so she goes after that( finding out about bbc) or she’s seduced. All of these things are just constantly going over in my mind. Tips to overcome these thoughts ?

I’m afraid I’ve hurt my sister. Like sexually. I don’t recall me ever doing anything. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything. I literally have 0 evidence that that’s even possible. Like I could/would never. But I’m still afraid.

The years I spent denying that I was gay, the years I spent trying to convert myself to straight, or at the very least bisexual so it would be easier, the years I spent coming to terms with it and finally the final moments where I started embracing my lesbianism and felt the happiest I've ever been in my life after all the agony that I went through all feel like a joke to OCD now. I wish that there was a crystal ball that would show that I never liked a man and will never like a man. I know, that's reassurance. But I so long for that same feeling even though I know I cannot have it.

Hi everyone. My name is Dan, I suffer with very severe Pure O OCD. This year my OCD has been awful and then when lockdown happened things got progressively worse. I sometimes can spend up to 12 hours a day doing rituals. Yesterday, I had a terrible day. I was doing rituals for 10 hours, and becoming very distressed with the intrusive thoughts. I often bash my head to make them stop but yesterday I did it a little too hard. This has given me a slight wake up call however to be making better choices. I have tried exposure several times but I am going to try again. I'm taking the mind frame that rituals make the situation worse and keep feeding the thoughts. It's going to be incredibly hard, I know. And I'm sure I will fail at times, I'm very scared but I feel I have to do it in order to just be Dan again. If anyone has any support or tips, I would be very grateful. May you all have sunny days and starry nights ?

do you think ocd is something i should let my teachers know i have? my ocd gets in the way of my work sometimes especially during english class, reading is especially hard to do and doing a lot of writing really triggers my perfectionism. i just don’t know whether it’s something to tell my teachers or not. part of me thinks yes bc maybe it’ll help teachers understand that some things might be a little more tough for me and obviously i’m not looking for any like pity or excuses or anything just like letting them know that i might need some extra help sometimes or just for them to be a little patient with me or let me have a little break on my desk to maybe stop writing for a few minutes and just take a few deep breaths you know what i mean? what do you guys think?

I’m feeling super guilty about something that happened over a month ago. I was talking with this guy and I get very anxious when I talk to new people and I have what I call vocal diarrhea, and say things I shouldn’t. So anyway we were talking about stuff via video chat and he asked me about my ex best friend and what happened to make us not be friends anymore. I told him everything that led to the end of the friendship. And then he encouraged me to name drop her. And let me tell you the millisecond after her name left my lips I REGRETTED it. I feel like such a freaking horrible person, I had no right to name drop her. turns out his best friend is related to her, I don’t think he’d say anything, honestly, he did ghost me a couple weeks later because I told him I wasn’t ready to meet during the pandemic. It was at the height of my OCD and I know that’s not an excuse But I feel absolutely horrible, because she is a good person. She’s not evil (I never said she was) but I was so hurt and it felt good to tell a stranger what hurt me. I just wish I never said anything. I hope he forgot her name, because he said he didn’t know her. I just don’t want to be the reason someone thinks she’s a bad person. She has a good heart. But she did things that broke my trust irreconcilably. Please don’t think I’m a horrible person. We all make mistakes, I never want to be the reason to cause her pain. (Nothing I said was like inappropriate or anything of that nature. Just things that led to the downfall of our friendship.) Just how do I deal with this? I haven’t spoken to her in over a year. I’m not going to call her. But should I feel guilty over this still? Is it okay to let the guilt go?

Three months ago I tried to quit my career because of my OCD. I was under a huge amount of stress and it broke me. I work in healthcare and I began to get extreme anxiety and ocd about my job. I became terrified of making a mistake that could possibly harm a patient. I’m great at my job, but my OCD convinced me that I would make a mistake and someone would die because of me. It got so bad that I would redo things and check things 6 or 7 times and still feel like I did them wrong. There were many times that I called into work and had someone check something again for me. A few times, I even drove back to work to check something again. It was insane and debilitating. It became impossible to do my job. I tried to quit because I felt that I hit a point where I was actually causing patient harm by delaying care due to my obsessive checking. I basically had a mental breakdown in my supervisors office when I gave her my notice. Luckily She is amazing and talked me into taking a leave instead of quitting. My therapist had suggested it too, but I was in such a dark place that I felt like giving up completely. Luckily I listened and I took the leave. It ended up being three months. It was the worst three months of my life. For those three months, I adjusted medications with a psychiatrist and I went to therapy weekly. I have a horrible sensitivity to SSRIs. They make me manic. Every time I tried one before, I’d not sleep for three straight days, be physically unable eat, and be severely agitated until it wore off. So I started a medication to prevent that first, then started on a tiny dose of Zoloft. I increased the Zoloft weekly until I hit max dose. Even with the tiny increases, I still had 3 days of severe anxiety and agitation each time, but I knew if I just got through those days, eventually my body would get used to it and I’d feel better. It was hard. So hard. But I was desperate for anything to make me feel better. I was so severely depressed because I felt like my life was falling apart and that I was throwing away a career that I worked so hard for. I also had a lot of other really hard things going on in my life too. There were a lot of days where I wanted to give up. Some days I’d be just so damn tired of fighting. It felt like I’d never feel okay again. I had days where I was definitely suicidal. But I pushed through it. I went to therapy. I did everything I was told. Finally after three months and LOTS of medication adjustments (including a last minute addition of Abilify which I swear changed my life) and therapy, I feel okay. Good even. I’m even back at my job. I still occasionally have OCD thoughts and anxiety over making mistakes but it’s definitely more manageable now. I’m happy and smiling again (I swear I didn’t smile for like 7 months). Life is better. It can get better. You just have to keep fighting. I know it’s hard. Believe me. But i promise it’s possible.

hi so I’m getting a job and I’ve never had a job and I want to be soooo excited but I’m worried I’m going to jail for something I did a year ago and I can’t be happy for anything because I’m obsessing over it. I think I blackmailed and posted pics of someone on the internet without consent. I was involved in findom where men like to be humiliated and blackmailed but I’m worried I went too far and actually blackmailed/post embarrassing things of someone who didn’t want it and I will be reported. This was 4 months ago I haven’t done it since.

Hello everyone. Is it OK to ask for some love? I know it's super weird but I need a bit of motivation right now. I'm going through heartaches again and I feel so bad. Today/tomorrow is a semi important day to me and I'm suffering from the break up. I'm so sorry. I know this is the wrong place to do this but I feel so lonely right now. I havent forgotten to take my meds but they aren't taking away this mess inside my brain. I feel so selfish... I'm so afraid that this heart break is just not wanting to be alone instead of missing the person itself. But I'm almost sure it isn't.... I don't mind being alone... It's selfish, when I know she deserves someone so much better than me. I'm so sorry. I just want to talk with someone. To feel less alone... This loneliness I feel comes from abandonement. No matter how much I understand her reasons to break up, I still feel abandoned. It's feelings vs logic all the time. I keep telling myself she deserves better. Someone kinder and smarter and beautiful. Something I don't feel like I am. I'm so sorry for asking for this. I don't want reassurence. I don't want compliments. I just want a comment for me to feel less lonely. I will never be able to love and trust again... For many reasons. And no one will love me either. I'm too awful for that. I'm ugly and gross. And because of my former gf, I lost trust on people. How can I believe in someone that tells me they will never give up? She said it and left me. Am I so worthless? Maybe I am. The only thing that keeps me sane is telling myself she deserves better.

I keep getting strong urges whenever I think of something bad happening ( example: my ocd getting intense again ) like I want it to happen but I don’t, I don’t really know how to use erp for it either since it’s a mental thing :-(