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When I first spiraled I didn't know if I had OCD it wasnt till I was panic googling for answers that I saw about POCD. Now I'm worried that I'm lying to everyone and just in denial.

Hey. I’m new here and I’m worried bc I just remembered (I’m female btw) when I was in junior year of high school. I saw this girl and thought that she was pretty but I don’t remember clearly if I had feelings or not but I remember feeling weird or something. I’m scared that means I’m bi. Please help. I don’t want to be bi or with a female. I always imagined being with a man but ever since these thoughts came up. It’s starting to feel like I wouldn’t mind. In the beginning I was so disgusted with the thought and felt weird even thinking about it. I don’t want to date a women or anything with them and I can’t tell if this is still false attraction.

I really don’t think i have rocd anymore but i need to talk to someone who can help me :(

Hello, this problem of the toc is affecting a lot and it despairs a lot that even makes me want to pull my hair I would like this anxiety to end but maybe my actions will end it is a mind that catches you as if it were someone who talks to you and that disturbs you but not It is someone, you are yourself, you had this disease since I was 10 years old and now I am 18, first it started with the footsteps if there was a line on the ground I did not have to step if I stepped I had the mind that something bad could happen to me so I went back and advanced on the floor line so that nothing happens so it was until later it started as a custom then I started singing and then I did it three times so that nothing happens so it was increasing to 7 and what was the fear because I do not remember very well but it was what I lost my parents or being gay or being beheaded or having my 5 year old cousin raped or my relatives being murdered that was how my mind disturbed me but it was easy to ignore it but after passing time it was not so easy it started me To start at age 11 was where I started to wash but I don't know when was the first time I started to wash a lot I think I did it when I was 7 and 8 every time I touched something I washed three times but at age 11 I washed hands was 3 minutes I think and the lines of the footprints followed the thoughts were worse that I could kill my cat and I be gay and that a serial killer kills a relative or that I get cancer or that they run over or that a tarantula this in my bed or on the wall, floor or ceiling like this and the song continued but it decreased a little it was because if not twice my family would be killed by a murderer and I no longer paid attention to him and the worst comes, something that is worse than to dominate is a tingling that I don't know what disease the tingling is that I have had since 6 years old I started at school I scratched myself and that tingling came out I masturbated at 6 years old and I pornography at 11 years old for that tingling of the penis I have no pain I urinate well and I don't have any injuries, I just feel that tingling and n the glans of the penis I feel it more a tickle I feel it only takes off masturbating but it lasts 20 minutes later it comes back and I have to feel three tingles or tickles to calm me down and if that tickle comes with my mind saying you are gay and with the tickling then I will be gay and I have to make another tickle and saying in my mind I am not gay both at the same time tickling and in my mind I am not gay and before I said it with my mouth but that was at the beginning of 11 years at the end I did not do it I was ashamed I did with my mind so far it continues with the tickling at 18 and at 12 it was the same only that the tingling and hand washing at thirteen it was the same at 14 it was disgusting to speak mouth to mouth And then at 15 I don't make eye contact and it sucked to talk word of mouth with people and handwashed it was 2 minutes and And that bothered at 16 the eye contact really bothered at first at 14 I was ashamed to make contact but then it was customary and I don't know why the truth and the tingling made my mind say something bad and tingling too and I had to say something good along with the tingling to calm me down and that's how it happens and at 17 talking word to mouth it no longer disgusted me but if I was disgusted that a dog kisses me and eye contact kept not doing much truth but sometimes when I want demosya Demonstrate that if I make eye contact if I do If I do and at 18 it's something I don't make eye contact but also not extremely if I do little and talk word of mouth if you give me. A little disgust, but I don't wash when I speak mouth. On the palate only a few times and the tingling of the penis is the one that disturbs me the most is like an orgasm but the son of the orgasm mini-orgasm in the penis every time he squeezed it slowly or I move it with my abdomen and the thoughts I had the last few years was that God will punish me for my mind saying I am God but I am a A normal person like all that tells me this, well I'll say what I thought I'm a person who loves God like all that what I think every time my mind says I'm God but I'm not and that your mom will die like your friend's mom and that disturbs me and that they'll up and that I'll rape or get run over or you stay alone in the world those things and also sex me disturb that my uncle will have sex with me or that. The girl I like will be raped by that which disturbs po Tingling

Hello, this problem of the toc is affecting a lot and it despairs a lot that even makes me want to pull my hair I would like this anxiety to end but maybe my actions will end it is a mind that catches you as if it were someone who talks to you and that disturbs you but not It is someone, you are yourself, you had this disease since I was 10 years old and now I am 18, first it started with the footsteps if there was a line on the ground I did not have to step if I stepped I had the mind that something bad could happen to me so I went back and advanced on the floor line so that nothing happens so it was until later it started as a custom then I started singing and then I did it three times so that nothing happens so it was increasing to 7 and what was the fear because I do not remember very well but it was what I lost my parents or being gay or being beheaded or having my 5 year old cousin raped or my relatives being murdered that was how my mind disturbed me but it was easy to ignore it but after passing time it was not so easy it started me To start at age 11 was where I started to wash but I don't know when was the first time I started to wash a lot I think I did it when I was 7 and 8 every time I touched something I washed three times but at age 11 I washed hands was 3 minutes I think and the lines of the footprints followed the thoughts were worse that I could kill my cat and I be gay and that a serial killer kills a relative or that I get cancer or that they run over or that a tarantula this in my bed or on the wall, floor or ceiling like this and the song continued but it decreased a little it was because if not twice my family would be killed by a murderer and I no longer paid attention to him and the worst comes, something that is worse than to dominate is a tingling that I don't know what disease the tingling is that I have had since 6 years old I started at school I scratched myself and that tingling came out I masturbated at 6 years old and I pornography at 11 years old for that tingling of the penis I have no pain I urinate well and I don't have any injuries, I just feel that tingling and n the glans of the penis I feel it more a tickle I feel it only takes off masturbating but it lasts 20 minutes later it comes back and I have to feel three tingles or tickles to calm me down and if that tickle comes with my mind saying you are gay and with the tickling then I will be gay and I have to make another tickle and saying in my mind I am not gay both at the same time tickling and in my mind I am not gay and before I said it with my mouth but that was at the beginning of 11 years at the end I did not do it I was ashamed I did with my mind so far it continues with the tickling at 18 and at 12 it was the same only that the tingling and hand washing at thirteen it was the same at 14 it was disgusting to speak mouth to mouth

Can shame from ocd cause you to self harm? I’ve never really heard anyone talk about this.

One time my college professor who has a masters I believe in psychology said "if you are sitting in this classroom, you do not have OCD" which makes me anxious that I don't because I was in there experiencing symptoms of OCD.

(Don’t read if you’re stressed out or upset, controversial opinion below) I have serious anxiety about saying something that will make others upset or angry. As an unhealthy coping mechanism for this anxiety, I obsessively google for controversial opinions I agree with, often for many hours on end. As part of NOCD therapy, I am supposed to share a controversial/potentially objectionable opinion with someone so I can get used to feeling the anxiety without responding with the unhealthy behavior (by resisting the behavior, over time the anxiety will decrease). And the NOCD app is a low-stakes place to do it; my therapist actually said I should do posts on here twice a day. So I’ll say something: I cannot believe that a good-hearted and sane person, who is aware about all the horrible stuff Trump has done and just what an utter disaster he is, could eagerly/enthusiastically support him (although I could understand someone who knows all this but reluctantly supports him as a perceived lesser of two evils, he’s bombed fewer people etc). However, I can easily believe that a good-hearted and sane person, who is NOT aware about all the horrible stuff Trump is done, because they exclusively consume pro-Trump media that ignores or misrepresents this stuff, could enthusiastically support him- and I think this is the majority of Trump supporters. I see all the time the stupid shit going on and think that if I didn’t know about all of Trump’s evil and criminal actions, I might support him too. Anyway, it’s hard for the left to make a solid case of superiority here, their nominee is a walking corpse and despite their virtue-signaling and identity politics crap Biden and Kamala have each done more to destroy the lives of black people (through mass incarceration and the war on drugs, which they both spearheaded) than Trump has. I very reluctantly voted for Biden and Harris last Thursday- I think they will be meaningfully less bad (still unacceptably terrible, but a lot less bad) on the environment (about which Trump is by far the worst president in history, which is really saying something) and health care and maybe the coronavirus response. But the truth is the American party keep getting screwed over by this impenetrable plutocratic duopoly of very similar politicians. The back-and-forth arguments are so dumb- “Trump is a pervert rapist!” “no Biden is!” “Biden is senile!” “No Trump is!” Instead why don’t we ask why in a country of 330 million, we’re being forced to choose between two clearly senile (although Biden might be worse), hopelessly corrupt, plausibly rapists to be the single most powerful person in the world and bring in a bunch of appointees to control the country and shape (destroy) our lives? What kind of choice is this? Biden’s daughter and Trump’s granddaughter go to the same rich people club or vacation spot or whatever, they’ve taken pictures together. Trump and the Clintons were both pals with Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. “It’s all one big club and you ain’t in it!”

TOCD has broken down my spirit. Day in and day out my anxiety is destroying me. The last 2 months have just been a rollercoaster ride. Starting from confusion to fear to just feeling null and empty. I really do miss when I could do anything without worrying about gender. I miss being just a happy man. Every moment of relief nowadays just feels depressing because its going to come back. It feels like I'm doomed to misery. Regardless, I'll continue to perform self erp and hope I can see a therapist soon.

Feeling so guilty, I can’t do this I’m going to tell summarize this story as much as I can. Please someone read and reply. Because I can’t do this this anymore. I’m friends with my ex from 8th grade. He now has a boyfriend, does makeup, and is bi sexual if you were wondering lol. He has had this boyfriend for like 2 and a half years and I’m so happy for them. Anyways, I’m also in a relationship of 4 and a half years. God I love my boyfriend so much. This is why this is killing me even feeling the way that I do. My ocd is telling and making me feel like I have feelings for my ex. These feelings feel real. Just a side note, I have obsessed about this before, but then it went away and my HOCD came back. I was just obsessing if I liked girls 2 days ago. Yesterday I called my ex because his mom asked me to (before my ocd latched on to this, I used to just call him my friend because we dated in middle school) while I was at the fair with my boyfriend and his brother. She said he was having a panic attack. This “ex” is also pretty toxic in his romantic relationships, that’s why we broke up in the first place. He yells, hits walls, has major anger issues. He said he was doing his makeup and messed up and started having a breakdown, banging on his wall, screaming, crying, and then telling me he wanted to die because he was so anxious and tired. I was literally at the fair but I called him because he’s my friend and I care. He asked me to comeover and that it is an emergency. (Mind you, this isn’t out of the norm, we are really good friends and had just hung out Saturday) and I told him I didn’t have my car and I couldn’t. So he got our other friend to comeover. Ocd is making me feel like because I took his call, and because I felt a bit of a yearning to comeover I have feelings for him. I keep thinking of the past with him, and I legit got love feelings, but thinking of him now I really don’t. But then ocd is making me question that. Idk if this is even ocd because for those 2 seconds on that call, the feelings I got felt genuine. This SCARES me. Makes me panic. Makes me cry. Makes me feel so guilty. I also think about on Saturday night, when him and the girls all did our makeup and went to a birthday party, I was taking pictures in the ring light and he was like “you look so sexy” But it wasn’t super weird of him to say that because he’s just a friend and I don’t think he meant it like that. But I got feelings when he said that. (I was obsessing about having feelings for him earlier that day as well) but before ocd I wouldn’t have had a second thought about that comment. Like wtf. We have been friends for YEARS. My boyfriend and I got into an argument last night, and my ex came up because we were talking about who I would call when I was in distress. Instead of calling my ex a friend like I normally do (because before this I really didn’t consider him a real “ex”) I kept calling him my “ex boyfriend”. My boyfriend kind of got upset at this. I told him I’m sorry, and that I will never have romantic feelings for him, just platonic friend love. WAS THAT A LIE? I know I don’t want to be with him but I feel like I do have feelings for him so did I lie? Guys I know my ex IS NOT good for me. He is toxic, he smokes every single day, he has really no aspirations besides moving out to L.A, and he’s also TAKEN! But these feelings are eating me alive. I woke up from a dream of wanting to kiss my ex, but didn’t because I had a boyfriend. But in this dream I wanted to kiss him. This scares me. I’m sitting here shaking writing this. I woke up panicking, sitting here cuddling my boyfriend because I feel so guilty. Do I need to tell him? Is this even ocd anymore? What is going on. I love my boyfriend so much. I think about our memories together and how he has stuck by my side no matter what and I just cry because he’s the love of my life. But I feel so so guilty. I DO NOT want to be with my ex AT ALL. I’ve obsessed about this before, but it feels so so much more real. I need advice. Thinking about telling him makes me panic, because I don’t know if these feelings are real, or if it’s ocd, I DONT KNOW ANYMORE. Someone please help

I feel like my ocd is different, I can’t really explain it. So I’ll try. Because I’m curious if it happens to anyone else. So I feel like mine is more centered around my motive or intention for certain actions. My ocd attaches to my motive or intention, based on a feeling. So for example, say I’m having an obsession, and it’s pocd. And I’m gonna change a diaper. Because I am on high alert and monitoring my every thought, feeling, sensation, urge- and I’m high anxiety as it is because I’m extremely triggered- my mind starts to race and I start questioning my every move. Why did I take the diaper off that way? Why did I choose to wipe x amount of times? Did I wipe too much? Etc. does this resonate with anyone?

I'm having a panic attack. My hocd thoughts feel so real that these thoughts have to mean something. I don't want to be gay, but I can't see how it is not true anymore. My life is ruined

Help? Kinda struggling with a switching theme. So my Harm OCD while still there is quiet (it wasn’t last night) and I seen a post that triggered me today. (Please y’all use the trigger warning, if going into detail.) Anywho it was about POCD, and none of my thoughts are descriptive (THANK GOD) But I tried to understand what made someone whose really a bad guy the way they are. And I thought of what their potential “argument” might be. At first it was fine, and then I was like “why did you even think that.” Then I was feeling guilt for not feeling guilty for the thought. Then I started to try to rationalize the thought (once again not descriptive). Then I tried accepting the thought and I don’t know why I’m getting stressed about this. OCD sucks y’all. I don’t even like children in general, I can’t stand being around them (I know that sounds mean but sometimes they’re extremely poorly behaved.) so long story short, how do I try to knock this off? Its more so the fact that I was so unbothered that’s bothering me for some reason and making me question my morals yet again :| for something so innately ridiculous. I’ve been sitting with the discomfort for 10 hours, I need something else LOL. Your feedback is appreciated.

I feel like I can’t breathe anymore I haven’t been able to breathe in months I am so tired of it all Tired of trying Tired of therapy Tired of living This isn’t even living I don’t even see myself anymore or my future I am just done.

My POCD is making me feel horrible! Whenever I get these bad intrusive thoughts or POCD, or whenever I’m around little kids. My stomach crawls and feels bad, I get anxious and depressed, and even worse I get groinal response sometimes and I can never tell if I like the intrusive thoughts or not. My OCD says I do and that I’m attracted but it makes me feel so anxious depressed and horrible. I can’t take this anymore what did I do to deserve this. I feel so bad and I can’t tell the difference between anxiety and attraction at this point and I have no one to talk to about it. Sorry this has just been killing me lately.

Well woke up to intrusive thoughts right away. I don’t know if I’m having a backdoor spike, bc I’m anxious but not as anxious as usual. I’m terrified, and I know I have to sit with the uncertainty but I’m wondering if dehydration has something to do with it. Also why am I so scared it’s not OCD 🙃, I have no urges, I’m scared to have an urge. Harm OCD honestly is the fucking worst. I just want to be able to not have the fear that I’m eventually going to go crazy, these past few weeks have been good. The past two days irritating as heck.

i’ve seen a few people really distressed about their pocd & my heart just aches bc i know how scary that subset is. it’s so tough. it takes a lot of strength to fight of the radical shame and pain. i’m urging anyone who has this form of ocd that it is absolutely possible to be free from it. by doing exposures, it dissipates from the mind. i’m holding out my hand to all of you because my heart truly recognizes the hurt. sending so so much love 🤍

Sexual abuse Hello everyone, I need your help regarding something that's not technically my OCD but maybe one of the determining factors of how I got it. My parents divorced when I was 11. My mother cheated on my father, they separated and we moved to our neighbor, the man she cheated with. It was horrible in the beginning, He always talked bad about me and my siblings, that we were lazy and dirty etc. My father always talked bad about my mother, moved on, found a new wife and changed like 180°. Everything we once did was now "something you don't do", we never watched movies again because that's stupid, we never made fun things because his new wife had a little son and we always did boring stuff and nothing we used to do with him. At 14,I developed an eating disorder. After I was in a psychiatric unit for 2 months, I came home and was to gain weight. Around that time my stepfather, still the neighbor my mum cheated with, touched my breasts and my privates while we were sitting on the couch watching TV. He said that I was so pretty and touched me there, then he stopped and we went on watching TV. I was shocked, I don't remember what I did next, I think I just went to bed. The day after, I told my mother. She said that we had to talk to him, so she and me went to him and she asked if it was true. He said no, and I said OK because I just didn't want to be in that situation anymore. My siblings were tired of the divorce, the hard years with my mother's new friend and my eating disorder, so I thought I'd spare them to move again and just be quiet. From this day on, nobody spoke about it anymore. After I moved out, I started to think about it again. I knew it was wrong and I didn't feel comfortable coming back home. My stepfather was a very difficult person, he was erratic and got upset very easily. Everyone tiptoes around him because we lived in his house. At 20,I told my mother that I'd still think about this incident and that it really bothered me. She cried, said she was sorry and that she would leave him. But then she immediately told my siblings.my sister was mad at me for bringing it up now, for destroying her life etc. My brother said nothing. She wasn't sure if she should go, she talked to him and he said sorry, or something like that (it's crazy, I can't remember what he was saying, if it was I'm sorry or it didn't happen or it was a misunderstanding... My brain just gets foggy) and in the end she stayed. She said I shouldn't tell it to many people. This year, she left him. He said that my little sister couldn't come home during the pandemic because it was too strenuous for him. This was the reason my mother left. I helped her get a new flat, to move etc. And then she told me she would've gone earlier but she didn't have a reason, it was always nice and she said she couldn't leave him out of the blue. It was like a slap in my face. At this point, I was in therapy for like 10 years. I kind of managed to keep calm around it, mainly because I need my mom. My father is not who he used to be, she's all I have left. But then my aunt told my dad about it. I didn't want her to do it, since it would only make things worse. So now my dad is mad at me for not telling him. When I told my mother and sister that I might sue my stepfather because I wanted to get some power back, my sister got mad at me and said how I could even think about it, what it would mean for my mother if people knew that she did nothing and that it happened such a long time ago. She said that I should apologize to my mother for making her sad, she beat herself up for such a long time and it would be enough. I know this is a long text, I'm sorry for it. I just feel so furious. I am so unbelievably furious that none of my parents care about Me. I don't know how I can ever be with my mother or my sister... I love them so much but I am so mad at them. They pretend everything is fine. Am I overreacting? Do you have any advice on how to handle this situation?

My bf hasn’t really been much of a texted and he forgets to send me gm or gn texts and I don’t know why it’s upsetting me so much. I have told him I like those things and he did it for a day or two and he forgets now. I know he doesn’t do it on purpose and a relationship shouldn’t be built in these little things I just can’t seem to let go. He also sometimes doesn’t input his opinion when I tell him my stories and I feel like he doesn’t listen which is something we have talked about before but that’s just how he is. I am very talkative he is not. I just want to learn to accept this without having to say “ you’re not right for each other” “you are settling” “you are trying too hard to make it work”. Like um yea I want this to work. He’s the best thing that’s happened to me and I love him. I just always seem to focus on the negative and always doubt everything. I hate it. I want to let go of these thoughts and if he doesn’t input on my stories I don’t wanna care he’s listening to me that’s what matters, if he doesn’t send me texts all the time who cares he’s never been a good texted anyways and he loves in other ways too. Like I can’t with this anymore

Does anyone else not want to do ERP because they might ask you do something against your religion?? For example one of mine said to cuss 5 times out loud