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Feeling recovered but still getting false atttractions whats this?

Anyone else with harm ocd ever get that thought that you would be better off in prison for the rest of your life? Like take me there before I do something my ocd is torturing me with...these thoughts suck.

Hocd is so cruel

Hi, this is my first time posting here, though I have been looking at the app for support for a while already. I have pretty bad social anxiety which unfortunately extends to even being in forums online as well, so I have been putting off sharing on here. I am in my early 40s and have struggled with OCD in various forms since I was a child. In my mid-teens it exploded into very tormenting Pure O. It is complicated by some comorbidity with other diagnoses — social and generalized anxiety, depression, and CPTSD. The sad thing is that I’ve actually experienced so much harm over the years at the hands of uneducated mental health professionals who didn’t have a clue about OCD or how to work with it, and i feel like I carry this extra burden of shame and trauma from those bad experiences on top of the grueling daily struggle I have with my mental health diagnoses. I am set up to have an initial consultation appointment soon with a therapist who is a psychologist in private practice. They seem kind and very knowledgeable, and so I am very hopeful that we will be a good fit for working together. But I am still haunted by those past bad experiences, and so the whole process of starting with someone new is nerve wracking. Has anyone else had bad experiences with therapists who didn’t understand OCD or who had only a superficial understanding of it? Thanks for reading!

I feel almost sick again with guilt over this really manipulative thing I did when I was an early teen and idk what to do. I’m so so SO scared that it defines me. Like it says something about my personality. I wish I hadn’t done it, it was really bad

i’m so sorry for posting so much but i just want to know if this sounds like ocd? basically when i’m ruminating over something that happened for example when i was struggling with real event ocd what bothered me the most was that i felt like i couldn’t let myself enjoy anything, like i had to suffer for eternity, i’d get thoughts like “you don’t deserve to walk, eat, sleep, drink, watch tv, listen to music” etc. and if i did those things i’d get pangs of anxiety, it keeps happening to me and it makes me so depressed and miserable i feel like i don’t even deserve to be myself or talk to friends sometimes and sometimes if i touch something like a glass for example my brain goes you don’t deserve to know the concept of what a glass is. I know it sounds completely crazy and i feel so alone because i haven’t seen anyone else that deals with thoughts like this :( can i get over it?

I wanted to share some things from scripture that have helped me. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 talks about a thorn in Paul’s flesh. Paul says a messenger of satan was sent to torment him (doesn’t specify what he was dealing with) and concerning this he pleaded to the Lord to take it away from him but what the Lord told him was “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This is when Paul says that he will boast about his weaknesses so that God’s power may rest on him and that he will take delight in hardships, insults, persecutions, and difficulties. For when he is weak then he is strong. Now this may be confusing but sometimes God wants to see that we will still seek him and glorify Him when we’re going through hardships and not just when life is good. Also hard times make us stronger in the end because of the strength God gives us. You may not realize it but truly we all have a thorn in our flesh. Absolutely no one if perfect only our Father is. Having ocd has helped me be less judgey towards others and it has helped me cling to the one who knows me better than anyone ever will. It has also helped me better understand that we are all going through or have gone through something tough. But we aren’t to lose hope we are to be strong and courages. Deuteronomy 31:6

Do ssri’s make you go back to normal ? Like help you stop obsessing and help with anxiety?

Let’s talk about POCD and break the stigma, comment below your worst intrusive thoughts on POCD, images, Or even urges, no judgement here.

Hello there, I'm new here I will share my story with you at some point in my life I discovered my OCD by myself. Never went to a psychotherapist yet and I don't want to go I'm Arabic and Muslim, 21 yrs I'm going through many changes in my life I have 2 physiological chronic diseases so I'm very anxious and stressful I try to express my self to my family but no result .. No one knows my status and everyone thought that I'm just overthinking and they say to me why you are like that Also, I can't sleep well normally but recently I struggle with sleeping I never get sleeping unless I'm very tired, and in the morning So I said to my family... The normal reply stop thinking and you will be able to sleep BUT I really can't and I'm thinking to start getting pills ” OTC ” herbal and like that About my OCD, 4 months ago I discovered it by chance, and surprisingly I had since childhood..like a shock for me because I had a wrong idea about OCD I know you will tell me that self-diagnosing is wrong and I have to go to a doctor okay I'm a doctor and I know that and I don't want to be unhealthy but I have it unfortunately I had OCD : being very morally I even blame myself because I take tissues facial tissues when chief is not there, when i was studying i study all the time even i know i memorize all the content but i feel afried to get low marks i have the perfection issue also by the way , I repeat numbering I check doors and oven many times I wash my hand 5 time I always think about what to do if i did something wrong and start blaming my self Other things Im shy to talk about

A Quick Guide For Real Event OCD: Remember that it’s not the memory that is the problem, it’s the OCD that’s the issue Remember that OCD often distorts your past memories and can very often add details to make a memory seem worse than it actually was and can even create false memories. This is a challenging one but, let go of the need for certainly about your past memory or memories. Let go as best you can and be comfortable with uncertainty (this takes time, be self compassionate) Remember that this type of OCD is not special or unique just because it’s based on a (likely distort and over exaggerated) past event, OCD attacks what is most important to us, our biggest fears and issues, it whatever way it can Real event OCD is fundamentally no different than any other type of OCD (and many people suffer from many different types of OCD all at once) The only differences in any type of OCD is what the obsession is over, thankfully, The treatment is the same, this is a moment in life what is a good thing to remember that you (and your condition) are not special Stop reassurance seeking and confessing. It may provide a little relief and lessen your fears but it will not fully take them away, again it’s not the memory that’s the issue it’s OCD’s grip on the memory Ban rumination! No matter how many times you ruminate about every detail and possible outcome of the past event will only make the thoughts more “sticky” in your brain. It’s hard, but stop giving the thoughts credence and let them go as best you can, try to catch yourself in the act of rumination Be mindful and allow the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to just come and go, observe but don’t engage, this helps teach the brain not to attach to these thoughts and feelings and stops the brain for continuously sending the panic alarm. Meditation works very nicely for practicing mindfulness Ask yourself if you should waste your life trying to figure out the past, when you can focus on bringing what you want into your present and future. I know you don’t feel you deserve it. The main tenets of behavior therapy are: We cannot control our thoughts and feelings but we can control our behavior. If you change your behavior, your thoughts and feelings will follow. During this pandemic it can be hard, so try finding hobbies and other positive things to do to fill your day Be here now, this can be challenging but, do your best to live in the now and do what you can to make today great! The past is long over and the future is fantasy. Each day we are born anew and have an opportunity to improve. Most of not all Real Event OCD obsessions are over actions that we would never think of repeating and that we would have never done if we knew then what we know now. Be kind to yourself and remember who you are. Accept that there will be ups and downs, harder days and easier days, on your recovery journey Finally… self compassion not self forgiveness! Forgiveness implies that you have done some unforgivable act and need to work towards reparation for it. This process usually requires time spent discussing and processing the event. You may believe if you find a way to forgive yourself then you can stop obsessing about it. People in your life may have even encouraged you to work on it. With OCD, discussing and analyzing the event is not the approach we want to take. In fact, I’m sure you have already spent excessive amounts of time evaluating the situation and all its many angles, yet getting nowhere. Now, I’m not saying this is an event you are proud of. What I am saying is that it’s not the event that is the problem; it is the OCD that is the problem. There is a chance you would have moved on from the event if the OCD hadn’t grabbed onto it. And we don’t treat OCD with self-forgiveness because OCD exaggerates and distorts life events. Imagine that being stuck on this may not be due to lack of self-forgiveness but the way OCD traps you. OCD has taken over the life event, twisted it and has convinced you into believing it is a critical problem that requires forgiveness or punishment. Resources: Article: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ Video on Real Event OCD: https://youtu.be/ojsA2z_Nf_0 Video on Letting Go: https://youtu.be/ZK6FVw4xfbg Video on “Going Through Hell”: https://youtu.be/toQMJeqdW48 Video “Drunk on Life” accepting the good, the bad and the s Gray area: https://youtu.be/WCsPCrZ4aq0 Jesus Prayer Mindfulness Meditation Guide (NOTE: if you struggle with religious OCD this may not be the best for you) https://youtu.be/6TTDjJ8Cv3Y Za Zen Mindfulness Meditation Guide (NOTE: if you have an issue with number obsession this might not be best for you) https://youtu.be/dDJ_wbjBL6c Book Recommendations: The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by John Hershfield Christ The Eternal Tao by Hieromonk Damascene Anxious For Nothing by Max Lucando The Jesus Prayer by Frederica Matthews Green The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives by Elder Thaddeus F*ck Coping Start Healing by Dennis Simsek Anxiety, Trust and Gratitude by Nun Kathrine Weston NOTE: While all this information is very helpful it is always best to seek treatment and help from a therapist or psychologist. Use the information above is a part of your healing journey, get in touch with a therapist/psychologist to help you better work through these issues

I got mad at my bf yesterday and I feel like I always get mad over the dumbest things and I say I’m gonna get better but I end up doing the same thing and then I get mad at him when he does something that I don’t like and put it on him. And it’s not fair. And I know he’s tired of me getting mad all the time and idk ROCD and HOCD just make me so sad and I am scared I am unhappy. And I try to let these little things go because I really want to and it’s my choice but then my thoughts come and say “well this happened, well he did this, well you can’t get past this” when I reality I can get passed this and live a happy life. But my thoughts also say “if you’re depressed you can’t be happy and you’re just faking it” but I feel like I can for sure be happy and it all depends on me. Idk it’s weird

How all of a sudden can i just like cock this is depressing. All i get in my mind is you love cock, i look at attractive guy you want his cock. Image of a guys penis in my butt ,. Grionals in my butt, hes hot etc... fml

As far as im concerned my life is over if this is true

My rocd is playing tennis with itself. When my s.o. is in a good mood I feel annoyed and irritated, when they're in a bad mood I fear they're going to leave me. It's so frustrating. I've been trying to sit with the discomfort and/or ignore it, but it's exhausting. Has anyone else ever dealt with this? Any suggestions for what to do?

I’ve had OCD from a really young age with obvious symptoms. I always wonder, “why didn’t my parents do anything to help? Why wasn’t I taken to a psychologist?” It makes me so mad to feel like my OCD could have been prevented, and it really sparks resentment towards my parents :-( can anyone relate or provide advice?

Does anyone feel like they’re wasting their life away with mental illness? It depresses me so much everyday. My mental health has ruined my life since I was 15 and now I’m approaching 24 and am still in the same place- actually worse. I feel like when I get my life together I’ll be 28 and all my good years would’ve passed. It just makes me so sad 😔

This really fucking sucks rn I feel like I’m a lesbian and I want it When I truly don’t want these thoughts or to be with a girl. I don’t want to want girls either. I want guys. I want butterflies and those romantic, giddy feelings for guys not girls. I want to fall in love with a guy. I want to want guys and not have my fucking mind telling me they’re gross. I’m so jealous of girls that are so attracted to guys and have bfs cause I want that I hate this so much :( I don’t know how to get better I’m even uncomfortable at the thought of being sexual with manly guys now as well :( (Do any of y’all any experience that?)

I dont want to give up women because of this. But nearly every guy looks attractive. Why is this ?

Hello everyone, my name is Cameron Harris. In early February of this year I developed OCD. My OCD was revolved around my sexual orientation. I would do compulsions all day and night to rid me of my intrusive thoughts and sensations. It was horrible. On March 30th I built up the confidence to google what I was experiencing. What popped on the screen were 3 letters...”OCD.” I was relived but terrified at the same time. The next morning I told my Mom and Stepfather that I believe I have OCD around my sexual orientation. They were both confused and kept saying “but you’re not gay...?” I kept reassuring myself saying “I know I know but my thoughts won’t stop, I can’t stop thinking about it.” I burst out in tears because I was so terrified. I began looking at OCD YouTube videos on how to recover. I realized to stop the thoughts you have to stop the compulsions and do this thing called “ERP.” I had no idea what that was and began researching more. I started creating my own exposures and learning what mental and physical compulsions were. I began exposing myself and felt accomplished but I was still suffering. In late April I began the theme of “what if I never recover from OCD.” I was miserable. I had no idea how to expose myself and stop these new thoughts and began compulsively watching OCD recovery videos to make sure I was recovering just right. In early May my mother recommended I find a support group. I began researching and came across NOCD. I told my mom and at first she was a bit iffy because it was online therapy. I begged and begged and finally she agreed. I had my first appointment on June 2nd and began therapy with NOCD. The next 2 months of therapy were tough. I was doing exposures everyday for an hour. Listening to my scripts over and over and over. It came to the end of August and was still dealing with my obsessions but my anxiety was at a 1 to these thoughts and I said these magic words to myself...”Why was I so worried about this?!” From then on life has gotten so much better and had my monthly check in yesterday. My thoughts and significantly decreased as well as my anxiety levels in general. I still have the thoughts pop in about me being gay like once or twice a day and most likely 20-30 thoughts about recovery a day. I now wake up everyday appreciating how great life can be. I truly thank NOCD and all of you for your love and support. A happy normal life is possibly without being tortured by OCD. Anyone can get over it with time and hard work. If anyone has any questions for me let me know. God bless. - Cameron