Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I just wanna say, that I've had some Pretty good days! And Its helping me so much too Keep myself busy and to have something to do, Its settles my mind and also held me when Im alone! There is hope out there ☀️☀️

I can’t touch anything my parents touch. (If any part of them touches it) . That includes people. I’m so isolated from my family I hate it. I was forced to move out because the family dog accidentally got in my room. It’s been almost a year and all my stuff is still in my old room because everything the dog touched is “dirty” now. I feel my workplace is “dirty” now after I tried to do an exposure and go to work “dirty” but it backfired and I have too much anxiety when I’m there and I have to come home and wash everything I touched that I need to bring with me to work. But it’s really difficult because I have two jobs and I have to go from the “dirty” job to the clean one and it’s all too much. I want to quit the “dirty” one but i don’t know how and I don’t want ocd to win.

I feel like I'm being spiritually attacked I just want to have control of my thoughts without feeling like I'm an evil being. I love God and Jesus and I feel like I'm the only one who maybe needs to be put in a mental hospital.

Just want to ask if you will still feel normal after recovery of existential ocd? Im just anxious that I will never be normal again. I am thinking if I sucessfully recovered thid OCD will everything get back to normal as before? I really appreciate your answer. Thank you.

Are false memories common? Any way of differianting what it real and what is just your stupid mind creating problems

Tips for beating sexual harm ocd or POCD: - radically accept all your thoughts, whether they create anxiety or trigger arousal. Practice this like you’ve never practised anything before. - if you have stopped masturbating or don’t when ‘those pics’ come, continue to cum? don’t forcefully redirect anything. Just accept your natural fantasy gets these odd and unnatural fantastical intrusions. If you FORCE the preferred response you will create more anxiety. - engage in sex and if this causes triggers or arousal difficulties (when I’m in an episode I sometimes need 10-15 minutes before I’m hard), communicate this with your partner. Accept and MARINADE in the disturbing yet pleasurable yet terrifying soup of fantasy and nightmare. What you are DOING will communicate to your brain that you have your preferences, and that your fears can be devalued. - also take time to look at your sexual self schema. I always liked to say I loved sex and was usually pretty confident. That’s kinda true, but also was built on shaky ground. I used to feel confident yet it would only take one bad aspect to then make me aversive that aspect. So for example I experienced premature ejaculation with a girl I loved, despite several years of sexual experience and confidence. The bad experience decimated all the good experience. I also have some side effects of sexual trauma that are affecting things in a future orientated fashion. On that last point be honest with your fear - in the interests of leading by example: My sexual failures would always surmount my successes. Successes have outweighed failures. But I was only truly confident in sexual areas where I had a 100% success rate. Problems are then triggered by past abuse I have recalled and the fear that that could turn me into a pedophile. So I have to control my fantasy and sexual conduct 100% to avoid that which I do without realising. When I have real insight, sexual harm and POCD return. The point here is to test your predictions and take a BIG leap of faith to reclaim your sexuality. The other aspect is to realise it is not a quick solution: sexual obsessions are particularly tricky but they are also getting more and more common. Problems with arousal and orgasm were common with people who used to have HIV. It’s the same irrational fear that you could enjoy molesting your own kid, or of having an unwanted pregnancy. - understand that your sensitivity to anxiety and fear may be genetic but it is not impervious to influence. This is where deep work on your self belief and the hard work of addressing confidence, past trauma or bullying and condependancy needs to be addressed as fully as possible. Erp is good, Cbt is good, But some inner work is also required. It’s about rebuilding your character and transforming to be closer to someone who just doesn’t get so easily tripped up. There are many with our predispositions who have we celebrated and excellent mental health. This is medium to long term work and is a deep investment in yourself. It should be seen that way. And aim for a grade A score, not 100%. Allow for some imperfection. That for me is: - knowing I will have perverse unwanted thoughts from time to time. - knowing that I sometimes take several minutes to get aroused, and may need that time again during love making. So I best build on those other skills I’m more confident in. - knowing I LOSE CONFIDENCE, when there is a break in activity ( for me this was birth of our second child which was very tough, and almost didn’t happen). Had that not happened.......I might not be here obsessing. Good luck people. I am FAR from free - and this is going to trip me up again and again, and I will need support and admit my embarrassments. But if I can help you today, then I would like to do so.

when will i ever get myself under control. i hate this. i hate everything. it’s taken so much away from me. i feel like i’ll never recover.

People who have experienced ROCD- I had a rough day yesterday with my boyfriend due to acting on some compulsions. My compulsion is to seek reassurance. It was just not a good night because he was getting impatient, I was getting sensitive.. just not good. Anyway, we’re good now, but I just feel uneasy. My OCD always continues because after I complete a compulsion, I feel guilty and then I get more irrational thoughts that my boyfriend will leave me... thus I seek more reassurance. How do I get out of this insecure space in my head WITHOUT seeking reassurance again? Does this last a long time?

can someone help me with my post from 6 hours ago please. just please.

False memories and past event obsessions are making me feel so isolated. Like I can't relate to the talks about needing to accept that bad things could happen because I feel like I've already ruined my life by accident and I cannot trust anyone because of false memories and I suppressed my dark side/personality disorders. I know you all cannot really reassure but is anyone else out there in this situation?

I just did a panic attack because we were talking about death in english class today.

I am having existential ocd, like im feeling nervous when I am thinking about life and especially what happens after death. I am not like this before. Will I ever be back to normal?

I saw a better therapist today, she seemed as if she’s been familiar with same people as me. Still fearful and worried. I become fearful of good thoughts because I feel they’ll come around to bite me. It feels the more I try to think of good thoughts genuinely they’re filled with doubt as soon as I say or think them and it really sucks. Does anyone else fear that they’re losing their masculinity(guys)?

I’m starting to believe an intrusive thought as a memory and I can’t live with the thought that I might’ve done it ): I know I haven’t but I’m scared I’m going to full on believe I did and ruin my life because of it. No matter how much I tell myself I haven’t I don’t believe it and it feels like my life is over

Did anybody felt better when taking zoloft?

Currently dealing with thoughts that my boyfriend doesn’t care about me based on our interactions last night and this morning via text (which I shouldn’t even read into). Usually I would confront him and he would assure me that’s not the case... but then that feeds the OCD and I feel guilt. I’m fighting really hard right now but it’s hard. Another layer of this is that we have different love languages. I’m words of affirmation, and that’s something he’s trying to work on but some days it does falls flat for me. Helpppp!

Does anyone else literally get stuck in the bathroom because you washed your hands but then you touched a tap and or the towel and you keep going. Your parents are getting angry because of how long you have been in there and your breakfast is going cold? This happens everyday 4 me

My biggest HOCD fear Isn’t even about being gay anymore it’s about hurting others and being known as a liar or that I deceived her and every other girl I dated. I don’t even give myself the freedom to be gay if I felt like being gay hahah it’s completely dependent on how others will feel and see me and the shame and the yatta yatta...GUYS OR GIRLS WHO ARE GOING THROUGH HOCD...I’ve dug myself too big of a whole to the point where my sexuality might actually be something else hahaha but the feeling and thoughts of HOCD still keeps me up at night and attack me in the morning - ALL RELATED TO GUILT AND SHAME AND BEING GAY IN THE FUTURE WITH MY BEST MALE FRIEND AND LIFE COMING TO AN END....but I’m getting through it somehow! If you want to laugh let’s talk about our stories. There was once a time where I got 35 erections in one day all for guys including around every male family member in my family and male friend in my class. The girls that I hooked up with frequently and had sex with all the time came to me years later and I couldn’t get it up and they were all so confused.

I haven't even had any intrusive thoughts, I'm just anxious I'm a bad person and am what I fear. I KNOW I should be confident, I know I should label the thoughts as ocd, but yet I still fear I don't truly have ocd or that I really am just truly a bad person who has manipulated their therapist into thinking they aren't or that I'm just some sort of bad person who on the spectrum isn't as bad as others or something? I just hate this. *possible trigger* I always pray that if I truly am a P that God will just kill me some how.

Friends here with ROCD- I haven’t ever been in a serious relationship, the last time I “dated” was 8 years ago, and I don’t really think I know what it actually looks like to like someone. I’ve recognized a certain cycle that’s happened probably 20 times in my life but didn’t realize how unhealthy it was until this year. This is the cycle: I find a guy somewhat attractive, he either says something or does something small (normal, not out of the ordinary?), my brain takes this little thing(s) and obsesses over it & turns it into this huge deal where I keep thinking about him, stalking his social media, making me compulsive (googling things, asking friends for advice, etc), and making me believe I really like this guy. This has happened twice in the last 3 months. Does this happen to anyone else?! How do you break the cycle, etc? When I’m in the obsession phase, it literally lasts for a week and sometimes makes me physically sick from the stress. Help!