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the NOCD Community

Being around my niece and her friend is really freaking me out right now I don’t know what to do. I keep getting false feelings like groinal response and intrusive thoughts. I thought I was at a point where it wouldn’t bother me and it really is. I feel so disgusted

i haven’t noticed how horrible my ocd is until i sent something to my friends about the new conjuring and how if u watch it u can attract demons and they were just like “haha that’s silly” or making fun of it, but i was convinced it’s true and i bought sage and kept praying because i was convinced something bad attached to me. i know it’s just a movie and it’s ridiculous to have these worries over a block buster movie like it’s actually insane i am even worrying about it, but ocd literally convinced me if i don’t pray and use sage then someone will die around me or i’ll do something bad. 😭this was really a reflection moment for me where i was shocked at how bad my themes have gotten. i literally spent most of my day like in my own head thinking bc i have POCD and HOCD and s*icidal ocd and in*est ocd that i am possessed. ☹️it’s like my cod’s way to prove i don’t have ocd and that it’s my own spirit and soul that’s evil... this was probably a lot to read, but i just wanted to share how crazy ocd can get and how if anyone is struggling, i am with you and you’re not alone.

How do yall make new friends?

how do i deal with this: my friend is talking to me about boys and a hot guy she met at the store today and while she was talking to me i was getting thoughts like "she's normal... she likes grown, attractive guys when i like little boys". this happens often and it feels so real. sometimes it feels like im actively thinking it but the thought sounds more like "she's happily infatuated with men meanwhile i'm stuck with pocd". in other situations when im talking to someone about romance and that sorts of stuff enthusiastically i get racing thoughts that portray me as a deviant. they're in first person too which is scary. i just despise this so much because although these thoughts distress me they come in so naturally it's like i don't even notice them sometimes. i don't know what im supposed to do :\

Guys I was diagnosed with anxiety and not OCD. Idk something told me I had ocd with how frequent my intrusive thoughts were

Has anyone successfully explained OCD to their partner and got support from them or asked for support from them without being too much of a burden to them? Any tips? Thanks!

Can somebody please assist here I'm trying to do erp erp for me is almost every thought anyway however before I am able to do erp I react automatically with my thoughts the reaction is automatic I haven't got a clue how to change this. Its frustrating me because I know now I've trained my mind to produce these ocd symptoms because of the way I react how can I react differently when it's happening automatically now? This is not reassurance I'm asking for a way to help myself around and eventually through the situation.

Question for people who recovered or are in recovery, does attraction goes back to normal?

Hi all, wanted to share some recent insight I hope can help people. So from my understanding, the emotional brain doesnt understand logic, this is why its often said you cannot think your way out of anxiety, or any emotion necessarily, you need to let them wash over you. It understands behaviours, how you engage and choose to react with the thoughts/feelings. This is probably why some, or most of you when you guys have come out of an obsession, when the old one pops up and you are no longer reacting to it by ruminating etc, you realise how bizarre it was that it upset you before. It is the rumination (analysing, reassurance, rationalising) and other compulsions it then leads you to do other compulsions such as googling etc, which is one of my big go to's. The thougt content does not matter. Choose to not get into it, to take the risk and not answer the questions it poses, your brain will start to go oh, we're not reacting with behaviours or fueling further emotions, we'll start sending those thoughts and emotions less and less, and with less intensity. Just be careful not to try and use this as suppression, you ARE acknowledging the thought but instead going, whatever and getting on with your day, sure, it won't be easy at first. But an attitude adjustment and a refusal to engage in the behaviour that keep you stuck will take you a long way. The part of the brain keeping you stuck understands behaviours, don't engage in those behaviours that keep you stuck (compulsions) and take the risk to just live your life with healthy behaviours, again, you'll start to gain more clarity when you are out of that rumination cycle. Rumination is controllable, when you get your next "what if" do not engage or answer it, or engage in any other compulsions, this is the aim of ERP. freedom from OCD is through more of a non-doing with your thought and emotions, it's the rumination and other behaviours that keeps you stuck.

I remember I once came across a tiktok where it was signs of comphet and it was things like, If you think, “I’d date her if I was a guy”, “I wouldn’t treat her like that”, “She’s cute” “She’s hot” , “I’d date someone like her” and ever since I saw that stupid video my mind automatically thinks those things when I see any girls. It’s like the more I pick up about what it’s actually like to find girls attractive, the more my brain throws it at me. I was watching Teen Mom and her boyfriend called her a bitch so I thought, “I wouldn’t treat her like that” and it’s just crazy and annoying because I can’t tell if it’s real or not anymore.

Question for people who’ve been doing ERP for a long time: do you feel like you have to keep doing exposures continually over time, in order to stop obsessive thoughts? Or do you feel like once you’ve done them long enough you’re able to clear the obsessive thoughts and stop doing ERP? In other words, do you feel it is an ongoing way to manage OCD or do you feel it can stop it from recurring?

Anyone else always get triggered by people Brie Larson? Always seems like she’s always fancied by women and it terrifies me :( Lots of little things triggering me today

someone please help what i often do is try and imagine scenarios with the same sex to see if i like it, but lately i have had a thought: what if these are fantasies and not compuslions?!?!?! i am scared these are fantasies that i like especially because i have been getting groinal responses and haven't felt disgusted by them (bit of background: when my hocd first started i used to feel so nauseous every time i thought about it and never had groinal responses but now i don't feel anxiety nor disgust and i am getting groinal responses) does it mean i am gay????

I'm not doing well

Hey everyone, today I’m struggling with accepting that I feel like I want to have a same sex fantasy and what that means. I have been doing really well being non judgmental and open with my thoughts. But this particular thought is really scaring me. Does anyone have any mindfulness techniques to move through these feelings and thoughts?

Guys I feel like I'm on the verge of figuring out this is just denial even though deep down I know it's not. Like I know I don't want to be with a woman and know I wouldn't be able to be in love with one, but it's just starting to feel so true that it feels like it's time to just admit to myself that I am bisexual. I've tried even telling myself I am and there's no anxiety, but it just feels wrong. What am I supposed to do?

I have such an irrational fear of emotionally hurting my fiancé that I have completely stopped talking to women as a whole. It’s not that I want to but I feel like if I have a conversation with a woman, I’ll overthink everything I said to make sure I wasn’t flirty or too nice and it’s gotten to the point where I rather not even talk to them. But I feel like this makes me look so awkward to people and I don’t know what to do :/

What if you think people in your life are deliberately trying to trigger your sexual orientation ocd? I ended up watching pornography that didn't align with my sexual orientation and it got pretty graphic and weird and I think my fiancees family somehow saw my history. I mentioned this before but there is yet another trigger I think they left for me to see that is supposed to represent the graphic pornography I watched. I feel I want to tell my therapist exactly what it is but I'm so embarrassed. I keep getting triggered over and over again and I really think it's on purpose but I can't bring it to attention because then it will be known what I watched and what I've been going through. I don't know how to handle this. Anyone else feel like they can't even say exactly what they are dealing with, without their whole world falling apart?

I’m kind of confused on the trigger I’m facing right now? I’m watching ESPN cuz I always watch ESPN but I’m feeling this anxiety right now that isn’t associated with what I’m watching. My head keeps turning to look at my window as if someone is looking at me. I don’t know to keep watching tv or to turn it off and let whatever I’m feeling pass or keep watching tv and feel this anxiety that’s mainly on my groin area right now? So I’m like what should I do? I’ve explained to a therapist this but they kind of didn’t give me a good idea or any idea on what to do. I’m feeling anxiety. Like I’m not trying to be an ass and not think about what I’m being maybe forced to think about but if my mind won’t go there what am I supposed to do? This is where I keep failing at. This issue right here is what makes me give up and not continue. An ocd specialist that I worked with thinks its a form of psychosis and wanted me on an antipsychotic. I’ve taken 2 different antipsychotics each for at least a month but I would stop cuz this supposed psychosis piece didn’t go away while being on the antipsychotic. So I’m like the only time I would feel relief is when I would be able to think about sex with a girl which relieved this anxiety. Now if I were to watch tv and a girl popped up I’d hear an ocd thought so I’m like well ok I was able to think about sex with a girl but yet still see an ocd thought pop up when a girl showed up on tv. So I’m like ok. I must’ve been triggered by a girl from a distance and I was able to think about sex with a girl but yet when I’m faced with a girl I still would see or hear my ocd saying “big dick, good dick, guy, gay,” so is it actually even worth being triggered about something I can’t actually think of when I’m out and about or watching tv because I’m seeing or hearing thoughts “big dick, good dick, I’m gay,” like my ocd is still there and I’m still struggling. So cuz of everything I’m saying in this is why I give up and feel like I can’t actually get better cuz I’m doing this blind with no help and I don’t know what to do when feeling like this. This is really hard to do when I don’t have a therapist guiding me through this anxiety. Like I was told to seek a higher level of care but I’m like “ I thought I’ve told you I’m not actually able to seek a higher level of care?” I don’t have regular insurance so why am I being suggested to seek a higher level of care when you know I can’t actually do it? I’m actually trying to get better. I want a normal life but everytime I go see a therapist they’re like they don’t know what to do with me. They tell me I have a lot of knowledge of ocd and erp already and I’m facing my fears already but I’m like I’m obviously failing at an exposure that is keeping me like this that has been called a form of psychosis but yet being on an antipsychotic didn’t help so what else could it be? From what I see in my head of what thoughts continue popping up repeatedly I think the reason why I’m feeling what I’m feeling is due to my ocd that I’m faced with when seeing a girl. But I had hocd. I’m not sure how much erp I should do with this new ocd that affects me from actually asking a girl out and talking to a girl like normal. I don’t want to do an exposure too long that will bring back hocd cuz I want to be able to talk to dudes like normal but also want to talk to girls like normal so I’m kind of lost as to how to go about this. I know this is a lot but I don’t know what to do.

hi i just recently joined this app and i am terrified. i am a 15 year old girl that has been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life. my first recollection with it was the constant fear that my siblings would forget how to breathe. i would stay up all night just to check on them and ensure that they are ok. it went away but then i started having problems with my religion. i was so constantly scared that every move i made would disappointment god and that i would be sent to the devil. it got to the point where i would feel as if a demon was watching me while i slept. now i am dealing with my sexuality. i have known my entire life that i am straight. only ever had romantic feelings for men and never thought of women as anything more than a friend. cause of quarantine i have developed these intrusive thoughts where i feel as if everything i do will make people believe i am gay. i am an ally to the lgbtq community but i keep having these unwanted thoughts of me being homosexual even though i have never felt attracted to women. i need help. i am just a teenager but i have been suffering with ocd my entire life and just now i decided to acknowledge it. i am also way too scared to tell my parents. they are so loving and protective of me that i feel as if i will disappoint them. im sorry this was long i just needed to let it all out. have a good day!!