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This is driving me nuts I don't know if this is reality or not or the thoughts are real. The thought of being with man disgusts me 😔

Just woke up from having loads of dreams. some of them were quite sexual involving women and some of them were involving having to choose a sexuality and bisexual kept popping up. Trying really hard to just accept uncertainty and not dwell on it but it’s very difficult when it shows up in dreams too :( I don’t get much anxiety towards this anymore either which I worry is a sign it’s true.

is ocd genetic?

My ROCD is driving me insane lately. It's not giving me that much anxiety, which I know isn't a bad sign. But there's always that "if it's not making you anxious, it means you don't care" or something like that in the back of my mind. I get thoughts that I don't love him, or that he's just a friend (this one is because I don't enjoy sex that much.) I see myself putting too much thought into sex, as it isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but then I also see it as "if you're not having sex then you technically are just friends." Because that's like the difference between platonic and romantic. Another thing is the intrusive imaginations. Like, I'll imagine myself telling him I no longer love him, that I'm just not feeling it anymore, that he's not attractive enough, tall enough, or I think that everything he does is annoying/cringey even though it isn't, and the list goes on. We also live together, so it's hard because it breaks my heart to imagine doing those things, but I also know a lot of people who also get upset when breaking up with people even though it's what they "have" to do. You know, those couples that, nothing really went wrong, things just "weren't working." I'm scared I'll end up like that, where nothing is wrong, but I just don't feel the same anymore. Anyway, I just really wanted to get that off my chest. The part that bugs me the most is definitely the "just friends" thing because it's the most realistic.

distraction post: what's your favourite movie?

Anyone here on this app who also experiences this? When u have ocd such as POCD, Incest OCD, or just sexuality OCD in general. And you're constantly thinking about it and because of that you start doubting yourself, 'Do I do this because I'm actually in love with this familymember/kid/person, or because I'm overthinking my OCD? It's freaking me out, please help, I'm not asking for reassurance (tho I wish I could) but more for a conversation and/or tips with and from people who've also experienced this.

I feel suicidal. I’m aware that ERP will help me deal with the anxiety and function better while alive, but the thought of battling with these thoughts forever makes we want to check out. Why keep going? I feel like I’m living a double life where I’m a monster half the time until I “sober up” (I don’t drink) why keep going?

Is any there to talk about hocd I’m going crazy. Please help me.

Confessing is a compulsion I understand that but what if someone tells you “if you have an urge then you need to tell me” but I don’t want to tell them because I’m afraid of how they will react because they don’t believe I have ocd then what should I do? I feel like I’m keeping it from them or being secretive and I don’t mean to be. I believe they meant if I wanted to act on the urge? I definitely don’t want to act on anything

Has anyone ever went through grief/a break up where it seems that ocd makes the process worse? Like having anxious/intrusive thoughts that aren’t even reflective of your feelings about the situation?

I think my hocd is making me think im gay or bi, why does it feel like I like dudes? It feels so real, it feels geniune. This never happened before and in the early days of HOCD. Should i just come out as bisexual. I dont even get desires but i feel like they look good

So urges are apart of ocd right well anyway here’s what’s bothering me. One time I confessed to my mom everything that was wrong with my intrusive thoughts and feelings. And they are mostly about my niece because she’s the only kid really in my life right now. So my mom doesn’t believe I have ocd. She gets mad at me every time I mention it and it makes me really upset to not have a supportive parent even thought I’m 22 but still she’s my mom. So one time she told me that if I ever had an urge to let her know. I’m guess that she meant if it was a real urge if I wanted to do something. Ocd is different. It is unwanted and absolutely sucks and causes fear and anxiety. I’ve had a couple urges recently regarding my niece and I would never EVER act on them or even want to. I absolutely hate that this is even happening to me. I can’t confess either because it’s a compulsion and makes things worse. I don’t know what to do. Should I just keep everything to myself. I tried talking to my therapist about it and it didn’t help and hopefully in the future my mom can talk to my therapist. I know this is a long story I just feel so alone and feel so misunderstood. I’m scared my mom thinks I’m a monster or if I actually told her about my “ocd intrusive urges” she will hate me forever and never let me near anyone again.

sorry i’m having a rough ocd day and just wanted to vent. having hocd is like rubbing an eraser on a piece of paper until it wears a hole in it and the entire page is ruined. that’s how i feel about relationships and my sexuality. i can’t enjoy anything romantic. i can’t connect to anyone on that “next level.” i’m too busy monitoring my every thought and feeling under a microscope 24/7 to the point where i can’t experience crushes or anything relationship-related without anxiety sucking the enjoyment from it. i feel like i’m watching everyone around me live life normally with their significant others and i’m just alone behind a wall of glass because nothing feels right to me. i lose feelings for guys the minute they show interest so i’ve subconsciously(?) started going after guys who are emotionally unavailable or live far away. i can’t stop analyzing my past for clues, i can’t stop trying to make mental connections, i can’t even identify what my true feelings are because my mind is so skewed with anxiety. i feel i’m just naively repressing my real feelings, i feel like i’m unknowingly in denial, and i just feel so disconnected from myself and others. i’m terrified that i’ll never be able to get close to someone without hocd ruining it. i don’t want to date girls but even typing that sentence, my mind is compulsively checking to see if i really mean that. i don’t think i want to date girls. i think i want to date guys, but what if it’s just comp. het? (which was the most triggering discovery for me btw). i’m just inexplicably worried that the “solution” to all of this is truly just me being a lesbian. i don’t want to be, but it feels like an inevitable “sentence” that i’m going to have to accept eventually. it gives me so much anxiety because it doesn’t feel like me. but with hocd i don’t even know what “me” really feels like anymore. i’m so frustrated. it’s been almost 6 years that i’ve been dealing with this and i’m starting to lose hope. i feel like i just can’t participate in life the way everyone else does. i feel like i’m doomed to live out the rest of my life without a relationship because i just can’t see myself peacefully dating someone without doubts eating me alive. i’m so beyond jealous of people who don’t have to deal with this. it makes me feel like an incomplete person, like parts of me are missing and i’m just defective and lying to everyone. hocd sucks. and of course i’m often stuck ruminating about whether it really even is hocd instead of just denial. these thoughts make me feel so isolated and i’m just so incredibly sick of it. but anyway. thank you for reading if you’ve gotten this far.

This is officially the worst day I’ve had in years. I was having a bad day and in the way home from my family member with cancer’s house, we saw my cat dead on the road. Now my cat is dead AND my ocds acting up even worse.

Man I am doing compulsions like crazy today. My anxiety about being a lesbian is super high. I keep getting the feeling that I was never as attracted as I should be go men. That thought is killing me ay the moment.

Possible trigger warning im not sure I hate this so much, i feel exactly like a lesbian and i just wanna cry and sleep and the thought of being happy w/ a girl or being happy being a lesbian makes me so sad cause its not what i want But i feel like im attracted to girls now, see why guys like them and would like being w/ them even though i dont want to And THEN that im not attracted to boys anymore, not understanding what’s attractive about them (or not be able to be attracted to them) and wouldn’t like it even though i do want that, so badly:( but now even saying that feels like a lie and like i cant have it I hate this how did this completely alter my sexuality I don’t do anything but talk about this, cry, and sleep now im barely living Is this what figuring out your sexuality is like? Like GOD, i wish i wanted women and didnt have all these fucking conflicting feelings, but everytime i say i want women i get sad and depressed and feel lost and then terrified i actually want them and DONT WANT THEM then when i say i want a man, i get feelings of disgust / repulsion / idefk and i HATE IT and wanna cry even more and that makes me more sad / triggers me more than the thoughts of girls now like OMG Bruh is this what figuring out sexuality is like or is this ocd cause imma bout to leap off a bridge (not literally nocd, for the most part) Like my goodness any sexuality / gender / anything would be easier than this shiz

Tw Pocd I’m so freaking out right now I think I had an intrusive thought or real thought to look at my nieces private part on purpose and I didn’t but still why would I ever want to do that. She’s in a bathing suit and it’s freaking me out……I don’t know what to do 😭😭😭

I'm so sick of dealing with rocd. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month and a bit but we've been talking since September. My rocd has been with me since then too. I'm so done with dealing with the constant uncertainty and never know what's gonna happen. What if I lose feelings? What if if I'm not obsessed over him it means I don't like him or that I eventually will not like him? It's like, I feel ocd stole a lot of things from me. I've suffered the same with figure skating. I loved doing my sport, but I felt the need to be obsessed I'm order to "comprove" I actually loved it. And was scared that if I started not to be I'd lose those extremely exciting feelings that meant I was passionate about it. I overcome my ocd in figure skating; and noticed that yes I loved it, but also wasn't obsessed with it and it felt so weird... Eventually I started feeling unmotivated and quit. And I get so frustrated, it's like I feel like ocd stole figure skating from me. I just wanted to enjoy it and although I did you know... The same is happening with my boyfriend. I love him so much but I'm so tired of dealing with this exhaustion every single day. At this point, I feel like breaking up would make me feel so relieved, free from all those concerns,... I'm so so so done. I just wanted to live life normally.

Hi guys!! I had harm ocd & still somewhat do i haven’t met with my therapist yet I’m very new to this site, but I would watch Ali greymonds videos on YouTube she also had ocd herself & it helped me a lot I’m almost feeling back to my regular self again so if you’re ever feeling hopeless at any time of the day pls go watch & there is hope I am telling you, use the same mental energy that you’re using to focus on the thoughts, to not focus on them. You will not act on these thoughts, you’re not a bad person, these thoughts are ocd thoughts not yours, these thoughts go against your own thoughts that’s why you are scared of them. We are just sensitive people with sensitive brains lol nothing to feel bad about. Trust me I had 10/10 anxiety 6 months ago I thought I was never going to get out of it I thought it was going to be my new forever but I put in the mental work everyday & im slowly but surely getting myself out of it. You have to push yourself mentally everyday though, just like a diet you can’t eat good for 3 days & see a change the first 2 weeks will be the hardest because your brain will be trying to pull you back in (this is for the people just starting to fight back still with 10/10 anxiety) the thoughts, images, dreams, etc, will all get scarier you will get the same thoughts in hundreds of different ways none of them matter, they are not real, even tho they feel so real it’s all just a ocd scam ocd makes everything feel real even tho it is not, the what if thoughts after are just as irrelevant as the original thought itself, let the thought be there & pass don’t question yourself don’t look into it only makes it worse. After you push hard thru and tell yourself that you are no longer wasting your time to focus on these thoughts that YOU are in control & YOU choose to ignore, you will notice you will start to feel so much better & it will give you motivation to keep going, there’s always good & bad days in recovery but don’t focus on them accept whatever you’re feeling if it’s a bad day oh well if it’s a good day great. You’ve allowed your mind to see these thoughts as important & scary, so your brain sends you these thoughts on autopilot all day your reaction is what will keep them around, if you tell yourself yes these thoughts are so scary, why do I have to deal with this, I want this to go away, your brain will keep sending it to you as important & as a way to protect yourself, your brain doesn’t know what the thought is it just knows you react in fear so it believes you’re in danger (which you’re not actually it just doesn’t know that). So if you react to the thought without fear & choose to blow it off as not important that’s what your brain will see it as, it will take a while for your brain to mark these as not important after that’s how you treat them but that’s okay give it time to heal just continue to tell yourself this is just ocd it’s not important & you’re choosing to not focus on it. No matter how scary these thoughts are choose not to focus on them , your brain will send these thoughts with automatic feelings like fear, anxiety, sadness, etc how ever you reacted on these thoughts before, & is how it will send them in on autopilot for just alittle while before it realizes you don’t seem to focus on them anymore but just choose to ignore all the feelings, sensations, etc that come with these thoughts because they are all just ocd symptoms, just like with a cold it comes with annoying symptoms & they’re going to be there yes & is there anything you can do about it no, it’s just going to be there but the farther you get in recovery the less you will feel these symptoms. It DOES get better I promise & I am a 20 year old (just turned 20 yesterday 😌) so it doesn’t matter the age, if you WANT to get better you will, you just have to put in that mental work even though I know it is so hard, & it doesn’t matter what theme you have ocd works the same for everyone! Everyone gets these thoughts these are just junk thoughts we had happened to look to deeply into. I hope what I said helps atleast someone if you took your time to read this thank you ((: we all got this ❤️

Why don't the thoughts disgust me as much anymore?. Well sometimes they do them sometimes they don't 😔