Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I am about 99.99% sure I am bi-sexual but carry immense shame as a bi-male. I cherish traditional relationships or relationships with only women. I don’t know if it’s the anxiety talking or if it’s me but I want out of this depression so I can feel happy regardless of what it is, I don’t want to be depressed or sad anymore I feel a stronger attraction to women. I don’t know what else to say.

The more you try to figure it out and the more you do compulsions will it feel more real. I feel like I’m in the position where I’m genuinely confused if I’m a p or not when before I thought I knew deep down that I wasn’t. But I feel like I’m just so deep into confusion that I don’t know anymore and it feels too real now. Im doomed

This is just so awful. My best friend knows what I’m going through. She knows that I just learned that I probably have OCD. She knows that I’m struggling with doubt. Yet she has given up on me. She has stopped asking how I’m doing. She has stopped loving me. After our psychology class, she said something that was so awful for me to hear. She told “our” friends about how people want a diagnosis so badly. So they look something up and before they even get diagnosed, they start convincing themselves that they have those symptoms. So they essentially make it up. They conform to fit the diagnostic criteria. She said this knowing how scared I am. Knowing how much momentary relief I found when I learned about the different dimensions of ocd. She literally told me that she thought I had ocd (but didn’t tell me when she thought it) before when I told her I think I do. I just don’t understand why she would say that around me. I feel our friendship dissolving, and I don’t have the energy to try and save it.

So I realized I had OCD last month and started treatment right away. I have some of my close friends. All have a proven track record of being trustworthy. I've told some people more than others. However, I haven't told any of my family members. Last night, my mom stopped by and we chatted for like 2 hours. I ended up telling her about my OCD and a little about my journey with ERP. I know her intentions are good. I know she loves me and wants the best for me. But she just doesn't get when it comes to mental health. I told her how this whole thing started after I listened to a podcast about OCD while I was working. Instead of saying something like "Wow. That's amazing that you heard that." She was like "You really shouldn't listening to something like that when you are working. I'm still working from home and most of the time, my job doesn't require any direct customer interaction. I sometimes make a few calls. Also, when I listened to that podcast, I had no idea it would hot me as hard as it did. OCD wasn't even on my radar. She also made the comment "I think everyone is a little OCD." My first thought was "No, they aren't." So the whole thing left me a bit frustrated. So I think I might give her a book to read. Part of me is glad I told her, and part of me really regrets it. I also told her some of my timer intrusive thoughts. Anyone else relate?

Does anyone have any tips for me who keeps losing his appetite due to fear of getting food poisoning or food contamination.

I had a really intimate and romantic moment with someone 😊. I kept getting intrusive thoughts during it but I did self ERP and I pushed on 😊 only problem is that I didn’t get a very strong groinal (but a groinal nonetheless) and it’s making me feel like I didn’t like her in that way... but I loved being with her 😊

I regret some of the illegal things that I saw online when I first got my phone when I was 13. I have a vague memory of seeing something horrific in a Kik group chat, it was cp. even just typing it out absolutely disgusts me. Although I was just a child myself I feel so awful about seeing it, at the time I didn’t even understand what I was watching. Many years later my mind is now twisting what happened telling me things like I’m a pedo and that I liked it..that I’m sick and should have known what I was watching and closed the app. I don’t remember how old the girl even looked but I think she was probably my age or abouts, that’s what confused me. I regret seeing it I want to rip my eyes out of my head. This is really difficult to open up about so please be considerate I don’t know how to begin to forgive myself and move on, or even if I should forgive my younger self makes me feel like I deserve to die

i just can’t stand living in uncertainty about what i’m going to be in the future i don’t want to be lesbian because it’s not who i am or want to be but i’m scared that i’ll end up with a girl in the future

I been thinking about my POCD and I will never have kids. I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend so he can have a girlfriend who isn’t sure she isn’t a p word or not. I just look at kids and I have guilt that I have these disgusting thoughts. I want him to be happy and be with someone who isnt mentally ill and doesn’t have thoughts about assault or children. I’m scared to tell him because it’s almost his birthday and I don’t want to ruin that for him. I feel like being alone forever. It sucks bc before this I knew I wanted to be with him forever and have kids but now I can’t even have that. And I’m unsure if I want to be with him at all. It’s just so hard

Does anyone have spiritual ocd dealing with blasphemous thoughts as a Christian

On my call with my therapist today we did some exposures to my soocd and during the exposure I was fine. Now hours later I feel like I’ve been ruminating all day just thinking about the exposure and trying to figure out my sexuality

Supplements? Any supplements that people take and find help a bit? Tell me about them 😃

Anyone else have emetophobia? I’m trying to not google too much, I’ve dealt with having this fear for many many years but something I just read said it’s hard to treat. And this is my first shot of trying to treat it (it goes along with OCD) and I’m just worried I won’t get over this and I so badly want this to be a thing of the past for me. I moreso just want to know if anyone else can relate.

Has anyone ever switched from Zoloft to Lexapro? My doctor wants me to switch and I’m scared to death about the transition period because I’m scared to get worse. I’m on 100mg of Zoloft right now and they want me to break them in half for the next week while i take the Lexapro, and then stop the Zoloft after a week of breaking them in half. Does anyone have experience with this? Did Lexapro help your OCD and intrusive thoughts? Was the transition difficult? I’ll be ok for a year and then half a 2 week long episode of constant panic attacks and intrusive thoughts and depression. Im praying the Lexapro will prevent future episodes

What’s it cheating ocd? Is it thought of that you want too cheat?

my thoughts feel so real and genuine, like i really want them, yet it barely stirs up any reaction: i don't feel anxious about me feeling like i like them. is that normal? does it happen in ocd? why don't i feel anxious? i am not looking for reassurance, just actual information. like can i feel like i like the thoughts and feel no anxiety? it used to make me super nauseous but now i ignore them and ignore the feelings and it makes me feel more in denial. sometimes i get these "visions" in the future of me falling in love with kids (and girls) and it feels like that would happen and it doesn't make me anxious or stressed

Hello everyone 😀. I hope you're doing well. Actually I am not sure if I have OCD. I just have compulsions and doing those compulsions take alot of my time and energy. I don't have obsessions. I am quite confused if I really have OCD or not. But my compulsions are unwanted and are slowly eating my from the inside. I have no thoughts or reasons for my compulsions, it's just like have to do a certain things repeatedly until I feel relieved for a short period of time. But if I don't do my compulsions then I have severe anxiety and I even experience panic attacks. Please tell me what is my disorder. I can't understand why do I have compulsions without any obsession. These obsessions make me want to kill myself. I am a 18 years old boy and I have been dealing with this problem since I was 16. Please help me🙏🙏. I am in severe distress. I ain't doing this to gain sympathy or for attention. I do not know what is happening with me and I am scared about it. I want to kill my self because of my compulsions. I thank all of you in advance for all the help🙏🙏💖💖

Anyone here play any video games, tabletops, etc? Tell me what you nerd out about. I'll start, I love old school SNES games (i'm 31, grew up around the SNES, Amiga, etc), especially old JRPG's like Chrono Trigger. The story and gameplay will always have me stoked. What about you?

Okay so I have a bad habit of imagining scenarios and gauging my responses to them to see what I like and I just saw a picture of Megan Fox like touching tongues with her boyfriend and I tried to imagine that I was doing it with her and I felt so many groinal responses and now I don’t know what to do. I am panicking slightly. I don’t want to just label it a groinal response because what if it was real arousal? Like I’m scared that I’m just in denial by labelling it a groinal response, brushing it off as a groinal response seems like something someone gay in denial would do. I’m so ANGRY, why can’t I just know who I am

I think I focus on my partners flaws way too much. The things that never use to bug me are bugging me now…. I hate it… I am having a hard time believing my feelings are there…. I’ve been even asking myself do I feel love for my mom? Or anyone else just to see if my depression is the cause of this… 😢 I am mentally tired… I just want my life to be happy again…. But it feels like it won’t… Breaking up is all I have been thinking about… I know if I wanted to I would’ve done it. But why is that not a sign I love him…..