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I just came across a news article and it said a mom pushed her baby off a counter on purpose and it was caught on tape. It was disturbing to see fr and it’s making me panic because I babysit a lot, what if I did that to my nieces or what if I would do that to my nieces 💔 I hate OCD so much.

I downloaded this app yesterday hoping to find a bit of comfort among other people struggling with the same things. I’m really scared to post but I’m trying anyway. I have two really bad intrusive thoughts that make my life very difficult. One is this intrusive memory of when I was dog sitting when I 14. I was impatient so I pulled on the dogs leash (as his owner said I could tug on it and he would come). But he didn’t move and think I pulled way too hard and I’ve been wracked with guilt. This was 5 years ago and it still haunts me. I can hear the dog coughing and I think it was from me pulling too hard. About 6 months later he passed away and I fear greatly that something i did caused it even though he was old. In my head I wonder if I’m a truly evil person to hurt something smaller and less powerful than me. I didnt intend to hurt him but I worry I hurt him more than I know. It haunts me. I go over and over the memory in my head with seeing which parts are really, wondering if I’m evil. I also deal with POCD. I am in college currently but I feel like I’ve aged ten years since the onset of my symptoms. It’s taken my joy and innocence from me. I just want to live a good life and be a good person but my brain is malfunctioning. In addition I am frustrated bc my psychiatrist did not diagnose me with OCD but said all my symptom were due to GAD even though I meet all of the requirements including cycles of intrusive thoughts and compulsions( though mine are mostly mental). It’s difficult not having an official name for what I going through.

i haven’t been diganosed yet with anxiety or OCD yet but i’ve been having anxiety started in december having chest pains and it made me think i was having a heart attack or heart issues but last week i was talking to my cousin how he went through depersonalization/derealzation i didn’t know what it was until he told me about it because i experienced it but ever since last week on tuesday i’ve been having overthinking issues about being scared of death and having intrusive thoughts of “what if i hurt myself” when i don’t wanna do it and it scares me because i don’t wanna go through it and i’ve been really tired and exhausted because i just feel like i’m trapped with my anxiety and i never had this feeling before (i’ve been through a lot so this is why it could be happening randomly now) but my things i struggle with is my thoughts and constantly look stuff up. my dad says “oh ur having anxiety while ur overthinking the anxiety” and i always think i’m going insane or if this is even real. i was suppose to go to the doctor today my mom emailed a therapist and told her that she has to pay at the desk and i was so upset because i wanna get better eventually and get a therapist but i have to wait until next week i think to see if i can go to the doctor and see what they say and see what else they diganose me with. it’s just been so tough rn and school has been stressing me out a long with it and i’m so tired i just feel like it’s an everyday thing now and i feel like i’m going insane when people say “oh ur okay and ur not insane” then why do i not feel okay??

Hello everyone, I just started going to the university psychologist and she told me she is going to test me about having anxiety and stuff but I haven’t told her that I think I may have ocd and that I want her to tell me if the possibility is real and that I have ocd or not. I didn’t tell her because it was my first session and I don’t trust her enough for me to open and really talk about what is happening to me The issue is that, everyday I think i do better but then my mind thinks/ says/ makes me feel like something happened and I just didn’t realize, but the feeling is there On my session I met her and she met me, and at one point I told her that I have intrusive thoughts and the feeling that I have hurt people without realizing, but not remembering it, not feeling it, and she told me that intrusive thoughts are intrusive! Opposite to who I am, and that I shouldn’t be worrying about accidentally hurting people when I know deep inside I didn’t, and that if they get mad for nothing is their problem, not mine The issue is that, idk if someone else struggles with this but my real/false memories are not about “not remembering having told horrible things to your best friend two years ago” are about, “physically having hurt someone two seconds ago when I stretched my hand, even though I didn’t feel the hitting, I asked them if I got them hit and they said no, and that is impossible to my hand to reach the person because there is two meters of difference between us” Or maybe, another situation to example my fear Let’s say that someone is on the corner of a room. I enter the room and sit in the other opposite corner of the room, while I sit a vivid image of me traveling to the other corner of the room and slapping the person pops in my head and now I’m convinced that I hit the person even though I don’t remember standing up from the chair, walking to the corner and slapping the person, there is just the mental image and the feeling that I did it that convinces me that I did that and now I’m ashamed to the person I supposedly hit and I can’t look them into their eyes Idk if I explained myself (English is not my maternal language) but I really, really don’t know if someone is having the same “intrusive false memories” that are immediately and that makes you have 0 trust in your senses

Why can't I get better? I've been suffering with harm OCD for 3 years now and feel that it must be something other than obsessive compulsive disorder. I cannot think stop thinking about harm and everything triggers me. I'm a mom to two beautiful boys but I'm starting to do avoiding of triggering situations like changing and bath. I was doing so well for a couple months and now since I've started erp therapy two weeks ago things have just been so crazy in my mind. I meditate, I pray, I try so hard to build my home to be happy and healthy but I just feel sick and broken hearted.

Hello, I was doing well lately and did not post anything for a while, I have harm OCD and today I had really strong urges to harm my co-worker, who is really nice person. I don’t know what to do, when i am telling this to my therapist, she is just telling me u know u don’t harm anyone, u are kind person and that is not enough for my anxiety, any advice who is dealing with harm OCD?

How do you get rid of intrusive thoughts? I feel sick to my stomach and very scared and disgusting feel like the only way out is to kill myself but I can’t do that I can’t go through this again. I keep praying but I just want it to go away

Every single time I am dealing with a flare up the mornings are the worst. By the evening I am ok and think I conquered my OCD. Then here we go again all over again. WTH! I find it hard especially having Harm OCD because I am the first one to get up and my Husband and Daughter are sleeping at their most vulnerable state. I feel Frozen, I pant, my heart races and my stomach is doing roller coasters. Anyone in the same boat? any tips and what worked for you?

Another night of waking up at 5am with intrusive thoughts & fears. Fears of someone breaking into my house and harming me, fear of house fires and being unable to get my mom & cats out, being overwhelmed with “all the things I need to do” the next day. Obsessing to check the downstairs camera. It’s exhausting and causes me lack of sleep. And then I’m unable to sleep for hours after I wake up sometimes.. and my cat will wake me up in the morning. It’s driving me crazy. 😞😞😞😞 I also need all of my blankets perfectly aligned or I can’t sleep, make my bed every single day bc of it, cannot sleep with pants on or tight clothing. Etc. list goes on…

Starting a new job, and have to look for a new place to live. Feel like my anxiety is out of control. Afraid im going to lose control or sleep walk which I don’t do. Scared. Involves hard ocd I hate this.

I had the worse OCD, like I can't even function nor move without breaking down and I can say that I've done a lot of self-harm. I experience all kinds/types of OCD and it was torturing. Then, I got this one-eyed rescue cat; I thought I rescued her, turns out she was the one rescuing me. A year after I got her, I got another cat (this time, a deaf one). They made my life worth living, seeing them makes me happy. I still experience some episodes and sometimes I regress but it wasn't as hard as before. Since the both of them have special needs, they are a bit more handful than the "normal" cats but doing tasks for them (e.g. preparing food, cleaning up, taking them to the vet regularly, bathing, grooming, and such other things) made my life meaningful! Maybe if you can get a pet, I suggest you get one! Adopting/Rescuing might help you and the animal you are getting. Have a blessed night! (or morning)

I’m wondering if anyone could please give me some advice/tips on breaking this cycle? I have had OCD for 12+ years, however I have only recently been officially diagnosed. I’m struggling significantly with harm OCD, involving thoughts/urges of harm towards other people, particularly my loved ones. This is incredibly distressing to me, as I don’t want to harm anyone and it is constantly sending me into severe distress and panic attacks. I understand that I need to lean into the discomfort/accept my thoughts to move forwards, rather than pushing it away as this adds fuel to the fire - but every time I do, I have a panic attack. My mind constantly tells me I have to act on the urge to get relief and that it’s the ‘only way’ out/to feel better.. I’m stuck in this habitual/learnt behaviour cycle, as I’ve always acted on my urges (not involving harming others) for the past 13 years to get temporary relief and to neutralise thoughts - Every time I think that I need to act on the urge or as though I’ll snap and act on it, I feel terrified and scared, then feel very distressed or have a panic attack.

I keep having horrible nightmares of me doing terrible things to people. Like being a sexual deviant or something and it scares me and makes me feel bad about myself. Is this normal?

i’m sorry for posting a lot but i’m relapsing again and it’s hitting hard this time. It feels so real the thoughts feel like they are becoming mine and I thought i was doing better but no Im not because im suffering again. I feel like this time i can’t ignore them if i do they will be my thoughts. i will become who i fear becoming. i don’t want to die but i don’t want to live like this. i’ve never been more suicidal then when this last ocd relapse hit. this is the 3rd month im going through this theme and it’s relentless and painful and attacks every.little.thing. i doubt everything. i’m sorry for posting so much but. i’m afraid i can’t keep on moving. my heart is tired and beat up and broken and my mind is against me so how can I trust it? idk i don’t want this. it feels so real.

Recently my anxiety has been bad because it gets worse when I'm at college. All I can think about is death and "what if this happens to me" and it's hard for me to picture myself in the future because I just feel like something is going to happen to me. Then the topic of suicide will pop in my head even though I don't want to die but it just makes me uncomfortable thinking about it and freaks me out. I've been telling myself " what if in my sleep I unconsciously harm myself" this sounds so crazy but genuinely gives me anxiety.

Exposures feel like I’m doing something morally wrong.

Now i know i need to accept when i feel anxiety or fear, ive been avoiding it or pushing it away.l, cause im afraid ir will take me and to be honest i cant really deal with fear. I noticed when i feel it a I say its okay, im feeling this but theres no danger and by this i pushing it away. But when theres is signs of an aczual danger i ho crazy. I try to push away the fear but it says that "there is a sign, we are in danger, are you crazy?" Ane i keep spinning. I heard alot about accepting thatbwe feel anxiety or fear but thats always makes me accept that theres a danger. Cause im accepting what i feeling but then my mind wants to know if theres a danger and im spinning over that, then i feel like i need to avoid it cause i cant handle... or if i say theres might be a danger or there is i go crazy... then i start to have the selfharm automative thoughts and in the panic i cant see that its ocd, im trying to say it but i feel like im lying, then everything feels true... i cant accept that i feel anxiety but its not a danger but even this you can see i start to rumminate over "okay i feel this but is there a problem? Yeah is see this this is a problem, im avoiding, i have to do something about it quickly, then i try to stop to not act based of fear but i feel bad cause im avoiding. I cant see the reality when i feel panic or afraid, even trying to see reality becomes compulsive. What im dealing with now is that i get hit by anxiety, i accept it and i get a feeling that but theres no fear and i get hit by this toxic good feeling like i avoided a danger and i dont like it cause that feeds the fear

About 2 years ago when my daughter was younger she would get scared at night sometimes and come sleep with me. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy!” So I briefly woke up and said “sorry mama” and moved over and fell back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I thought nothing of it at first figuring I probably just rolled over on her but then my ocd kicked in making me believe I must have done something horrible to her and it has bothered me so badly ever since. While I know people without ocd wouldn’t think anything of it, I have been questioning myself and feeling so depressed ever since. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

sometimes when I read all these posts I just start crying 😭😭 I hate that we are all suffering like this… ocd is not for the weak and its so frustrating 😭 Im really tired honestly… my ocd has its good and bad days but im just exhausted by all of it. I cant enjoy simple things because my ocd has to overcomplicate every little thing and create these “signs” as to what I am and what I am not. Ive had ocd for over a year now im a just upset 😭😭😭 I dont want to live like this forever… I have a lot of people who say, “you can talk to me if you want” and its really sweet 💓 but I dont think anyone can understand what I am feeling because even I cant… I dont know what im doing- how im feeling- who I am- or even what my values are 😭 ocd just makes me question everything. I am a 14 year old girl 😭😭😭 how am I supposed to know what to do? Ive talked mom about my ocd a few times and she tries to help but she doesn’t even understand 1/5th of what I go through daily. I appreciate her caring even if its a little but I just want some help 😭😭 I am a bit scared of therapy though. But im willing to try but im not sure if my mom will let me… Ocd just makes me feel so unlovable. I hate it.

Okay so I have deal with harm ocd for like month now, but for like 3 weeks when I first started I was scared and depressed because of my thoughts, and there were thoughts about hurting my family to the point were there not alive anymore and I would cry and pray constantly because I was scared I will act on my thoughts, but now that a month has passed, I still get those thoughts but this time I’m not scared anymore. Like yeah I just get little scared that I will act of these thoughts, but not as bad. I feel like I don’t have any more empathy, or like emotions. Like I feel like I’m becoming an evil person because I don’t feel scared about the thoughts anymore. And it kind of worry me because if I don’t feel anything will I most likely act of my thoughts ????????? I need help. What do I do ? Is this normal?