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Since last night my Harm OCD flared up really bad and I'm still dealing with it today😞If anyone is able to talk please let me know

I’m looking for my harm/suicidal ocd people here to shed some light and hope. I’m not asking for reassurance (I know we can’t do that with OCD) but just people who can share their experiences and what has worked for them in dealing with and overcoming this awful theme. Thanks in advance.

I’ve suddenly developed these obsessive thoughts not even 2 days ago. “What if I’m a pedophile” “what if I want to harm children” I’ve been researching a lot seeing the differences, I can’t sleep or eat because it’s keeping me up. I’ve never had thoughts like these, I’ve never had/don’t have intentions of harming a child or anything like that. But I still have an irrational fear and I don’t know what to do. I just want this to be over and to have reassurance that I’m not and that I’m a normal person but I know that if I do It’s just going to get worst. I’ve never even had thoughts like these before but I question if I did in the past and I didn’t remember. I don’t have access to therapy either I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t think I’ll get better. I want it to be like how it was before being normal and living my life without this.

My false memory is of me assaulting another human and to make it worse it has a real detail being a towel radiator. I tried to guess what I would’ve been leaning on if I was standing in a specific place in a room I went in yearsss ago and I kinda just guessed a towel radiator and to my shock looking back at the old pictures I got it right…I don’t remember assaulting anyone though? It’s scaring me as yes the towel radiator was there but I do not recall harming another human it’s sooo against my nature even drunk. So now my ocd is using that towel radiator against me saying my whole false memory must be real as it has a real detail? I know it’s probably laughable to some people but my whole life is being ruined right now by a radiator. I’ve spoken to a therapist who kept saying she didn’t really understand what it’s got to do with the false memory. My family and partner keep assuring me I would never do that and to just move on. So why can’t I move on?! Anyone dealt with anything remotely similar?

For my job I had to get hired and apply to this company to get paid and I started the paperwork and thought I was doing it right but then I got busy and kind of forgot about it and they sent me so many emails that I would dismiss because I figured they were just reminding me to finish the rest but I didn’t read far enough where it said I had to get it done within 2-7 days so then my account got deactivated and I had to call their support line and the man was so mean to me and told me I was an unreliable worker even though I’ve been working this whole time and I’m always the first one to cover a shift when needed and even go to work when I’m sick and it just made me so upset. I know I was in the wrong but I have never seen someone be so rude to a person they do not even know. I’m an absolute mess. I was so mad that this led me to say something I didn’t mean which were along the lines of “I want to kill that guy I’m so mad” which obviously I didn’t mean at all, I was just really upset but now I think my ocd is latching to that statement bc I feel so guilty and I feel so bad for even saying it out loud. Is this normal? Was this ocd? I’m just so confused and depressed at this point. I feel like everything in my life right now is just spiraling emotion wise.

I always get images of things that I severely don’t want to have. It gets better as the day goes on but I feel that whenever I make mistakes or there’s an accident (for instance my fingers accidentally grazed a students “area” when I was trying to get my pen) make me feel insanely guilty and that I want to hurt myself to compensate. For that instance I told my boss right away and she didn’t make it a big deal because it was such a swift and accidental occurrence, but that moment kept/keeps replaying in my head and I feel like a monster. Also, when I let a student use my phone to look at a picture for reference (art project) there was a search I made about birth control and how to know when to take a pregnancy test. I didn’t think much of it because I have absolutely nothing bad in my phone, but now I feel like I might be some groomer or monster. I definitely should go back to therapy but I just want to see if anybody had similar experiences/fears.

I used to be terrified of driving. I’d get a pit in my stomach telling me I would die or cause a terrible accident. It was very visual. Almost close to panic/or sometimes even panicking. And normally connected to my husband dying. With ERP, I learned to do it anyway and I learned to tap into the motivation to drive (see family, be independent). I live in a city where I normally take public transport but this week I was visiting a place where I had to drive. This week, I drove without my “safe person” in an unfamiliar place on huge highways and I was absolutely fine. I was bored, yes. I was annoyed at times, yes. But by the end of my trip here, I realized driving can actually even be pleasant. I absolutely prefer public transport for a whole host of reasons but I know I can drive even while feeling uncomfortable. The intrusive visual images and pit in the stomach feelings almost feel like old memories than present day intrusive thoughts. Is that the point of ERP? To get comfortable with these intrusions to the point that they don’t bother us? Don’t get me wrong, I have another trip coming up where I will be doing a lot of driving and ocd has latched onto that. But it’s less intense. I’m more comfortable with those feelings of anxiety. I can recognize that the images my brain gives me are just images, not reality. I can choose the narrative.

IDK WHY I HAVE THIS FEAR and even if i know that this is not logic im still scared that im a psyhopath like omg im so scared how do i get over this im so scared this fesr hase been here for 2 months does anyone have advice?

Why must my OCD always make up the scariest scenarios to torment me with. Some guy was hitting on me on reddit and the convo didn't get far before I just blocked him but now my OCD is like 'he's gonna be mad and DOX YOU/STALK YOU' huh??? how did we get here?? now I wanna compulsively delete my account .. These new meds better kick in fast T-T

I don't know what to do or how to stop this : ( if anyone has advice please, please let me know! It's happening to me that whenever I watch/read TV at night, get into an argument with a loved one, or haven't talked to them for a while I start to have intrusive thoughts/images that they're gonna get fatally hurt. For example, about seven months ago I had a car accident. I don't think I was left necessarily traumatized, but rather every time I have (the previously mentioned) intrusive thoughts I begin to reimagine my loved ones in that same (or similar) situations... and no matter how much I try to NOT acknowledge them...they often lead me to having anxiety or panic attacks. The only way that I seem to be able to stop these intrusive thoughts is by sleeping it off… but then that leaves to lack of productivity throughout the day and affects my life… I try my best to not give in into compulsions…especially because I also have dermatillomania so I KNOW that if I DO give in…it’ll end up bad. I’ve tried writing things down to see if it helps to calm me down. Although that did work for a while, I’ve started to feel/think that if I write my thoughts down they’ll increase possibility of actually happening :( so I’ve stopped doing that for a while now. I don’t know what to do anymore!

I have a really weird question. I don't know if I have OCD however I feel like I am having intrusive thoughts because of porn so I try and stop watching it but I can't even go 7 days without it. Forms of OCD are POCD and SO OCD, in the past back in high school I might have had harmful OCD, I was afraid of hurting girlfriends and friends I had and because of those thoughts, I pushed them away and made them hate me on purpose.

I have really bad self harm urges that honestly consume and debilitate me, does anyone else have this and have you found a solution to it? I don’t know if medication helps. If more therapy helps. Let me know if you have been through this and have found a solution. I would love to get back to normal life

Guys im so embarassed. And OCD makes it so much worse because it's giving me chronic guilt. I was at work and I made a joke about unaliving myself with a friend like really loud and I feel really guilty because it just kinda came out. My friends were laughing but I realize by some ppls reactions that mightve not been appropriate. I wasn't serious but I do make those jokes often with friends (unfortunate habit I've picked up due to my own s*icidality). My guilt is killing me and I have a strong urge to apologize to my coworkers. Should I or is it a compulsion and I should just leave it alone??

Heyy guys, question out of the blue… is being scared of becoming depressed a thing? And therefor su*c*dal? Like I had su*c*dal ocd but it comes and goes but today I’m sick so I had to stay at home in bed and I just feel very tired ans my brain automatically linked that to depression… is preventing depression a thing? My OCD is manifesting in a lot of ways nowayds its sooo strange

How do you guys cope with taboo thoughts and not feel guilty especially when it attacks the people you love so much and you know a million percent that isn’t you. So why is this happening to me I’ve been through so much in my life and I can’t do with this. When I was younger I was molested and rape and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone so why does my mind do this to me please be kind as I don’t know how much longer I can take this

Hi team here is my two cents on OCD. I never post on this kinda stuff and on sites but I think it’s right to here. I’m in my 20s and 6 months ago woke up and had OCD and didn’t know a thing about it before. I regard myself as lucky that I found out what was going on so quickly. I know what it is like to both have and not have OCD having not had it for pretty much all my life. I have very good days and weeks of managing OCD to the point where it doesn’t exist but I’m writing this at a point where it’s been a bad OCD day. And that is ok. There will be bad days of it and I can live with that. What I don’t do is tell myself that tomorrow will be better because it might not be. If you tell yourself tomorrow will be better, it will be worse because that is a reassurance compulsion and you’re trying to find certainty that you do not need. I see a lot on here about “anyone else going through this?” And people answer back saying “you’re a beautiful person and your thoughts aren’t true don’t worry I’ve been through this”. That’s AMAZING that there is a big community who support each other and I LOVE it, but that won’t help you in fact, that only makes things worse for you. I could sit here and type about how none of your thoughts are true and that might help for 5 minutes until you just start doubting again. The thing that has helped me the most is accepting the fact that, whatever your theme is, it COULD happen. Nobody knows what the future holds and you have to accept the fact that anything is possible. You COULD get sick from that bannister on the subway, you MIGHT be a bad person, it’s POSSIBLE that you did do or will do that horrible thing you’ve been thinking about. Anything is possible. What keeps you trapped is trying to keep thoughts out of your mind or telling yourself that things won’t happen because, at the end of the day, anything is possible. Here is a list of some responses I use to thoughts that by the way, would make someone who didn’t have OCD and understand think I was a complete nutter so it really doesn’t matter what the thought is I promise you: “Well that could happen I guess” “We shouldn’t rule that out” “Big whoop cheers for that thought” “Nice one” “Is that the best you can do? Pretty weak effort tbh” By committing to using these responses you train your brain that whatever you’re thinking about is not actually a threat. OCD will say anything to stick around. It will tell endless lies to try and keep you trapped. It will change theme. False thoughts, feelings, emotions there are no gloves when it comes to OCD. It will do anything to try and stay. Whatever comes into your head does not matter. Whatever subtype, OCD IS OCD and theme is irrelevant. I write this all in the context that what I’m thinking about, MIGHT be true and this could all be a cover up for the bad person within. But that is the only way to beat it. To accept that anything is possible. Funnily enough, the more you don’t react to thoughts and use the responses above, the more the brain doesn’t wanna bring it up as often, and eventually, at all. Thoughts do not matter it’s your reaction (compulsion) that is what is keeping you trapped and what is giving thoughts meaning. I know it can feel impossible sometimes (“but I can’t live with the fact that this might be true, I need to know it’s not!!!”). You absolutely can live with the fact that anything is possible. This treatment does work. You are not the exception, you are the rule. Again I’ve written this whole thing accepting the fact that my thoughts could come true and might happen. And I can absolutely live with that fact. Even on a bad OCD day and there will be those, always remember to use a “big whoop…” attitude to what comes into your head. The more you don’t care, the better you will feel.

I know a lot of guidance tells us to live for and move toward our values, no matter how scary OCD is. But does anyone else struggle with this when they are really having a hard time? Like it almost feels like you can’t do it in the moment because the thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming? I have harm ocd and it certainly is difficult. Mainly because it feels like I can’t (which is probably my ocd tricking me).

Is ERP or CBT more helpful with moral based OCD? Sometimes I struggle to find ways of exposure with my theme and it can be very triggering. Wondering is CBT is really the more helpful type of action. Also any CBT book recommendations would be helpful. Thanks.

The worst is when ocd latches on to your children. I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about my daughter that have me so depressed. I know none of it is true but the ocd really tries to convince me that it is. Any other parents experience this??

Hi! I’m new here. I have OCD but nothing to the extent that my young daughter does. I’m struggling so bad to watch her go through this and see the distress and panic in her face when she can’t seem to stop the compulsions or quiet her head. I feel like so many different types of OCD might be easier to battle with ERP. She has many different types but the one that’s hitting her the hardest and I’m struggling to find ways to help her with is the fact that her brain is telling her that if she doesn’t do this and do that and touch this this many times etc etc etc then someone (usually me) is going to die. She won’t say this out loud either because she’s afraid of speaking it into existence. How do you do an exposure for something like that? It has to be so hard when you think someone you love might die because you don’t touch something a certain way. I’d love to find someone on here who has ever experienced the same thing. Does this type of OCD have a name?