- Date posted
- 1y
From health OCD TO HARM OCD For a year I was running to the ER for ANYTHING and now I feel like i kinda want to die 𤣠Like WHERE IS ME?
- Trigger warning
- "Pure" OCD
- Suicidal OCD
- Harm OCD
- Health Concern OCD
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From health OCD TO HARM OCD For a year I was running to the ER for ANYTHING and now I feel like i kinda want to die 𤣠Like WHERE IS ME?
anyone else have this? Itās like every sound I hear when Iām home alone i worry itās in my head. I often feel like i see something out if the corner of my eye moving and it isnāt keep in mind my peripheral vision is messed up from astigmatism so itās most likely that.
Does being on my period or having upcoming menstrual symptoms worsen my OCD symptoms? Is it because of the added pain, or the added chemicals in my body? Anyone else experience this?
Has anyone overcame this theme? Or been thought this theme? I have a fear of schizo and now Iām just constantly scanning to see if I hear things. Itās so bad I constantly pay attention to every single noise and can hear everything now because of this theme. Iām constantly scanning and even my inner voice/ imagination has scared me because I think āwhat if this is schizoā Iām so scared of everything due to this theme
One of my themes is HIV fears, and I was just at Walmart picking out a shirt from the rack that they have them all folded up on. I was reaching for one from the bottom shelf and my hand brushed against the underside of the shelf above and they're was a sharp part that cut open my thumb. I panicked and took a picture of underneath and it was just the shelf was sharp where it looked welded but it made me bleed a lot and now I'm freaked out thinking it could have a disease
OCD Journey Stories
Promoted
Everyone I knew with anxiety seemed to be so different from me. I have never just had anxiety out of nowhere. There is always a specific fear behind it, no matter how irrational.
By Erika
Read my Health and Contamination OCD story āIāve been diagnosed with ocd. I first started off with harm ocd.when I got over it, it started switching into new themes. Every week Iād have to deal with a new thought/fear. And now i feel like im stuck again! Im not sure what type of ocd im going through right now. But im scared of hallucinating. Im scared of hearing things that arenāt there. So that caused me to be hyper aware of every sound I hear. And I now focus on white noises so much ( like AC, fridge, water pipes, the tv when itās far away etc.) and I start to question my sister: can you hear that ? Because Iām super scared the Iām hallucinating. But usually sheāll answer with yes she can hear it. But Iāve been struggling with something else too. I sleep with the AC on and Iāve been doing for years. But during the past month that caused me so much stress and anxiety. Because I feel like whenever the AC is on I hear other things (not people talk or words or specific things) just unclear sounds. And Iām not sure if thatās in my head or itās actually there but because the AC sound loud I canāt recognize the other sounds im hearing. And I get so anxious when I try to sleep because everything is so quiet and itās just me and the AC on. So I feel like everything is loud. And I donāt know if the unclear sounds are in my head or real. And yesterday when I tried to sleep a police car went by and the siren of it was loud too. I focused on the sound. And questioned if itās real or not. Then I started hearing the siren non stop for 3 minutes probably. Even though Iām sure the police car went by. So I was scared and terrified that I was hallucinating. And now Iām just scared that what if Iām not hyper aware ocd. What if Iām schizophrenic. What if Iām going crazy. Iām so scared. And Iām worrying that this will happen again if I go to sleep tonight. Someone help me please and give me advice!
I spend a lot of time ruminating about my health and how I'm going to get past all of the thoughts I think of and the events that I think of in the past. It leaves me really nauseous randomly throughout my days. Anyone else get this from their OCD? It makes me worry more about my health
Hi all, this technically isnāt OCD related although I believe my OCD and hyper fixation on it is making it worse. I just know this community has been supportive in the past. I was able to get past my harm thoughts and urges OCD which made life hell a year and a half ago. I thought that was impossible, but I did it and feel like that is behind me. Although thoughts still come into my mind, I manage so much better. Recently, after a painful ear irrigation to clean ear wax I got stuck because I had a bad habit of sticking my finger in there to clean it out. Ever since then, Iāve had a feeling of fullness in that ear and now tinnitus which has just gotten worse and is in the other ear now. Multiple tones, like 8 or so. Iām also getting noise distortions and canāt mask my tinnitus very well because it seems to get louder with a lot of other noises. My life feels like a living hell, I miss my old hearing and the worst part of this is that I feel like itās all my fault. Maybe thatās my OCD wanting to go back in time and not completely ruin my life. I donāt know how to go forward, and it doesnāt seem to get better, only worse. Feeling suicidal. By comparison, OCD felt easy. Thoughts I realized are controllable. This canāt be controlled though and I hate it. I donāt see a way out of this at this point unless I start seeing improvements. Any support helps.
Iāve been struggling a lot lately with health anxiety and obsessing over every little thing thinking I have something wrong with me. Iāve been googling symptoms and now Iām scared I have cancer, a brain tumor, or brain aneurysm. How do I stop doing this to myself? š
Iāve had OCD for a year now. At the beginning I didnāt have much anxiety, just a lot of intrusive thoughts, time passed, now I still do have intrusive thoughts but I have more depersonalization in a way I never heard of before & I need to know if itās part of OCD or who else is going through this: I no longer feel real, like if my life is shown of a VR play, itās not hard to remember past memories but definitely donāt feel like Iāve lived them, my brain feels so full in a weird uncomfortable way; like just how your physical body gets dirty with dirt, I feel that way but ofc on my brain. If I feel a tiny bit angry or feel any emotion by just a little, it extends so much more out of no where, overall I feel SO fake, I forgot what normal feels like, my pills wonāt work currently waiting for my therapy, like I want to know who else is going through this please! go ahead & write how you feel also, I just donāt wanna be alone in this .. itās completely out of my control now.
Hi everybody I have a quick question. I have been dating for a while and unfortunately we had to break up because of all the fights and troubles. We also had really really nice moments and I am pretty sad it didn't work out. Mostly had something to do with me boyfriends past. I have always been an overthinker, had lots of anxiety and stress etc. But last year was really bad sometimes. Now my question is; I am so scared due to all the stress (alternating with really good moment) causing cancer. Stress was always just 1 or 2 days, so not months on end. But I know stress decreaseds your immunsystem and therefore can cause cancer. I am not looking for reassurance regarding if stress does or does not cause cancer. But what I wanted to know is: is it my fault when eventually I do get cancer due to the stress? It was really a mix of things and the breakup was nobody's fault but it feels so annoying that now I don't have a boyfriend anymore and maybe I get cancer from all the stress... so I am beating myself up for not ending it sooner. There was no physical fight or anything, it just didn't work out and we both know this is for the best. Still I am mad at myself for all the stress I caused myself
I was in the bathroom and I noticed a big blister like bump down there and now I'm just more worried than I already have been about my health for months now. It just came up there out of nowhere and all I've been trying to do is keep myself clean ever since my impulsive behavior from my addiction. I'm really worried and I don't know what's going on. Now I have a hideous bump there and never in my life have I ever had something like this.
Iām new to all this and just wanted to post what Iāve been going through. After experiencing hallucinations from sleep deprivation, an overwhelming fear of possibility developing schizophrenia has become like.. a theme for me? I also have visual snow/bad vision so lately, I guess a compulsion I have been doing is double checking if Iām seeing stuff or hearing voices, but itās nothing. Iām just stressing about a sound of an ac, for example, yāknow? Another one is checking my heart constantly in fear of a stroke/heart attack. Any body sensation or muscle twitch makes me spiral so bad. Itās gotten to a point where if I laugh or get up from my bed, or do something that requires physical movement, I stop to check my heart and panic if itās fast. This all has just been so distressing for me and I have a lot more things that I think and worry about obsessively. Itās the constant what ifs that are so debilitating.
Hi, I have never posted on a forum before because Iām scared someone will come back and say āitās not OCDā. Anyway, I have always had obsessional thoughts. Always obsessed about my health and if I was going to die. I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldnāt leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (2months) and we are moving in together in 2 weeks. I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ālikeā donāt even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway⦠I said I didnāt want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. Iām now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. I have also just started therapy. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesnāt think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying āwhat if you love this other guyā what if the reason you canāt get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a signā āwhat if everyone told you not to go there, then whatā the thoughts are endless and honestly, I canāt stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like Iām mentally cheating or what if Iām denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang Iām consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I canāt cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasnāt our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying āoh see, what if itās the same situation with this guy a workā I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!! oh and my head says āwhat if you go to therapy and discover your true desires and it turns out that it isnāt ocdā
No matter how much I know it doesn't help me I can't help but do them. I can't help but try my best to find an answer and I never do. I just want to find an answer to something I impulsively acted upon one day and hope I'm not going to die because of it soon. My health OCD always tells me that. I hate what my addiction turned into and I hate that I've had so much trouble to stop it for good. I'm still trying to this day but I'm still worried about the smallest things about my health. I can't help but Google forums about sexual health because of how much I've watched porn and acted on it and how it's affected my physical health besides mental health. I spent so many times searching on Quora what an answer could be and there were times where I thought I found an answer that I can sit with. But then I end up worrying and thinking all over again and just repeat the cycle. What I hate so much about searching on Quora is getting related questions from underaged people. I always try to scroll past them quickly and not read them because they're too disturbing and they trigger me. I just can't seem to find an answer that will help me. And groinals make this so much worse for me because I don't intend to read this stuff for arousal, I just want to stop worrying about my sexual health. I want to get checked for this but I'm afraid that others will know and I don't want them to know. Eventually I came across someone talking about an answer to a question and for some stupid reason someone decided to post a nude under their answer and it just triggered me heavily. I stopped searching for an answer afterward but I just hate how my actions have led up to this. I just that I've been struggling with this for so long and I hate that I'm probably gonna end up doing this all over again.
As the title suggests, my OCD acts up whenever bodily fluids are involved, including my own. š It has caused me difficulties in my relationship. My partner is perfectly content with the pace we are at regarding intimacy and is incredibly patient with me; however, I can react at even the slightest idea of getting ācontaminatedā with, say, my partnerās fluids. ā¹ļø Early in our relationship, even when we were hugging fully clothed, I worried about contamination (and also magically āgetting pregnantāā ļø) because our bodies were touching at the crotch area. Iām doing better now, but Iāve been unable to engage in certain acts because of it. My partner is not asking for anythingāin fact, he is perfectly content waiting until marriage! Iām more so asking for my sake. I just know that when the time DOES arrive that we both want to get more intimateāeven if that means just removing more clothing,āI know I will be terrified of getting contaminated. Today, for example, while kissing, I accidentally bit his lip and tasted blood. INSTANTLY the mood was destroyed and I couldnāt function properly. I felt so much guilt for being this disturbed because itās my PARTNER, of all people, but I began worrying about STDs. Does anyone have any tips? My OCD mainly fixates on pregnancy and STDs here.
Does anyone else make themselves feel physically sick when theyāre anxious? Itās like Iām making myself sick with reoccurring thoughts of worry. If you do, how do you make yourself feel better in those moments..?
I definitely have an infection on my hand due to washing my hands so much they dried out and opened.. and now two of them on my hand are pretty painful, no pus they look like the want to heal but canāt, theyāre reddish/purple though.. I just went to the hospital the day before yesterday for something different but now I feel like I have to worry about this too.. Iām trying really hard to fight my compulsion but when I do touch something dirty I have to wash my hands.. idk.. will Neosporin fight infection in my hand? Itās not necessarily growing but I donāt know if it can kill the infection either.. pls would like some advice.
Idk if this is OCD but I can't stop using qtips/ cleaning my ears. I get ear infections quite a bit so I clean my ears every day. This prevents and causes ear infections. I can't stand the feeling of wax in my ears so if there is any new wax I scratch. This causes infections. To prevent scratching I clean them which works for awhile until it causes an infection. It's never ending. I have no idea how to stop the cycle. My family says it's not OCD, it's just sensory issues because I'm autistic. I don't want to be saying I have OCD when I don't and make someone upset. I put trigger warning because I have no idea if this post will upset someone. I'm super new to this.
Y'all what's your exposure or any helpful advice for not using Google as a reassurance? I'm horrible with it! I'm hypervengilant. If I get a ache or pain especially chest area, it's automatic heart attack and I'm googling. I know it makes it worse. Especially since anything typed into Google with the word pain and chest automatically comes up heart related. Yet I keep doing it š¤¦āāļø my husband offered to take my phone when I try to do it, but I don't feel like that will work because it'll be on my mind and I won't be able to function.
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