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Does anyone experience physical confidence issues that might be related to OCD?

so i wanted to come on here and tell you all about a break through i’ve had. i’ve been in therapy for ocd for 8 months now and i can say and confirm and it has truly changed my life. im still growing and healing, i still get thoughts, i still get my obsessions. but i can resist and ignore compulsions now. as i heal ive noticed the thoughts more, gotten nervous they might mean something. it makes you feel crazy and like your whole journey was a lie and that these have been thoughts all along that are true. i’ve been in an 8 month long relationship since january and with my ocd it has not been easy. many times i felt like i should give up because even though i love my partner, i can’t be with anyone unless im completely healed. but something in me always made me stay. i come back now in august with those same thoughts and i worried that this might that it’s the end or that he truth has come. however something stuck out to me after i read up on the matter more and gained insight. something i learned and will now always instill is that love should be freedom, and feel freeing. freeing to be you, freeing to grow. i realized quickly that ive been free to grow and explore. but ive been holding myself back. not out just of fear but of not realizing that i am my own liferaft. i hadnt begun to step into my true unblocked energy, one that knows and trusts what i need and knows that the universe, god, whatever is above will always align me in places at the right time. this of course, is a balance and not one that needs to be taken immensely serious. in fact we should be taking life less seriously. i say all this to let you all know and instill that as we step into our confidence and trust and instill the outward energy inward. rather than worrying on if they’re right for you, or if you are in the right relationship, or if you feel disconnected or lacking of connection. connect back with yourself first, you be able to understand and see that the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams with career, self, relationships and more truly lies within you. it’s uncomfortable, it’s hard and it makes us scared to loose the situations that don’t serve us. but once you connect back with the energy and trust you have for yourself, you truly begin to realize you can let people in, everyone including partners are people YOU let in your life and are simply people with other lives that you need not connect to yours in the sense of making personal decisions or dictating your mood. people don’t speak enough on what it means to heal after ocd symptoms go down. you realize it’s about getting through the thoughts to get to the root and do that inward work. it’s still something im working towards. do something you love, go for a walk, read a book, it’s uncomfortable because we’re so used to be preoccupied that when we step back into ourselves we feel like we don’t know ourselves and it’s ocd that tries to take over once again. trust in yourself, your own decision and what you want, feed your mind, and understand we’re all doing this for the first time, but you can handle because you are your liferaft, your safety and you security and peace. i promise it’s life changing. reach out if you need someone to talk to you will get through it💌💗

i had pocd when i was 11. somehow i did not realize an eleven year old cannot be a pedophile. i couldn't go to church, school, public in general. anywhere with kids. i had days where i would just spend hours crying. i thought i deserved to be executed or something. every time i see people with pocd i want to talk about my experiences, but i get terrified someone will see me saying i had it and misinterpret it. i read a story about a man in an ocd support group with pocd being shunned because people thought his thoughts were true. it was very hard for me to even post about it, out of fear someone will see it and know who i am. i was 11. 11 and i wanted to die. i'm far past it now and i want to be a mother. but it's like a shadow that follows me everywhere.

Hey! I'm a lesbian and have been identifying as such for about 5 years now. I feel completely comfortable with that identity and it has become a huge part of how I see myself as a person. I'm still in the closet and hence lie all the time about my sexual orientation and it has gotten me wondering if I wasn't faking it all for attention. I've always been okay with my identity and suddenly I'm not sure about anything anymore. I get distressing thoughts about sexual intercourse with men and repeatedly check whether or not I am sexually attracted to them (on social medias, in the street...). Since I'm also on the ace spectrum, all the comments about "meeting the right person" are fueling my inner monologue because what if that person was a male after all? I feel like I'm losing my sense of self and it's terrifying because I genuinely can't tell whether I'm in denial or not 😭. Anyone going through something similar?

Im new to this community but i am relieved that I've found a place to openly talk about what I've been going through. Last year i felt like i was in a good place with my mental health and then i got an eviction notice and i went into a spiral. Since then ny depression is constant, i have so many random pains in my body and i /constantly/ have the urge to rip into my skin. I'm not sure when it started or how it got so severe but I've had to move in with family to avoid being alone at home and hurting myself. It got to the point where i wanted to cut into my wrists and not just little cuts but deeply and the urge comes on almost every second of the day; i have to scratch them excessively just to feel the slightest relief. I feel so uncomfortable in my body, it's triggered by my dysphoria, my fear of contamination, and now it's just the automatic response to when i feel the slightest but uncomfortable or anxious. It would be interesting to know if anyone else experiences something similar and how they cope? Have you told anyone you cam trust?

Hello yall! So… I keep looking through my girlfriend’s phone. We have been together for almost 2 years. However, she was with someone else for a year. She says it was super toxic, but my OCD doesn’t let it go. I have worked so hard to stop looking through her phone. When we first got together, I started looking a ton. More than once a week trying to catch her in a lie, but all it did was end up in fights. I haven’t looked at her phone in months, probably around 4 months. I literally avoid to take her phone near me. Unfortunately, it got the best of me. I was watching my nephew & I didn’t have my phone anywhere. My gf gave me hers, to turn on our TV so he can fall asleep. But after turning on the television, I couldn’t help myself. I’m so angry, mad, embarrassed, guilty. However, my intrusive thoughts are going wild & I feel a compulsion coming on. What do yall recommend? Should I tell her? I don’t want her to leave me, I know she will not, but I’m scared it’s gonna be a final straw for her & our relationship.

How do you handle it if there’s actually a chance you did something wrong? I have bad real event/false memory, though I don’t know how many are actually false memories. Anyway, when I was 19, I had a flirty relationship with someone who was 17. We kinda did this on and off for a while and we used to text a lot. I know at a few different points, we had a sexual relationship and it often came out through text, but I can’t remember when we did certain things. I don’t know if I broke the law or something and because this is such a serious matter, I feel like I’m dying inside. I don’t know what to do, there’s no proof of it because it was a few years ago now and even if there was I don’t think I’d go back and look which makes me feel like I’m a terrible person. What if I did something awful? Can someone give me some advice? I’ve been doing really well the past few days but then this came up and knocked me off my feet. It feels like there’s a real possibility I did something and I’m so terrified.

I’m having a really rough morning. I woke up around 2 am and since then (it’s 10 now) it’s been one obsession after another. I’ve been doing compulsions but now I’m trying to sit in the discomfort. I wanted to talk about one of the themes though. I feel I can do this because it doesn’t make me anxious to think about not doing it, so I don’t think it’s a compulsion for me. I’m thinking about being on social media and wondering if I ever talked to somebody, followed somebody, allowed somebody to follow me, etc., that was underage, or even 18, 19, 20. I have incredibly bad POCD. I’m 23 now and have no interest having any sort of romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship with anyone under 21, but I worry about little things I end up doing not being okay, and I worry about crossing a line. But being on social media, I’m bound to come across people who are basically children. If it’s apparent to me someone’s young, I try to avoid it, but there’s no way I can possibly always know that. I also didn’t keep track when I was younger so seeing a video from a 15/16 year old when I was 20 didn’t phase me, but I feel like it should’ve. There’s only so much I can do to avoid this. I can put an age limit in my bio, private my accounts, try to clear out anybody I suspect is underage or just everybody I don’t know and who doesn’t have an age in their bio, but it seems easier to just avoid social media all together. This seems logical, I don’t want to communicate with minors or anyone under 21 that I don’t know. But I wonder what people that are famous on tiktok or YouTube do. I don’t think they think they’re pedophiles, but I seriously feel like one and I feel like no matter what, I’m gonna do something wrong with kids in my life. It’s wrong to look at them, think of them, talk about them. I feel disgusting and I’m really suffering. And I think some of this is an overreaction and just OCD but then I’ll see something online that reinforces some of what my brain is telling me and I wanna throw up. I understand a lot of what people say is crossing a line and I would never want to do that, but something feels off and I can’t find balance and I’m terrified.

It's gonna be my birthday tomorrow. My friends will have a sleepover round my house and I'm excited. At the same time, I feel that it's also triggering my fears. For these past few years, I had a fear of not enjoying the moment (ESPECIALLY in hangouts, vacations, big events etc), so I would constantly do emotional checking, perfect my thoughts or ruminate about it. I'm getting better at managing it, but I've also been having intrusive thoughts of me not valuing my friends enough. What if I spend too much time fixating on the person I'm attached to? And then my birthday will be ruined etc But the thing that's been bothering me the most is that can't control my strong attachment one of my friends (lets call them Mango). Why am I attached, you ask? We've planned to live together in the future. Because of my low self-esteem issues, I was attached because they also have a massive crush on me. Lets bear in mind that I'm also crave romance. For ages, I've had intrusive thoughts that secretly I'm a selfish, manipulative person. Many people say I'm so loving and nice, but I used to have so much doubts. So for example, I was scared that I manipulated them to like me because im self-aware of my attachment issues. I'd be scared to talk to Mango because I feared that I'd lead them on, then my mind pictures them killing themselves because what if I traumatise them 20 years from now because i've had "secret selfish motives". I'd analyse my thoughts constantly. Would I use them? Am I a good person? Am i having the right motives? Do I actually want to live with them or am I lying to myself? Do I genuinely love them (as a friend) or do I secretly dislike them? Have I been lying this whole time? Are they the one? If I'm feeling this anxious, then surely this isn't right. I'm making the wrong decisions arent i? What do I do? What's true and what's not? I keep ruminating. I also feel compulsed to make sure I text and interact with them right, with correct feelings and thoughts or else our relationship will "hit rock bottom". If they don't reply fast enough, or in the right way, it triggers me too. Whenever they say something sweet and genuine, my initial feelings was comfort and being flustered (in a good way). But then I recall those words, trying to analyse if I still feel the same like how I did initially. As time nears my birthday, the intrusive thoughts of them are making me increasingly anxious. I know I have to accept uncertainty. I just hate this feeling. I never feel certain enough. I'm scared to text them. I'm scared of what each feeling ir thought I have could possibly mean. Maybe they dont mean anything. I just hate how my brain keeps picturing me and Mango's friendship ending horribly in the end because of me. Sure, it's all probably made up in my head. Maybe my fears have no link to reality, but I just wish this would stop. I wish I could get help too. I dont know if I actually have OCD, but the things I've experienced really resonated with what others have experienced. What I've typed here are just some of the examples. Say, if i do have ROCD, this would make sense. Being bi with possible SOOCD isnt helping either. Constantly trying to analyse whether my identity is true is exhausting too. All of this is exhausting. I'm so stressed.

Hi! Does anyone else find it hard to accept that you have ocd? I think it’s the most difficult part.

i feel anxious, i feel change. i feel like i don’t know. im being honest with myself. i love my girlfriend but i don’t know if i can give her what she needs when i feel like this and rocd. i don’t know if she’s the one for me sometimes. i feel good when im with her and i feel calm, not too much on edge, not too much on guard. i feel afraid of giving this my all, because i worry that i will want to leave eventually for real. bc im in my 20s and change imminent. i hate seeing these things on social media about how “i left this person because i knew that they weren’t right even though they were amazing to me” it scares me that maybe i know deep down the truth, that really triggered me today on tiktok. on top of it i just moved apartments, and that made me super stressed and burnt out. i really appreciate my girlfriend, we’ve been through a lot together. it’s no secret that my feelings for her have ebbed and flowed; it’s why it makes me anxious, it’s why it makes me feel guilty, it’s why im worried on if this is right. should i feel more secure and immensely and deeply emotionally connected in a way i was before. i don’t believe love is a certain way, i think everyone experiences it differently. for me i know that i feel light, and warm and action, a burst of excitement and a sense of peace and happiness. i question my happiness out of fear that maybe im not happy and that my gut is telling me something with rocd since my symptoms have lowered. i have to be true to myself, i want to grow and be happy, i want to come into myself with security. i need to learn to let go of these past obsessions and comparisons. i keep comparing my feelings in the back of my mind for my girlfriend to my last relationship. even though it was hell and full of limerence, i still felt like a weird sense of peace that i don’t experience all the time with her, though it was giving anxious attachment. but i feel like accessing that same sense of peace is broken now because of how my trust was broken traumatically before in my last relationship. i want to be able to give myself to my partner. but i feel guilty that i don’t know if i will end up with her or marry her even tho im only 21. my mind completely goes to this plan for the future and an age of when ill get married and the rest of life, and then it makes me feel like i dont want that but i feel like i have to stick to a plan. i dont want to do that i want to make my own choices and know myself. i’m feeling like i know i can be more present with myself and i know i must let go of any future ideas in order to find out what to do with my life. these thoughts make me question and fantasize scenarios. they make me almost feel regret starting this relationship bc of how i thought about it beforehand and how i think how it could be easier for me to be single because i wouldn’t be thinking like this all the time. i don’t know if people in love think that way. truthfully i don’t regret any of this, my anxiety and mind have created a perspective that this relationship has only been stressful and not enjoyable at all. but i know that’s not true. i don’t want to break up with my girlfriend, genuinely. i know that i would be miserable and so regretful. it would feel like a weight off me because of my anxiety and ocd, but i know i would simply be thinking about her still and how much i wished it worked out, or how in love i am with her, or how my life would suck without her, etc etc. but something needs to change in order for me to keep moving forward in this relationship. maybe it’s reframing my own life and myself. i create these plans and get successful quick schemes so that i can know what would or could happen and that all my aspirations would be met. but that just gives me anxiety because it makes me feel like i wouldn’t be happy with THAT LMAO. i want to change and let go of that and live presently. i feel it’s the only way through this. but i need advice and some guidance. does anyone have any advice? thank you for reading

the way my ocd works is anything in my room is automatically mine and NEEDS to be clean, if another person steps foot in my room everything in there is automatically not clean and I feel the need to throw everything away. On the rare occasion I feel okay enough to let someone in, they can't touch anything. Today I had my dad come in to show me how to install some shelfs for my legislation, and for some reason he decided to put the not yet clean shelf on a pile of unfolded laundry despite the fact I told him less than 5 min ago to not, I have a HUGE room, so much floor space, so many within arms reach places. I instantly started panicking and crying since now I feel the need to throw all my clothes away and he started screaming at me, saying he didn't want to play into this childish fantasy anymore. As well as threatening to touch everything in my room and mocking doing so I know it's not a reaction I cant control, but I really do wonder if I have ocd or if I'm just a really weird freak. Have I been lying to myself this while time? Did the doctors lie to me? I feel so... immature for acting so badly to it, but it genuinely makes me want to rip my own eyes out. Why doesn't he understand it? Is that my fault too? I feel so lost and misunderstood and alone. I don't know what to do.

Hello everyone. I recently discovered that I am bisexual and I've had a lot on my mind lately. One of my biggest worries would be if my parents found out. I come from a Christian household. Growing up Christian, I've never really discussed my sexuality until recently with my best friend who is also bi, as well as my therapist. I do at some point want to have that conversation but I need to get over the fear to an extent. Any tips?

I’m at a point where I think I can do this but I need help. My primary OCD subtype is ROCD. My girlfriend is wonderful, endlessly supportive of me (I’m Trans and just figuring that out and she’s been so good about it as well as still being with me after I went to the mental hospital) and easily the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve recently had the discovery of what my OCD cycle is (that being that literally whatever I think of her the intrusive thought is the opposite and then the compulsion is to think the opposite of that and it goes into a spiral). This has made me realize that me saying I love her or that I don’t love her are both intrusive thoughts in their own specific contexts. I love her very deeply and that’s why I’m asking for help. Those of us who also suffer from ROCD, for intrusive thoughts about breaking up with her, as that is a major one that I can’t seem to shake, what is your ERP for that? As supportive as she is I don’t want to like mime out the scenario with her as that just feels wrong, so what are things you guys do to combat these feelings? I know that OCD is “the Doubting Disease”, so usually if I doubt something positive in my life I know it’s OCD. So please, if you’ve had similar thoughts to mine, tell me how you handle it. Most of my ERP has been for my more minor obsessions like symmetry or even numbers, we haven’t tackled ROCD much. My therapist is also learning about OCD with me but he has helped me a lot and honestly I owe the man the sanctity of my family but that’s a whole other story. I’ll stop rambling. Hit me with your stories!

After a huge death at a relatively young age, followed by many years of cheating and emotional abuse almost directly after, I’ve been plagued with retroactive jealousy (I just found out this is a thing but it is sadly me to a complete T) and fears that partner is going to die. The retroactive jealousy is mostly me acting out compulsions that have slowly become a daily thing over the last two years. I’ve been checking my partners exes instagram and multiple of their social medias every day. Usually as soon as I wake up. I can’t help but see what they’re doing. It doesnt help that they’re so much like me but not. I can’t help but see them as better. Again, it’s been going on for almost two years now and I was wondering if anyone has any good advice on how to stop caring or to switch my mindset? I’ve tried to be open with my partner but I don’t think they understand how much I’m comparing myself and how much it’s effecting me. It makes me not even want to get up and do stuff for myself. On the other end with the thoughts of death, I want to stay with my partner but I always get so scared they will pass away sooner than later, or that I will once we start our lives together. If I don’t text them goodnight or “get home safe” or check their locations when they’re going home then I’ll have horrible anxiety and feel like something bad will happen. It’s also starting to affect my day to day. I know I’m asking for advice on very huge subjects but I appreciate anything! Thank you so much for reading. This is my first time using this app so I hope I’m using this correctly !

I'm having a hard day with my OCD, which is weird because I was doing alright this morning. a new theme hit me. I realized I have my mom's habit of reacting with annoyance when asked for or about things. My brother asked me to stay in the kitchen with him while he made food (I have to watch him use the stove so he doesn't hurt himself and I usually babysit since my parents work). I got annoyed and told him fine and just to give me a second because I was laying down and I was really tired. I feel bad, I tend to do this sometimes. I don't even mean it, it just happens, especially because of my mental health making me exhausted and anxious all the time. I don't know what effect this could have on my brothers and I don't want them to grow up traumatized or something because of me. Especially because I think my mom doing it to me growing up might be why I'm so afraid to tell her things without feeling like a burden. I'm hating myself hard today. I feel like I deserve the bad mental health I have and that my brothers will grow up hating me. I'm struggling to focus on anything else.

Recently I've been experiencing intense and intrusive thoughts about how time is constantly passing, and one day I will be old and frail. Like, OCD is trying to convince me that my whole life will pass me by and it'll be like one day I wake up and suddenly I'm old and on the verge of death. With this has come fear of what comes after death. I just want to enjoy life now, without these thoughts plaguing me. It's like I'm stuck living in the past and future rather than what's right in front of me. And it makes me so sick thinking about how one day I won't have my mom, or my dad, or my grandparents. It's not that this is foreign to me, it's just that my OCD latched onto it and now it just keeps playing in my head. It's so hard to live in the moment. Im thinking it was exasperated by the fact that my families dog died recently; she was so endlessly loved by all of us. It's been several weeks and I haven't been back to my mom's house since then. Not to mention I'm also moving states in a month. I am so stressed, and scared, and I feel like this feeling will never end, even though I know it will. Can anyone else relate? Or have any advice for getting through this theme? TL;DR: I've had really bad existential ocd lately based on mortality and the afterlife. Has anyone else experienced this?

how do I know the difference between having having a low sex drive versus being asexual? I saw a video about how someone found out they were asexual because they were sad or crying after/during sex. I have cried after sex with my boyfriend sometimes and I often do experience sadness/anxiety many times but I believed that maybe aftercare needs to be prioritized more and that maybe my ocd/anxiety/depression puts me in a state of low libido a lot. There are times where I begin to space out during sex or begin to have uncomfortable thoughts, and then there are times where I enjoy it in every way possible. I also believe that because me and my boyfriend are going through the process of healing betrayal and trust in our relationship that that could be a big factor as well. all of these things add up as reasons for just having a low sex drive. I've also always said that i think i could be in a relationship where i didn't have sex often if at all and I think id be okay because it isnt a priority to me. But seeing that video really made me suddenly question it and it scared me a little because I have questioned if I really know sexual attraction vs. aesthetic attraction and now I just feel scared and confused. This could change so much for my relationship and I'm just scared that the answer is something I don't want it to be. could someone please help or leave some insights?

Currently still struggling with feeling hopeless and anxious and sleeping, I have been sleeping the past days at four in the morning and it’s really been taking a toll on me. I just feel so hopeless due to insurance issues with NOCD , I no longer have a therapist at the moment but I’m trying my best to find another therapist that’ll accept my insurance, but with Medi-Cal it’s really hard , And the stage and point I’m in at my life currently it was the worst time to be let go and not have much help. I know I have my tools and skills, but it’s different having that one you know, someone understand what I mean, I’ve just been having really poor mental health, and in the night I have been having a really poor sleep and it’s really affecting me because I struggle going to sleep and getting up in the morning, just wondering if anyone is able to help me make a sleeping schedule , Or any encouraging words to keep going anything would be appreciated. I really truly don’t mean to burden anyone on here thank you so much

Been feeling kind of hopeless and bored unfortunately I had issues with my insurance and no longer will be able to continue with NOCD at the moment , it’s been really hard on me to be honest I haven’t gotten out of bed much and I feel really tired of everything, but I’m wondering if anyone would either want to have a convo or chat in the comments or if anyone has some kind words of encouragement I’ve just been in a really dark place lately thank you ((:💓