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the NOCD Community

Hey, so my therapist missed our session yesterday and isn't answering any of my messages, could she be in holidays and forgot to tell me, or do you think I should contact someone in case something happened?

Can anyone share any success stories from doing ERP therapy and anything else that may have helped you? I understand now that I've probably had OCD most of my life, but getting started and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel are two completely different things. I really want to recover from this. Mine stems mostly from real events, but I have other themes as well.

Hello , I’m diagnosed with OCD as well as ADD and anxiety and short term memory issues . It’s so much sometimes, I don’t even like going out in public because being around people gives me me anxiety, if I see something out of place wherever I go I have to fix it because it will bother me . I never pick the first thing g from the shelves at the grocery store I will literally reach for the third one from the back . Sometimes I feel crazy and no one understands me . Just want to feel like everyone else .

i was extremely scared today, a bunch of little kids were around me and i was scared to be near anyone because i would do something horrible. i feel like a terrible person that no one would want to be around. i don’t deserve this support, i just want to be rid of these terrible disgusting thoughts.

I experience OCD in what feels like cycles. I have a couple of good days or weeks and then something out of the blue will trigger a flare up. I’m just wondering if anyone else goes through the same thing or if it’s kind of a constant state for you.

i keep getting thoughts of molesting/ doing sexual things to people (that i’m close to) and children, every-time this happens I extremely disturbed and have panic attacks bc i’m a horrible person. i’m honestly just contemplating just k*lling myself because i feel like a disgusting p3do who doesn’t deserve anything in life. i’m already diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i’m not sure if this is OCD or not. i hate my self so much- this thoughts won’t stop happening and i never want to do anything like that ever. :/. i’m not sure what to do, i’ve talked to my therapist but none of her methods worked on how to stop these thoughts.

Its currently 6:53am, woke up around 6:00am in a panic from a nightmare and I can’t fall back asleep. I have contamination ocd and emetophobia. At night i have a hard time falling asleep because every time ive gotten sick its been in the middle of the night while im sleeping. Before bed i usually get bad anxiety its going to happen again, even if theres no reason for it to happen. This obviously can trigger dreams about it, which then make me feel worse. Through out the day Ill overly manage my eating habits (no chicken certain days etc), take certain routes home to avoid getting sick, wash my hands when i can *feel* the germs on them, do certain tasks so it doesn’t make me sick etc. Its really getting to a point where i feel like its consuming me , and I need help but I am so scared to get it.

Hello does anyone struggle to go to sleep at night? feels like my mind is awake all night and wake up exhausted.

I have them constantly. About my loved ones leaving me forever.. and it will hit me when I least expect it, and it’s like a an emotional truck just hit me! I have tried everything my therapist has suggested and these thoughts keep coming. Does anyone have any suggestions on what they do? I have methods when they occur.. but I want methods to keep them away. Thanks.

I feel alone. I don’t know. I just feel alone. Why does everything feel off vibes right now? I just feel icky and I feel I’ve hurt people in some way. What can I do to stop feeling this way

From this app, I got reported for asking for reassurance. Sorry guys. That wasn’t great. I will try to do better for self care

As a disclaimer, I'm still very new to understanding everything here. Also, please be nice, I've seen some rude comments on other posts. I guess my question is, has anyone here had a problem with cats before? My OCD started (or started to show strongly) around the time my BF and I moved in together, about 2yrs ago. I know there are likely a LOT of other contributing factors to the onset, but the one I've found most prevalent in my... flare ups?... is his cat. I'm allergic and haven't spent much time around cats which plays a part in it I'm sure, the cat also isn't the most socialized and has a high prey drive (I can't wear my hair down or he'll try to attack it). My biggest issue nowadays however is that he will jump on countertops and tables, will try to drink out of our cups, and the fur is EVERYWHERE. It triggers me SO much I've cried about it, and will even shut myself in the bedroom for days just to avoid thinking about it (our bedroom is a cat-free zone). The thing is, everywhere I look online it seems like cats are these amazing and clean creatures. Even some of the helpline sites I've browsed through will villainize anyone who has an issue with cats cleanliness, saying that dogs are the ones to worry about. I've had dogs my whole life and even have a career working with them, and they've never been as triggering as this cat is? I feel like some evil person for hating this cat and being disgusted by the cleanliness aspect of it, but every time he jumps on the counter I feel sick. Any cup I see him try to drink out of, I don't use ever again (even if it's been washed). I feel like it's tainted so much of my household, and I'm becoming a shut-in because of it. (And yes- we've tried spray bottles and offering other outlets for him etc). Does anyone else have an issue with cats and their cleanliness? Or any pets in general? Do you have tips on how I can work through this? It's driving me to a point of wanting to give my BF an ultimatum (me or the cat) because I just can't keep living like this... which btw, I would NEVER do because thats his baby and I wouldn't take my issues out on the cat.

After many years of thinking I might have ocd, it’s official. It is nice to feel seen and to have an answer finally but it’s also really scary, mostly because I’m about to start Prozac and I’ve never taken any mental health medications. Anyone have experiences to share? I’m so scared of the side effects but I know I need to start something. My provider suggested finding a support group as I have no family and friends to support me during this time, right now I’m feeling very scared and alone 😔

Does anyone else obsess about having another panic attack or scan their body constantly for how they feel and if a thought or feeling about a panic attacks comes on, you’re more likely to start to feel panicky?

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

I got diagnosed with ocd recently from my therapist after having years of symptoms since I was a toddler and recently I have had a terrible dream with beastiality in it about 3 months ago and I woke up and cried. I went through the day as usual and then I told one of my friends and I sobbed because that is the last thing I have ever thought about in my life. Luckily my friend was there for me, but then the OCD kicked in. I’ve been having horrible thoughts and I’m scared, I don’t want to do anything to animals never have I ever had thoughts of such. I have two pit bulls that are my sweet babies and I have never had thoughts of anything to do with beastiality in my whole life and now I’m 20 just now being scared of this. It has been the worst ocd obsession I have had in a long time the last one I had lasted 3 years. I’ve been wanting to lock myself in my room and not look at my dogs because I’m afraid to even let them sleep in my room anymore. I stay up all night sometimes because I’m scared I’ll see another dream. My mind is starting to make think I want those thoughts and I’m so scared I’m tearing up whole typing this. I’ve been contemplating suicide because of this fear of doing sexual acts to an animal I would rather not live. I hate living like this and it has been hard to sleep with my partner because now I’m afraid to have intercourse which I have always been able to do with my partner no problem. But now the beastiality OCD has ruined my life and I don’t know what to do.

Hi everyone this is going to be a long introduction. When I was much younger I struggled with debilitating anxiety I worked on myself and took medication and got so much better. Since then I have been living a normal life up until about 6 months ago. I became pregnant with my second child. At 16 weeks pregnant I lost the baby I ended up hemorrhaging being rushed to the hospital having emergency surgery and the entire experience was absolutely horrifying. I thought I was doing so much better until recently when I started experiencing neck issues. I know this sounds extremely weird but I feel like I constantly have to crack or stretch my neck it drove me crazy to the point where I went to a chiropractor and had X-rays done and adjustments. Which made me feel better for a little bit and then it came back. I find myself thinking about how my neck feels and having to be cracked constantly and then I’m on the internet researching how cracking my neck can affect me and a million other things. I have also been experiencing anxiety over it to the point where I took some prescribed Valium to help me get through the day. I am a hypochondriac I have always since I was a little kid been absolutely consumed about dying or having something horrible wrong with my health. I dwell on how scary the thought of having a heart attack or stroke or anything is to the point where I have gone to the hospital for random weird feelings and things I have experienced that were nothing but self inflicted anxiety. I did not think I ever had OCD until very recently since I started researching it. I have noticed a pattern now throughout my life of worrying about everyone I love dying and worrying about me dying and how it will happen and what will happen. I used to tighten my chest repeatedly until it would hurt and I couldn’t get myself to stop until I finally got a hold of myself and stopped. Then I went to every doctor imaginable to make sure I was ok and had a million tests done. Now I’m doing the neck cracking and constantly thinking about my neck. I have talked to my primary doctor and chiropractor who both say it’s a anxiety/ocd manifestation and nothing is wrong with me. I was doing so well until I lost the baby and it stirred this all up for me. I’m desperately reaching out for help at this point. I want to travel and be happy and enjoy the one life I have to live. Instead I’m a prisoner in my own mind and body and I can’t enjoy anything because I can’t get out of my own mind and fears long enough to enjoy the moments I’m in. I also have a beautiful amazing 3 year old daughter that keeps me going and I want to be the best version of myself for her. Thank you for listening to my rant I look forward to hearing experiences and meeting other people out there like me. Sometimes it just helps to know your not alone. I find myself watching the people around me and saying see look at them they are so happy nothing is wrong with them. Nobody else experiences what I am going through.

I’m not sure if anyone else goes through this or if it’s normal for PPOCD. But when my ocd flares up , it makes me feel less attached to my baby and gives me a ton of anxiety. I also feel like my ocd jumps to a lot of different themes. Will PPOCD last forever ?

I’m always waiting for the next horrible event to happen, and it’s sapping the joy out of my good days. I’m just waiting for the next time the house needs a major repair, or I’m waiting for the next family member to die horribly (even though no one is sick right now). I’m waiting for the next time my relationship takes a dive due to miscommunication. I’m preventing myself from making art my career because I’m convinced I’ll just mess it up, or I’m convinced no one would pay actual money for something I’ve made. I won’t go back to school because I’m convinced I’ll fail again, or worse, I’ll be too focused on myself to take care of my family. I’m so sure that everyone I’m close with in my life secretly hates me, and I know it’s the OCD but some days I’m just waiting for them to tell me I’m right, or I’m waiting for them to all leave me. I know I’ve felt joy, love, and acceptance at one point in my life, but those warm feelings don’t reach my heart when I’m stuck waiting for the next moment life kicks the chair out from under me.

I struggle with information and memory hoarding if that’s a thing. I very excessively buy books, I save interesting bits of information I come across online, I take an excessive amount of photos and screenshots and have tons of articles and info saved in a huge Google drive. I have many journals and logs. I back up things to multiple places, I save multiple versions of files I am working on, I record long notes after meetings, Doctors appointments and phone calls. I keep photos of all sorts of keepsake and nostalgia types items. I feel like I need to constantly archive all sorts of info. It takes up so much time and I have no sense of what’s actually important to keep, so I keep most things. Has anyone experienced this as an OCD theme? I don’t see much written about this anywhere. Other than books and journals, I don’t seem to hoard any other physical objects, but I have endless collections of digital content and files of all kinds. I have a lot of anxiety around losing valuable bits of info. For example,I just got diagnosed with OCD and I have already bought around 15 books on the topic (that I really can’t afford), have watched several documentaries and took notes, saved tons of articles and made playlists of tons of videos all of that I have read or watched over and over but I never feel like I have learned enough. I am not even sure what drives this. I would love to hear any similar experiences as I feel pretty alone in dealing with this.