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In last few days I truly realized how pathetic I am, I need permission of completly random people just to live. I feel like I cant have my own opinion because it has to be wrong, or my opinion is affected by some sort of oppresing minorities. I dont have any kind of self esteem, Im just filled with shame. I dont feel anything more than shame for simply existing, all I want is to be reminded over and over again that Im allowed to be. I found out how much of a perfectionist and control freak I truly am, as well as how did white and black thinking affected me, and spoiler alert, it's the root of all of my problems. I've noticed that I dont feel guilt for my thoughts, I dont feel this emotional type of empathy or remorse, every single one of these feelings is just covered by a thick layer of shame. I dont want to be like this, I cannot keep on living if all I ever feel is shame, all I ever think of is "what would this group of people say about me" "what would they say about me" tho I never ever cared about it before. I think Im in some sort of depressive episode, since it lasts already for about a month, but it was like 5 days ago that it got so bad I have hardships with basic functioning. I also havent been leaving my house in about a month except for going out with trash once, I've lost all of my motivation, I no longer have any kind of future before me. I have an I.T exam today, I did and learnt nothing, I just no longer have a reason for why should I do it, it's all meaningless anyway. Im barely 14 and I feel like Im already a 50 year old man with middle age crisis, at least I still have my special interest, but it's also getting taken away by my ocd. Ocd ruined me and left nothing behind, Im a shell of who I was before this hell started. Now I think Im going to ask my dad about the I.T exam and hope that I'll pass it

Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:

Hello there everybody. I am just posting to ramble about my feelings, and to get some advice from people that might understand. This is going to be talking about a mixture of things between the subcategories mentioned above, including stories about intimacy.. Please do not read forward if that makes you uncomfortable. To make an extremely long story shorter, I am very particular with how I like my dorm room to look. I also have come up with a routine that helps me with the basic things- brushing my teeth, getting my clothes out for the next day, scheduled deep clean and laundry days, etc. even with a jam packed schedule of 3 jobs and 5 classes, this routine always worked for me, even if I had to switch around a laundry day. Usually, I deep clean my room twice a week, and do laundry once or twice a week. This has worked for 3 years already, and this is my 4th year in school. During the 2nd week of school, me and a girl from school started to date. She is the TOTAL opposite of me- she is a really big hoarder (and she gets mad at me when I tell her how it is.) and she is extremely used to living in what she calls “organized chaos.” She pretty much uhaled the situation - she pretty much moved into my dorm. (Mind you, she has SO much stuff in her room, and it’s extremely messy. So she brought things over to my room to “store”.) this naturally made me really.. uncomfortable. Because I got so used to my routine and having my belongings where they were. It really caused me to spiral this semester and I keep trying to bring it up and have a conversation about it, and it feels like she completely disregards my feelings. It’s starting to really mess with me and I’m unsure what to do. As messed up as this sounds, she also has very narsasistic and codependent tendsncies.. it’s usually her way or the highway. I am the opposite. I am independent, but deeply care about those around me and their thoughts and feelings. I feel like I ask her for one thing, and that’s to respect my space, and it feels like it’s shrugged off over a shoulder. Now for a different story. This woman is the person I lost my.. “V card” to, if you will, and we’ve explored lots of situations in bed. During our intimate times, with my permission cause we wanted to experiment, she began to treat me like a “sissy.” (Basically, if you’re not aware, a boy that acts feminine, dresses feminine, etc.) and this sort of started causing my dysphoria to spiral.. but in other instances I really like it? She also would make jokes about how “we’re a lesbian couple.” And those made me spiral as well.. I just want some advice and tips on what to do. I feel.. very stuck right now. Idk what to do. any tips or conversation is greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to read this and allow me to express my feelings.

My mom just admitted to me today that she and my dad always thought I didn't interact with my classmates because I simply didn't want to. Back then, they would yell at me on the daily and tell me I was acting snobbish when I "ignored" my peers (which refers to speaking to them really quietly or sitting away from them). And apparently, I would clam up when my parents asked me why I did what I did. This came up today because I was expressing to her that I wish they had gotten me professional help while I was a child, because it had to have been obvious that something was wrong with me. I had severe social anxiety, and I was deathly afraid of my classmates from the age of 7 up till today (I don't remember life before 7). My social anxiety has severely impacted my life. I am an adult who has never made a single friend. I don't know what it's like to have them. All I know is a profound loneliness in life, and the depression this causes. As a college student, I am faced daily with the fact that I have no one to turn to in good times and bad. Outside of my parents, no one would notice if I disappeared one day. This ties into OCD because it makes me realize that maybe they also never noticed that? Maybe they didn't notice how I would line things up over and over again, how much distress it caused me to be the way that I was. Maybe that's why they just thought I was a perfectionist. Maybe they thought I would do the weird things I did because I was just being a child, and not because I was engaging in rituals fueled by anxiety. Maybe they thought my room was messy or I would leave my clothes on the bed instead of hanging them up because I was just being lazy, and not because I was so obsessed with cleaning it a certain way (it was a mix of "just right" and order and symmetry subtypes - I won't get into the specifics) that I became overwhelmed and paralyzed by it, because cleaning just one object would take me an hour. I guess... I always assumed that people are far more perceptive than they actually are. I thought they noticed and just didn't care. I still don't quite understand it, though. My teachers must have noticed that I was completely shut off from my peers, right? That I was completely socially isolated? Maybe they also thought I was just being snobbish and didn't like my classmates? But of course, part of my social anxiety is that I struggle so much to speak my mind. So I don't know how you can expect a child with what is essentially selective mutism (I believe that's what I had at the time, in addition to social anxiety) to be able to articulate the issue. It's not like I understood it myself. After feeling like an alien for my whole life, I finally looked up my symptoms at the age of 14, and "social anxiety" popped up as a potential diagnosis. It was a profound revelation at the time, although it feels so small in hindsight. After being called shy my whole life, I finally had something telling me that that's not what shyness is, that my problems were legitimate. Didn't help in the end since I still didn't get help even after telling my parents. I must sound so bitter, but's easy to judge when you've had time to grow as a person through interactions with others. But think about it. I wasn't socialized. The only people I have interacted with on a semi-regular basis in life are my immediate family members. I don't even know how one articulates their feeling in a way that would evoke compassion from others, rather than pity (which feels belittling) or scorn. I just wish that someone would care. But no one has an obligation to. If you read this far, thank you.

Yesterday my ex and I had let eachother go for the second time. I’m currently at work right now. My stomach hurts so bad and I just feel this intense amount of guilt. I’m going to try and explain this best as I can so bare with me… 2 weeks ago I was driving home from work and this might not be an “ocd” thing… maybe it’s just a me thing that I have to work on, but anyways on the way home we usually talk and catch up. While I was in the middle of talking and telling her about what happend at work, her sister ended up calling her in the middle of our conversation. So she put me on hold. I have explained to her it kinda bothers me when I have to stop mid convo when someone calls or talks to her. I don’t know why, but I get annoyed and I hate that I get that way. I gotta work on that. It’s also not her fault that she got a call. She can’t plan when people call her or not. I know this sounds so childish and silly, but because I got mad, I had a messed up thought and could feel myself mouthing it. I chose to think negatively in that moment. So after having me on hold, I was so mad at myself that I thought so negatively and immediately felt this guilt. I felt like I couldn’t carry on the conversation after what just happened (me almost saying the instrusive thought.) She asked me “Sorry what were u saying?” I replied with..” uhhh nevermind.” The. She said, “no go on.” I tried to hold myself together and said “can I call u back?” Then she said “what did I do?” I said “nothing.” And then she said …”what’s wrong?” And I just snapped. I don’t know if any of you guys snap and your significant other when u have these “ocd thoughts.” But I made her my punching bag in that moment. I was trying to hang up calmly but she kept asking and the more I felt guilty. We didn’t talk for a couple hours and I became closed off and dry, but apologized. I just needed to get myself together cuz in my head I’m thinking “there’s no coming back from what u almost said.” Ugh but basically she had said that she needed a couple days of space , but couple days turned into almost 2 weeks. As the days went by, I started overthinking and I had a gut feeling it was different this time. I ended up being right. I think she has told me she was initially gonna take a few days, but after talking to her therapist, she said that we don’t have to talk right away and to take time to herself. Lol I was Lowkey annoyed cuz I was like “ohhhh so this was yo therapists idea huh?” We ended up laughing about that. But sum that stuck is that my ex said was…” after this I’m done.” If I’m honest, I’m still kinda thinking about that. I think there’s been a lot that happened during this relationship and I feel like I made her my punching bag and would lash out and would distance myself when I had those messed up thoughts. I tried my best to protect her. But during these couple months I’ve been in therapy, we have been friends. That’s why I said “ex” because it’s complicated, but also because my ocd would flare up and make me second guess and I thought it would be easier to be friends so I wouldn’t second guess anything. I actually liked it because there was no pressure and we got along for a few months. She also had said something about “maybe for right now we just need to figure things out.” Kinda making it seem like we will talk in the future. So I called her out and said, “you just said we were done tho.” I don’t know, apart of me wants to think we’ll talk again. We just need to focus on ourselves and I’ll miss her, but I know for right now, no relationship. I need to get better. I feel like “ocd” ruined my relationship with her and drained her. I’ll admit I am a lot to handle and she really tried her best to make me feel better. I just feel so bad. It’s like everytime I would start to feel sum… another thought would pop up. This is so exhausting. I feel like I don’t deserve her. What do u guys think about this situation and has anyone had similar experience ?

My OCD has me feeling suicidal. I don’t have suicidal OCD (if that’s a thing) but I have lived with OCD my entire life, it’s gotten so bad that it is unbearable. I have just right OCD, and the constant feeling of things needing to “feel right” is eating me up inside. I don’t want to live this way. Even when I try to live with discomfort, I physically cannot. My head will actually hurt until I get things to point of feeling right. It’s to the point where I feel as though my brain chemistry has been altered. When I do follow through with a compulsion, I’ll sometimes have dreams of those obsessions and it’s so scary. I don’t know what to do. I want to live. I want to be happy and healthy. But this OCD is really making that tremendously difficult. I can’t do anything for myself, nor be a support for those around me, and whom I love. I don’t know what to do anymore😞😔💔💔💔

I've been posting and commenting often, and I've developed this weird fear? Like, what if one of my posts or something I've said has made someone uncomfortable, or maybe they didn't agree, and they blocked me or just disliked me in general? It's so silly because this is a place where you should be comfortable to share anything, and there's always going to be people in life who have different opinions than you or maybe even dislike you. I know that, but I'd just hate to make someone upset or uncomfortable. I don't think I have, but... it's just been this reoccurring thought of mine. I'm also afraid of accidentally offering reassurance. I'm sure I have at some point... It began after I made a vulnerable post on here, and I felt self-conscious about it the next day. It's just been nagging me ever since. Has anyone else felt this way after posting or commenting? Just wondering, thank you! 🤍

I've noticed this past year that I sometimes really struggle with emotional shopping. I'm not always sure if it's impulsive or compulsive buying. I'm also grieving the death of my mlm, so I think it's a little bit of both. Sometimes I shop so that I can be around people and not feel alone. I also shop because I love the sensory experience of certain stores. It's fun to look at colorful things, spell the perfume section, hear the soft music, and touch the soft clothes. I like to admire the beauty and craftsmanship of things. I wish there were more museums and galleries where I live, because I think that shopping kind of scratches that itch. What I hate though is when my brain gets a sticky thought and I decided I need a specific item. I'll feel frozen because I want to make the "correct" decision. For example, if I decide I need a pair of nice work shoes or a pair of jeans, my brain obsesses on finding the best pair for the best price. I will not be able to focus on things. My brain gets stuck on "needing" to find the best deal and most optimal item. Sometimes I'll get a sticky thought about an item I genuinely don't need (i.e. a pair of pink sparkley Betsy Johnson heels). If I get one of these sticky thoughts and then buy the unnecessary heels, then I end up making a poor financial decision. Eventhough I want the pink heels or the New Balance Running shoes (a "useful" item) and I technically have enough money to buy them without going into debt, I struggle to have the self control to wait and spread out my purchases. I struggle to find balance. I really hate it. It sucks. It usually happens when my nervous system is feeling all over the place and I don't feel grounded. I struggle with hoarding disorder and I've been trying to be gentle with myself when I get discouraged. I try to thrift and not shop online because I notice that it generally makes me feel happier. It also helps my bank account not suffer as much.

I am in a big group server with my partner. There is another person there who i had a small crush on. I have NEVER interacted with this person in a private or secretive way. We are NOT friends, the most we’ve ever interacted was through group discussions online. We do not have any sort of intimate or close friendship at all. My partner knows about these interactions and has access to every single message in that server. A few weeks ago, this person was talking about how nobody would date anyone with a certain trait that he has. I should note that this person is kind of a big meme in the server and no one takes him seriously. A while later we were having a group discussion about something and I mentioned something about my ex and this trait was brought up (my ex had the same trait as this person). This person commented on this and said he was surprised that I would date someone with that trait and that he was surprised I wasn’t hypocritically telling him he could find someone despite this trait while being unwilling to date people of that trait myself. I said that I was surprised that he thought people wouldn’t date anyone with that trait because I “know plenty of girls who either have done so or explicitly prefer it.” I then began talking about my CURRENT partner and how he was great and how I am very lucky to have him and that my relationship with my ex was toxic (unrelated to his trait). I should note that my partner is part of this server and he knows about this interaction and was fine with it. I TOLD him right away when the interaction happened. When this interaction happened, I remembered feeling really amused because like I said before, this person is kind of known for very outlandish/ridiculous reactions and opinions. I do remember saying this WITH THE INTENTION to get him to react in some way because I knew it would be amusing and I remember sending it to my friend. I want to clarify that my intention was NEVER to flirt with him, imply attraction to him, or make him think he “had a chance” or anything like that. I just knew it would be a funny reaction. I am bothered by the fact that I did this with the intention to elicit a response that amused/excited me. My partner knows of these interactions AND of my attraction to this person but I feel that the fact that he doesn’t know that I was doing them with an intent to get this person’s attention makes it cheating. Even though i always made it very clear i was dating my partner and I NEVER EVER EVER attempted a single romantic or sexual interaction with this person at all. I feel like the fact that I said something with the hope that he would react is cheating. I don’t know what to do. Do I confess? He knows the interaction happened, and he also knows of my small crush on this person, but he doesn’t know that I did the interaction in an attempt to get a reaction from this person.

Hi there - first time poster. I am still in the process of getting diagnosed with OCD but feel I have it or am at least experiencing symptoms. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, and worry a lot about finances, change, the world, if I’m doing ‘enough’. I try to manage this with radical acceptance, mindfulness, coping skills, but I’m realizing some things I thought were healthy and normal are not as healthy or normal as I thought. Like having a bunch of spreadsheets to keep track of things and checking them multiple times a day. I get praised for being super organized but I feel it is a symptom of OCD and/or anxiety, and I’m struggling with coming to terms with things I used to be very proud of actually being potentially harmful. For example, being proud of discipline, motivation to be ‘my best self’ and staying organized, when in reality all of these habits seem based on feeling ashamed of who I am, scared I’ll ‘miss’ something without organization, and feeling I need to be productive and perfect at all times. Anyways, my question is - do others relate in certain ways? What has helped you if you can related?

My partner and I have talked about fantasizing about other people. He told me about his crush at work and that “it’s fun to fantasize sometimes.” I agreed. I told him I fantasized about someone we both know and he said it was fine because it was in my head. However I feel extremely guilty still. I’ve become obsessed with trying to figure out the exact morality of my intentions/thoughts and I’m worried that I NEED to confess the EXACT frequency/intensity to him or else I’m cheating and deceiving him. Is this just OCD or should I really confess? The guilt is pretty strong.

Good Morning everyone ☀️. I’ve been in ERP therapy with NOCD for 2+ years, and I’m sharing my journey for anyone that may feel alone or is considering therapy. I’m in my 30s, and I was diagnosed in 2022, after a talk therapist I was seeing suggested I talk to a psychiatrist to be screened for OCD. Truthfully, I suspected I had OCD for a long time, but I was “managing” it so I didn’t seek help. Then the pandemic hit, and my mental health hit rock bottom. I worked with one talk therapist (who wasn’t helpful), switched to a new one, then ultimately was diagnosed and referred to NOCD. My biggest theme that I struggled with for years was emotional contamination. I could not handle being around a family member, because I was scared their personality or energy would contaminate me, and I would turn in to that person. I avoided allowing them in my apartment, if I thought about them when I was in the bathroom or washing dishes, I felt dirty and had to do compulsions to be “safe.” Spoiler alert, your OCD doesn’t actually keep you safe, even though it feels like it. I also struggled with driving, perfectionism, just right OCD, and intrusive sexual thoughts about a different family member. So, I started weekly therapy sessions, and I struggled a lot during the first year. ERP is hard. You’re essentially re-wiring your brain to change your thought patterns. Confronting years of fears, while also navigating an abusive relationship, took all of the mental energy I had. Then time went on, and I made it through my first year of therapy. I felt a little better. Then, I started going to NOCD support groups. I started to practice self-compassion, I shared my story and heard others share their struggles and wins. I finally started to see, feel, and acknowledge my progress. By year 2, I finally felt stronger. Now, my sessions are down to once a month. I have my conqueror status. My exposures are a lot easier to work through because I did the hard work early on. It feels over simplified, to summarize my journey this way. I could probably talk for hours about ERP. But I want to emphasize how ERP saved my life. As I said, I was having a hard time in the beginning. But now, life is so much better. Taking the first step to reach out to NOCD led me to where I am now, and I am so grateful I chose myself by starting ERP. I can drive long distances on the freeway without panicking. I can drive at night, in the rain. My whole world has opened up because I’m not limited on where I can go. My relationship with the family member I avoided improved greatly. I am sad to say she passed away unexpectedly this summer. But I reclaimed all the time I had with her from my OCD. I can tolerate not being perfect, or doing things that aren’t “just right.” When I have a setback, I bounce back a lot quicker than I have before. I’ll have the most bizarre thoughts, but I can let them go a lot easier than before. I still have struggles. I still cry when I feel overwhelmed or stuck. But overall, my life is mine again. OCD doesn’t go away. But going from giving in to compulsions over and over again, and avoiding living out of fear—to having my life be mine again, is the best gift I gave myself. Do I wish the work was easier? Yes. Would I wish this disorder on anyone? No. But if you are considering therapy, I urge you to take that as a sign that you want to get better. And I promise that whatever your OCD stops you from doing now, you can take it back with a vengeance. If you have questions, I’m happy to share more if it will help you. If you want support, I’m here too.

1. Understand Your Fear: OCD Creates a Habit: Your brain is stuck in a "fear cycle," where you try to avoid fear by checking repeatedly. This, however, increases the fear further. This Fear Is Not Real: It’s just a false signal from your brain. Recognizing this is the first step. --- 2. Steps to Build Confidence in Yourself: (a) Stop Seeking Absolute Certainty: Repeated checking reinforces your fear. You need to intentionally reduce the habit of checking. Practice: Tell yourself, “I have checked it once, and it’s correct. There’s no need to check it repeatedly.” Stop Seeking Assurance: Accept that you don’t need 100% certainty. Not everything needs to be perfect, and that’s okay. (b) Gradually Reduce Checking: If you check 1000 times now, reduce it to 500, then 100, and eventually just once. When you feel the urge to check, stop yourself. Wait for some time (5–10 minutes) before acting on the urge. Gradually increase this waiting period. (c) Learn to Take Risks: Challenge your fear. Say to yourself, “Even if I don’t check, nothing will go wrong.” Trust the fact that you’ve done it correctly, and slowly try to work without checking. --- 3. Practical Ways to Manage Fear: (a) Write It Down and Forget It: Write down what you’ve checked in a notebook. Then remind yourself, “I’ve written it down; now there’s no need to check again.” (b) Practice Meditation and Breathing: Meditation: Practice meditation for 10–15 minutes daily. It calms your mind and reduces unnecessary thoughts. Deep Breathing (Pranayama): Deep breathing reduces fear and anxiety. Do it regularly. (c) Use Distraction Techniques: When OCD-induced fear arises, distract yourself by doing something else: Sing a song, read a book, or go for a walk. Remind yourself, “This is just OCD, and I don’t need to follow it.” (d) Reward Yourself: When you resist the urge to check repeatedly, reward yourself. For example: “Today, I checked only 900 times instead of 1000. This is my victory.” --- 4. Seek Help From Others: Talk to a Trusted Person: Ask your family or friends to monitor your checking habits and help you stop. Get Professional Help: If the fear persists, consider ERP therapy (Exposure and Response Prevention). It’s one of the most effective treatments for OCD. --- 5. Positive Self-Talk: Repeat these statements to yourself: “My fear is not real.” “I have done it correctly, and there’s no need to check again.” “I am stronger than this.” Practice saying 10 positive things to yourself every day. It will train your brain to think positively. --- 6. Focus on Gradual Improvement: Improvement with OCD takes time, so be patient. Take small steps, such as: Check once and stop. Do a little better the next day. --- Remember: Your fear is caused by OCD, not reality. Building self-confidence is a process that requires effort and time. You can manage it—just be patient and continue practicing gradually. If needed, discuss your progress with your doctor or therapist.

I've never seen a therapist or been diagnosed, so I went surfing through to find this community. I've seen a lot of OCD symptoms written online. Here is what I experience that I feel may be OCD. If any of you guys agrees, please let me know. I have only ever been able to call my mom by her first name. I have never been able to not do that. She tried to make me call her mom once as a kid but it felt so wrong that I started crying. Everytime I see a wet floor sign, I say "piso mojado" out loud. I have plenty of harsh intrusive thoughts, such as committing acts of violence when I see people not using their turn signals, interrupting performers at a concert. I make myself re-press on my phone alarms 10-12 times each day in the same rythym until it feels fully set to go off. Light switches get flicked off and on, I can't stand not doing it. I have to double-check everything and make myself re-look through the same drawers at work for hours. I love to write, but I never get far because I need approval from others. My head is also always filled to the brim with thoughts which has made writing and things like memory a lot harder. I can't use spoons. I can only use forks for almost everything. I can't stand them. That's all I can think of for right now. Please let me know what you guys think. Thanks!

I don’t know how to even properly word my thoughts on this. I turn 18 in 4 months, I am a senior in high school and have an art project due which is supposed to represent how I feel I’ve grown or what I want to do with my future as an adult. I don’t feel like I’ve even grown at all, it’s like I’m on autopilot with my life and I don’t care about what I become in my future or how I’ll get there. I visited what everyone around me thought would be my dream college but I didn’t feel anything at all. I can’t see myself as anything but a kid, I don’t have any more passion for my original stories, they just give me a headache to work on and I get sent into compulsive loops trying to make sure it’s perfect. I feel like turning 18 is an expiration date but everyone around me tells me it is the complete opposite, that I should look forward to being something other than a high school student, but I just don’t care. I have no real emotions on it besides fear and general apathy, I don’t want to become “old” or not a teenager, I still feel like such a child, like I haven’t lived a complete teen life. Articulating emotions has gotten harder too, sorry if this post sounds really rambley and confusing. Point is I’m scared to become an adult and start a life because I don’t feel like I care enough to do that, I feel like I’m just going along with whatever the adults in my life tell me to do and I don’t feel a sense of desire to be responsible or grow up or create art anymore. I don’t wanna say I’m depressed because I do feel happy, especially when I’m doing things I like to do or speaking with people I like, but I just don’t feel like life matters much in a future lense. I’m tired.

i’m feeling so hopeless today because of my ocd around sickness and germs. i was just sick about a month ago the first week i came home to visit my parents, which was hard mentally and caused a breakdown. after i recovered i was feeling so good and happy, then my dad got a respiratory infection and it caused me so much fear that i decided to rebook my flight to an earlier day. i keep washing my hands and checking my symptoms obsessively. my throat has been scratchy and i feel like im getting sick now which caused me to spiral and feel so down on myself. i ended up cancelling a fun outing with my mom this morning because i was crying so much and having anxiety. my parents both exploded at me saying i focus on every little thing and want to be perfect, am so selfish etc. but im really truly just struggling with my obsessions about germs. i feel like i ruined my good positive relationship with my parents and feel so worthless and misunderstood.

So I’ve been planning a tattoo for the past three months and my appointment is today. I bought lots of fake ones to make sure that I actually liked the design before I did it now I am absolutely terrified. What if I don’t like it what if I have regrets what if I want to change it in the future this may be TMI, but I have literally had the anxiety shits three times this morning, I’m going through a lot in life. I’m going through a divorce. I got out of an abusive alcoholic relationship. I’m terrified to start dating. I’m terrified of everything. I just wanna break down and cry. I wanna be strong. I wanna beat this so bad. OCD keeps me from doing almost everything I wanna do in life and I don’t wanna live like that that isn’t living. It’s suffering in a cage!! 😭

im upset because some random stranger online came up to me while i was playing a forum game that was 'avatar first impressions' and they responded to mine (picture attached to this post), which i drew mind you, with ''what the heck is that LOL'' and it hurt a lot and it felt very rude and disrespectful because it was supposed to be fun and lighthearted i already feel insecure about my art as is because its not the ''conventional pretty/impressive'' type of art and i dont like it when people come to insult me about it or say that ''ai is better'' than my art

Good news for those who have seen my posts and replies and are aware of why I am here on this platform: I have some great news to share. For those who don’t know, I am a parent of a son with OCD. Back in July, I helplessly watched him experience the anxiety and suffering of an OCD episode. Initially, I tried to help, but I didn’t know how. When I reached out to family and friends, their common response was to just let him grow up, labeling him as a spoiled boy. Even his mother was in denial and confronted me whenever I suggested seeking professional help, insisting that my son was not crazy but just lazy and acting up. This realization hit hard when she witnessed my son's condition during that July episode. I prayed for help and cried, even considering supernatural explanations like black magic. Then, I spoke with a friend whose son is a doctor. To my surprise, he also had OCD and calmly explained it to me, pointing me to NOCD as a valuable resource. I didn’t need to convince my son before his mother that talking to someone could help. The first session ended with a "haaaaeh" reaction from my son, indicating no progress. However, I asked him to give the therapist a chance for at least five sessions. By the third session, he came to me excitedly saying that the therapist had said something that clicked for him. Since then, he has improved tremendously. As my son navigated his journey, I spent a lot of time learning about OCD and reading your posts on this platform to understand the thoughts that led to the severe reactions I witnessed in my son. One of the most important things I've learned is that you are not crazy; you are sensitive, smart, conscientious, loyal, faithful perfectionists who deserve respect. It’s not your fault that you are special; it’s a reflection of the messy world we live in. My son has continued to improve, and I made a commitment to be on this platform to help others. I deeply believe that helping others opens the door for God to help me. Last week, while checking on my son, he told me that his therapist discharged him. This doesn’t mean OCD is gone, but it signifies that God has accepted my prayers and things are under control. Now, I am considering getting another degree to become a therapist myself so I can help others more effectively. Despite some opinions suggesting I refrain from helping OCD patients, most of my replies have emphasized the need for professional help and therapy. Therefore, I feel it may be time for me to step back since I don’t want to add to anyone's agony or harm. Yet you have repeatedly said that my comments have helped. God knows my intentions are good, and I pray for your recovery. Until there is a treatment for OCD, I will occasionally peek in and say hello.

17+ only or you’ll be blocked. I saw someone get canceled for drawing cheese pizza and zoophi// when they were 13-14 and at this point I want to be confess what I did. It eats at me and seeing all the comments about “maybe just don’t do bad things, this is the consequences you have to deal with.” Or “no, anything from 13-15 is unforgivable” I’m so done, I feel doomed and I feel like I ruined my life because I did something unforgivingly wrong and I will never deserve happiness. When I was 15, I viewed a inappropriate disgusting video on a website, no it wasn’t a weird video, it was actually bad, like get in trouble bad. then I regretted it once i realized what had happened, it was like my brain turned on after it happened and I realized what I was doing was wrong, I cried every night, and I didn’t eat or anything because of how much I regretted what I had did. It took me a year to recover because I would punish myself every single day and even now when I see these videos I go back to punishing myself like I did for a year, almost two years ago.