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U guys for some reason when I think my baby looks cute or is being nice I feel something in my private and I worry. This also has been happening with my dog. I’m scared

I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of doom/panic coming and going over the last few days. It’s so exhausting to pretend you’re fine but be dying on the inside. My fears center around my beautiful baby who I love so much. I have an overwhelming fear that I could lose control of myself or lose my mind and hurt her. The thought of that is completely intolerable, and I can’t think about anything else. I live in a constant state of sheer panic. Any advice? 😢

Hello! I have been dealing with postpartum ocd since right after having my first child in 2017. It started with worrying that someone would drop her. Then I was terrified of her getting sick. All of these symptoms could be shrugged off as being an overly protective new parent. I had my second child in 2019. I used an owlet device to help prevent sudden infant death (SIDS) in our baby. Turns out it did save her life, multiple times. The first time being the day we brought her home. We were told, after many tests and three days, those devices often just cause anxiety. I trusted my gut and continued to use the device which ultimately saved her life a second time when she stopped breathing again. We had to do cpr on her and she spent over a month in neo natal icu, come to find out she had severe central apnea. I feel like this experience reaffirmed my ocd tendencies. If I didn’t obsess over her health and be overly cautious she wouldn’t be here. The whole first year was her being on machines at home and oxygen. She was monitored constantly at home. Now she is a beautiful four year old. She’s strong and healthy and a normal kid. I however, am still a walking ball of dread and fear. I’m terrified of finding her blue in bed. Or even my oldest daughter blue in bed when there’s no reason at all to fear this. I’m terrified of “missing” something and them getting deathly ill. If one of them feels off or is tired my mind goes to “what if they have cancer and I’m missing something.” “What if they have a sinus infection and it turns into meningitis because someone is missing something.” “I am thinking this all the time because they ARE going to die and the universe is preparing me.” I don’t think other people can understand how debilitating this is. Constantly playing out every single scenario in your mind and preventing it from happening. It feels like I am trying to outrun fate every single day. The reality is “fate” is my obsession to keep my children alive when they ARE alive. I’m sorry to vent. I’m not really sure why I’m writing this. Maybe someone understands these feelings. The silver lining I guess is I love my children so much, my mind will solely exist to try and keep them safe. I know that they deserve a mom who lets them live this life outside of a bubble, to live not just to survive. I want so badly to be that for them.

Does anyone else struggle with OCD in general but it’s the POCD that bothers them the most and what they can’t accept and move on from? I’m really struggling and I’m a new mum and just so fearful of going into a really dark place.

I’m a stay at home mommy with my 2 year old daughter. My husband recently went back to work full time after being off for 6 months. It’s day 3 and I am SO TIRED. my daughter is absolutely amazing and all around a really good toddler but just with my mental compulsions and the intrusive thoughts it makes me extra tired throughout the day so I really have to push myself through making her meals and bathing her and washing the bottles and cleaning the house and making sure she doesn’t get hurt and the whole nine. I definitely feel the ocd is more when I’m tired too so it’s like a cycle but hey atleast I’m doing it ya know ? Keep pushing through the day everyone and enjoy the fun moments. You guys got this !

I feel like I dont see a whole lot about this specific type of ocd so I just wanted to see if anyone else out there has this same issue! I constantly fear that I am pregnant even if there is absolutely 0% chance that I could be. Im a very safe and cautious person and still I have taken more pregnancy tests than any person I know. I will stare at a clearly negative pregnancy test for like 15 minutes trying to see if i somehow missed the second line on the test. I will even send pictures of the test to other people to make sure they only see one line too. this truly causes me so much distress. ocd sucks.

Lately my intrusive thoughts are centered on my kids. Why is ocd coming for what is most precious to me?? This is so painful and the hardest i’ve ever had to deal with. The more I tell the ocd it isn’t true the more it tries to make me feel that it is. I can’t live like this😢

I feel so clouded. I wish I could just stop thinking. I don’t even feel present around my daughter. I am acting the part, but my mind is so lost in my obsessions. Lately I am obsessing that my head pain is something more than it probably is. It’s all I think about. Constant fear of dying 24/7. Is this it? Is this the moment I keel over? What if my daughter isn’t safe? How do I keep her in a safe environment so if I do die, she’s okay until my husband gets home? 3 weeks of this, triggered by the stomach flu. Since THEN I’ve had the following obsessions: tobacco poisoning, stroke, csf leak, tumor, ms, colon cancer, and aneurysm. It’s hard to find joy. I’m just waiting until it’s over. But 3 weeks and I’m still in the trenches. How do I get out?

I’m almost 4 months post partum and started having terrible OCD centered around going into a psychosis and hurting my family. Today I’ve been obsessing terribly and constantly checking my five senses. I’ve been able to work through this obsession in the past to the point that it was just a passing thought, but last night I walked into my bedroom and smelled weed. Nobody in my house smokes or has been around weed, so now I’m terrified I was hallucinating. Please help me.

I changed my baby’s name amidst a postpartum panic attack and ocd episode. We immediately changed it back (she’s a month old now), but now her birth certificate will say it was amended. I am so happy we changed it back bc we love her name. I didn’t want her to have a name we didn’t love and picked in a low moment for me. But now, I am really worried about the repercussions this will have on her as she goes to get a job, married, apply for a license, etc. So even though I feel we made the right choice to give her the original name she was born with, I’m down a rabbit hole of the ramifications of that. How do we avoid going down this rabbit hole? I don’t want to live like this forever and think about it all the time as she grows up; fearing for the worst.

I have two beautiful healthy young boys. This OCD has sucked away all of my joy and being able to enjoy parenting and being with them. Being a mom has always been my whole identity and dream and I was thriving in it until I was hit with OCD. It is the most distressing thing that it is sucking away me enjoying these precious ages with my boys that I’ll never get back. I am so distraught. Anyone else who has kids on here who deals with OCD? How do you cope?

Hey guys! Just wanted to give a friendly reminder that OCD will do everything in its power to distress us and make us think our theme is real. OCD will cause false feelings, sensations, and urges but just remember it is a symptom of OCD and not indicative of our real wants and desires. Here’s an example of how much OCD will affect our bodies. I once had a really bad episode of pregnancy OCD (a theme where i convinced myself I was pregnant even if it was biologically impossible). My OCD clung onto it so it intensely convincing me I somehow had to be pregnant that I literally missed a period that month fueling my OCD even more. Spoiler alert: I was not even remotely pregnant, but that’s a prime example of how much OCD will literally manipulate our bodies in order to keep us in the OCD cycle. We got this guys! Keep fighting! 😊

So, I do have OCD. That’s not a question (Pure O mainly. Compulsions are mental and emotional checking and ruminating and comparing). And my OCD was ramping up pretty bad a while back so I started ERP counseling through NOCD. I learned some basic skills and good ways to respond and not engage to thoughts. But now, I think the therapy just brings things up that didn’t need to be that big. It makes minor things bigger. It brings overwhelm thinking I have all this “work” to do, when I think what I need is to let go. Of course with OCD letting go is not a simple task, but hear me out. I didn’t do therapy for over a month and started feeling better. I used some of the tools I learned a few times and things just seemed more minor and less serious. I’m now postpartum with anxiety panic and ocd so I upped my therapy and I truly think it’s making things worse. Does anyone else share this opinion or experience? I also think back to when OCD was darn near nonexistent and I was not in ERP therapy. I know things come and go but I’m just realizing this.

I have Postpartum OCD and was wondering if other moms out there have experienced this as well? I’ve wound up with harm/SI/etc. and just want to connect with moms that experienced the symptoms of OCD come on with their child’s birth?

Hi my name is Haley. This is my first time using NOCD. I'm reaching out to talk about my trama and what has been bothering me for a very very long time. I don't like being judged. So this is a no judgement zone. I have been through hell for as long as I can remember. From All 4 abuse categories. From also losing my baby 2 years ago and from the nightmares. I need help and I'm admitting that. I have an appointment scheduled Monday with a therapist on this app. I would like some advice. Please and ty

Fear of spiraling. Losing control. Harm ocd. I just had to have a c section yesterday and everything has spiked. I’m just hoping for some positive words to get me through this difficult time. Maybe some mantras that have helped you stay positive? Reminders this is temporary? Hopefully not reassurance seeking but just needing some outside positivity

I’m almost 3 months post partum. My baby was in the nicu for about 3 1/2 weeks after birth so we had a rough start. A couple nights after I brought her home I woke up for one of her middle of the night feeds. I made her bottle as usual and started feeding her. I was just looking at her and was all of a sudden bombarded by all of these terrifying thoughts like “what if I stab her.” I was so panicked and nauseated to the point of throwing up. I just knew those intrusive thoughts were the beginning of post partum psychosis and I was going to do something terrible to myself or my baby while in the psychosis. I couldn’t go back to sleep and just cried and cried the next day. I saw my obgyn and was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft and 5mg of buspar. Each day that passed after that I started to feel a letter better. Then I got my first post partum period. After my period I started having panick attacks and terrible chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack so I saw a doctor who ran some tests. Everything came back completely normal and was told I’m just having severe anxiety and am under a lot of stress. So I saw my obgyn again and she upped my Zoloft to 50mg and my buspar to 15mg. The first few days were terrible. I thought I was having a bad reaction to the medication my anxiety was through the roof and I felt absolutely hopeless. My harm ocd was so bad. I thought I was going to take my own life. Not because I wanted to but because I just felt so hopeless. I moved back in with my parents so that there was eyes on me at all times. I was still scared I was going to go into a psychosis and hurt my baby. I felt better after a few days and the medication had started working again. I felt completely normal up until my 2nd post partum period. I’m ten days off of my period and now I’m back at square one. My harm ocd has spiraled. I’m having terrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my baby. I know now I’m not going to go into a psychosis because if I was going to I would have already. When I’m having these thoughts and they don’t make me nauseous I start to obsess over whether or not I’m a dangerous person or capable of being violent. Now I’m stuck on that. The fact that I’m not dwelling on the intrusive thoughts the way I used to has made me question if post partum has turned me into a psychopath or sociopath. I question all of my emotions and wonder if I’m actually feeling the way I think I do or wondering if they’re generic emotions. I’m ferried. Please help.

i see so many stories of mothers going through postpartum psychosis and then harming their children and it scares me so bad to the point idk if i want to have kids. what if that happens to me when/if i have children? anyone else have this fear :(

Please help me… i get the most horrible sad feelings around my little girl… and my suicidal ocd goes crazy when im alone with her… I can’t do this… i can’t keep having horrible thoughts/feelings/urges especially suicidal ocd around my little girl!

Lately since my obsession started (which has gotten out of control). I have not been able to function. I keep forgetting to do certain things. Forget where I put things, remembering certain dates. I am a mom to 2 beautiful kids. and I can’t even give my kids or husband the love they deserve bc of OCD. I feel terrible. I feel like my husband is going to eventually get tired of me and leave me. It’s sucks bc he has no idea how OCD affects the life of some many people. Some people have some forms, they can just let go quickly. But OCD like ours is another beast. Would not with this on my worst enemy.