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Anyone willing to share how debilitating their OCD has been? 1. Able to work? 2. Consider yourself miserable? I haven’t been able to work three years and have been occasionally suicidal many many years

So I haven’t been getting intrusive thoughts as much but I have been thinking that maybe I force the thoughts and am really a bad person just tricking myself into thinking I might have ocd but in reality I want these things to happen but I know I don’t and idk what to do or if I’m just a bad person it hurts me a lot.

18+ Hi everyone. I’m dealing with the Urge to m-sturbate to my intrusive thought. It’s so scary. Someone had it in the past and did it pass or got better? I’m scarred that I will always fear from m-sturbate to the intrusive thoughts. And maybe even act on it (I acted on it one time to test myself and check how I feel but it gave me big shame and guilt feeling and bad anxiety. I don’t want to ever do it again. But the urge feel so strong. I know it’s a compulsion) My question is will the feeling pass ? I’m so scared I will feel like this forever.

Sometimes I feel sad because my friends and family do get frustrated with me when I constantly ask for reassurance, even though I fight it with all my might Truthfully, in my mind, I don’t even think it’s reassurance. I just think it’s a regular question like are you going to pay for those socks? Or how are we splitting this bill when we go out? But since they are so used to me asking for reassurance, they assume it’s me having another OCD tic for reassurance and it’s not. A friend of mine got upset with me yesterday because I asked him the same question three times only because I felt as though I didn’t get the clarification that I needed. he said that me asking was annoying. and this happened twice it left me feeling depressed and sad. My response to him was how do you think I feel I’m the one going but this after that, I didn’t say anything else about it, but it did leave me feeling sad, but I realized that this is a hard condition for people to understand but even with that being said, I still deserve respect and empathy, and I stand by that

So, usually when I am at work (or really any social situation at all) by myself, I immediately start to panic and want to compulsively document and record my actions and surroundings. I feel like my life is a 24/7 reality show because I am convinced if I don’t document when I’m alone, that something bad happened to me whether that be someone did something to me or that I did something bad to someone and just won’t remember or recall it. It is my biggest nightmare and makes me feel so weak that I can’t be alone leisurely anymore because I’m going to convince myself bad things happened unless I take pictures or record myself. It is exhausting and years ago I was never like this. I would love to take drives and listen to music and look around stores for fun and peace. I can no longer do that, and am having a hard time even being at work alone unless I have a trusted co-worker with me and even then I still get the compulsion to document things. I’m having a very hard time trying to work ERP therapy in with this specific obsession.

Do any of you ever convince yourself that you are faking your OCD in its entirety, I am uneducated on what ocd even truly means even tho I have been told I have it by my psychiatrist that I do in fact have OCD. Because I’m uneducated on the disorder tho, that means that I can’t tell if a lot of the things I think and feel are normal or not, and whenever I think it’s OCD there’s this loudd voice in my head that tells me I am faking it completely

So this morning I woke up to the grim reaper for about two seconds then I went back to sleep. I don't know if it was a thought image or actually standing there. The thing is I can't really how it look or happen but I know it happen. Is this common with ocd

The past couple of days have been so stressful, I’m 15 years old and my older brother,mom, and dad all work sometimes, and some days ALL three of them work, so it’s only me and my younger sister left at home, and our 4 dogs. I’m super stressed out, even when my brother is here, he doesn’t help around the house. He’s just in his room, my sister doesn’t either. So I’m left doing all the work and taking care of the dogs. It’s so frustrating, it’s two huskies and 2 other breeds and the huskies are too much, I hit them on the snout when they bite me or scratch me and I feel bad, I pushed one too and I know I’m super stressed and that’s why I’m getting aggressive but my ocd is starting to make me freak out, it’s saying like what if I can’t handle it and do something bad??? I don’t even wanna think about it , I feel like crying, they’re always barking and whining and biting me and I hate it, I love dogs, I do love them, but I’m so stressed and It’s just making me feel terrible ,,

My adult son is suffering so much. He is basically non-functioning. He can’t get a job, focus on his college classes, or do much around the house because of his intrusive thoughts. He doesn’t want to hang out with his friends because his intrusive thoughts make him think he wants to be with them sexually. He refuses to take medicine or go to therapy because he is afraid that it will somehow prove that he doesn’t have OCD. He relies on me 100% to help with his OCD. It’s not working. He suffered for four years not knowing what it was, then finally broke down and told me about it about nine months ago. He stopped doing all drugs (he was self medicating). He’s an adult and can refuse treatment, but any advice about how I can encourage him to at least try would be greatly appreciated. Note: he did try Zoloft for a month and said it made his anxiety better which made him worry even more. Thanks.

I have trouble leaving my home because of panic disorder and my OCD. I’ve not gone out longer than an hour and a half in 4 months. Today I went to a convention for 7 HOURS. There were times it was extremely difficult, and I wanted to leave, or I’d have an intrusive thought that something bad would happen to me, but I was able to squash it . However, now I’m home and I’m panicky 😫I can’t stop overthinking . But I can’t believe I did that today!

What medications have you found most helpful for your intrusive ocd thoughts? I was put on a handful of different ones and I was just curious what has worked for other people.

Can ocd put a thought in your head that feels like you are actually the one thinking it? Not like a normal intrusive thought where it is more like someone else saying untrue things to you?

how do you stop ruminating on a thought? it keeps intruding back into my head. and I can’t feel relaxed

I’m ruminating a lot today as usual but not following through with the compulsions so far. It’s extremely uncomfortable, but after being here even for a little bit, I’m starting to internalize that the compulsions make it worse. Still, I wish my head was a more peaceful place and it’s hard that I feel like I can’t do anything about it. Who relates?

How do you handle thoughts that just keep popping up random ill be petting my dog and hear kill your dog looking at my son and hear the same horrble stuff. My heart races . I keep saying sure thanks brain .maybe tomorrow . But they are like every 5 minutes . I'm avoiding taking more medication that is how I got here in the first place . Please help I just keep distracting myself.

Hi everyone. I’ve been in my relationship for over 2 years and love him so much. I have had ocd since I was 13 where i did therapy to learnt to manage the intrusive thoughts and was good for about 7 years up until about a month ago. My boyfriend hasn’t experienced me in this state of distress because my ocd was so under control and now im in a spiral. It’s causing me to think that my boyfriend won’t want to be with me or doesn’t want to have to deal with this until I get better. This spiked today because I was invited to go out with him and his family to meet one of his aunts for the first time and really wanted to but my thoughts stopped me from doing so. He then was sending me pictures of him having a good time which i am so happy that he is, but i want to be there too and he wants me to be there as well. I’m just really scared that this is disorder is what’s going to cause my relationship to end when it was going so well. We have so many events to look forward to in the future and I feel like I can’t even enjoy thinking about them.

I was very unsure about posting the fact that I became a conqueror today. I was so happy and excited getting this accomplishment, but also later in the day I had intrusive thoughts that made me distressed and cry a bit (which actually hasn’t happened in weeks). In the moment it felt like how the heck did I become a conqueror. I don’t deserve it. Ofc that’s what my OCD wants me to believe. What I thought was going to become a panic attack, ended up subsiding in less than 10 minutes. I said some response prevention messages to myself, and used the tools that I learned doing ERP with my therapist. (Shoutout to my AMAZING THERAPIST at NOCD Shannon Graepel) To keep this short. I experienced my first ever OCD episode a little less than 4 months ago. I then got diagnosed with OCD and started at NOCD. I thought I would never get better and that I would have to live struggling every day. But (from a Ted talk I once saw), it’s not about surviving each day, but about fighting everyday. From this experience, I’ve started reading books (which is crazy cuz I haven’t picked up a book for fun since 4th grade), I exercise everyday, and I meditate and do yoga occasionally. All things Ive picked up since my OCD episode started. Anything you do that helps you mentally/helps with your OCD, even if it’s just a short breathing exercise, is SOMETHING and pointing to you to the right direction of recovery. Don’t get me wrong I have my bad days, like ironically today, but I am confident I will continue fighting and not let my OCD control my life. AND I am confident that all of you can too😊 Also shoutout to all the people that answered my community posts during the hard times🫡 y’all are real ones.

Hi all, I've a bit of a dilemma. I have the "Pure" OCD themes (I'm not sure if thats what its actually called?) and they're horrible. However, I do deal with the more stereotypical OCD theme, such as perfection. I used to ruin my notes copy in school cause one line looked 'ugly'. I would tear pages, nearly soak the page in tippex, make holes on the page due to excessive overcorrecting. My mind would think what I was doing is making things better lmao. This wasn't just with my notes, it was in scrapbooks, things I would make in art class, etc. It was bad, but compared to the likes of my POCD theme, it was nothing. However, its acting up with a tattoo I'm after getting. Its in the healing stage and I'm looking at it. I've noticed it isn't as clear as it was on the first day. Theres a a few lines of ink that doesn't looked 'filled in', one line is croocked, and you can see the lines where it was filled in. But this his when I look *really* close to it, like I've literally my face to it and a light shining on it. Other than that, its not noticeable AT ALL. And cause I'm so up close, ofc I'm gonna notice the small things. I'm looking at it while I'm typing and I dont notice anything wrong. And the 'croocked" line, its on a star thats really tiny. Plus its HEALING. Like it's still scabby. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had their OCD flare up with a tattoo. I think i'm overreacting cause this is gonna be on me forever. I just wish my mind would leave me alone. And if a line wasn't filled in properly ever so slightly (or maybe it didn't heal correctly), it shouldn't be a big deal. Cause again, it's not noticeable at all. I'm hoping maybe if thats the case, I'll be content with it and not ruin it by getting it done again (cause I know I'd be temped). Other than that I really like it. Its a butterfly tattoo in the style of a Celtic knot with little stars around it. I'll attach a picture if anyone wants to see. But I've gotten sooo many compliments on it :) I feel like that should outweigh whatever imperfections my OCD has latched onto. Juts a pity that something I've been looking forward to for years has turned against me.

But thanks to doing ERP, I feel like OCD is barely a part of my life now. It's crazy because I have had maladaptive perfectionism for essentially my whole life, and I developed tics that were probably OCD-related at a young age. I've had a variety of themes (mental contamination, existentialism, symmetry, gender, etc.), with the most recurring one being the "just right" subtype. Even though the thoughts still come, I no longer give into the compulsions. Sometimes, I think "oh no, I erased and rewrote a word just now - isn't that giving into a compulsion?" and then I just accept that I can't really know and go on with my life. As long as you're willing to commit to truly exposing yourself to your triggers, to sitting with uncertainty or imperfection, OCD doesn't have to be your destiny. I really never imagined I could get to a point where, for instance, I could write a post like this one in 10 minutes, rather than 3+ hours of googling synonyms of every word, reading it over and over again, checking how I felt about it, and ultimately deleting it (feeling that pressure in my head and body all the while, that feeling of things not being quite right). It's honestly hard to remember how bad it really was. Life isn't perfect, but it's alright. I'm finally letting myself just... do the things. To anyone in the throes of OCD who is currently reading this, you don't have to believe me. I certainly wouln't have when I was in your position. You just need to commit to doing the exposures (and to not doing the rituals), as much as you can, even - and especially - imperfectly. And maybe one day, you'll realize that the thoughts aren't quite as anxiety-inducing as they once were, and the urge to do your compulsions is not quite so strong, and now you have time to do some of the things that you wish you could before.

This is my first post on this group. I feel like I have reached a point of no return. Long read ahead for context. I always assumed I struggled with OCD but never wanted to be the person who relies on the internet. I sadly waited until I had an intrusive thought to get help. I had the thought of “what if I stab my boyfriend” I had an instant panic attack. From there, I saw a therapist and felt better. Fast forward to a family vacation. I couldn’t sleep in the travel. I was awake 28 hours. Another thought comes in “what if I were to stab my sister?” I freak out, hide all items that could harm her. Next night, “what if you strangled her with your phone cord?” I freak out. Spend the rest of the trip with my parents. I spoke with my other sister who has struggled with anxiety for some time. She got me feeling back to myself. I manage to get through this trip. I head home, can’t sleep, awake 27 hours. I come home, thoughts about my boyfriend again. My therapist is able to squeeze me in. We come up with a crisis plan and set me up with a doc to get me on meds. I can’t make it, I get to a point I felt I was going to “snap” or have an extreme panic attack. Didn’t want to risk it, I went to the ER. Instantly feel better in the ER just being there. I take meds for the first time and get the best sleep I’ve had in months. I get assigned to a partial hospital program, but test positive for Covid. I managed to get myself to a better place at home in quarantine. I debated on doing the program. But I do, and I regret it. I was put on three different meds. Which I feel made things worse. Rather than being able to distract myself from my thoughts, I can’t anymore. I try to tell myself I’m not this person and wouldn’t act on these things and it doesn’t register with me like it used to. I feel so numb and disconnected from myself. The thoughts are becoming constant and more disturbing. Has anyone gotten to this point before? How do you get out of it? Am I too far gone? Ps, I have communicated this to my doc I am getting off my meds as of today and as instructed.