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I am having a real hard time with meta-ocd and thoughts about feeling depressed and be like this forever. Or the thought I never feel normal again or never feel connected to normal life things and normal people. The intrusive thoughts are here like the whole day and they are all about my mental health. And I obsess about how I feel and what I feel with everything I do. It’s so hard to explain. If someone- a therapist or someone who dealt with this has tips or word of encouragement right now, that would me great. I feel like everything I want to learn myself about ocd and coming to this forum also is a bit compulsive. It is so confusing 🫤

i was recently diagnosed with ocd and i think im having a hard time identifying what is my ocd and what isn’t? or im not really sure how to express myself but i feel like i still don’t really know much about ocd and feel like an imposter saying i have it because i don’t know enough about it to really understand it? like all my life these things i would do or say or think or feel were i guess “normal” to me,, so how do i move forward when i don’t know really where to begin?

Hi - just for some context, I have OCD and ADHD. I hate bringing this up, but with these diagnoses, when intertwined, there is ALWAYS a thought. I never stop thinking. This is really hard, especially because I feel like I always need to be talking to someone. Whether it’s my friends or family, talking to people brings me down to earth from certain kinds of thought spirals. However, when I’m alone it is the hardest. When my friends don’t reply I have this compulsion to text again or I need to constantly check my notifications so that I have none left to check. But then to them or new people I talk to, this behavior probably comes across as overwhelming or too much. I’m trying to control it and use erp, but also, I have my moments where I’m just vunerable and give into the compulsion. It’s genuinely so embarassing and maybe not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be but, how do I manage? And how do I relax?

It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.

What would I do for ERP if my OCD says because I didn’t do something correctly or remember something I will have panic attacks that don’t end?

i’m trying to not let the thoughts bother me but it’s just so stressful. even me typing that feels like i’m lying when i know i’m not. i’m scared because even my therapist tells me that it’s just ocd, but in the back of my mind i slightly don’t believe her, and its making me scared that i AM like those people and im gonna act on something. sometimes in social moments i get a quick thought of me being an outcast because im like those people who are sick in the head and act on that stuff, and it just makes me feel like i truly am gonna eventually act on something. another thing that bothered me is earlier my mom yelled at me for not doing school work (it was well deserved im really slacking on it) and i had like no reaction to her screaming. it had me thinking what if i have no empathy etc etc, and what if i get mad that she yelled at me and i do something involving those thoughts. how do i TRULY know it’s ocd? like i try to remind myself and be like “dude, your therapist said it’s ocd, she isn’t wrong” but the back of my mind is like “she is wrong, it’s not ocd and she just happened to misdiagnose you. you are gonna act on those thoughts and it’s your fate”. please someone respond if you read all of this, im really struggling

I used to never have these thoughts it feels like im a different person and im so sad . I watched a TikTok of a girl with her kid and my Brain says how has she not killed her kid yet like wtf cus I get so many thoughts I’m shocked other ppl don’t and now my Brian says how I have I not hurt my dad . I keep posting and I shouldn’t but I feel not normal

I see a lot of posts and comments here along the lines of... "the thoughts/urges aren't you -- they're just OCD." Though this is often true and comforting, isn't this just a form of reassurance? The way to beat OCD is by accepting that the distressing thoughts MAY be true/real, a.k.a. "from you" or "not just OCD." By brushing distressing things off as "just OCD," you excuse the thoughts and therefore feel reassured. Obviously it is good to be aware of what OCD does to you and know when you're experiencing a spiral, but crediting all distressing thoughts to OCD is a way of finding certainty about them. What do you guys think of this? Am I right or wrong? This is just the way I think about it, but I see the "this is just OCD" thing so much on here and I often wonder if that is a form of reassurance.

I think I’m in the recovery stage as my thoughts have settled so much & I only get intrusive thoughts on occasion and get worse only when I’m anxious, but the quietness in my brain feels so weird & I feel awful saying that because all I wanted was the thoughts to stop. This is the most quiet it’s been it’s over 7 months, so to go from non stop thoughts for a long time to quietness I don’t know how to take it. Has anyone else felt like this in recovery

17f So basically I think you know this whole accept and sit with the uncertainty thing. It applies to pocd as well. Because you can ruminate, test yourself, seek reassurance as much as you want but it will never be enough for you brain to be sure you are not a P. So you need to sit with "Maybe I am a P maybe not" and just don't do anything about it. So sometimes I can do that. But here comes moral ocd. If I accept the chanse of me being a pedophile, isn't it morally wrong for me to be around children? Look at children? Watch movies with children in it? Cause now I can't even look at children even if it was an accident without freaking out and thinking that I'm a monster. Sometimes it feels morally wrong to leave the house because there is a chanse I can meet a child on the street I genuinely don't know what to do. It feels paralyzing at this point. Seems like I can't do anything. Like I even need to cover children on the screen with my hand when I watch a movie. It's exhausting.

I feel like my whole life I’ve been overthinking everything. I remember having really bad intrusive thoughts as a kid but I thought I had gotten over it. I feel like I’m starting to see that it’s just not manifested in different ways. I tried to bring it up with my therapist but she thinks it’s just anxiety. I feel like it’s something more. Does anyone have any advice on what personally showed you what was the difference

I am so tired of having intrusive thoughts everytime i try to eat anything cause my mind immediately goes to “what if this tastes like human meat” “what if the texture is like human meat” and i have to stop eating and i start crying it annoys me so bad and i lost some weight because of it i just want to be normal again and to stop these thoughts they happened out of nowhere and i talked to some people about it and they tell me what cannibals have said and it has made things so much worse tbh im just so exhausted and i wanna eat healthy again

Does anyone else read other peoples post and think it’s for them or about them and their situation and start to think that’s what they are going through themselves ? Or like I’m blaming ocd but it’s my brain actually telling that’s how I actually feel?

Today I woke up with severe panic attack. My heart jumps out of my chest. As I do every morning. When I wake up and my brain is awake it automatically goes straight to intrusive thoughts about my partner, my life and everything else. That I don’t love her, I don’t want to be with her and she’s not the one for me and I should break up with her. This all happened from TikTok comments I saw that triggered this. Since then I haven’t been able to stop my thoughts. I know she is the one for me I know I love her I just can’t stop the thoughts. It feels so real. The voices feel so real.

Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! 🤍

Nearly a week since I stopped in the middle of a compulsion and I still feel stressed and tempted to finish it. My throat, ears, head, chest, legs,arms, my body has been hurting since then. And if I finish it will it stop? But what's stopping me is.. I've been trying to trust God to handle it. Idk what to do rn, Ive been trying to set up a schedule for this week but it ended up not working out so I will try again next week, and School work I'm years behind (I'm in yr 10), I don't rlly have any friends either to help me. But anyways I try not to think about school that much since I have alot more to think about. And I don't even have any talent or anything I want to be I just want to be a good person but I'm horrible I just need to do focus on stuff Like getting closer to God. looking after myself. The OCD thoughts which. I can't do any of these tho because the OCD makes me so stressed I just want to hit the OCD in the face but I can't obviously so I do it to myself, And they make me want to do more to myself but I don't because ✝️ And I don't want to. Anyways I can't even do the basic things to look after yourself, and The OCD thoughts keep saying about death all the time, and illness. I don't like hearing it in my head all the time I can't do anything properly. And Those thoughts are active when I try read the Bible. Even when I used an audio bible. And a app where u read 1 verse at a time it's still hard. But basically what do I do My throat keeps feeling weird like burning without the feeling hot ughhshsheh I don't want to go back into that life when I was 12-13 where I was worrying about my health and checking with doctor all the time

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

I feel like after years of living in survival mode from various back to back traumas, I don’t know how to turn off my brain. It’s always in some sort of overstimulated cycle of overthinking, rumination, self checking, and seeking reassurance. I know there will be more peace after treatment. But just hating like I’m stuck in always feeling like I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop when so many shit things have happened to me early in life. How am I suppose to be excited about what’s next?

I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I've spent the morning crying, and I feel like I don't deserve to. I feel like I'm a horrible person or a... you know. I'm so sick of this. I'm just so tired of everything. I don't see my psychiatrist until two weeks from now. How am I going to make it till then? :( Even writing this post, I feel like I'm deceiving everyone and that I'm actually a monster. I'm so convinced of this right now. I don't know what to do. I was literally okay a few days ago. I don't even know what's real and what's not, like... I think I do? But everything is so distorted. I can't stop replaying memories trying to figure things out. I really need my psychiatrist right now. I feel like I need to confess, like I've been trying so hard not to, but every person I see, I just keep thinking about how badly I want to ask them if I'm a bad person or not, and that makes me feel worse. A good person wouldn't feel the need to ask that over and over again, would they? What if I'm just seeking validation because I can't accept that?

I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭