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How can you know if you are really attracted to someone?

Does anyone else make a list of things that they have been told during arguments, or offhandedly, that upset them or just pops up during rumination? The lists also usually include, for me anyway, things like "don't do x, don't do y, make sure not to say z, you always (something someone said)" and I look at them any time I have confrontation with the person or experience a stressor that includes the person. Sometimes just when I am obsessing about a conversation that I had, or might have. I just can't help it, I want to make sure I don't mess up. I want to do everything I can to not be what my brain decides is Bad.

Here I am again after almost a year of thinking I was doing better but recently slumping back. Does anyone else constantly think of an event or mistake you made in the past and can’t let it go? I told my husband forever ago and he just wants me to let it go. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. But to me it’s like it’s the worst thing imaginable and that I’ve ruined his trust in me and I keep feeling like I should bring it up and there’s things I’m not telling him even though I have literally told him everything. Please help.

Me and my online boyfriend have been broken up for a week because our mental health wasn't going great and we need to focus on our health first. After countless of stress and overthinking of many doubts and waiting for him, I am having many many many unwanted thoughts of a past ex and I have many worries all at once. self harming (hitting my head) is usually what I do to punish or correct my mind for even thinking such thing like ex from 9th grade. But I feel like after hitting my head so much, it made it more worse? TikTok and other social stuff is not helping me rn after seeing "soul ties" of ex's, relationships or mercury retrograde and it worsens. It makes me anxiety more worse. I don't know what to do and I'm more terrified than ever. All I wanted to do is wait for my online bf and believe in the good possibilities and hopes between us especially hope that we would reconcile when we are ready. As you know I really love this online boy and would never cheat or hurt him. Idc if we are apart I will wait for him and still be there for him yk. But my thoughts are so messed up and it's bringing like a feeling or werid emotion :( like a rushy feeling of unwanted excitement I suppose. I'm literally stuck. I'm stuck with these thoughts and I don't know what to do.

It's like sometimes (only sometimes bc im mostly obsessing), I dont care how I feel in that moment. Like Iam numb to anything. There is not happiness or sadness. Like I dont care what happens to me, dont care about my friends, family, life. When I know deep down thats not how I really feel. In reality, I love my life and family so much. I just cant feel it at the moment. My poor husband and kids. I have to keep telling myself that is my OCD and that Iam a good person that does actually care about everything... Its so sad

I keep having unwanted sexual thoughts or images in my mind and its really stressing me and my compulsion is to avoid and block the tought the thing is that i am a believer i dont and if do erp i am supposed to facd my thought and let myself think abt it but my rocd male me feel that i will have sins and that i can not let myself think such things so idk what to do abt this sexual thoughts

does anyone have any tips on managing and controlling this? especially if you have said questionable things in the past or as a kid. A long 13 yr friendship of mine is ending and the ex friend really despises me.I can’t help but obsess and ruminate over what I could have possible done wrong even though they’re the one who said hateful things to me. I can’t help but wonder about all past friendships and ex friendships and whether it’s tied to me being a good/bad person. Does anyone have any advice on managing this? I try to reflect on different friendships and why it ended but still end up ruminating on my morality and self. Thank you ❤️

I just recently got into a new relationship. While we were still getting to know each other and before we started dating, I still had different guys adding me on snapchat. I added one guy back, went to open his snap, and it was an inappropriate picture. I immediately unadded him and stopped adding anyone else back. Now that me and my current boyfriend are dating, I feel like I “cheated” even though I didn’t and did not choose to see that image. My OCD is telling me I don’t deserve to be with him and to break up with him. The guilt is weighing on me and I want it to go away. Will this get better?

Lately since my obsession started (which has gotten out of control). I have not been able to function. I keep forgetting to do certain things. Forget where I put things, remembering certain dates. I am a mom to 2 beautiful kids. and I can’t even give my kids or husband the love they deserve bc of OCD. I feel terrible. I feel like my husband is going to eventually get tired of me and leave me. It’s sucks bc he has no idea how OCD affects the life of some many people. Some people have some forms, they can just let go quickly. But OCD like ours is another beast. Would not with this on my worst enemy.

This is a little embarrassing to talk about but I’m really worried. I feel embarrassed and I dont want to sound like I just expect s3x all the time. But a lot of the times that I make the first move with my partner, he rejects it. I wish I could just get over it quickly like a normal person but my rocd tells me it means he’s not attracted to me anymore or doesnt like me. I really dont know what to do. I get so anxious I’m sick to my stomach, and then it looks like I’m acting out because I didnt get s3x when I wanted to. What if that is what I’m doing? I don’t want to be a pervert. This has been an issue before and I’ve brought it up but the conversation never really goes anywhere and I’m just left confused. I dont want to bring it up because I dont want him to have pity s3x with me for some reason or feel like he is being forced. But I dont know how to get over this anxiety, especially when my self-esteem has plummeted lately. Am I being a baby? To clarify, we have had s* x before.

Anybody else have obsessive ruminations about their partner being a “moral” person? It doesn’t relate to God or a higher power but rather being obsessed about my partner not causing harm to others/ fighting for social good.

I’ve been struggling with POCD since I was 18 years old, I am now 22. It’s terrifying how quickly it switched from my ocd focusing on a fear of pregnancy, to magical thinking ocd, and then to POCD. I’ve been suffering with it so much so that I’ve convinced myself and have lost friends due to confession compulsions. I have major issues with ruminating, and it frequently goes hand in hand with my relationship OCD and my Suicidal thoughts OCD. (Worrying my partner will leave me because what if I am, and that I can’t take this anymore so I have to __) I often experience things like shame, guilt, grief, and intense emotional pain that manifests itself into nausea and heartburn and sometimes headaches. I’ve tried everything, so this app really is my last resort. I wish to find community here, to know that what I’m facing I’m not alone in my battles with. I know that I’m not, so why does my brain work so hard telling me I am? I love children, I always have. But I get so afraid of being near them. I want to get better. I want to be able to spend time with my family again.

I am always anxious and overthinking in my relationship I’m scared that it’s the Lords way of telling me he isn’t the one. I always hear that when you’re with the right person you’ll have peace about it and know that they’re the one.. but that freaks me out because I’m alwaysss overthinking and anxious 😭 I’m scared that he isn’t the one the Lord has for me

Has anyone here stopped taking hormonal birth control pill when in a relationship? How did it affect attraction to partner, sex, and ability to orgasm etc. I just stopped taking the birth control pill for medical reasons but I’m freaking out about how it might impact my sexuality/ attraction

Hi everybody I have a quick question. I have been dating for a while and unfortunately we had to break up because of all the fights and troubles. We also had really really nice moments and I am pretty sad it didn't work out. Mostly had something to do with me boyfriends past. I have always been an overthinker, had lots of anxiety and stress etc. But last year was really bad sometimes. Now my question is; I am so scared due to all the stress (alternating with really good moment) causing cancer. Stress was always just 1 or 2 days, so not months on end. But I know stress decreaseds your immunsystem and therefore can cause cancer. I am not looking for reassurance regarding if stress does or does not cause cancer. But what I wanted to know is: is it my fault when eventually I do get cancer due to the stress? It was really a mix of things and the breakup was nobody's fault but it feels so annoying that now I don't have a boyfriend anymore and maybe I get cancer from all the stress... so I am beating myself up for not ending it sooner. There was no physical fight or anything, it just didn't work out and we both know this is for the best. Still I am mad at myself for all the stress I caused myself

I feel like me and my best friend and ending for many reasons but when I talk to her about it she says it’s really all in my head and she doesn’t feel it at all. What is going on??

As soon as I wake up in the morning all I have in my head are these thoughts and it gives me an awful pit in my stomach. My brain tells me ‘you love someone else that you used to speak to’ ‘you want to be with them and not your partner’ the quotes go on. I love my current partner and I want these thoughts gone. I have had enough.

I’ve been with my partner since November of 2022. In the beginning, we had great times together and I can still say that I truly care about him. However, my feelings for him started to decline a few months after we were dating but I was scared to cut things off because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. With my harm OCD, I would have intrusive thoughts about him, but I know deep inside that I really do care for him, but I’m not sure if I’m in love with him. I’m now trying to figure out if it’s my OCD that’s making me want to break up with him to stop having these intrusive thoughts, or if I genuinely want to. Has anybody else gone through this? Some advice would help!

Hey, all. I’m feeling really terrible right now and feeling utterly alone. So, I’ve been dating this guy for a couple months. He has been so great. He’s treated me well and we have had a lot of fun. However, my mental health got super terrible when we got together. I realized I started experiencing pretty bad ROCD a month in. The doubts about the relationship and the uncertainty got debilitating. But, I was committed to making the best of things and being with him although I was feeling a lot of emotional turmoil. Anyways, I decided to bring up a pretty uncomfortable topic recently with him, regarding our relationship, like any normal couple would do. I asked him if I could call him my boyfriend and it lead to us talking about the relationship in general. He said he really really likes me and wants to continue things with me but doesn’t want a relationship over the summer because he has trouble with long distance, as his last relationship failed when he went long distance. Him telling me this has turned my world upside down. I’m worried everything is ruined and that we have lost everything and I have to move on. I don’t know how to cope with this. All of my friends and family says he is an idiot and is ruining everything. With underlying ROCD, I know my decisions could be seriously biased. My mind is so quick to think everything is ruined. However, in reality, what he said is a big deal. It’s caused so much pain, sadness, and hurt, as I had assumed that he wanted a relationship with me. Anyways, I know how all this sounds but please, if anyone is there, I desperately need someone to talk to. I am not feeling great and am feeling so alone. I want to tell him my feelings but I’m worried I’ll ruin everything.

Today was so nice, I had a girl who I’ve like for so long at my house today and she was hugging me and laid in bed with me. My heart was racing everytime she laid with me. Life didn’t feel real. She made me hard every time she was on me. But then when she left I got the scared thought that what if I don’t really love her and what if I’m gay and bring a guy home one day. What does this mean.