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I don’t think my partner is funny & this is what my OCD *loves* to latch onto & it makes me feel so sick. Haven’t felt this sick in a while & it sucks. Anyone else?

Hi ! Does anyone have intrusive thoughts of being betrayed and imagining the worse case scenario until feeling that it could be true, having trouble to trust your partner, friend and family ?? Is it part of ROCD ?

Hi everyone! I wanna share something that’s really helped me & it’s to stop the cycle of rumination. It’s easier said than done but that’s usually what gives me the most anxiety. A thought only lasts a second… it’s what you do with that thought that brings a whole deal of anxiety… at least for me. Of course there’s times where I catch myself ruminating and stop myself from it but I’m working on it. It’s hard when the thought feels so real that I have to check and analyze the memory that comes with the thought to figure out what I was thinking at that time but obviously this gets me now where. Thankfully after two long, hard weeks the sensation I had in my chest and body lowered immensely. I still don’t know how to accept the fact that I can be gay bc I have a boyfriend that I am terrified of losing so if I just accept that I might be gay that will ruin everything. If anyone has any tips on this lmk!!!! I think what’s the hardest for me is getting memories from when I was younger and trying to figure out why I did some of the stuff I did. Sometimes I get reassurance that I’m straight but often I get even more questions and anxiety. It’s like this is the one thing keeping myself from living a happy life with my bf… once I figure this out I will not feel anxious about anything else. It’s hard man. We can do this & we got this!!!!

my boyfriend is perfect. i cant believe how happy i am. but my ocd has this image of his ex gf and doesn’t drop it. Even tho she went insane at the end, they dated for 4+years. it just makes me feel like our experiences even cute aren’t original. i just want to let myself be happy but her face and etc is stuck inside my brain. i even stopped stalking but it didn’t really help. help.

I had very very bad se*ual dream about someone I shouldn't have. Does my dreams show what I actually want? why even it came in my mind

I am not sure why, but here lately (the last couple of days) I have been feeling irritated with my partner. In fact it’s not just with my partner, it’s with everything. Unfortunately this is bothering me because it’s almost as if I feel numb to my partner. The thought of being with him either causes me to feel anxiety or I feel nothing at all. Just typing this is making me anxious. I haven’t exactly had a direct intrusive thought related to the feelings I am experiencing but I fear that this means I should leave my partner. I fear that the irritation I feel could mean that I don’t really love him or that something is wrong. I wish I could ignore this but I find it hard to. In a way I almost don’t want to talk to him which makes me feel guilty and flat out terrible. I keep asking myself if this is just ROCD playing another trick on me or if I should actually leave him. The thought of doing so makes me very upset, it hurts my heart. I don’t want to hurt him because I truly don’t want to leave my partner in general. I love him very much, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. I want to be happy with my partner and enjoy the beautiful relationship we have. But because of all the anxiety I experience, I find it hard to do that. Something worth mentioning is that I have been without a medication that I normally take. I take Zoloft and unfortunately I haven’t had it for a little over a week. I am unsure but could the lack of medicine make me feel this way? Either way I have no clue, but I am desperate to feel truly happy in this relationship. Any thoughts or tips would be greatly appreciated! -Thank you :)

This is not ocd but I just want some advice So basically I sometimes maybe like twice or three times called my boyfriend by one of my male friends name. My boyfriends name is Ryan and my friends name is Hector and sometimes I’ll be with my boyfriend and say “hec” and he notices and gets sad and I feel horrible :/

I constantly have thoughts about my wife's features. In a negative way that leaves me with anxiety and guilt. Then the thoughts change from divorce to finding other people attractive... but I don't want to leave my wife I love her.. I feel so stuck in the web I can't get out of I obsesse about these thoughts all the time... she's a terrific person we been married for 13 years any advice?

Hey guys, does anyone know if OCD gets worse during times of conflict, specifically unspoken stuff? My partner is really resistant to talking things out and instead chooses to ignore our problems, which makes things awkward and tense. She told me she puts things off because of her parents relationship, but at a certain point it feels like an excuse for her not to even try. This has been going on for 3 years, and our conflicts still feel the same. Me bringing up a problem or situation, and her seeming annoyed and apologizing in a tone that’s clearly upset. If she thinks I’m wrong then I wanna hear that, cus I prefer to discuss both our feelings. I’ve asked her for that, I’ve asked her to meditate, journal, etc in her free time too, but she doesnt do it. I know she cares but it doesnt feel like she knows how to care sometimes. I feel like I need to leave so that I can focus on my recently diagnosed OCD, and so I can feel like myself again. I don’t think its ROCD, i actually think I’ve been convincing myself to stay in something that I’m not happy in. I always assumed it was me just having commitment issues, and to hold on and push thru it. At this point it feels like I can’t stand to be in this relationship anymore. This is probably not the best place for this post, but maybe someone relates.

Hi there, I'm new to this site and just starting therapy with nocd. I have a therapist outside of nocd that specializes in ocd with cognitive behavior therapy, sound baths, rapid eye movement and hypnosis in particular. She is amazing, she doesn't force me to do things that bring me panic, and I have come a long way with allowing myself limited exposure therapy on my own terms. My husband is at the end of the line dealing with my "control" issues with contamination worries. I have begged for couples therapy so he could maybe understand that I didn't choose this and that the panic is so severe that I don't have a choice but to cave into my fears, but he wants no part of it and thinks there is nothing wrong with him or thinks he's been understanding. Backstory is that I had my ocd well managed until I was pregnant with my little one and he was diagnosedwith a heart defect in utero. Diagnosis changed at birth and we were thrown head first into a very serious and immediate trauma. We were life flighted out of state, hand washed like crazy, had complication after complication, no sleep, handed my 5 day old baby over to a surgeon I had met 3 times for open heart surgery. 17 days of living in a hospital and beeping machines and intense fear that goes so far beyond what you could ever imagine as a first time parent. Flash forward to finally coming off ng feeding tube, tongue tie clip, partially paralyzed left diaphragm, oxygen dependent until 4 months old, pulse ox until 9 month old. Back to work at only 3 months. To say it was traumatic is a huge understatement. Flash forward again 3 years, husband hospital and diagnosed with heart failure not to mention how bad things got with worry during covid. I just don't know how to get it through to him how hard I am trying, how much I hate this, how awful the panic attacks are if I don't cave. My most overwhelming fear is of mice and hantavirus and we have had mice problems in out house th3 entire time hes lives here. Remodeled kitchen 3 years ago, so none in the house, but not so confident about the garage and yard. I freak out if he wabts to work in the yard or inbthe garage, make him shower, wash clothes 2-3 times, I clean his path from the door to shower while hes showering and then shower myelf. I want to get better, but he wants it like overnight. Any advise on things that have helped you make people in your life understand where you are coming from and where your heart is? I don't want to end my marriage, but I have been there for him through thick and thin and he's basically giving me an ultimatum that I can't fulfill at this time, and I can't promise him that I will ever be 100% either, but I'm giving all that I can. He thinks I've made zero progress and that I'm not trying at all. I'm feeling lost and sad. It's exhausting andbI know he feels like a prisoner, but I am terrified all the time. I can recognize that it's irrational and mostly unlikely, but hantavirus does kill people and we have that type of mice in our state not too far away. It is not a problem here, but I'm stuck on this fear and I cannot budge from it. It irrational but also not worth my sons life so in my mind totally rational, he's only 6 and getting closer and closer to his 2nd open heart surgery. Sorry, that was a book.

Anyone struggling with RJ?

Yesterday i noticed the bad habbit in my family what made me suffer throughout my life. Im struggling with being kind and relating with love to myself, i dont say i hate myself, but i dont know what is actually loving yourself feels, or being kind. I always interpret it as a feeling, cause love is a feeling, but when im down i cant feel the love cause either im sad or im angry, and its impossible to feel love when you feel anger. So its been weeks now that something has slowly building up in me, and the last drop to it was when i was talking with my brother and he said i dont do nothing, i never do this i never do that, and this shit makes me angry cause no matter how many times you do something, one time you say no, you never did anything, you never helped them, that one time i didnt do something erases the other times i did it, and this happens alot of times in my family. Its always that i dont do nothing, i just lay in bed, yet i have i job, i have my own money and its been years that my parents doesnt have to give me any money, yet i dont do anything and i dont deserve any praise. Whats funny is that last week we bought a car and I paid almost half of the price of the car and i didnt even heard a "thank you" from my dad. But i heard today "you dont do anything" again. And when i tell them what i do, its always "this is normal this doesnt deserve praise". Yesterday was the time i realized that im not actually loved. Im only good if i do something really big, me having a job and having my own money is normal, i dont deserve love for that... it was so traumatizing, when i hit me that im not actually loved, and this made me so sad and since than it feels like im overreacted cause im keep spinning about it and i dont have alot of energy, it really stressed me out.i even thought about moving but im hesitant with it cause i dont have anyone to move with, i would live alone which is a bad idea. Loneliness would make things worse. But i think this is just an overreaction, not the sadness, but the thinking about moving and all that. And that i feel really bad for a long time now, its just makes me powerless, i know that this means i dont process these feelings in the right way. Im really grumpy and i dont want to talk with anyone, expecially with my family. Can you give me advicea what should help me go through this and not overreact it, just move through it soberly? Also i want to learn how to love myself, what it means and how to be kind with myself without cringing or feeling like im avoiding the problem, im just being nice with myself...

I just want to be happy with my boyfriend and I genuinely don’t know what to do. How will I get over this… every time I find some peace something from my past comes to haunt me and I always find a reason as to why that means I’m gay. Every time I think well I’ve liked guys my whole life I convince myself that it was all fake. This sucks and I’m so tired of this. I want 100% certainty and I don’t know how to be okay without it. It wouldn’t be fair to him if I’m gay and I hurt him down the road. The last thing I would ever want to do it hurt him that’s why I want to figure this out and be done with it once and for all

My partner and I have not been having much s*x lately, and when it seems like something is about to happen I start to feel uncomfortable and nervous instead of excited. Is this normal?

I’m really struggling right now with an obsession over my partner’s voice. It probably is slightly rooted in truth because my partner does have a more high pitched and nasally/whine to his voice, but I think I’ve become hyper aware and hyper sensitive of it. Now I keep playing over everything he says in my mind. if I think it sounded whiny or odd in some way. And I don’t know what to do. I like him a lot and I really don’t want to be obsessing about this. I don’t want it to bother or annoy me. I just want to love him for him. But everywhere I look it seems to be that people suggest others to just leave. I don’t want to do that. I just want to stop being bugged or turned off by his voice. I don’t want to obsess over it. I don’t even know if this is ROCD. I wish I could fix this.

So today I was typing a message on my phone and my boyfriend is playful sometimes and likes to try and get on my nerves a little bit, so he started tapping on the screen and I pushed his hand away (maybe a little too aggressively) and said “stop it.” I was getting genuinely annoyed so I walked across the room where he followed me and then started playfully hitting my arm. I said stop and he did it a couple more times then stopped and at that point I was already overthinking (abuse is a common obsession for me; sometimes I’ll even get painful sensations for a long time after in the places he barely touched me) and started asking reassurance questions like “why were you hitting me?” etc. He said I was hitting back, which tbh I don’t even remember if I was—I don’t think I was—and basically just tried to calm me down. We’ve been dating for over 3 years, so he’s very familiar with the way I act and things I say when I’m obsessing. It’s just stressing me out so much, we play fight all the time and I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I have a really hard time trusting him and my brain just ticks every time something like this comes up.

I have been going over how my ocd will affect a future relationship. The things I struggle with in my OCD is cleaning and contamination. There are times where when I feel at my worst, I have to wash any cooking or eating utensil/dish/pan/pot multiple times. I think the max amount of times I have washed a single bowl alone in one wash is 17 times. That's just a bowl. I also when cleaning use gloves that they use at doctor's offices and/or hospitals. It helps me to feel like I won't need to wash or complete a compulsion(s). So my question is would I be enabling myself or no because I am constantly going over in my head what I should be doing or not being doing and it's always so exhausting.

I’m so tired of my thoughts. Some days I feel better, no thoughts or just a few, some other days I feel like I’m totally in denial and I’m hiding this part of myself to me but above all to the people around me, especially my boyfriend. I can’t really stand anymore the presence of these thoughts, make me feel I won’t be happy in my life never again and this makes me feel super depressed, I’m afraid I can develop depression. ROCD and SOOCD make me doubt myself and my feelings, and every time I see a case where a person find out later in life to be gay I literally start to cry. I can’t stand this anymore, really. I’m in therapy actually, so it is better compared to a few months ago, but I always question if it’s really ocd or not.

I'm in a relationship since November with a wonderful guy. I'm in a flare up right now. I'm very scared about the persisting thoughts on whether I love him or not, and I also still have some SO-OCD thoughts. Also, I'm thinking about changing therapy and try a new one (who does erp in the right way, I hope), so it's all very confusing. I didn't want to share my ocd themes with him because he is already dealing with some difficult stuff and I'm also scared he wouldn't want to stay in the relationship with me or he would see me in a different way. At the same time, it's so difficult to "hide" something like this... I'm afraid it will take me away from him anyway

i have recently had really bad confession ocd. i have an amazing happy healthy relationship, and i’m slowly destroying it. now, it’s come as far as me confessing thoughts that i probably shouldn’t be having to him. i feel so much guilt and anxiety if i don’t tell him, but telling him is just ruining our relationship and hurting him. i don’t mean these thoughts, i love him and want only him. i also confess at least 5+ times a day. I struggle with not even knowing if some things im confessing that i’ve done in the past are real or fake. it’s like i don’t know if what i did was real or not. im trying my best to stop confessing, but it’s hard because how am i supposed to know if it’s something he really needs to know or not? i don’t wanna lose him by telling him stupid stuff i should have kept to myself. he’s my dream person. it’s hard to act normal around him when i’m having the urge to confess. that leads me to not hold it in when he asks if i’m okay, because then if i say yes i’m lying so then i have to confess. we are very open about things, but it just has gone too far on my end. if anyone has any tips on how to overcome this please share.