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Can SOOCD start from a feeling of false attraction? Feeling like I’m the only one whose started this way making me think I’m in denial :( another tough day of rumination!

how i get over not finding my girl attractive? ion like ts. it gives me way too much anxiety & it starts to make me feel distanced or cold towards her. honestly it makes me feel vv guilty idk . she dont deserve sb who dont find her beautiful 24/7 …genuinely whats this fix?

Does anyone else ever just get caught in bed all day to avoid everything? I know it’s avoidance, but I called out of work for really no reason besides I didn’t want to deal with my stress, anxiety and then my SO-OCD. Anyone else do this? How do you get out of this funk and back into life?

Can I get an opinion? Was in a friendship with a dude a while back and my OCD is latching onto whether the dude was good or abusive. I can’t tell. Like, if I were to see him again, should I be afraid or not because it’s just OCD telling me to be afraid? He called me crazy, said I was a psychopath, & gaslit me. But he also invited me to things, made funny jokes with me, & called me one of his best friends once. So confusing. SMH. He did more but this is a glimpse of the main things he did.

I try to tell my bf how he hurts my feelings and he responds in a cold way with a very emotionless apology and when I am still upset about it and the way he responded he says what I already apologized and I continue being upset about how insensitive he is being and isn’t being sensitive or comforting me and he sounds annoyed that I’m still not over it so I’m even more upset and then later on he accuses me of mistreating him bc at that point I am really worked up and raising my voice because I feel unheard. But it makes me think of how people describe deflecting or gaslighting and I’m so hurt and he says he wasn’t annoyed and that me thinking he has a tone of voice is racial bias. This is something that happens quite often when I share being hurt about something. And it makes me feel guilty for bringing up things that hurt my feelings or like guilty for bringing it up that I’m still upset after his bland apology. My biggest fear is being in an ab*sive relationship and I’m so scared that it’s true. Because I know it’s really messed up and I’m so upset

I just reposted this on my TikTok but feel like I need to unrepost it (I do this with every post and it has to feel right and like it’s in the right place) but I started getting thoughts because I know my bf is going to see it like I don’t want him to think it’s about him and I’m getting scared it’s going to hurt his feelings Because obviously I would never shoot a man but it’s making me think does that mean I would and that I’m a bad person for reposting like I’m getting scared that I want to hurt him or something But it’s just a TikTok thing that’s going round about the “man or a bear” But now I feel like a bad person for having an opinion but I never commented on this trend before

I’ve been feeling really down recently as the guy I like a lot left me and told me a bunch of basically lies to make me feel better then go and sleep with a girl who was engaged 3 days ago broke up with her fiancé/boyfriend 2 days ago to then sleep with him. I went out last night and the boyfriend was on bar. Now there’s rumours he’s not a nice guy, but there’s also rumours she’s a really horrible fucjing person. They live together and everything. They were sleeping together in their bed, they only broke up a few days ago. This made me feel horrendous, as someone who would’ve done anything for the boy, who literally told him how much he means to her, he left me to go and just sleep around when he said to my face that’s not what he was going to do. I know it’s none of my business anymore, but the disrespect hurts, especially when everyone knows you. So I was sat in my feels and one of the men I know walks up to me and can see on my face I’m devastated. I say to him, “I don’t really have any say like we aren’t together” and he goes “yeah but he knows your feelings, he knows he hurt you and that’s not okay” and another one of my friends said “he lead you on for ages, telling you all these lies and playing with you to get what he wants and then fuck kff to her, you’re allowed to be upset” but I’m sat here thinking do I actually have any say in the matter. We were seeing one another before I left for travelling, I’ve come back and he’s completely shifted to this horrible person. He’s got everyone so angry, and so upset. For me it’s the way he lied, straight to my face “I’m not seeing anyone else hand on heart, I don’t want to I need to be single” then goes on a date the day after and then again 4 days later where he sleeps with her, and everyone knows. I had my friend tell me I’m golden like I deserve better than him and that he’s not worth my time which is so true and I’m done now. But knowing someone loves you, knowing someone has strong feelings for you, and to tell you about this girl who’s “just a friend” and then to sleep with her days after you have your final goodbye meeting where he says that he’s focusing on himself and that it wasn’t me he just can’t see anyone at the moment, that he’s realised he needs to just grow, to then go and do that? I have the right to feel a bit upset about it, right? To have everyone in the pub tell you what he’s getting up to, while you’re there thinking about how he once treated you, thinking I’m not worth anything that I’m not even attractive. I know we’re single and honestly that’s fine I can’t tell u who you can and can’t sleep with, but there was zero respect for anyone when he made this decision. It’s a very small town, for months I played the will we won’t we game, while I was away I didn’t know what I was coming back to and it took him and month to meet up and have the closure chat, after a half arsed discussion on text about what’s been going on, where he barely said anything but “I need to focus on myself”. Lies, you just want to fuck around and if you knew that, then you shouldn’t have been exclusive with me in the first place

Hi this is my first time posting but I’ve been struggling lately with myself because of my ocd. Has anyone ever realized they hold a lot of resentment towards others because their life isn’t controlled by ocd? For me, I’ve recently realized I have resentment towards my siblings because they live completely normal lives (i.e. dating, friendships, work) but I struggle just to be alive some days because my ocd holds me back. I feel so incredibly guilty about it all because I find myself being jealous over their happiness when I don’t think I’ve ever even been happy. I’m not sure what to do about this and it’s affecting my relationship with my family because I’ve started distancing myself from them due to the overwhelming negative feelings.

Hello everyone, It’s going to be a long shot but I’m in distress. I’ve had different themes since I was a child and my first rocd episode was with my first love was when I was 18 ( I’m now 33) when one of my friends asked me if I truly loved him. I couldn’t stop crying for months, it was the most terrifying experience. ROCD left me for a couple of years, I had somatic OCD, Health OCD and when I was 26 with my ex I experienced the second ROCD episode that was absolutely horrifying. I was driving back home when this thought popped in « do you really love him? » and it was the beginning of hell. One and a half year of 24 hours ruminating. I wasn’t myself anymore, I couldn’t function properly and he left me. I went backpacking in SEA and had fun, met a lot of guys and had also couple of one night stands. In 2018 I decided to settle in Indonesia and I was « ocd » free until I met my ex and we got into a relationship. After 6 months in the relationship and finally knowing learning about ROCD (didn’t know until 2018) I realized what I was suffering from. He cheated on me and left me, but the ROCD was pretty debilitating. In 2023, I met my now husband. We met in 2020. He’s the kindest, loving person I’ve ever met. The day he told me he loved me I freaked out because I was just enjoying the beginning of our relationship. I started SSRI’s (escitalopram) and therapy in 2021 during the pandemic and it helped me. But we had to continue increasing my dose because my OCD is so strong. 2022, we decide to get engaged, I go home for the holidays and I started watching atypical on Netflix. One of the main characters left her boyfriend because she fell in love with a girl and I was like « what if this happens to me » and I started questioning my sexuality and since that day I’m spiraling between ROCD and SOOCD. We got married last May, it was a wonderful wedding I didn’t have any distressing thoughts or any doubts. After the wedding I relapsed and I wondered if I rushed the decision to marry him making me doubt about our whole relationship since ROCD didn’t leave me since the beginning of our relationship. What if I married someone I didn’t love truly ? Why am I not feeling any sexual desire for him ? Am I not supposed to at least desire him a bit ! What if I’be been in denial forever and this is why I always doubted the feelings for my partners in my relationship because I actually don’t like men ? I’ve been scanning my whole life and I’m spiraling it doesn’t stop even on 20mg escitalopram and 50mg of fluvoxamine ! I can’t say I’m unhappy in my marriage but why am I always obsessing about everything ? Why am I feeling something is missing ? If it’s not him it’s going to be about my sexuality : I can’t even look at other girls now without being triggered !!!!!!! I’m so tired, I’ve spent the last 25 years of my life in my head ! When will this end ! I married my best friend, yet I’m still unsure if I really love him it’s just horrible and I feel so guilty ! I’m desperate Thank you for reading 😭

I’m starting to feel like I need to grieve the idea of being a mom. With this disorder (especially the theme I have) I feel like there’s no way I could move past this; put it behind me and have a happy life with a partner and kids. Even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want to mess up my kids by not being able to be present and don’t feel like I would ever find a person to fall in love with who would put up with this part of me. And I wonder if maybe I’ve made marriage and kids an idol in my life and maybe I just need to lay it down at Gods feet and accept that it may never happen for me. I guess that’s part of accepting uncertainty huh. It’s so hard bc that’s all I’ve ever dreamed of my whole life, but these past few months have shattered my idea of what my life would be like.

When i play video games, i start to feel so guilty and bad. Because i feel like playing video games will make me a bad person, a rageful, angry person and that will lead me to be the person i hate. I feel like if i play games, it will make me an unfaithful, narcissist, angry, rageful person and it will ruin my future, my academy and it will lead me to do things i don't want. I feel like im becoming someone horrible. Other than that i extremely fear being like my mother. Im truly scared of that. I don't want to be angry, harmful to everyone around me. I don't want to be a narcissistic person who rants about everything for hours, gets angry at the smallest thing, blames people, belittles them. I especially don't want to hurt my partner. Im scared to hurt kids and animals, im scared of anger. When i get angry sometimes, i feel extremely guilty and bad. And i feel like im the most terrible person alive. Other than these, im scared to see my partner, my love for him as an exaggeration, i feel like i won't care about him or say "he is not a big deal, i don't mind not loving, hurting him" etc. Im scared to be like the people who hurts their partner, never cares about their partner, see them as a tool.

Is making a plan how you will tell your partner it’s over a compulsion?

I have rocd which makes me feel like I’m not attracted to my boyfriend But now I have done something wrong and I’m trying not to self harm because of it I keep seeing this guy at the gym who I had a thing with when me and my boyfriend weren’t together and we’ve been talking loadsss when we see eachother and its very flirty I have told my boyfriend whenever this happens but haven’t told him about it yesterday because he said if it happens again he will break up with me and also he’s going through stuff so really don’t wanna make him upset I hold my hands up and know I shouldn’t keep ACTING on the thoughts because that’s when it’s bad But I just get so scared that I’m not in love with my boyfriend of nearly 4years idk what to do I see a future with him but feel like he deserves much better than me now and that I’ve ruined it and that it’s not real because I’ve been disrespectful And like when I’m with him I’m not thinking about the other guy or anything and like I’m genuinely happy with him but sometimes I get thoughts everytime I say “I love you” that’s like: “no you don’t “ or “you’re lying” “you’re not attracted to him” Don’t know what’s wrong with me just want to love my boyfriend peacefully but I’m the one ruining it like why don’t I have self control

I have rocd which makes me feel like I’m not attracted to my boyfriend But now I have done something wrong and I’m trying not to self harm because of it I keep seeing this guy at the gym who I had a thing with when me and my boyfriend weren’t together and we’ve been talking loadsss when we see eachother and its very flirty I have told my boyfriend whenever this happens but haven’t told him about it yesterday because he said if it happens again he will break up with me and also he’s going through stuff so really don’t wanna make him upset I hold my hands up and know I shouldn’t keep ACTING on the thoughts because that’s when it’s bad But I just get so scared that I’m not in love with my boyfriend of nearly 4years idk what to do I see a future with him but feel like he deserves much better than me now and that I’ve ruined it and that it’s not real because I’ve been disrespectful And like when I’m with him I’m not thinking about the other guy or anything and like I’m genuinely happy with him but sometimes I get thoughts everytime I say “I love you” that’s like: “no you don’t “ or “you’re lying” “you’re not attracted to him” Don’t know what’s wrong with me just want to love my boyfriend peacefully but I’m the one ruining it like why don’t I have self control

I’m about to go on a trip with my partner and the last time we went my POCD flared up like crazy. I couldn’t enjoy any of our time together and he super noticed and I’m worried that I’ll ruin everything all over again. Idk I might take a journal with me to help. What do I do?

I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.

Anyone have any advice for me on how I can help myself and my husband with our marriage in regard to me and my mental health and brain constantly sabotaging and making things worse? Struggling and upset…. Words of help and advice much appreciated ❤️‍🩹

Hello my OCD/ROCD community. Today is my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend which in a lot of ways makes it my 1 year anniversary of dealing with ROCD. I wanted to take some time to process this journey and share some of the takeways that have come along the way. Righting this right now two hours away from our date I am feeling: excited, anxious, hopeful, fearful, and a whole mix of things. Kind of life most things in life huh? But anyways, let me get into it. 1. Digging into my ROCD and dealing with it head on opened up a new world of healing. Realizing the things I was so quick to judge my partner on we're the same things I am so quick to judge myself on. The thing that ultimately led to giving my partner more grace was giving myself more grace. 2. In most things in life we have mixed feelings. We rarely feel 100% happy about something without any other emotions (like fear, anxiety, hesitancy etc.) but when we experience that nuanced emotion in our relationship we assign meaning to it. That meaning is what creates anxiety. 3. I don't care what that girls instagram post says, her boyfriend is not perfect. We like to talk about relationships in absolutes which, are really never true. "He is always smiling!" "He is always kind." "I never doubted even once" Every single human person has flaws and that will always create moments of tension, or misunderstanding, or disappointment. That is simply life, and truly if your partner actually was perfect, there would be no opportunities for growth, so I would not wish that on yourself. 4. You can survive anxious moments, you do it all the time. At work, with friends, with family, you have had many an anxious moment. Someone much wiser than me once said, "what we feel to be true is often just a reflection of what we fear to be true." Read that again. 5. Your relationship does not have to be perfect to be good. Your partner does not have to be perfect to be good. You do not have to be perfect to be good. 6. You are perfectly capable of making decisions that align with your values in the midst of anxiety. Your feelings are not the most representation of what you truly want OVERALL. You can want something and be committed to it and not feel strongly about it in a moment, or even have negative feelings at times. This is just life. Let yourself be human. 7. Whatever happens in your relationship you will survive, and clinging onto compulsions does not minimize future pain, it only ensures present suffering. I know it's hard, but resist compulsions. It is really the only way. 8. Have so much grace and compassion for yourself. 9. More certainty does not actually equate to more correctness. You can be 100% certain about something that is totally incorrect. Certainty is not the security we have been tricked into believing it is. 10. Finally, breath work actually helps. If your like me you may have thought it was super hippie-dippy but it actually is huge. Locate where in your body you are feeling the anxiety and focus first on calming the physical sensation before anything else, I promise it will help. There truly is so much more I could say but I am going to stop it there, if no one else tells you today just know I am proud of you. You have overcome much more than this, and you are never alone!

Ugh, just ugh. Back story : I’m not in the best relationship. Bf struggles with ADHD and anger issues and I struggle with OCD, PTSD, Anxiety, ptsd from domestic violence and abuse from my father. I feel like because often there are fights that leave me feeling like there’s no hope and I’m always gonna be in these situations; also bc I can never leave bc then I’d have to live with my dad, which is impossible I’d rather seriously expire. It’s just not safe for me, but I’m in this situation now and I live with him and his older brother and his wife. Also, totally afraid regardless if I should be or not that if I ever brought up breaking up ever it would be bad and no one would help me out at all. That’s probably mostly the trauma but I can think any other way honestly. But things get better and I try and I do love him. Anyways, I feel like because of this if any guy treats me with respect and is actually interested in what I say… I like obsess over them or something like definitely a lot of pure o checking in my head and it’s exhausting and I feel gross and I feel evil and I feel awful. I just wish this stuff would stop. I wish I could make better decisions. I wish this wasn’t apart of my life :( ocd is tough af. I’m tough as nails and it’s so exhausting. So mentally tiring. There’s this guy I’ve known since I’ve known my bf and he was interesting and we have common interests anyways. They’re friends ofc and when he comes over it’s just hell for my mind no matter how proactive I try to be. There’s always this chance that “he could be my soul mate” “he could share the same feelings” and then like things go bad between me and my bf and I’ll have dreams about his friend and I’m like wtf which if I have a dream I remember I think it must be a sign. “It must be a sign” should be tatted on my head. Any wise words? Am I awful? How can I stop this? Bc I’m trying, probably not hard enough. I have my boundaries and try to control myself as much as possible but it’s hard too bc I’m very kind and outgoing and we have a lot in common, and my relationship is toxic at times. Idk man I’m tired. I could go on and on about this but yeah just wanted to get it off my chest and feel heard tbh.

does anyone here also struggle with sexuality ocd as a queer individual? i’ve mostly seen people talk about it from a heterosexual perspective but i haven’t seen or heard much from those who identify as queer or lgbtq and such. i’ve struggled with comphet (compulsive heterosexuality) since i was a kid however have always been confident from a young age that my attraction and desire in romantic relationships is exclusive to women even after trying to like & date men. though, recently, i’ve been having so many intrusive thoughts about the men i’ve interacted with. i am okay with male friendships however the thought of being with a man repulses me and makes me nauseous. i keep going back and forth in my head to “check” how i feel by forcing myself to think about situations that include men. it is becoming incredibly exhausting and i wish it would just go away. i just want to know i’m not alone