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I struggle a lot with ROCD and I'm so worried that I'm burdening my partner with these issues I have. He hasn't told me that or anything but I'm so worried that I'm letting him down by being so scared. Anyone relate?

…waiting for someone you already meant spiritually… it’s hard. I just want to physically be with them and I can’t. Even with all the knowledge I have about them…temporarily cope. Having activities/self work has helped a lot, ive created healthy boundaries with myself while remaining completely open in expressing myself. Perfection doesn’t exist So here I am having a hard time tolerating… tolerating that they aren’t physically here… yet?. …also I sincerely hate intrusive OCD. At least I grinned at this meme 🥴. I’m going to 💤 ✌🏼 yall.

Hi all, recently became stuck on the idea of my wife and I splitting up, and the impact on our dynamic and our child. We have a very healthy relationship, and have been together over a decade. I love her completely and am typically a golden retriever type partner. She's everything to me and then some, which is why these thoughts are so distressing. I've never done therapy, and recently tried antidepressants which spiked my anxiety through the roof so I stopped. I've been dealing with with this for about 3 months. In my constant googling I came across Pure O and ROCD, and based on all I've read seems to align with my experience. This may be reassurance seeking, but would love to celebrate success stories of others who have been able to overcome the intrusive thoughts and find peace. This feels like such a lonely subtype because I can't fully share with and lean on my best friend who I'm used to telling everything to. I'm also not used to needing support. I'm usually the supporter.

Is it ocd or is it denial I don't get what ifs and I wasn't diagnosed with ocd I went to the pych twice and part me just doesn't want to be tru that I'm might be a p and using ocd just for me not to believe it. Im going to go again and if they say I am a p I'm going to end it because that's a scary thought and I'm also worried about my relationship with my boyfriend he is 6 years younger then me and I'm 27 and he's 21 I met him when he was 19 turning 20 and I was 25 turning 26. I'm tired and I don't want sympathy I just needed to type this out it's been getting on my nerves a lot and I think everyday of breaking up with him fear of judgement. He does act very immature I don't know what do with my life myself and the people around me and making friends is not my cup of tea everytime im around new people I feel like I'm hiding a big secret and I don't want to get close to anyone and just makes me feel bitter because people just be normal and not have these intrusive thoughts pop up and lm like why me why why me. And I just push everyone away I can't stand myself either I'm fat and eating is what really what makes me happy no one knows what I go through and I can't talk about it I'm afraid of getting shunned or that I won't get better and actually seek help that I know I need I've feel like I have no control over my life I'm 27 no job I don't have my own place my sisters are doing better then me I probably sound selfish I want to get better and it if is just ocd it would be a sigh of relief and I can work through my issues. I have more I want to say but this part of my truth

I was drunk once when me and my boyfriend had sex, he wasn't, but while being sober I told him that I am okay if we have sex while I have had alcohol. Afterwards, while still drunk, I told him that I think we shouldn't have sex whole I'm drunk anymore just because I feel sick afterwards from the alcohol and also just because I decided that it was overall not a good idea in general (nothing bad happened but I did get super sleepy.) My ocd has recently though hyperfixated on the idea that my boyfriend has sa'd me when I don't feel like he has (other posts give explanation as to that situation.) is this bad?? I was drunk again and we teased eachother but it didn't go father than that and when I told him we should stop, we did. jokes were still made and stuff but otherwise nothing happened. I feel like my ocd is just getting worse and worse about this whole thing. making me feel things about him I don't actually believe and think things happened that didn't. please give me advice

Conversations about cancellations and public figures being rightfully criticized for saying slurs when they were younger makes me unsure of how I should feel about my bf’s past. He said bad things like the f word when he was in middle school and it used to be normalized in his high school for non-black minorities to say the n word, including him, and a couple times since being with him he has accidentally said it. Idk it’s just conflicting… I think it’s wrong and he also knows that and is anti-homophobia, anti-racist, etc. but I don’t think it’s okay when people just write it off as “they were too young to know better” because I don’t agree with that. I guess it’s just something that I need to accept is a gray area.

I’ve been stressed a lot and not well rested… I’m feeling paranoid about everything and feeling like I’ll die if I don’t get reassurance. Idk if it’s ocd or valid fears, I know the patterns are the same as all my other OCD obsessions but these ones don’t fit into exact categories. Like, paranoid I’ll loose my job and be homeless, paranoid I’m doing a bad job and all my friends aren’t my friends and actually can’t stand me. I’m alone, I can’t talk to my sisters. Even if you can’t get reassurance, everyone needs someone in their life to talk to and to be there for them when they’re going through something hard. I feel like I do so long as what I’m struggling with isn’t to hard or too extreme, when I feel I need someone the most, that’s when I feel I can’t turn to anyone. And experience has taught me that, not just my own fears. So I isolate and the thoughts I’m having lately, I know the patterns of OCD, they hit all the sudden like a ton of bricks and it’s immense anxiety and thoughts that I should kms. Or that that is the only way out of the terror my life brings me. I am also AUDHD and have a very hard time functioning and holding down a job, much less getting a new job!!! I feel like I’m drowning and everything is overwhelming to the point of not actually being able to handle it. I’ve been sober for 10 days and don’t want to mess it up!!! I know reassurance won’t help in the long run, but if someone here could help me see I’m not alone, that would help in the long run. Thankyou.

Been having a hard few days. I’m visiting my long distance boyfriend and have had a lot of rocd thoughts since getting here. I just got this intrusive thought / feeling like I am not in love with him anymore / actually grossed out by him, like I don’t want him to touch me or kiss him. I hate this feeling and I absolutely love physical touch. Trying to picture our future no longer feels right like it used to since this relapse and I am just so worried and don’t know how to stop ruminating today 😣 posting here for some extra support

I had a dream and I feel very hopeless. I'm not sure if it was big portion or just the end of the dream but their was something romantic (it's uncomfortable to even type omfg) with my brother. I was just thinking about how since my brother is getting older, we have more in common and can be like actual friends. This is just so unsettling and rn I just want to stay away from everyone like my intrusive thoughts have been so bad and I'm tired man. I truly have gotten tired of fighting my brain and can't differentiate my thoughts from intrusive ones.

Has anyone’s OCD effect their sex life at all? I have SO OCD and it really have effected the intimacy with my bf because I get in my head to much. I think I need to work on that the most :(

I have recently started to have more frequent bouts of sexual dysfunction with my girlfriend, used to happen once in a blue moon but now seems to be unpredictable (one day yes one day no) and has been causing lots of stress which leads to increase in dysfunction i think (vicious cycle). I take clomipramine, increased dosage 3 ish months ago and this begun about a month ago, also unfortunately began using nicotine again around same time but plan to stop next week(dont know if this is relevant). I have been quite stressed about this and other things and when it comes time to perform, i cant even focus and am just worrying things wont work or something is wrong. I just want to go back to normal and not have one more (large, personally) thing to worry about. Any tips? Im a healthy young male who excercises regularly.

Personally ive never wanted to date someone younger then me. Ive always wanted to date someone my exact age or older (not too old) because thats just how ive been. (This post has become triggering and a bit of a vent :( But-since my real event happened. Ive been constantly googling and reading comments on other social medias about age gaps. Specifically two year age gaps. Without going into too much detail i had a a group of online friends and we were in this age range (16-18.) because of the things that happened my pocd is extremely bad and even though i never had any desire to date any of my younger friends or any of my friends in general my ocd has latched onto this specific obsession with age gaps and it makes me sick because of what happened specifically with one of my younger friends, even though i never dated or ever wanted to date them. They were always just a friend. But this obsession is still there and im really struggling with it. And i feel gross and nasty for even being friends in the first place which isn’t right because they and my other younger friends i knew at the time were nice people. Now that im writing it all out i just keep comparing myself to my cocsa event that happened to me when i was a kid. I wont go into detail obviously but the kid that hurt me then was also two years older than me (i was 8 he was 10 :( And maybe this obsession is also because of that? Ik when my real event happened i kept comparing myself to him and how im like him now-my brain is telling me im just asking or sympathy ot worse as excuse as i mention this but i dont want to believe that-i dont even know what im talking about anymore im just very triggered right now. I just feel like what happened lumps me in with that kid now. I feel like a few people on here can relate to this obsession with age gaps? If you do how do you deal with it so you can stop? Because it seems that even telling my brain and reminding myself that i never want to be in that kind of relationship-it still doesn’t matter. Has anyone had experiences like this i hate feeling like im the only one

I use self pleasure as a coping method…temporarily release/relief. I can become hyperactive within a day that can lead to days… tbh I’ve done this since I was a child and well to unknowingly but feeling wise … temporarily cope with feeling lonely. Inexperience with another human… that sort of “regular relationship “… romantic ~friendship kind if it even exists or I created and still yearn for. I realize I don’t want to response in this way even overworking my self doing other activities outside of sex. Reality is I’m not perfect… I try to create new ways to cope, still use some old things as well but… sometimes nothing works. I also know It’s not meant to fulfill this part of me. I don’t want them to b/c well there passions first & coping methods 2 if you understand what I mean. I get sad just saddens… frustrates me at times both because what else am I suppose to do? act? or say?. I’m in an ever-changing relationship with myself … I’ve made some profound growth for the best of me…welp this is just something I can’t control nor change, I just deal with daily. Dating/spiritually is just too … 😶 no words. Falling in love with someone, they feel the same but there’s long distance and other factors… both wanting to do anything to support the other but one understands burnout/burdens just self-health is important (me). I love them more to not want them to work even harder if anything choose them self … b/c that’s love too 😩… ugh jeez… This is my first entry here b/c why not in the moment … I feel comfortable using this space as another outlet I guess. If any one else feels this way, learning about yourself through relationships or not being in one either way I’m not perfect and well you’re not alone. I get lonely too. Note: this kinda all over the place … if you understand well thank you. 🪞🫶🏽

Has anyone ever acted on their thought. I used to make them pop up out of self destruction and now I feel they’re not intrusive but a part of me now and I acted on a thought and now ocd is telling me I’m gay and I can’t be with my bf even though I know even though I don’t feel it I don’t like women.

I’ve been suffering with SO OCD for a while now and the thought of late in life lesbians really scary me like what if this is all real and that’s going to happen to me. My boyfriend and I are about to hit 2 years and I’m scared for the future. :(

I (15M) want to get help but I’m scared of punishment. I live in Arizona and I think I have ocd and it’s making me go insane. First off I hurt so many people in my freshman year of highschool I was overly sexual and went too far over texts being way too open with myself and the reason I was probably overly sexual was maybe because when I was 8 or 9 I was shown explicit content by my older brother and I think that gave me compulsive sexual behavior disorder cause I got addicted to it but idk if I deserve sympathy cause my little brother was also shown it at the same time I was and is not a bad person from what I can tell. But yea when I got into highschool idk why I thought I could be so sexual and not see an issue with it and I hurt 3 people because of it 2 of them said they don’t care about it anymore and just found it annoying (I still feel guilty what if they are lying to me to make me feel better) and the third one doesn’t want to talk to me ever again and I deserve it I scarred him for life. And before highschool I begged a 16 yr old for pictures and this is when I was like 13 or 14 and I was so persistent with it and honestly kinda Manipulative (my friend says not to feel bad cause he was grooming her kind of but I still feel bad) and then in highschool I begged a 17 yr old for pictures this was when I was 14 and I gave him my friends ass pics because I wanted pics from him and he agreed ( my friend was 15/14) and I lied saying it was my friends little sisters and my friend told me she could get his pictures for me and I agreed and we later stopped cause she felt uncomfy and we both thought it was honestly gross I think and then he got upset and said he was gonna send her sisters pics to her to make her upset or blackmail her and I got scared and told her what I did and she felt sick and I told the guy what I did and told him I was gonna cut myself and he told my friend what I said and she told me not too and that she forgives me and I feel so bad cause that’s so wrong she felt she had to forgive me. After that the guy said he was manipulating me the whole time so I would feel guilty about what I did later. And now I feel so much guilt from everything and how I hurt so many people I hurt my little brother I was so rude and mean to him and yet he still loves me and I’m having thoughts on what if I’m a child predator or what if I sa’d my baby cousins or sa’d my little brother (besides the time I did cocsa when I was 9 or 8 and he was 6/7) or what if I sa’d someone at my school and these thoughts keep repeating over and over and it feels so real cause I think I’m honestly a monster and it’s not fair how I can keep walking the earth with innocent people

Has anyone ever struggled with ROCD & then went through a legitimate troubled period in their relationship? (Where the ROCD may have been a factor) I know all relationships have their ups and downs, but personally the downs for me are much harder than I would assume the average girl because I obsess over whether it means we aren’t good for eachother, if it makes us a toxic relationship, etc

Around this time last August, I had a terrible OCD relapse. It got to the point where I didn’t see the point in living anymore. I had everything I had dreamed of a house, a lovely fiancé, a good job and a decent amount of money coming in, so why was i feeling like I didn’t deserve or needed to leave my life? I have suffered from intrusive thoughts all my life but I have particularly struggled since the age of 19 when I started to have sexual intrusive thoughts. I didn’t understand what was happening, the more I tried to make these thoughts go away, the more aggressively they came. I would stay awake Googling all night and not sleeping. I carried on with life but was doing mental compulsions constantly. Every 6 months I’d have a big relapse where I would be so anxious that I couldn’t eat, sleep or take care of myself. I had never been open about my intrusive thoughts with anyone. I had therapy and didn’t tell the therapist the extent of my intrusive thoughts as I thought I would be sectioned or that my thoughts would be confirmed as truth. So I talked about generic things like checking doors, the gas and my hair straighteners. Where really I was worried that my whole life was a lie that I wasn’t attracted to my partner, that I could be gay, that I could be an evil person etc. Anyway, my big relapse happened a year ago, I was trying to plan my wedding but felt like a fraud. It got to a point where I couldn’t keep it in and broke down to my fiancé, I told him all my intrusive thoughts, my worries that I didn’t love him, I gave him permission to leave me when that was the last thing I wanted. I now know what true love is, he was amazing he told me he wouldn’t leave unless that’s really what I wanted. He supported me, I sought out therapy again, although it was hard I opened up, my GP diagnosed me with OCD. It didn’t get better over night, I still struggled for months on end, trying to put in to practice what I had learnt from therapy, there were many dark days. The support system that I had once I opened up was the best thing I could of hoped for my mum was incredible as was my partner. I am getting married next May, I am planning my wedding, I have bought my wedding dress, I feel like me again. I can be at peace alone without constant thoughts running through my head. Today I went for a walk alone and read a book on a bench, something I could never of done a year ago. I’m retraining as a counsellor as I hope to help people in the way I was helped! I want to raise more awareness to ocd as before my diagnosis I had no idea people had the same scary thoughts that I did. It gets better, keep pushing, do your ERP it won’t get better over night but trust the process give it time!

My ROCD got very bad a few weeks ago when my husband had to go the hospital and had lied about drinking alcohol. Right after that, and old colleague of mine started texting and flirting with me. I didn’t stop it right away. I used him as a potential scapegoat in my mind if anything went wrong with my husband. I didn’t cheat, but even after my husband has forgiven me I’m still stuck in a cycle of going over everything that happened and checking if I lied or trying to remember if I lied. Has anything like this happened to you? My anxiety won’t go away when I think about the situation, which has been constant.

I need help I feel so bad I'm thinking about situations with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do and if they were really bad situations or not.