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My OCD, cognitive distortions and overthinking make it harder to be around people. Any tips?

Kind of a vent, thank you if you read all the way through. It feels like every time a new chapter of my life opens up or is on the horizon, my OCD flares up so bad. I get imposter syndrome, I get the urge to confess, self-sabotage, ruminate, etc. I’m moving in with my boyfriend’s family soon. Me and him are long-distance (14 hours away from each other), and this move means we will be able to get married sooner. I am SO excited! … but I also have ROCD soooo bad. My OCD tries to convince me I’m a liar, I’m an imposter, I don’t deserve him, “what if I cheated on him and can’t remember?”, etc. and it’s miserable it eats me up. It feels like lately I’m having 1 good day and then 3 bad days, over and over again. Me and him just met in person for the first time this year (in June actually) after knowing each other 4 years and being together for 2. I have also had some other life changes, family drama, and now moving on top of all of that, I can’t help but wonder if change *itself* is triggering my OCD. I stayed with my boyfriend and his family for a month, and I loved it! My OCD was bad maybe the first week I was there, and it flared here and there, but I was able to cope and I felt so hopeful. It was really nice being around his family a lot, his siblings and parents are really fun to be around and my OCD is much better when I’m around people. Now, I’ve been home for almost a month, and throughout the past month I’ve been so anxious on and off with OCD flares. I got home, and then the next day my mom went out of state for about 2 weeks and I was home completely alone. Going from always being around people and talking to them, to being home completely alone and sleeping alone, it drove me crazy. I am also thinking of my future and I’m simultaneously excited and terrified. I’m so scared for when me and my boyfriend get married and eventually have children, I want kids so bad, but I’m scared because I have to be off my meds (Clomipramine) during pregnancy. I’m afraid that if I can barely cope *now* while I’m medicated, how the heck will I cope when I’m pregnant and unmedicated for 9 months? It’s just so many thoughts roll in and my OCD and anxiety takes over and I’m so sick of being so overwhelmed all the time. I’m so sick of feeling knots in my stomach for not confessing or ruminating. Please, does anybody relate?

Hello everyone , I’m new here to this community ,and I decided to join as I needed help with managing and understanding my OCD. I am starting uni really soon and my family is going through a hard time…; And I guess these changes have been stressing me out and it triggered my ocd around a week ago or so very badly. I used to get annoying dreams months before and I used to get weird thoughts and I just tried to not pay for them any attention but only recently it really flared up and I figured out my new theme was my relationship. It’s exhausting. I can say I’m trying to keep things in check ,but I’d really love tips and advice for transitional times and how to cope with stress. I’m an engineering major and things surely won’t be easy ,so I’d love if someone helped me set a few ground rules so that I can control things and not have it affected badly. Thank you for your time and efforts <3

I just realized last week that I'm pretty sure I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I turn 39 next week, but I still feel in my mind that I'm in my early 20's. What I see as my issues that point to a mid-life crisis is being depressed, irritable, always wanting change (especially in moving), having regrets about the past, being bored all the time, wanting to be impulsive, being nostalgic about what I view as my past life, feeling unfulfilled, and comparing myself to others and being envious of others, usually those younger than me. I'm confused because I feel all of this and at the same time my ROCD popped up again last week after 15 years being dormant (for the most part). I can't tell what thoughts I have are real or irrational. I honestly think it's a mix of both and that's what really scares me. I tend to be very anxious in relationships, and my marriage is no different. Because of this I think a lot about how I didn't have that anxiety when I was single and life seemed easier for me. It's hard to say that out loud. I struggle with comparing my relationship to others as well as comparing my attraction to my wife with how I feel attracted to other women. I've always been the most attracted to other parts of my wife than physical qualities which makes it all so much more confusing. The guilt is unbearable. Is it mid-life crisis, ROCD, both, neither...? Sometimes I just feel so confused and it doesn't seem real. Being almost 40 and feeling like you have no idea what you're feeling is really scary.

Hi everyone. I have been struggling with OCD for the last 14 years. It really has been a thorn in my flesh for that time. But by God's grace I have been able to flourish through it and I was even able to help people who struggle with it as wel. For the last 2 years of university I have been coping very well with my anxiety and OCD. However, I have been in a relationship for the last three months and suddenly my OCD has become unbearable once again. I feel totally paralyzed at times. I am constantly troubled by intrusive thoughts like "Do I really love her?", "Do I really find her attractive?", "I sometimes think of my ex, even though I know she was bad for me and my current girlfriend is amazing. Am I a terrible person?", etc. It is really awful. And since I am a devout Christian, it feels even worse, because my OCD also constantly makes me feel unworthy of God's love. The worst of the relationship OCD is that I know with my mind that my girlfriend is wonderful and that I truly do love her. I know this with my mind, but I am still constantly anxious. I constantly feel the urge to just end the relationship, but I know I shouldn't, because that is just my OCD telling me that is the only thing that will bring relief. But if that is the case, how will I ever manage a relationship? She really is the best woman that I have ever known. Can someone maybe reassure me that what I am feeling as an OCD struggler is normal? Can someone maybe please offer some hope? I am already seeing a therapist and I am taking medication, but I still struggle🥺

I was doing so good, but over the past few months, the OCD has returned with a vengenace. I try to explain what I'm experiencing to my family, but they don't understand. I just need to hear that people get it and know that I can make it out the other end alive and in one piece I've had many themes over the years, but right now, scrupulocity is taking over my life. It takes the normal day-to-day things I do, and twists them into compulsions to feed the insatiable monster that tells me if I don't do enough, be perfect enough, that I'm not a good partner-- not a good person. I'm not working hard because it feels satisfying; I'm doing it because I feel lazy and worthless if I don't. Everything has been taken to an extreme. It's making getting in the way of eating and sleeping. I'm suffering, but I feel like I need to try and pretend that I'm fine (even though I'm terrible at hiding it) because I feel like my husband will think I'm crazy, whiny, and dramatic, and eventually, get tired of it and leave. I'm not asking for reassurance. I just want to not feel so alone.

Anybody else use their lack of sexual history as a way for OCD to use as evidence? I just start remembering all the times I could have had sex but didn’t. I also had a HUGE porn addiction that made it so difficult to function. I remember that I was always afraid of having sex with anyone other than my ex because I was emotionally abused and I felt like if she found out, she would get mad and at the time, that would break me. I’d always overthink about sex and what could happen if It happened at that moment. My mind would fill with questions and I just would end up saying I rather not have any sex. My therapist believed I could have shown signs of OCD early on. I believe that’s what’s happened then and now. I don’t like guys romantically and I love getting excited for a woman. I love that feeling of seeing a pretty girl and getting the chance to know her. It makes my heart so happy. But I would do everything I can to avoid speaking with a guy, even if he was not conventionally attractive. Porn makes me feel like I could turn gay since I watched it so much. I’ve lost interest in watching porn which is a good thing but now ocd is like “oh you don’t get turned on by porn anymore, and those videos had girls in it so that must mean you don’t like girls anymore.” Like how stupid is that. I also saw on Reddit and Quora that people were saying porn can change your attraction/make you lose interest in girls. I know Quora and Reddit are OCD’s best ways at scaring you and these forums are never to be taken seriously, but man does it trigger you. Anyways if you made it this far, thank you. I’m just overthinking a lot today

I’m finally moving on and realising what’s meant for me will stay, but unfortunately this has come along with doubts, overthinking and realising some things that I didn’t before. My ex moved on straight after we ended, got into a relationship with her faster than I ever thought he would (we were only ever exclusive but fir a year he kept me going saying he will, I know I should’ve read the red flags) and now they are happily together doing things I always dreamed he’d do with me. The thing is I look at him and I feel nothing, I once loved him but knowing he never even cared for me has helped me loose that. However, I look back and realise there were so many signs that I didn’t acknowledge and now I’m feeling stupid. More embarrassed. I will never regret giving the love out, but seeing him treat her the way he does, going out all the time, spending time together when I got months and months of just excuse after excuse, how we did spend time physically not emotionally together and I didn’t even see the signs. It makes me so angry that I had love for this person. But now it’s got me comparing ever aspect of myself to this girl, I’m wondering why she’s better than me, what I did wrong, why I’m not good enough. She is known to be a cereal cheater, known to not treat her boyfriends with respect after a few months, she’s already cheated on him and he’s forgiven her, I don’t get it. I feel so ugly in myself, I feel so insecure about everything. I’ve stopped watching her stories but had the Urge to do it again and I did, he was everywhere. Plastered all over her stories, and I’ve sat here not jealous, not wanting him back, but feeling sad in myself that I’m still wondering why I wasn’t good enough. I’m too scared to go into town incase I see them. This mind is killing me im sick of it

(I’m not sure if this has anything triggering but just in case—know that I bring up my OCD but not what it is specifically so I think it’s fine? ) Just really struggling right now and was wondering if anyone had any words of advice or encouragement? I’ve had OCD my entire life but it didn’t start becoming severe until I was around 14/15. It reached the point of extreme where going anywhere or socializing at all caused embarrassment because I had NO idea how to control compulsions and had no idea that’s what they were in the first place. I would also get lost in intrusive thoughts and physically couldn’t communicate. Fast forward and I was isolated throughout the years important to my development. Didn’t go to school, didn’t go to any social events, didn’t get a job (and then 2020 came along and I literally couldn’t.) and just stayed in my room letting my OCD consume me. It was really bad in 2022 and destroyed a very important relationship I had and set me back once again, it hit me extremely strong and a few months later I was once again just -stuck- these were years I was supposed to get ready for college but I couldn’t, and now this year I’m turning 20 and I have nothing to show for it. I’m still stuck and at this point I just feel like there’s no hope for me. The only job I can muster up anything for is creative writing but I feel like such a failure. I’m in such a dark place and I just can’t convince myself it’ll get better. Any words of encouragement would be nice because I just don’t know what to do.

I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?

Guys, anyone just let me know how to get rid of any unwanted sexual thoughts about other men . Im in a healthy and loving relationship. It makes me very uncomfortable when i get intrusive thoughts about anyone and any men . I love my boyfriend. I dont want to feel like this because it makes me feel so guilty. And like a bad person in general. Intrusive thoughts make me feel like i want to do it when i dont . I dont want to look at anyone else that way or find them attractive. It makes me feel like im not loving my boyfriend and also makes me feel like i will cheat on him

I wanted to actually take the time to post this. I promised myself that if my meds started working I would write on here to encourage others to take their meds and do therapy. I spent so many days crying over thoughts that I can see now are not true. I still have moments of overthinking and worrying but that’s normal for people like us and people in general. It’s almost like I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now instead of seeing only darkness. I have come so far from a few months ago even a year ago or when I first developed these ocd symptoms. I took a dna gene test which was like $200 but well worth it to determine what meds work best for my build up, the one I had been on and off taking from fears around meds was one of two that are meant to “work”. So I started up again on 10mg of Lexapro, slowly going up to 20mg, now at 30mg since the last few days. It’s been well over a month probably atleast 6 weeks. I definately noticed when I first took it on and off that I felt a slight difference but thought it was placebo. So I gave it a shot and have been so good with taking them at the right times too mostly. GIVE IT TIME!!! If a med is right for you it will work. You have to believe that though, even if it’s only a tiny part of yourself that can believe it may work… be realistic, it’s not going to just remove the thoughts entirely because we have a very complex disorder, but I do believe I will fully recover. I’ve also been seeing an ocd therapist, who helps me but I also judge for myself what exposures I feel ready for and also still can give into compulsions at times, and I also won’t do things that therapists say that I feel aren’t right for me, find what works for you! They’re just meant to guide you, but recovery is DIFFERENT for everyone. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will for you. I honestly find the thoughts less “sticky” and I can easily get out of them sometimes, or think more logically, trying to not reassure myself or asking for reassurance as much but also allowing myself dto deal with it in my own way and yeah sometimes I do still reassure myself like people without ocd would too, but I have cut back so much and I don’t even remember the last time I confessed properly to my partner. He understands me and has been so supportive and given me any type of reassurance in the past, so basically I’ve got all the answers already, but I don’t have to constantly remind myself of those things or prove every thought wrong. I can let things go more easily. I can think more logically. I can see more when ocd is trying to trick me. I know I’m not aroused sexually by the intrusive thoughts even if they’re images ocd creates and not real I know that if a thought feels intrusive it isn’t arousing me even if it comes at the worst times and makes me confused in the moment, I can bring myself back to reality and put my focus on me and my partner, I can enjoy sex again! Im still struggling at times but I never thought I’d get to this point even, it’s only up from here… I want to attach this image because I prayed and begged for God to send me a sign that only I would know which was a love heart but not in a text message, I wanted to SEE THE SIGN CLEARLY, I asked him if I would ever recover fully or always suffer like this and if I will recover and one day not even have thoughts like this or notice them if I did almost like background noise of stupid people with stupid opinions, then show me a heart. And he delivered this to me. You will be okay even when you feel like you won’t. You matter. Don’t let ocd define you, we’ve got ocd but ocd doesn’t have us… I’m working now, happy mostly with my life, have a loving partner and daughter I’m able to focus on properly now that I’m getting better, I have quit pot and been clean for about 3 weeks after being a stoner since 16 every day basically, which will only make me feel more clear over time, next step is ciggies to quit at the end of the month, I don’t even drink alcohol unless occasionally so that’s not an issue, I’m going to start working out and become my goal weight, going to find things I love to do and DO THEM, LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. you can get here too. This is coming from someone who contemplated suicide time and time again but knew God had a purpose for letting me suffer this way , so I’m able to HELP PEOPLE LIKE ME. God bless you all and Jesus right now I pray for everyone struggling with mental health problems and I pray you can guide them to the right direction, the light and the truth that is YOU. That’s why I can finally see the light at the tunnel, it’s Jesus calling me home. God bless you all, amen. 🙏🏼🩷🩵💜

I wanted to actually take the time to post this. I promised myself that if my meds started working I would write on here to encourage others to take their meds and do therapy. I spent so many days crying over thoughts that I can see now are not true. I still have moments of overthinking and worrying but that’s normal for people like us and people in general. It’s almost like I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now instead of seeing only darkness. I have come so far from a few months ago even a year ago or when I first developed these ocd symptoms. I took a dna gene test which was like $200 but well worth it to determine what meds work best for my build up, the one I had been on and off taking from fears around meds was one of two that are meant to “work”. So I started up again on 10mg of Lexapro, slowly going up to 20mg, now at 30mg since the last few days. It’s been well over a month probably atleast 6 weeks. I definately noticed when I first took it on and off that I felt a slight difference but thought it was placebo. So I gave it a shot and have been so good with taking them at the right times too mostly. GIVE IT TIME!!! If a med is right for you it will work. You have to believe that though, even if it’s only a tiny part of yourself that can believe it may work… be realistic, it’s not going to just remove the thoughts entirely because we have a very complex disorder, but I do believe I will fully recover. I’ve also been seeing an ocd therapist, who helps me but I also judge for myself what exposures I feel ready for and also still can give into compulsions at times, and I also won’t do things that therapists say that I feel aren’t right for me, find what works for you! They’re just meant to guide you, but recovery is DIFFERENT for everyone. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will for you. I honestly find the thoughts less “sticky” and I can easily get out of them sometimes, or think more logically, trying to not reassure myself or asking for reassurance as much but also allowing myself dto deal with it in my own way and yeah sometimes I do still reassure myself like people without ocd would too, but I have cut back so much and I don’t even remember the last time I confessed properly to my partner. He understands me and has been so supportive and given me any type of reassurance in the past, so basically I’ve got all the answers already, but I don’t have to constantly remind myself of those things or prove every thought wrong. I can let things go more easily. I can think more logically. I can see more when ocd is trying to trick me. I know I’m not aroused sexually by the intrusive thoughts even if they’re images ocd creates and not real I know that if a thought feels intrusive it isn’t arousing me even if it comes at the worst times and makes me confused in the moment, I can bring myself back to reality and put my focus on me and my partner, I can enjoy sex again! Im still struggling at times but I never thought I’d get to this point even, it’s only up from here… I want to attach this image because I prayed and begged for God to send me a sign that only I would know which was a love heart but not in a text message, I wanted to SEE THE SIGN CLEARLY, I asked him if I would ever recover fully or always suffer like this and if I will recover and one day not even have thoughts like this or notice them if I did almost like background noise of stupid people with stupid opinions, then show me a heart. And he delivered this to me. You will be okay even when you feel like you won’t. You matter. Don’t let ocd define you, we’ve got ocd but ocd doesn’t have us… I’m working now, happy mostly with my life, have a loving partner and daughter I’m able to focus on properly now that I’m getting better, I have quit pot and been clean for about 3 weeks after being a stoner since 16 every day basically, which will only make me feel more clear over time, next step is ciggies to quit at the end of the month, I don’t even drink alcohol unless occasionally so that’s not an issue, I’m going to start working out and become my goal weight, going to find things I love to do and DO THEM, LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. you can get here too. This is coming from someone who contemplated suicide time and time again but knew God had a purpose for letting me suffer this way , so I’m able to HELP PEOPLE LIKE ME. God bless you all and Jesus right now I pray for everyone struggling with mental health problems and I pray you can guide them to the right direction, the light and the truth that is YOU. That’s why I can finally see the light at the tunnel, it’s Jesus calling me home. God bless you all, amen. 🙏🏼🩷🩵💜

Hi all, this is my first post and I wanted to go over my specific situation and see if anyone within this community has dealt with the same thing. A few things to note first: 1) I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD and have yet to see a professional about my issues. So it’s entirely possible that it’s not OCD related. I am in the process of trying to see a specialist, but don’t have an appointment set yet. 2) Because I have not been diagnosed, I am extremely confused about my issues, and if I am feeding into compulsive behavior by researching etc. I have a very specific situation and that leaves me confused about what to do/not do. A little background: I’m in my early 30s and got divorced about three years ago. My ex and I were only married a short time and it was a very toxic relationship. We probably rushed into it and truly were not compatible and figured that out after we said “I do”. She was very emotionally and verbally abusive to me, and just not a great human being. After the divorce, I stayed out of the dating scene for about a year. I met my current girlfriend a little over a year and a half ago. Our relationship has been wonderful so far and I see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She’s kind, thoughtful and cares deeply for me. Up until about four months ago, our sex life was amazing and I had very few erectile issues. That was the same in previous relationships before my ex too. Good relationships and only a few minor erection issues. Then, a few months ago, as I began more seriously thinking about timelines of getting engaged or taking the next step, I started to have intrusive thoughts about “what if this isn’t right for me”. “What if I don’t actually love her”. “What if she doesn’t actually love me?” Thoughts about her past partners too and if she was actually happy with me. Around the same time (though seemingly not related at that point) I also had an episode of E.D. that has since shattered my confidence. It’s been an endless loop of anxiety, panic, and rumination/questioning since then. Sometimes, it works okay, sometimes I lose it midway through. Which causes immense stress and reinforces the cycle. She has been super kind and considerate about it, saying it’s okay and not a big deal, etc. but it eats at me. At the same time, I’ve basically been singularly focused and obsessed about solving this issue, whether or not it’s just an E.D. issue, if it’s related to OCD, related to my past trauma, etc. The thing that bugs me is that for the first 1.25 years of our relationship, everything in the bedroom and the rest of our relationship was great. We waited several months after we began dating to have sex and it has been amazing and really still is when I’m not having anxiety about it. I had planned that we would get engaged this fall and I don’t know how much of these obsessive thoughts and panic is just because that date is moving closer vs something else. When we are together, it still feels great and we can sit and talk for hours on end. Like I said, we have a great relationship. It’s just that in the last few months, with my anxiety and panic, I feel 1000 miles away sometimes, completely in my head trying to figure out what’s wrong and how to solve it. As I mentioned in the top, I haven’t had an ocd diagnosis. But I have really recognized some of the symptoms in myself. This all came out of the blue and caused me great stress. The obsessive thoughts of our relationship being wrong or her not being right for me cause me extreme sadness and despair. But when I’m not having those panicking thoughts and can be present with her, I feel pretty much as good as I always did before. That leads me to my final question/issue. If any males have had similar ROCD and ED issues, how did you handle it? I have taken viagra a few times and it has certainly helped maintain my erection. I just feel weird taking it and am also concerned that if this is OCD, that I’m avoiding something/giving into a compulsion by medicating it away. TL/DR: I’m having obsessive thoughts about my otherwise good relationship all of the sudden that is causing me great stress and anxiety. I’m also having erection issues, which might be the root cause of all of this anyway. I’ve had a past relationship that ended in divorce and don’t know how that might be impacting things. And I don’t know how to handle the idea of taking a pill to help with the erection issues. It’s a chicken/egg issue and I don’t know how to not make things worse.

Guys, it's been 6 months into my journey with recovery from OCD. As a self-identified Christian, straight male, with strong desires to want the world to have absolute meaning, to get married to a woman, to have a family, I've had very very distressing thoughts throughout the last few years of my life, especially learning about how uncertain our world, and truly life is. However, I am doing a lot better. I don't need to feel the need to compulsively prove to myself that I am or I am not those things. I understand as human we can change and sometimes we won't change. However, the underlying suffering of the anxiety, and the reinforcing behavior has lessened so so much. Even if my life doesn't turn out how I want it to, I don't have to suffer with extreme anxiety and compulsive behavior over a simple thought. Keep doing your ERP, even when you don't feel like it. You'll have bad days, you'll have good days. In my experience, it's always a cycle. And you can move forward, stay present and keep going, fellow OCD warriors!

So I'm suffering with SO-OCD I'm a female (22) who's struggling about if I'm gay or Bi and I have a bf of 6 years so the struggle is intense cause it's always idk idk idk, am I? what if ? and so on. And I keep thinking of all these things and evidence stuff and all that overthinking. I thought I was straight??? Now I'm just confused because I keep thinking and thinking. The classic. But I wanted to ask, is it a ocd thing if you feel like you wanna say certain things outloud? Like for example, I've been tryna re-watch my anime again cause I had a crush on literally all the guys on this one show and I was like well maybe if I put this on I'll be comfortable or whatever. But now, I'm only focusing on the girls only, and now my brain keeps feeling like I have crushes on them or it makes me wanna say " I like -insert female name-". I can't quite explain it but when I would usually fan girl over my anime guys or real life male celebs I'd literally be like I LOVE CHRIS EVANS, I'M A SIMP FOR USUI ( male characters) or whatever. And now it feels like I wanna do that to the females. But it's so odd cause idk?????????? I'm just confused, cause now it feels like I'm not even attracted to my male crushes I use to have or just guys in general. BUT I will say when I do see a guy I was once attracted too like for example Jensen Ackles, I feel like my brain just pushes it away bevause it's like " you're distracted thinking about girls only so you can't find him attractive anymore" I can't explain it well but yeah. And literally like maybe 2 months ago I literally was being a simp for one of my anime men and I'd literally talk about it for weeks or days and save every edit known to man haha. But now I'm like idk And at work too, my boss hired like another employee for the meantime, and I have worked with her sorda but she was doing stuff on the other side of the wall. But I feel like I keep looking or checking or observing I guess? But now since I'm gonna like officially work with her for a lil bit tomorrow at the cashier and such. I'm afraid I'm going to develop a crush on her cause I'm gonna be near her for once. It's silly I know but idk I just feel I guess nervous? Cause I don't wanna develop feelings or anything? But i just feel like what if I'm in denial? And fyi all my coworkers are girls but this was before I had my so-ocd theme. So I guess my question is, why is it do I feel like I wanna say such things out loud to female characters or real life people like celebs. Like " I wanna date so and so" like out of nowhere when I think of a specific female when I'm alone or I guess I wanna confess that to my bf too And is it also a ocd thing where I feel like I'm gonna develop feelings or a crush because she's a girl and new and I'm thinking of like maybe I will get feelings because my brain is so fixated on women rn? I'm just stress cause I have a bf of 6 Years and I've talked to him about this and he really just wants me to relax one day without thinking so much. But I just feel so irritated because I see so many different post about this theme and I just feel like stuck or the only one I guess? I do find females attractive and very pretty but I also am a artist as well and I usually just find people pretty or attractive in different ways. Like if I see a women who just looks stunning. I'm literally in awe at how beautiful she can be. I actually have a coworker and I actually told her this like almost 2 years ago that I thought she was so pretty and stuff and like she can be a model. In a compliment type of way, she's just stunning to me you know? But I don't think I saw her as a love interest of anything. I just really thought she was pretty. But when I would see a cute guy, I'd get nervous I guess? Or just like oh he's cute you know? Sorry I'm just thinking so much, I'm just tired of this theme, it's so annoying. I just wanna go back to being who I thought I was and I do miss fangiriling over my characters I had crushes on but now I just be having doubts about everything of what my SO is. Sorry for this long message. Thanks for anyone who replies or understands the situation. It's definitely tough :/

i constantly overthink my relationahip with my boyfriend. i constantly am like “am i not in love with him?” simply bc i dont find his voice as attractive as some other men, or bc i dont get butterflies whenever he texts me or calls me nicknames. i constantly iverthink everything i do and i am obssesed with every number i see ending in a 5 or a 0 and if it doesnt i get secerely uncomfortable. i make everything even and i have to have a specific order for all my jewelery and stuff. im tired of struggling everyday.

I don’t know why, but my ROCD is really loud right now. I’m obsessed with the idea of our relationship being “right”. Do I need to work on myself more before I can be in a good relationship? (My relationship is great by the way) Am I really going to commit to this person for the rest of my life? Is he holding me back? These are just a few of the questions I’m obsessed with right now. It’s so tiring and I just want to be able to enjoy my relationship for what it is. I’m feeling so sad and down. I’m trying not to search for reassurance but it’s also scary because I think “is this my OCD or is this real and true”. Any advice on how to help this. NOCD doesn’t take my insurance so I can’t go to therapy currently.

Agh! OCD is driving me crazy, like I can’t believe how great it is at making people feel horrible about themselves. So I am getting married to the love of my life in November and my ocd is trying to convince me I did something bad these past 5 years that will ruin my relationship. I know I haven’t done anything but it feels like I somehow forgot! Also, it’s bothering me about my past mistakes before him, my ocd is trying to convince me my fiancé is going to leave me because of all my past mistakes before him. Jeez! This feels soooo real it’s killing me!!!!

Do any of you mix up dates and sometimes find that you stress if you did something whilst in a relationship which would result in you being a cheater I remember something from 6 years ago but my brain is saying it was 5 years ago or potentially overlapping when i met my now boyfriend but its not true, im sure of it - but the ocd wont let me be sure…. Hate this!! Anyone relate?