Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I need advice relationship ocd and ocd in general has taken such a toll on my life as of recently my boyfriend and I decided to not be together we still communicate we’re on good terms and he’ll be visiting soon( long distance) recently a friend I went to school w dad passed and it got me thinking of another friend (male) I used to have feelings for him LONG ago my boyfriend knows of that and I searched his name on Instagram recently and now I feel extremely guilty for this and feel like I need to confess this to my partner did I do something wrong? is this a normal feeling with ocd? someone please give advice.

Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling with a lot of doubts and anxiety in my relationship, and I’m not sure if it’s normal or if it might be something more like relationship anxiety or ROCD. I’m in a long-distance relationship with someone who is incredibly sweet, caring, and kind. And not to mention this is my first relationship ever. Despite knowing all of this, I often find myself overwhelmed by doubts. I constantly question whether I really love him or if I only like the idea of him. Sometimes, I worry that I’m just staying in the relationship because I don’t want to be single or because he’s the kind of person I’m supposed to be with. These thoughts feel so real, and it’s hard to shake them off, even though I don’t want them. I also tend to find “icks” or small things to criticize, and it feels like my brain is trying to push him away, even though I want to be with him. I feel guilty for having these thoughts, and it makes me overthink whether I’m being honest with myself about wanting the relationship. At times, I rely on external validation, like when people tell us we look cute together. I’m scared I might be too focused on what others think, instead of how I truly feel. I also feel guilty about small things, like not responding in the way I think I should, and I worry whether I’m capable of loving someone else. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by how “perfect” he is, and it makes me try to find ways to dislike him, even though I know he’s a good person. I also feel nervous about things like meeting his parents or not fully enjoying his sense of humor, which adds to my overthinking. I want to be with him, but I’m stuck in this cycle of doubt and overanalyzing my feelings. I just want these thoughts and anxieties to go away. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Could this be a sign of relationship anxiety or something more? Any advice or insights would be really appreciated.

The thoughts still exist. For the last couple months I’ve been able to say I don’t care and lean into the comfort of being uncertain. Im having a tough time with some things personally right now and guess what decides to show up… Anyways, I’ve been trying to get used to the fact that maybe I’m bisexual with a romantic preference for men (I’m married and love my husband) but when you start going through your compulsions it’s soooo easy for everything to blur out. To my knowledge I’ve never had a crush on a woman but I’ve most definitely watched same sex porn and have thought women are hot and beautiful, then come the thoughts about comp het and how I’ve never been an overly sexual person so that MUST mean something. Ugh idk, just looking for someone to chat with I guess!

My boyfriend kust told me that I’m putting us througj hell. My rocd is finally kust ruining everythimg I fucking hate mydelf I cant fo tjis anymroe Who do I go to? All my relationships are gone now

I want to encourage everyone who comes across this to reach out to the people you want to reach out to. For so long, I know I felt under an obligation to be so self-sufficient in managing my life, that I didn’t need to rely on anybody. But this a sad and lonely philosophy. It denies the part of us that blossoms when we share our lives with other people. And I don’t want anyone else to have to experience that, so long as I can help it. I want people to feel free to love unconditionally and BE loved unconditionally. So show them your whole soul. Bright as the stars. I don’t think there’s a risk more worth taking.

I keep feeling bad that I didn’t find my partner that cute at first. I didn’t think he was unattractive but when I first met him it was at work and him and this other guy were new. I thought the other guy was more attractive at the time. I even vocalized it to a friend. NOW my boyfriend is my whole world and I think he’s the most handsome man ever. Even more handsome than the guy I originally thought was cute. I don’t have a problem with his appearance or anything. I just feel guilty over not finding him more attractive than the other guy. It feels wrong and of course my thoughts are saying I should tell him this but I know it’ll just hurt his feelings.

Really struggling lately with ROCD. But also unsure if it’s OCD or relationship dissatisfaction. There is good days then bad. Largely depending on how I’m doing on an individual level. It’s as if small things and some big things are so intolerant at this point. At this point I’m so torn between throwing everything away and sticking it out with someone I do love and cherish. Is it trauma response, anxiety, OCD, dissatisfaction. Ugh! Anyone struggle currently with this or have in the past?

Please tell me how you get through your days. I haven't been super down, but I feel like I haven't had a true sense of happiness since my mental switch flipped. Actually, the more I think of it the more I feel like I have been pretty down. Does anyone else's OCD feel like it consumes so much of them? I don't remember what it's like to feel like I have my own individual identity, and I think that's a big core aspect of why my ROCD acts up. It gets easier some days, harder some others, and I tell myself progress isn't linear but this is EXHAUSTING. I just got my script for Bupropion extended even though I don't know if its doing much a month into it. I have so many anxieties and such little energy it feels impossible to branch out more than I already am by seeking help. Does anyone relate?

How have you dealt with this? OCD definitely has affected my relationship but he’s been and stayed with me for over a year and a breakup hasn’t happened. Yet in my mind I’m not worthy of a relationship because of my mental health. Help?

Does anybody have any advice for how to help your partner cope with your anxiety? It causes a lot of tension and fight or flight feelings in my partner and it’s clearly very distressing for him. I don’t want him to feel anxious because I am.

Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!

hey, my boyfriend recently came to me and opened up to me about him thinking he has ROCD. i am trying my absolute hardest to understand it all, and came to the realization that i might have it too. we have been dating for almost 2 years now and we’ve been on such a good streak lately if that’s what you want to call it. the bad times aren’t truthfully bad at all. but i get so anxious when he goes out to the bars without me every weekend. and then he gets anxious because of how i respond too it. so basically im just asking for some tips i guess, because i truthfully do think he is the one and could spend the rest of my life with him. but there has got to be an easy way to get past this.

I can’t tell if I have ROCD or if he’s the wrong person for me does anyone have any tips on how to know

SOOCD sufferers! Do you sometimes worry that you're true attraction is your false attraction and vice versa? and that you actually dont really know what true attraction is but if you go with the unwated sex you will know? Ima actually really struggeling between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone.... I'm a straight female (I think) and I recognise a beautiful women more than a handsome men. Like I wasnt really attracted to my bf's body before actually being with him. However since in my mind, the female body has "more" if feels like I'll feel more if Im with a women? ughh soo weird. Like I dont see a men's naked body and automaticcaly get turned on, I have to be intimate with him for that to happen? honetsly between that and the romantic feelings that I feel like are not "enough" it really sounds like denial even if my therapist really diagnosed me. UGH

Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!

I can't tell if this is OCD to be honest, but with how much I'm focusing on it, it has to be some form or another. My mom and I have never had the best relationship. Ever since I was 6 years old, my OCD has always made me feel like I need to confess my own guilts to her. Our relationship has gotten infinitely better ever since I started therapy a few years ago. Her and I have been able to talk about a lot of things in the past and she's apologized for a lot of things. Recently I've been remembering more real events that make me want to cry. I don't want to keep bringing up things to her that she's done wrong. Especially this current memory, as it was years ago and I know she didn't mean any ill-intent. I don't want to hurt her by bringing this up, because I don't want her to think I'm blaming her or make her feel like a bad mom. I can't tell if this is something I need to talk about with her to get closure, or if this is my OCD disguising itself so I can "confess" to get relief. I'm so tired, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not even sure if I'm remembering things right anymore. Sorry if this isn't OCD or I sound crazy.

Hi! Does anyone struggle with loneliness? Especially when it comes to talking to your loved ones about what you go through. I’ve been struggling with this because it either leads to a fight or I’m not understood. My husband and I have been having some issues and I have a bad habit of bringing up the past. I don’t know why I keep doing it it’s just I get a thought and it goes into auto mode recently. We are going to marriage counseling soon but I try to tell him and family how I’m feeling and it just turns into a fight or it turns into me being dismissed. I just honestly want someone I can trust to hear me but it feels like I can’t really talk to anyone. I think it’s a relapse and I keep doing ERP but honestly I just need someone to listen. Does anyone relate or am I just it? I feel like I’m losing the love of my life and I’m breaking at the mere thought of it.

My SO-OCD is really getting in the way of my relationship and I’m so confused if it’s meant to be platonic or romantic. We have such a strong bond and I am sexually attracted to them but my SO-OCD tries to convince me that I should be with a woman bc I’m not sure if I’m 100% straight and I feel a lot of guilt about the fact that I want a relationship with a man and get intrusive thoughts about what it would be like to be with a woman instead. But it’s about this one specific girl I found attractive and I’m not sure if it’s sexual attraction or admiration and I have been fixating on this ever since I met her because I see her consistently and I’m not sure what to do. I really want this to work with him but it’s so hard for me to trust myself and what I truly want.

Around a month ago I got out of an almost 2 year relationship. In that time I met someone that I ended up developing a crush on and today we decided to start dating. Since earlier today, I’ve had a lot of intrusive thoughts about a variety of things, the two biggest being if I actually like this person and the if it’s too soon for me to be back in a relationship. I know I like this person and we have amazing chemistry I just want some advice on the situation.

For anyone taking this ssri what is your dosage, when do u normally take it (concern about weight gain, flat emotion, sexual side effect as I’m in a relationship). Any advice would help everyone here with ocd would like to know doses and what time of day you take and if you have experience improvements or side effects. I just started today on 10mg but would want to increase and stay at 20mg if it works out. Today been feeling sad but I think that’s more bc of something that happen (found someonelied about something from past) so I think it’s more that than side effect other than that nothing I ended taking at 3 PM. Since my bf works 3pm- 1 am so maybe I experience any side effects during this time and not before or after. Again not sure how this works thank you