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Please pray for me to be happy

I have been atheist for about a little over a year now, i was raised catholic for the first couple years of my life and then then both my parents decided to become christians and my father took my siblings and I to a church that my uncle was the pastor of and i endured some religious trauma as the church exhibited many cult like behaviors; claiming to make a woman’s leg grow on stage and the whole congregation going along with it, another instance when many adults from the congregation (my father included) gathered around the front of the stage and began speaking in tongues and crying and laying on the floor, etc. We were going to this church multiple times a day usually 2-3 my uncle would tell us “god never took a day off so neither can we” and i remember my father telling one of my brothers about spontaneous combustion and i was so afraid that would happen to me. So fast forward to present day i don’t go to church and haven’t been in 4-5 years and completely abandoned religion a year ago but i still feel like god is listening to my thoughts and i will go to hell for my intrusive thoughts when i was younger i used to compulsively pray i don’t pray at all anymore but i still feel like he can hear my thoughts or deceased relatives can hear my thoughts and maybe they think something is deeply disturbed with me??? I don’t believe in a god anymore why does this still happen am I delusional??? I wish i didn’t feel like someone was listening to my thoughts you know?

Brothers and sisters, God's Grace is abundant in our lives everyday, but often times we choose to ignore it because of fear and anxiety, how many lies do we have to "obey" to please ocd? To erase the anxiety? Compulsions have not worked they only have led us to more anxiety and fear. God's Grace allows us to ignore the lies and resist compulsions as a way of trusting Jesus Who Is the Truth. God gives us His Grace when we ask for it but just as with anything God gives, its up to us to accept it or ignore it. Lets ignore fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, silly ocd rules and lets trust God's Grace and Word. Lets ask God for help to accept His Grace, lets take a leap and trust our Father Who loves us and never lies! God knows our struggle and wants us to be healed, but brothers and sisters our healing will only come from trusting Him. It is not easy, it is not pleasant at times but its our Loving Father who holds our hands.

I’m deathly afraid of my SOOCD it has be frozen. I feel like I’m a fraud. Reading more about it it so scary but I identify if a lot of others who experience it. I’ve been in a spiral. The last few days have been so hard. I literally don’t know what to do. I’m so afraid to move forward with my life. It feels wrong when I’m so unsure / going through a terrible bout of OCD. I definitely have confession compulsions. I need to tell my husband every thought I have. I am afraid to talk to him about my SOOCD. I guess I’m afraid of rejection. He knows I struggle with OCD. But I don’t discuss content very much. I’m so afraid of him not loving me. I don’t want to lose us. I love us. I’m so afraid I’m in denial. I’ve been dealing with this for a few years. I don’t want to change my life 😭 I’m frozen. I know everything would turn out ok with whatever outcome but I’m so stuck in terror. I deeply don’t want this to be true. Please help. Ps I’m 27 and married to an amazing man. He’s my best friend. And I LOVE snuggling/kissing/cuddling with him. I’m so distraught.

This is a very disturbing thing so if you are sensitive please dont read it. I remember i had this type of ocd and even now remembering it scares me alot cause i still question some things So im a christian and i remember last year i was in therapy, and the sad thing was that my therapist dealt with my ocd like its partly true. I had suicidal ocd and she told me in some part it is true. So this made me suffer more. I couldnt decide if im really suicidal or not, i remember there was a time when i even accepted that i am and i need help to stop the pain(the pain caused by rummination of am i suicidal or not). And that time the thoughts were horrible. I remember one morning i was half awake half asleep, and i had vivid thoughts and those thoughts said that God accepts suicide, He will keep me safe there, it was like God calls me to end my life. When i was fully awake, i was terrified. And now remembering this gave me those feelings back and im still terrified about the thing that it might happen with some that they misinterpret intrusive thoughts as God voice. There are some cases where people do bad things cause they think God told them to do it. And with clear head we can say "you know its not God" yeah i know, but in that moment, i just remember it now, you dont know it cause then it wouldnt make you eb afraid. I remember the feeling of its true made me feel terrified that im actually suicidal cause i think God calls me to do it. And not just this fear, but the thought itself that i experience a thought like this, and it feels true, it scares me. Maybe im afraid that i can change my belief so easily, maybe beliefs doesnt change so easily, but i was afraid being manipulated by these thoughts and actually doing it, cause at some point it wasnt about "am i really suicidal" it was about "is this true? God really allows suicide and its okay?" So even this that i was thinking about if its true or not still makes me feel bad. I learned now what is God voice and to not interpret any thought as his voice but now that i exposed myself to that past feeling i realized how hard is this cause the feelings make you feel like youre actually planning doing something, not just self harm but even harming others, having thoughts like "God wants me to hurt that person". Its terrifying, and im still afraid cause i think it couldve been possible for me to follow that thought and believe it but i didnt.

Hello, long story short. In July I saw a message from a recruiter pop up on LinkedIn. When I did, I heard a voice say “I will protect you” and I felt like it meant that God was going to protect me somehow by giving me this job. I reached out and ended up going on a bunch of interviews and they made me an offer. I didn’t love the offer and then declined. Then fast forward another job pops up with a friend. I accepted it even though I really didn’t want to because I thought it was God’s will for me to go to protect me from something at my current job. Now my current job just offered me a promotion and a ton of money to stay. What should I do? I’m so scared to not go if it was God but I’m scared to go and it was just an intrusive thought all along.

My ocd is mainly around my faith so it pushes me away from God a lot how do I even talk to Him about it ?

Hi…okay so I don’t know if anyone would understand what I want to say but I hope anyone who sees this understands….so I’m suffering from rocd and when it all started I prayed , begged ,cried infront of god to just give me one more chance to make things right with my partner, I don’t want to lose him i don’t know why I’m feeling like this I just want to feel love for him please give me another chance please give me a new heart with love filled for my partner. I was miserable I was scared I was crying 24/7 day and night feeling terrified and asking god to please make me “feel” for my partner im sorry if I made any mistake . My partner and I are in long distance he’s working hard to build a life he wants so me I just wanted to pray for him with my WHOLE HEART! To please help him help him in managing his struggles and all but I don’t know I was just not feeling that I’m praying with my whole heart when I was trying my all to just pray for him with pure intentions and a pure heart. ( I got emotional while typing all this). I don’t know why but the thought - maybe I’m not right for him that’s why god isn’t helping him or answering my prayers. And now the situation is that I actually feel very difficult to pray to god for him I m just not able to talk to god words are so damn difficult to come out I think what if god thinks I’m not praying with my whole heart. ( believe me I really want to) does god thinks that my feelings now because of rocd (not feeling 100% in love ) is the reason why he’s not answering my prayers or because I don’t feel 100% in love with him I’m not able to make prayers( like something is stopping me really hard to go infront of god and talk to him) I’m not able to go even in the room which is dedicated to god in my home. What is all this? Can somebody help me in anyway. I’ll be really thankful.

I was at church tonight sharing my testimony & how God has worked in my life, especially in regards to OCD, & someone came up to me after church and said that she believed mental health but she thought this was Satan attacking me (could be right) & that I shouldn’t use labels like OCD & make it my identity—that I shouldn’t claim that over myself. I hear this a lot and try to let it go but it hurts every time. I went home and cried. (Still crying.) Scrupulosity is already such an isolating illness and it sucks to be misunderstood. I feel like OCD is not taken seriously at all (she compared it to ADHD). I try to just accept that not everyone will understand & well intentioned people are going to say things because they don’t understand, but sometimes it gets to me. Tonight just really hurt. Just looking for encouragement from anyone else with scrupulosity who has experienced this. I feel so alone.

Does OCD ever make it seem that if you follow your dreams, preferences and goals you will punished by God. I get that feeling a lot that God will punish me if I do and that I’m getting thoughts of God telling me to give up my desires and goals. It’s really stressing me out and getting me sad, anxious, disappointed and angry

does anyone remember what their first experience with OCD felt like? im pretty sure i know the exact minute it happened. I was nine and my cousin was over for a sleep over, i remember she was on my bed watching a youtube video, and i was on the floor watching a youtube video. Then all of a sudden i got this horrible feeling it felt almost like deja vu? but i was terrified and i was so anxious i went and threw up. After that my mind was never the same, at the time i was so scared that i had been possessed because thats what i imagined it would feel/ look like, i became obsessed with the thought that i had become possessed. i kept asking my mom for reassurance that I hadn’t gotten possessed or had “made god angry.” im just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or if maybe that wasn’t OCD? Part of me still wonders if maybe i actually am possessed and i don’t have OCD even after 10 years. I obviously know thats not true but it’s always the “what if” ya know?

Has anyone had intrusive thoughts triggered from emotions such as frustration? When I start to get irritated or frustrated I get blasphemous intrusive thoughts. It makes me more distressed and panicked when the intrusive thoughts occur with that emotion vs just random.

“Why doesn’t God just fox things for us? Why does any Christian have to suffer at all when God can perform miracles?” Christ never promised that we wouldn’t suffer in this world. In fact, He said we surely would! His promise is that He has overcome the world. Let me ask you a question… Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity or are persecuted or hungry or destitute? Or in danger or threatened with death? ‘For His sake we are killed all the day long, we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered’. Despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us. Loves us. Christ Jesus said Himself “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. And our worst situations can be used for good when we endure them in service if the Word of the Lord. -superbook For those of you who are already following Jesus, keep going and looking to Him. We need to focus on Him instead of our problems. For those of you who are not Christians, please know that it is not “religion” or judging others (although everyone does this) but rather it is accepting Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on a cross so that we won’t have to get the eternal punishment we deserve for our sin against God. He says all you have to do is believe in Him. Just reach up and take the free gift. It’s true and real and I am a witness to that. God bless you and please reach out with any questions❤️ or for sometime to talk to

I just want to obsess and attach a whole story. What if I’m stuck this way. What if I go crazy and can’t remember what I’ve done. What if I stop loving God and turn to new age and I become evil and start hurting people. I just can’t. I have never thought I was evil. My entire life until I had my daughter and my mind told me she was of the devil. I was so mad at myself. How could I think about my precious gift this way? And now I’m so clueless as to why I even exist and how could this happen. It’s like nothing is real an tangible anymore. I feel like everything is such a blur in this life. I want God to be real. He has always been my whole life. It even makes 100% sense to me at the same it doesn’t 😭 I didn’t waver on my beliefs at all before this kid and it’s like me thinking about her like that has caused me so many problems along with horrible side effects from meds that made me see things in slow motion. I’m in therapy but it’s take so long to heal and for me to love my life and me again. I feel like I look at my self and think. You can’t trust you anymore. This world too has turned upside down to me. I am just so heartbroken. I want to be a good person an it seems like I’m going to turn evil any second and I’ve never been purposely evil or mean to anyone. I got bullied as a kid. 😢. I feel like I’m losing my identity an understand who I am.

I don’t understand the concept of using Maybe or maybe not. When having very taboo thoughts. Like I feel it makes my ocd worse. Can someone explain?

I learned alot and now i know it only feels real because we are afraid and we are thinking in a fearful headspace, but i didnt heard that it actually gives you the feelings, and i have a problem with this. I struggle now with religious ocd, and because its been hard for me now, i started feel like im angry at God, which is okay for some, but i do realized its good for me cause it only makes me stop working on the relationship with God and then i feel like he is far away... but anytime i have anger towards God or when im tired and someone says God is so good cause He heals, i just get this thoughts that maybe it doesnt, idk, He doesnt helps me now. And i suddenly feel bad cause i know this is not real. And i start to deal with this as a real problem that maybe i need to work on this and it gets worse. Or i try to ignore it but maybe i still give importance to that cause im afraid the anger is genuine and it comes back after time. So just today i thought about this, maybe ocd its not just makes you believe that you feel like it, what if it really sends you the actual feeling, like for me i actually feel angry at God, but bc its not who i am and i know its bad i quickly judge myself and feel bad. So in this way the solution wouldnt be stop judging myself and accept that im angry at God and deal with that, but to actually ignore it cause its ocd. So in this way ocd actually can make me feel in hard times that im angry at God, or its really me who is angry at God? Idk maybe i overthink it but if i try to see it through, i just spin and make it worse, i even feel bad about saying its just ocd cause maybe being angry at God is normal and i just want to avoid feel bad about myself, but i know staying in that path, accepting that im actually start to question God and its okay, it just makes me feel worse so idk. Maybe ocd really can make you feel things that arent your true self

As a non-religious person who is coming out of a struggle with religious OCD, I’ve come to a conclusion that MANY are going to hate me for. I’m sorry, but I am saying the truth. All religions, but mainly focusing on Christianity, are just FILLED with mentally ill people. They will brainwash, gaslight, and guilt you into believing things that are immoral, cruel, strange, and terrifying. Being around Christians makes me feel uneasy because of how they think everything is a sign from god, how everything is demonic, and how they encourage scrupulosity when it is a MENTAL ILLNESS. I am sick and tired of pretending that most religious people are not mentally unstable. Before you say I am dumping on your religion, I would also like to recognize that Christians have also done a TON of good. This being volunteering, humanitarian work, etc. But if you are a Christian reading this you have got to see how there is so much mental illness in the faith. And the Bible is just FUEL for OCD. it’s all a huge compulsion. Try to get these people to step away from prayer or from going to Church and they will lose it. And if you are a Christian going to reply underneath this saying how great your faith is and how I just need to open my eyes, please save your breath. Your truth is not my truth, you don’t know any better about the truth than I do, stop pretending like you do. K, thanks.

I’ve been Atheist ever since I was young and I think today I’ve finally found God. I journaled a prayer saying sorry that I didn’t believe for so long and thanking him for still being with me. I said in the prayer that I am sorry for not trusting him and following him. I also thanked him for forgiving me, since he is all forgiving. I said I was finally allowing myself to place my faith and trust in him. I just let it happen. I don’t know. This is new for me. Is there a right way to do this? I think I just need to forgive myself now…

The past couple of days have lead to today being a total burst of an ocd spike. I deal with scrupulosity and existential OCD. Currently I’m totally panicked we live in a simulation, Jesus is just a program created by aliens or an alien himself. Saying these things out loud I know they are off the wall but I cannot get past the panic and the constant thoughts.

So basically, I'm afraid of having schizophrenia or becoming possessed (I'm religious). And I have been noticing I'm really paranoid lately and almost believing delusions or what ifs in my mind. Obviously I know they are crazy, but my mind keeps doubting it. That's what scares me the most if I listen to it one day and go crazy.