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Coincidences, signs, omens, jinxing, what do I do when I’m convinced that the universe is warning me that something is going to happen?

Religion : I am scared that I’m not doing enough God but I also feel like I don’t have the capacity at the moment to provide and be a better Christian worried. I am worried to the point that I have stopped consuming certain TV shows I would stop whenever I feel like this is something that is infringing, my Christianity Work : started a new job and my mind is blocking. I can’t remember or retain new information. Sometimes colleagues can pressure you and say you have done this before so you can do it or you overthinking and it doesn’t help feel like tearing the moment and just say shut up, but is a new job, the worse is the person that is training me feel so ashamed to look in her to her eyes and see that she’s trying to deal with something that is bigger than me not understanding it just like I have a wall and I don’t understand why, because normally I understand things i’m fearing my capacity to do things understand when I do training. I’m the one thinking more taking more notes making sure that I can read everything and when it’s time to put things into practice i am blocked even with the text in front of me feel like I’m distracted but don’t where I am at, but I’m forcing my brain to focus, and during hours and hours get earworms which I’ve never got worried about but the ridiculously horrible now. Feel like crying all the time when things don’t go right if I don’t understand if I’m able to proceed actually unable to proceed more tasks actually reinforce and help me are not working because deep down I know that true as many tasks that they want and I’m still blocked and never had learning difficulties before, but now It’s just horrible. I forget things easily. Friends: I i’m worried that my friends think that I am mad. I have started to explain some things that happened to my head and it’s horrible because sometimes they may listen but it just feels like they don’t want to say a lot. To not hurt my feelings or call me crazy and sometimes they make comments but it just feels like they don’t understand the subject if they do the way they pushing is not helping but I’m still appreciative about how they are listening to me but I feel like a heavyweight and I don’t think it’s their responsibility which is very sad. Don’t really know I can’t see what is affecting my relationship, but I don’t want to be selfish and I’m concerned that I’m making everything all about me. I want to hear them as well. Changes : i’ve always been to be very organised but I’m getting to the point where it’s becoming extreme so normally I organise my jackets by colour and because it’s a rack there is also space for shoes and I also tried to organise by function colour and weather normally I’ll always do that but now I’m observing certain things that I don’t find normal specially that is actually affecting my daily life is extreme need of having everything always correct 100% it’s a problem obviously my products cause it takes. I organise them by function and size the same thing for my wardrobe. I’ve always done this. I organise it by function column is extremely organised. Keys are always in the same place basically that you always try to put everything is in the same place, but now I’m becoming worse when it comes to hygiene I have this constant obsession of cleaning and making sure that everything is perfect. The perfect is actually, overwhelming if I don’t do it I’m worried that I’m not enough I’m getting discussed for example if I see something that it’s not clean enough and if I don’t clean up, I don’t want to touch it. I’m always disinfecting my hands removing my shoes when I get home if I don’t remember I don’t like it but doesn’t bother me too much to be honest for some reason I have this urge to have perfect habits I’ve always had the same rituals. I would say every day I wake up I tried to do things in the same order, sit on the same side each time that I have to eat the same products and I wondered if there is not everything repetitive and when it’s not black-and-white I would say frustrates me before I was able to deal with things that I couldn’t control even though they would bother me now I just block when I leave the house. I checked my door probably five times or even minimum three times I would say I have constant songs or my brain is creating melodies and if I don’t record it I’m going mad sometimes I have the urge to write them write it I’m going mad, if I lose the melody that my brain just created, I will probably besad too. I have probably over 100 recordings that my brain created on my telephone. It’s now affecting me and my main concern is end up unemployed because I don’t wanna stop working but if I don’t have the capacity to even remember little information, how am I supposed to work? Like this is just a brief it’s probably remember that I’m unable to remember. Gets repetitive behaviours wanna and can’t stop.

Jesus can help you beat your OCD, even if it’s so hard. If you have been praying for a sign to trust Jesus Christ again, this is it!

I’ve had OCD since I can remember. I don’t know if there’s an argument about being born with OCD vs developing it. I can assure you, I was born with it. Some of my earliest memories are checking my mom’s tires after we had a flat, and worrying that I had ingested a harmful chemical. My first big manifestation was when my mom bought toilet bowl fresheners when I was about 5 that had the California cancer warning. I had a baby brother and I was obsessed with thinking he would eat them, get cancer, and die. I remember the anguish. I remember the not being able to sleep. It got so bad, and I was so worried, my mom threw them away and never got them again. I still shudder when I see that kind in the store. I also started, around the same time, checking if everyone was breathing. My mom, my dad, my brother, my grandma when I stayed with her. One night, I kept her awake all night because any time she went to sleep I was afraid she would stop breathing and die. On into my youth and adolescence, I began to experience panic attacks that came with episodes of derealization. I didn’t learn until later, in my 20s, that derealization was a form of OCD. My parents finally sought treatment for the panic attacks, but only from my pediatrician. I was put on medication at an early age. I don’t think therapy was even discussed. This was the late 90s and early 2000s. Most of the OCD themes in my adolescence were health or socially focused. I stopped always going to my mom for reassurance, and dealt with a lot of themes on my own. Things my family to this day still doesn’t know about. Nuclear war fears, HIV when I learned about it in school, fear I would curse while singing in church. All themes I dealt with on my own until they “ran out of steam”. The internet wasn’t what it is now. I didn’t even think of Googling what was going on. I thought it was something only I dealt with. A lot of times I was ashamed to tell my mom unless the anxiety got so bad and I had to. I felt like the things I “worried” about were embarrassing. I wasn’t told that (my mom was and still is so supportive) but I just compulsively felt it. In my early 20s, I had a panic attack that led to agoraphobia and being homebound, due to months of derealization. I quit college and my part time job. I was hopeless. This is where I first discovered Google and entertained the possibility of OCD. But because my family was low income at the time, and also treatment for OCD is nonexistent in my area, I visited my primary doctor for medication and rode it out at home. I coped by my wonderful now ex-boyfriend and my mom easing me back into life little by little. Slowly I was able to get a job again and even go back to school. Sadly, my troubles weren’t over. I had multiple episodes over various themes. Some getting me back into agoraphobic states for shorter periods. Some coming with derealization and some without. Most notably, relationship OCD with my boyfriend at the time and my mom (do I love them enough?), religious OCD (unforgivable sin due to deconstructing Baptist faith from childhood), somatic, and schizophrenia. I remember being in complete agony on a beach trip with my boyfriend because I couldn’t stop noticing my blinking. I faked it through the best I could, but I was a nervous wreck. This whole time, I still hadn’t been to therapy, because I was too afraid to tell anyone what I was experience due to how weird it was. Fast forward, the boyfriend leaves me. I have a breakdown the following fall, mostly derealization and some harm OCD for the first time, that I check myself into a crisis unit. I went to therapy for the first time there, and got set up with my local community mental health center. They were kind to me, but knew nothing about OCD. Wouldn’t even diagnose me. Meds were changed and I was diagnosed with anxiety. Another fast forward to 2018, I was dealing with another breakup and had a bad episode that resulted in me going to the ER. I was treated very poorly there. After that, I went back to the community mental health center (I had stopped as it wasn’t helping) and began taking medication seriously. The therapist still didn’t know anything about OCD, but I stayed consistent and tried to just talk to her about my issues. I also watched OCD content on YouTube at home and decided I’d self treat that part and go to therapy for support. Finally, in summer of 2019, I decided to private pay for therapy. I found a great therapist who was trauma focused. But, we connected and I trusted her. She really did help me a lot because I did have some trauma. This leads us to today. With 5 years of trauma therapy, and also a med combo that works for me (she referred me to a good psych NP), I am functional, haven’t had derealization longer than a normal panic attack (and that’s extremely rare) in 5 years. I learned coping skills and DBT which I do think have helped me in some aspects. I also did EMDR for my traumas. I genuinely don’t regret it. However, I’m outgrowing her. She does know I have OCD but isn’t well trained. She thinks it’s all due to trauma (I don’t have all that much) and I think I was born with it. I feel my trauma is resolved and I’m still not getting the relief I need. I have found myself at NOCD to connect with my next therapist and move away from my beloved trauma therapist. It’s just time. With my traumas resolved and in a place where I am functional, I see more nonjudgmentally how OCD is ingrained in my habits and everyday brain function, and is contributing to my baseline level of anxiety. It’s time to conquer the final boss. If you read this far, thank you, and I hope to be a help to you on your journey as well.

Everything I will share happened in about 3-4 months, and I'm still recovering two to three years later. My Fears/Obsessions. 1-Denied salvation 2-That I can't walk or go anywhere I want to go. For example, ocd might suggest, “ What If walking is a sin?” or it will say, “Walking will condemn you.” 3- I am dumb or lack the capabilities to do everyday academic things like math or science. Some of the reasons why I may be doubting my ability are because I'm lazy, unmotivated, and also dealing with addictions(; Dopamine, porn, food.) These things have hurt me for most of my older teenage and adult years, premature beliefs and ideas. Some of this has stemmed from childhood; even now, the ocd is trying to get me to stop writing this paper. OCD is a liar; he takes what is true, like, “I can go anywhere,” and then tries to replace it with, “If you walk, you'll be condemned.” Therefore, I concur that ocd is the opposite of what is true. An average person never worries about whether they can walk or go anywhere or whether they will be condemned. Once again, I will repeat that some of this does come from childhood; I was abused by a man who used religion and condemnation to keep me bound and my mother. And even though it's been years, and I'm 18 now, and I know the truth, I still feel so bound. If I'm smart, why do dumb ideas and theories possess my mind? Why is it a fight to believe basic logic? Furthermore, over a year ago, right before I first asked Jesus to save me, I said, “Save me no matter what you have to do.” Shortly after, I had massive panic attacks; I thought the world was going to end then and now and that Jesus was returning now; amidst this was during the pandemic, of course (end of a pandemic). So then I would further go down into this rabbit hole, where I would think that if you grab this rag instead of this one, you will lose someone close to you. Additionally, thoughts like if you eat this food, you'll be condemned. And so then I would cave in and believe these lies and be delusional, and it was funny I acted like I was scared that if I were not good enough, I would go to hell, but then at any time, it benefited me, or I had to save my own, but I would lie, or do a grievous sin. Even during this period, I stole so much money from someone I loved and claimed it was a hacker. Lord, forgive me. I would even have thoughts of repetition that if I did not go on my knees and say a prayer, I would go to hell. I would pray on my knees in public restrooms and embarrass myself because of the compulsions; even now, as I write, I feel the anxiety and fear. Then I took antidepressants too, which helped tremendously at first but then left me so empty and made my existence hurt, even just being alive hurt (Btw I was 16-17 during all of this). And once again, I was eating nothing, so it had terrible effects on me. But now I'm 18, about to go to college, and I've been heartbroken over five different women already, and now I have the best girlfriend in the world. That's my story. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

The other day I wanted to sign up for this 2 day class that seemed interesting to me but thought I'd buy tickets in the morning and if not it wasn't meant to be but then it did sell out but I was extremely sad and emailed the company asking to be told if anyone dropped out or anything and long story short he told me that I can just show up but then I remembered how I had thought if I didn't get tickets then maybe it wasn't meant to be so I got concerned and just prayed to God that if I wasn't meant to go for some reason that something would block me from going or it would be cancelled or something. And then I got an email that it was postponed because of the instructors flight being delayed so instead of having one session today and one tomorrow they r having both tomorrow and I really want to go but I'm afraid God was telling me not to by postponing it. And it's a scary drive making me scared I'll get in a car crash

It seems to me, that, OCD really flares up in times of idle, lonliness, boredom, etc. Perhaps its a result of lacking hobbies during down-time - too much time to just think. I'm a university student and it always seems to be the worst during the break periods like summer and winter break. I'm in a weird spot where the OCD feels normal and doesn't really bother me, but does at the same time. I don't find myself consumed by fear so much anymore, but more annoyed and frustrated at the presence of OCD thoughts. I experience religious OCD mostly, and yesterday I was less fearful and more just genuinely angry that I was having thoughts about hell and the afterlife. So it still feels like it can consume me at times, but I suppose ERP is also working in stopping the fear response. Perhaps, the anger I'm experiencing nowadays comes from being too hard on myself and impatient. I'm not sure. I'd love to know the community's thoughts on this.

One night I started obsessing over how my dad could develop cancer I was watching a movie on Netflix and I kept having to pause the movie to blink and quickly pray to God that he wouldn't so I wouldn't be choosing the movie 'over' my dad. But one time I didn't and I just carried on playing it and then I felt this huge sinking feeling which made me feel like I caused something terrible to happen so I banned myself from Netflix for a year 😭😭and also started banning a ton of other 'materialistic' stuff like chocolate and music because I read in the Bhagavad-Gita that 'life is a balance of pain and pleasure' so I thought that by reducing pleasure I could prevent the pain I could feel from my dad 😭which makes no sense at all Anyway I got over this eventually but today I was watching Netflix again and then I started thinking about how I should probably put it away and go to bed (after I pray for my dad first) but I started thinking about how I don't want to put it away and I think mentally I chose it 'over' my dad- EVEN THOUGH I WOULD NEVER. And then it was like all my OCD faded and I was allowed to pray for other stuff too, etc But then I realised that this could be because Id chosen something above my dad and now he will one day down the line get cancer. I couldn't bear this so I started praying again before bed that I don't choose anything beyond my dad, and that him not getting cancer comes first, etc. Then I got into bed and I keep feeling the urge to get up again and show God I've chosen him and that I don't choose anything instead, and I keep feeling the urge to like tap the floor twice to solidify this but I promised to god that I can't 😭😭 I am so sorry that this is such a long post. Any advice at all would be welcome :(

Right now I'm having trouble with something I did years ago. When I was in my early 20s, I accidentally talked about an interest I wholeheartedly refused to believe wasn't nsfw on my blog where minors followed me. These minors would sometimes like my posts and leave comments and I think one even made a blog regarding this interest. I never reached out or messaged any of them. I've never wanted to harm anyone and I'm asexual/aromantic so I've never thought of anyone in a sexual way, especially not kids. I've had really bad religious guilt around sex in general, so that doesn't help at all either. Eventually I accepted that the interest wasn't completely sfw (I didn't think of it as sexual, but my body does for some reason), so I made a new account and deleted the old one and blocked the minors. I forgot about it for a few years, but one of my favorite YouTubers just got cancelled for being a pedo and now these memories are all coming back. I feel disgusting and like I'm a groomer. I can't stop thinking about how one day someone will come forward and accuse me of being inappropriate or grooming them. I can't stop thinking about how young the minor who made a blog dedicated to the interest was and how I maybe ruined her life forever. I'm currently doing therapy through NOCD and my therapistis great, but I just got triggered so I'm having a hard time right now. I feel sick at the mention of kids, I feel sick around my friends who would maybe hate me if they knew this, I feel sick because this feels like something I'm going to have to carry on my conscious for my whole life. I know I can't ask for reassurance, but I'm just so tired :(

My brain keeps obsessing over the idea that my mum could develop cancer. My brain keeps saying things like 'move your head twice' or 'tap the floor twice' and it has to feel RIGHT to make sure that she won't. But also all of my compulsions are basically praying until it feels right so when I move my head it's in the direction of the picture of God I have in my house for example, and it feels right. But when I do ERP and delay my compulsions they don't go away, they just come back stronger later in the day like a reminder that I really do have to do this. And if I refuse it's like I'm wasting the opportunity and giving this up, so I'm telling god that I'd be fine with her getting cancer and then she really will. I don't know what to do about this :(

Hi everyone, I’ll try to be brief. I am a 32 year old woman who has battled with intrusive thoughts since I first menstruated when I was 15. I get religious and sexual related unwanted thoughts. I have Been on and off the same SSRI since I was 18. So that’s like 12 years total that I’ve taken SSRI’s. It has saved my life because I was seriously thinking about leaving this world since I figured no one can live like this. What I wanted to ask is if any female gets the same symptoms I do before and after their period? Before my period I get really bad PMS and the worst intrusive thoughts. During ovulation I am great, then after ovulation I get anxiety and feel panic attacks wanting to creep in but they don’t. Maybe it’s because of the SSRI doesn’t let me go into full panic but I noticed this pattern. I noticed this pattern because I keep a log in a period app and noticed that I wrote things like “anxiety” before every period and after ovulation.

Guys I’m still have these ocd thought there soooo bad . I can’t find peace I keep offending the Holy spirit . And life hurts. Please pray for me I’m crying.

Hello. I downloaded this app because of a cousin who has been through and is currently experiencing things similar to me and she said this helps her not feel so alone. So here I am. My name is Emma and I’m a 15 year old from Texas. In 2015, when I was 4/5 years old, I was ripped away from my grandparents (who took care of me) and placed with my father (who abused my drug addicted mother) and his wife, my step mom. “Dana” is what I’ll call her. When I first arrived at my dads and Dana’s house I didn’t suspect anything bad. I just missed my grandparents. Until Dana started to sexually, mentally and physically abuse me at a very young age. She would lock me in dark rooms, hit me with spoons and tell me to blame the marks it left on my grandparents as she tried to heal them or whatever. Dana told me that I was a snake and my dad didn’t love me. She showed me pictures of mens private parts and, although my memory of this incident is blurry, I do remember taking a “bath” with her once and never again. But Dana is just where my problems started. Whenever my grandparents won the custody battle, I came home, but not as the same kid who left. My thoughts were now very sexual if that makes sense, and I started to have sexual thoughts about family members and other thoughts in which I couldn’t control. I had basically developed a very dirty mind from an earlier age due to this abuse I went through at Dana’s house of horrors. These intrusive thoughts had eventually calmed now because as I got older I learned how to (somewhat) control them, but they still invade my mind today. The sexual abuse I endured also led to a short-lived porn addiction that stopped in 2020/2021 after I turned to God. These thoughts are also kind of like OCD, but like ‘if you don’t get this right all your loved ones will die’ and ‘if you do this God won’t love you and you’ll go to hell’ and what not. Now onto my present day problems Also, my grandparents are cattle people. They raise beef steers and breeding heifers. I started to show steers (a boy cow basically) in 2018. Of course, like any other animal-obsessed kids, I always fell in love with my steers. But, if you don’t know this already, FFA kids raise their “projects” or “show animals” for their county fair or other major livestock shows/expositions and at the end of every year my steers were slaughtered. I learned this at a young age but wasn’t too affected until I started to win, until I started to gain attention from random people because of what I’d accomplished in the show cattle industry, and I started to really get attached to my show animals. Just recently, I had a steer named Flash, and my goodness did I fall in love with that steer. We won almost every show we went to and were known by many people in my county. At the end of the year, Flash won Grand Champion Market Steer at the 2024 YMBL South Texas State Fair. At the fair, which lasted a week, I had to leave Flash in fair grounds in his champion pen the staff always provides for the winners (Grand and Reserve.) The fair always ends on my birthday, March 30th, which means I also have to leave my favorite animals on a day most would celebrate, but I dread all year long. Leaving Flash made me loose all self worth and also deem everything else the world had to offer meaningless. I became extremely depressed and bipolar, which, by the way, I still struggle with intense depression. I started thinking of killing my self. I told myself that if a painless way to end my life ever arose I would do it. I would end it all, just to see Flash again. Also in 2022, a heifer I loved so much, possibly more than Flash, prolapsed and died a painful death, leaving her baby behind. (We still have her baby.) The day this heifer died will always be ingrained in my head. When I got off the bus from the school, I ran to the end of my driveway before realizing my heifer, who I called Ms Kitty, really was dead. I dropped to my knees and sobbed in the driveway until my grandpa came and got me. Later that day I forced myself to look at the bloody trailer and I cried. I looked at the place where she was buried. But I got over Ms Kitty. Now onto the other problems. My grandpa went to Vietnam and told me stories. Like a normal kid would, I became obsessed and wanted to learn everything about the war. Me and my cousin played a game at night that resembled Vietnam. Until I stopped treating it like a game and let the events that took place in that horrible war shake me to my core. My grandpa also told me a story where one of his only friends, because according to him he tried his best not to make friends in case they died, was hit by some type of bomb or something and his body was blown in half. That scarred me as a child and I still think about it to day. All of that war phase I had as a kid affects me. Last week my family put on some Vietnam war movie. I started crying and had to make them turn it off. It just affects me somehow…and I know I’m not a veteran and I don’t know half of the problems vets go through, it still affects me and makes me depressed. All of these problems, amongst smaller things, make me want to end my life; I want the sadness and depression to end, I want to be with my family and Flash in heaven. I don’t want to live on this cruel world any longer than I have to. During the daytime, I’m happy and I laugh. There are days where I’m sad regardless of what time it is, but for the post part, every night I cry alone in my room, read my Bible and pray for God to take me and my grandparents to Heaven so I can see Flash all my other loved ones and animals and end my suffering. Before I end this post, I just want to add that I wouldn’t ever cause myself any harm. I’m a very low pain tolerance type of person and I’m even terrified of needles, so at least for now, Im in now real danger and wouldn’t ever act on my sucicidial thoughts. (Hope I spelt it right.)

Hi all, I’m having a spike in my ROCD and am just going to vent but am open to comments / helpful words as well :) I’ve been experiencing ROCD for about a year now, been living with my fiancee (M) and love him to death. I picture having his babies, I can’t wait to marry him, I’m excited for our future together and see myself being really happy with him. However, y’all know how it is when you get triggered. It makes me feel like I’m behind a clear shower curtain staring at the world through a wall of my own emotions that I can’t poke through and get out of, but can see through. Then I’ll randomly snap out of it (maybe from spinning to the point of numbness) and feel fine and happy and content. It’s hard because we’re engaged and we’re set to get married at the end of the year. So the whole “don’t make a decision yet, give it 6 months” won’t work because we’re getting married in 6 months 😂 I love him. I just question a lot of things and need absolute certainty all the time. I’m learning that I can be a very black and white thinker and take things very literally, so that probably ties into it too. I just want to be normal again. I feel the most guilt ever when I get into these ruminations, and wonder if he deserves better— someone who knows what they want and can be with him and not feel how I feel sometimes. Lately I’ve been hyperfixated on if I actually want to settle down and have kids or if that’s just what we’re trained to think, so what if I travel the world instead …….(but we can travel together so, what? lol) Or I went to a baseball game and had the thought of maybe I wanna date a baseball player …..(I don’t even like baseball!😂) Add being religious into that mix, and then it becomes “well what if GOD doesn’t want me with him and is trying to force me to leave??” So then I pray “god, if you don’t want me with this man, show me please!!!” And 3 hours later my man surprised me with flowers and a hand written note professing his love for me. But then it’s back to the spin cycle days later. I’m in OCD / trauma therapy and for the first time today, I spiraled before my therapy appointment, and was able to explain how that felt to her. Then I mentioned the guilt behind planning a wedding while feeling like this (she knows we’re engaged) and she said “you know, this is the first time you’ve mentioned the wedding in the entirety of our appointments” and THAT is making me spiral because I don’t know what she means by that! Am I supposed to be talking about the wedding to my therapist? I don’t know? Anyways, I don’t know yall. I don’t want to leave and I want to see this through and marry the man I’ve loved for so many years, but sometimes I get wrapped up in the mess of all of it. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and sometimes I don’t want to even leave my bed because I’m so bummed and sad. Thanks for reading.

Hey guys! Does anyone ever feel like there intrusive thoughts are so bad that you fear being punished from God? Fear of being punished for all those bad or evil intrusive thoughts ? I try to wake up every morning and forget about the thoughts but I can help but feel so much guilt , shame and embarrassment. I feel like my happiness has been stripped away from me. I am fed up of feeling this way. I hate feeling this way, I am constantly afraid that god will punish me for having these bad thoughts and that I will pay for my sins (intrusive thoughts ). Can anyone help or relate to this ?

hi i’ve been struggling with religion recently. when i was younger i went to a catholic school that was very poorly run and as a result i decided to not follow a religion when i left. within the past few months dealing with my ocd made me feel like there was no hope other than turning back to religion. i have been praying more frequently and i talk to God a lot abt my ocd. however i just bought a new cross necklace and have been wearing it for the past few days. however i got the intrusive thought this morning that if i wear a cross it means i am a hardcore conservative christian. and although there’s nothing wrong with that if you are, it is most definitely not who i am. so now i don’t know if i should still wear it. bc i also feel like if i take it off God will be mad at me and i’ll go to hell. i don’t go to church or read the bible or anything my religious journey to me is just the relationship between me and God and i am extremely private about it bc it’s extremely person to me. i just don’t know if following a religion is a good thing for me to do with ocd idk if lost

Hi guys, I’m a follower of Christ and I definitely have a lot of religious OCD I’m always thinking I’m committing the unforgivable sin, and always thinking that God can never forgive me. And there’s so many people that have their own idea of what they think the unforgivable sin is so it makes me have even more anxiety and honestly I really need help because it’s been a few years now that I’ve been battling this and I just want to live comfortably in my faith

I feel like ERP both works and doesn’t. My OCD is very much mental and trying to resist compulsions is an all-day task. When I do my ERP homework, it works for that scenario but OCD comes back the same force later. I am tired at this point. Days are long but I don’t feel like much happened. My prayer life is the only thing that works as joy is being sucked out of everything else. Did anyone else go through a stubborn bout of this?

Just sharing this a bit as I got to terms with the end of my high school career. I feel like I've spent a big time after starting medication on rumination and just feeling overall terrible. I didn't recieve any treatment until it got unbearable for myself, my family, my friends, and my school work. I was constantly having breakdowns and trying to get someone around me to understand. I can recall instances of these breakdowns where I would just get called crazy and irrational, which does not help at all. I was always terrified of getting close to people. I start having bad intrusive thoughts but I know that I would never want to hurt anyone. I can't stop thinking if people would've just taken me seriously in the beginning I could've done so much better. I had many failing grades as a lot of days my mind gets so occupied by every little thing ever I can't even just focus on working. This made my post-grad plans complicated. I want to apologize to the pain I've caused to my family and anyone involved in my life. I'm scared if they touched me I'll contaminate them with something. I was also constantly in ans out of hospital from stress relatwd illnesses as well as "illnesses" my brain convinced me I had. I feel like an instrument of destruction. When I was really young I was fully convinced I was the anti-christ and the only way to change that is if I ended my life. I went off on a tangent, but overall I'm glad at last I could get some chemical relief. While it still effects me everyday, I try to push myself out of my boundaries while making sure I have people around me to reassure me even if the reassurance is "if you do get a heart attack we'll call an ambulance". The best advice that has worked for me as a hypochondriac ia when i feel like mind spiraling to crazy ends like illnesses and possible deaths, I think abt even if you were getting close to it, theres always a way to srop it through diagnoses and help from professionals. It calms me a little to know that even if my obsessions are "right"(they never are), There is always a solution to it. Hope as time goes on I can come to terms with the way my brain is wired, and function like the ones around me do. I had a therapist told me I was incredible for staying in school despite all that I've told her. I felt a relief at that moment since for the longest time I thought I wasn't doing Thanks for making it to the very end sorry for the incredible long vent!

Does anybody else with religion OCD ever feel like no matter how many times you tell yourself that God is watching over you your body just won’t let you feel safe? And does anyone with religion OCD ever feel like because it has to do with religion, it is so much bigger? I’m currently sitting in my bedroom in paralysis because I don’t know what to do with myself in my mind. Can anyone with religion OCD weigh in?