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I am feeling very calm I am on zoloft almost 2 months and I think that it works..my muscle are little tired but I don't care Do you think that I will se a bigger improvement?

I’m so worried. I keep having anxiety while sleeping and waking up and having horrible nightmares related to my OCD. Now I’m afraid to sleep and my health OCD keeps saying there are other reasons for it too. I’m so scared and anxious, do other people deal with this? I haven’t really slept in days

I’ve been going through a lot of problems with my partner the past couple months. about three weeks ago we “broke up” on our own terms where we didn’t have any set rules and it was kind of a mess. i would have really bad days or periods of time that i didn’t wanna be together at all or have to respond to them. then i would feel so bad and remorseful and wonder what they possibly could have done wrong to deserve these feelings from me. last week we broke up for good, with enforced no contact rules and we’ve unfollowed each other on everything. the day after this happened i felt a lot of relief that at least i didn’t have to think about it anymore. the day after i was mostly okay but at one point felt like i was on the edge of a heart attack and just felt so heavy and couldn’t stand it and missed them so much. the next day i was unrealistically fine and was trying everything to distract myself, reaching out to people, setting up hang outs for the next day/upcoming week, trying to reconnect with past people, basically doing way too much. i had a carefree attitude about it even though i knew deep down it was all a distraction. on days like these i refrain from getting on this app because i don’t want to have to deal with the possibility that i just need to work on this relationship. today is the day after that and i’ve been a mess. i miss them so much and feel as though i’ve made a big mistake. i know that i cant act on these feelings just as much as i shouldn’t act on negative ones about my partner, because the whole reason we broke up for good was so that there wouldn’t be a constant back and forth. i know i need to just sit with this discomfort for more than just a day because my feelings could change tomorrow. the main question i’m struggling with is, if they were right for me, would i really be debating it this much and seriously? is this just a bad time in my life? if anyone has any words or advice i’d love to hear it. more context if you wanna read: i’ve had so many struggles that i’ve been through with this person, one being that our parents didn’t approve/let us date until we both turned 18. there’s a lot of back and forth in my mind about this, “were we so distracted in fighting other people that we didn’t realize we weren’t right for each other?” and “how can it be wrong when we went through so much together?” and on the other hand “what if because of the huge switch in the root of our problems (from outside conflict to internal conflict with each other) that it just felt so different and it caused me to re-evaluate everything instead of just taking it as it was?” this is my first relationship with someone of the same sex. i’ve had a lot of internalized homophobia throughout this relationship, obvious or not, and it may also show up in some of my reasonings. i have a lot of predispositions of what life is “supposed to be” for me, what kind of person i am “supposed to end up with.” this causes me to internalize thoughts about things like our race, our sizes, our masculinity/femininity balance. throughout all of these things, they have seemed to see clearer than me, realizing that they like me as a person so why would any of that matter (outside of their own personal insecurities). some of this has to do with me worrying about how other people will see me, as well as how good or perfect i see the relationship myself behind closed doors. another thing i’ve noticed is that i tend to be too focused on how i’m perceived by them and not on just being in the moment and perceiving them. in other words, i’m always actively trying to be someone who is worthy of being in love with, and not enjoying the person i have in front of me. this makes me feel like i’m more in love with myself than i am with them. because of the disapproval from my parents, we were forced/encouraged to hang out a lot less, maybe once or twice a week. i missed them and wanted to hang out more and took that opportunity when it presented itself, but i realized that i may have loved the space/breaks more than i realized. my partner was the opposite, and would’ve already moved in with me if given the chance. this made me think that we were just not compatible in that area, and should find people who want to be around each other the same amount. we are going to the same college as freshmen in less than a week, and when we were together and there for orientation, i had a really hard time sitting with the idea that we would be there together so much. the first night was so fun and i loved spending all day with them, but it got harder as time went on, so much that i psyched myself into thinking i never even liked this person and hardly know them, and it felt like i gad woken up from a fever dream and was forced to give up my independence and share a life with this person forever. (obviously this is soooo extreme and no one was wanting to trap me.) we were never even going to room together for the actual college and planned on waiting for the step of moving in, however those three days really scared me. things that HAVE stayed constant in my mind are that i genuinely love this person, i want what’s best for them, and i don’t regret the relationship for what it was. overall, all of these things that i’ve had doubts over make me feel like 1)it shouldn’t be this hard to be in a relationship and 2)they don’t deserve someone who can’t make up their mind about the relationship. should we stay broken up for sure and i’ll just have to appreciate the relationship for what it was at the time and get over my regrets and wondering if i lost an amazing partner? or should i be holding out hope for a longer future with them?

Well recently I've had intrusive thoughts about kissing other men and that become compulsion for testing, and while doing it feels like I have the actual urge and desire to do it with same sex sometimes even feels like it is pleasurable but not sure if it is that or not, because it feels like that the first time but afterwards it's like my mind realizes it's a man who I'm kissing in my thought and I stop getting these feelings. Also the first time it happened my mind made me feel like I enjoyed it and had a feeling that it was my first true kiss because the first time I kissed a girl I didn't feel this but it is so confusing because it feels like it's not real I don't even know how to describe the feeling. I may be confusing feelings and it might not be enjoyable but I'm really confused about this. Anyone has any insight?

Is it possible to recover from ROCD and intrusive thoughts while being in a relationship? I’ve been really open with my boyfriend about my mental health and it has been hard on him but he’s been with me every step of the way but I know in more ways than one me experiencing this has deeply changed and damaged our relationship, even tho he knows it’s not my fault. i always feel so much guilt and regardless of my ocd our relationship has a lot of problems but it all just started when i started going through this and I’ve tried so hard to hold on all this time because I love him so much and he loves me too. I just don’t know if and how I can do this with another person when. I can barely get through the day myself and I also hate hurting him.

I feel like throughout my teens into my early adult years I did or said stuff that that makes me a monster. My most recent trigger is a memory involving rping in a roleplay server where minors were present. I won’t excuse myself for what I think I did, but I feel like I put inappropriate context for things where I shouldn’t have and made a complete mockery of what I believe now.

Hi there, this is my first post. I graduated college last summer, and have been living in my parents basement (cliche I know) while saving up some money to move out. My bedroom has been in the basement since I was 8 years old and we have never once had any issues with critters until now. Yesterday morning I heard scratching coming from my closed bedroom (I don’t sleep in there but that’s a whole different story lol). I thought I had closed my cat in the night before by accident when I was doing some laundry so I opened the door to check. She wasn’t in there, but sound carries easily in my house so I figured she must be trapped somewhere else and I could just hear her. I left my door open (it is usually open anyways) and go upstairs. I found her in the garage, so I assumed I was right about the noise and moved on. Hours later, I go back downstairs to finish up my laundry. I was sorting things when I saw a mouse out of the corner of my eye and completely lost it. My stepdad immediately went to the store to get some traps. He set them up for me and we barricaded the basement door. We scheduled an appointment with an exterminator so they can come assess the situation. At this point there is nothing I can do, and I know this, but the thoughts won’t stop. My mind has been racing ever since. When did this start? How many are there? Have I been living with them without knowing? Is there an entire outbreak? Will one get upstairs? Are they already upstairs? Are they in the walls? Will I get sick? Will I die? Will all my things be ruined? EVERYTHING I own is in that basement. All my furniture from college, my clothes, my shoes, even sentimental things from my childhood are down there. Again, I was 8 when I got my room in the basement, so when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. I don’t know how to cope with this at all. I am terrified just being here at home. I can’t stop thinking about what is happening in the basement. I can’t shake the thought that at this very moment my belongings are being stepped on, peed on, and pooped on by animals that harbor deadly diseases. Even when the situation is handled and there are no more things living down there, how will I know for sure? I was going to move out next month, but now all my stuff has been contaminated! How will I clean everything? What am I going to do? I have very severe contamination OCD and just recently switched my medication, so I am still adjusting. This could not have happened at a worse possible time. Obviously this situation would be bad for anyone, but my OCD makes it even worse. The people in my life are trying to help make me feel better, and they understand why I’m upset, but don’t fully grasp the absolute panic I’m feeling. I just wanted to write about my situation in a place where other people may have a better understanding of how I’m feeling. Sorry for the long rant and if you made it this far thanks for reading. :)

My girlfriend and I have been through a lot over the past few months. We were eachothers crutch when one of us was struggling. We both have ocd and because of that, it’s easy to talk to one another about our feelings. I’m not going to be specific because it’s not necessary, but my girlfriend hurt me very badly and it hurt deeply. After the incident happened, we spoke and she initially apologized, and we made up. We were both struggling with personal issues however our relationship and love was still strong and still is to this day. Regarding my hurt, I understand the situation she was in and I know she never wanted to hurt me & I’ve told her that. However we’re both aware that just because I understand doesn’t mean it was okay of her to do what she did. After it happened it took time for me to not have only that incident on my mind. It ate at me and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I just had to wait it out. As of now I’m doing a lot better regarding it but sometimes I think of it & it just hurts me so bad. She’s not the same person she was before and I can’t be angry at her because it’s clear to me that she has completely changed & she makes me so happy. But sometimes throughout my day I’ll think about the hurt and it makes me physically sick, and makes me feel so weak and pathetic. My logical side understands that it’s something in the past and that I’ve forgiven her for what she did, and that as far as right now is concerned, everything between her and I is perfect to me. But I have had such a difficult time letting go. I think a specific thing that really causes me to hold onto it, is after she originally apologized, in various situations she would almost not take it seriously. Most of the time it was a conversation with another person and she was usually under the influence of something, but hearing her make light of that pain and in one instance even brag about an aspect of it… just destroyed me and made me feel like maybe she wasn’t truly sorry. When I would speak about it after the apology, she would get really frustrated with me and tell me that maybe it wasn’t the best idea for us to be together. All of that just made the apology seem fake or unmeaningful from her. There’s so many specific things that play into this situation that would make this a lot more understandable, but I can’t really do that. I have an understanding of her and the way she copes with things and due to that, although those instances of her making light or getting frustrated with me hurt me, I know logically that it’s not because she doesn’t care. She gets really defensive when she’s confronted and it comes from a place of her feeling as if she’s inadequate, and she was also hurt in the situation that hurt me, so I feel like her making light of it was more for herself and her personal comfort. Regardless of anything, the person that did all of this is so far gone from the person I’m with now, and it makes it hard because I’m still hurt by those things but the person who did them is completely gone. I’ve brought it up a few times over the past couple months and it’s clear that she feels guilt from it. Her and I’s relationship is nothing short of perfect to me. I couldn’t ask for anything more. She makes me feel like the most important person in her world and I know her love is real. And it’s reciprocated. My goal with all of this is to manage to find a way to not let those thoughts from the past run my mind and cause me to act out on the person she is now, due to pain from the person she was that she left behind. I’m very ocd with my thoughts of sadness and I tend to fixate on them and let them be present in my psyche. I don’t deserve that and neither does she. I want to be okay so I can be happy, and I don’t want her to feel like she’s still hurting me, because she isn’t. I need to figure out how to forgive the old her within myself.

Thinking aloud: I know that my mind is going to look for anything to confirm any paranoia or suspicions I have about friends not really caring about me, people dismissing my feelings and experiences, etc. But when I can write a timeline of how a relationship ended and how this person has gotten close to the people in closest proximity in my life, and have seen these relationships change, it’s excruciating. How do I know what is true? What can be shared or defended or justified? My inner critic keeps popping up reminding me that I can’t be upset about people or relationships that have changed since this mess (affair) ended because I never told them the extent of my suffering. Many of my friends don’t even know anything happened with this person, so when I don’t show up or my behavior is erratic and anxious and hard, I assume they just think I’m being flaky and fake. It kills me. The solution I’ve sought is to just move in trust at face value that if they do invite me somewhere they really want me there, or if they don’t it’s not personal. But then to navigate and answer to myself - it’s as if there’s no free invitations. “If I go and am anxious as hell I must be faking it - never honest to the people around me and butter when they can’t read my mind” “If I don’t go and honor my feelings, they may be offended or confused - I don’t feel free to tell them the full truth so they’ve slowly stopped inviting me” The spiral easily looks like - what’s the best move? Everything’s humiliating either way so which bullet is better to take? Am I selfish for sharing my story when it involves someone else? You’re selfish for sharing the truth and selfish for being hurt - you made the decision to not tell them. Even if you did, they’re entitled to their own responses. Frozen - unless I am convicted in one clear direction, the easiest thing is to not move. Miserable. “The truth will set you free” - at my core I believe in truth and owning it. Whatever it is. Warts and all, but the anxiety of sharing and fear of being rejected or accused is truly terrifying. Making myself a martyr it seems, and yet - there seems to be no way out.

My ocd has been flaring up and I’ve been doing many rituals to prove I’m not a pedophile. It is so mentally draining at the end of my shift and I really need help cope and control these intrusive thoughts because I love this job and I want to be the best for the kids. But I’m so tired

So i keep spam posting lol but this will hopefully be my last. I see people on TikTok who say they had hocd about being gay, and then saying that theyre bi???? Thats really scaring me? How could they have hocd and be what they fear? I hate this and really dont want that to happen. I want to accept this uncertainty but cant at all. No offence to anyone from LGBTQ+.

https://www.instagram.com/peacewithocd/guide/ocd-subtypes/17932176964835168/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Ever since I started 5th grade I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping. At one point I could sleep up to 15 hours at once because it was like my mind trapped me there and my whole body and thought process was frozen outside of the real world. At another point in time I was obsessed with getting exactly 8 hours. Now, I cannot sleep at night no matter how tired I am. It’s as if sleeping when it’s dark outside makes my intrusive thoughts worse. But as soon as the sun starts to rise, I pass out and stay asleep forever and just like before, I get stuck in my sleep. My dreams become awful, endless nightmares (I’ve had these since I was 4 or 5 but they’ve somehow gotten worse). Like I have no idea what I’m going to do once the nights get longer during fall and winter and I have to go to classes during the day. Part of it may be medication or my other medical condition but a lot of it seems like it’s a part of my OCD or another mental illness. Has anyone else had a sleep problem like this?

I do not want to intrude or make anyone feel inferior but i would like to add that this app is exactly what is feeding into your ocd cycle. It is not helping and it might lead to a relapse. I have a family member with HOCD it is debilitating to both her and me because of the cycle. This app feeds into that cycle. If you don’t agree with me, that’s okay but that’s my take on this. I would like for yourselves to ask yourselves how many times do you visit this app? Do you delete it then redownload it then delete it again? How many times has this app made you feel like your ocd was not ocd and was reality? How many times has this app tried to convince that you are not in control of your thoughts? You are in control. This is an issue from within which deals with self confidence and trust. Trust yourselves in that youre not your thoughts and you have control over them. If you want to be someone, be that person, don’t let your thoughts decide for you. Work on your self confidence. You are not your ocd. Sorry if this seems too upfront, I tried being as nice as possible and I do know that this is debilitating for the person with ocd. I really do hope you get better but please don’t give up and try your best to get rid of your absolutist and pessimistic thinking. I know some people on here won’t agree with me but this is from my experience.

Harm ocd is the worst possible thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s legit about my girlfriend and family whom I love so much. This all came about after a crime case and it latched onto it and I can’t seem to let go. Anyone have any tips on helping with harm ocd?

I feel like I then did so much reassurance seeking on the internet and on here for the past month that I don’t even care to look anymore i see a lot of good stuff but the small amount of bad stuff my brain an heart goes with some reason I feel helpless is like I feel normal but i feel confused and odd for some reason like I’m not in control of my thought and feelings and sensories for some reason does anyone else feel like this or felt like this in the past and does it get better?have an meds and therapy took these problems away?

I always get scared that my boyfriend is not moral enough or something for me. We agree on most things about moral/social issues but sometimes he thinks somethings aren’t as big of a deal as I do. It scares me because what if he is wong and people think he is a bad person. I know he is a good person and he treats everyone well but I think I’m afraid of finding out he is not. Or like what if other people believe he should be more involved with an issue. I hate this cause it takes up so much of my time thinking.

When closing your eyes do you start to notice imaginary convos or stories that relate to movies, things you’ve seen, or situations you’ve been in? I’m told this is a form of thought suppression but what do you do to refocus when trying to sleep because you realize these are made up stories etc ? So I pray? Count till I knock out?

Hi. I have OCD for like 4 years now and this week is the worst week of my life. I am ashamed to talk about this and I feel so much guilt but I need help. Sexual intrusive thoughts, to me, are not new. I had them before about family members, and yeah, sometimes it was bad and made me believe I am attracted to my male family members, but in time, I had them down. Recently, for a week, I got Zocd. I am an animal lover and these intrusive thoughts tortured me to the point I wanted to die. I keep having sexual intrusive images and thoughts about my cats and it bothers me so much. I also get urges and they feel so real and it scares me to the point that I'm starting to cry. Sometimes I am afraid that I might actually be a zoophile that doesn't want to accept it, but I love my cats and every other animal and I would never do those things to them. I just want ro go back to normal and play with my cats without tbose disturbing images and thoughts. Please help me! I'm so tired.

Question have any straight males who have hocd and have done some questionable things in childhood does it help the ocd make it more convincing and especially if you watch porn of the same sex (one time only)does that really make you gay or is it still the hocd I have a porn addiction along with hocd I’ve always watched women and today I watched a porn video with a women who looks like a man a lil but I been knew she confirmed herself but I decided to watch it and ejaculate to it anyway I’ve always liked women but the hocd since Ive had it has made it more and more convincing that I might like both even though I’ve never really opened up about this time I tried sex with the same sex when I was around 6 7 or 8 I’ve always regretted and never liked that I did that I also feel like it’s made me even more religious even though I’ve always believed in god I think I have most types of ocd I saw a trick on where people said don’t fight the thoughts and it works but it also makes the intrusive feelings feel real to the point where I went from having the strength and courage inside to say it’s the ocd now it’s like I feel beat up in the inside like I lose my courage anybody else felt like this and does it get better?