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How do u stop overly worrying about your health. I have a sinus infection, eye infection, and ear infection and im scared there’s more to it because it doesn’t feel like anything is working

I feel like I have become really confused about who I am, mainly when it comes to dealing with these thoughts. Lately the harm thoughts are coming to me like I don’t think this but sort of ‘feel’ like ‘imagine you went and didn’t this right now’ like I’m not thinking that thought but I sort of feel it like I can’t explain it and sort of imagine you jsut done it anyways and because I’m not anxious over the thoughts anymore and haven’t been for while I feel like its just made it worse because now I purposely think these horrible thoughts on purpose over and over to gauge my response in hope I will feel anxious so I can then ‘move on from the thought’ so if a disgusting thought or idea comes to me I find it extremely difficult to move on and feel as though I HAVE to examine the thought. I had a really disgusting thought come out of no where, basically I was in my room and there was clothing on the floor and my foot hit it when I walked past and I had a thought like ‘it felt like a animal/cat’ and then my highly active horribly creative Brain decides to make me think ‘felt like a dead animal’ then I thought to myself okay just move on from that whatever but of course I couldn’t because now according to my brain I have to now work out whether I like the feeling of picking up a dead/motionless body, because what if its true - I know this sounds so disgusting and horrible. So then I started imagining picking up a ‘dead’ animal and it ‘flopping’ about the I sort of got some sort of ‘shudder of anxiety’ it doesn’t feel like a really strong anxiety but it feels almost like I get a shudder and almost like I bring it on on purpose then I had to imagine the thought about a dead person (even more horrible) to check incase I do or don’t like moving/holding a dead body and then the same thing happened I got a shudder kind of thing then it usually still feels unsatisfied but I feel I can then somehow move on form the thought since I’ve now had a ‘shudder’ and I’ve done this same process with so many other thoughts before as well and sometimes I even the start thinking I’m purposely making myself ‘shudder’ and maybe I’m being fake but it’s jsut gotten bad like I don’t even believe myself or no what to believe anymore. I constantly feel like I’m faking my reactions as well and worry that I’m secretly happy and I’m not sure if it’s adrenaline but sometimes I will be talking about this problem or thinking and I get the same feeling in my face/chest like im ‘excited’ or about to laugh or smile and when I looked it up it says anxiety and excitement can feel the same and im wondering if im jsut confused now the other thing is I literally don’t know when im feeling anxious anymore when it comes to ocd. Like sometimes I end up thinking about the thoughts and with the shudder thing I strain my body when I do it/like tense up and Soemtiems I get hot and cold feeling come over me but I still don’t recognise that as anxiety and think that I’m somehow deliebralty making myself feel like that and it’s fake and I’m not anxious and I literally jsut don’t even know when I’m anxious and it’s worrying. Also I feel like I’m literally constantly thinking I’m bad or imagining myself doing something bad and it’s like what the heck like, when I try to think to myself ‘no I would never do that’ I don’t believ it and some how think it’s would happen because I would ‘give in’ or want to do it eventually and it feels like after all these crap thoughts and how much I’m believing it and even believing I ‘like the feeling of doing the thoughts’ because apparently I know how it feels to act on thee thoughts like how it feels to physically do these horrible things and how my hands would feel doing it and everything and apparently it feels like I I like the feeeling but I’m still not sure if that’s my adrenaline/anxiety that makes me feel like i ‘like the feeling of doing that horrible thing’ but it’s literally making me belive because it feels like I like the feeling thag now its impossible that I would ‘never do that’ and that’s worrying me as well. I don’t want to be crazy or bad or anything in fact I’ve always loved helping people and to now be literally believing that I’m this evil person who likes the feeling of doing these horrible things it’s very very hard to deal with and after over two years of dealing with this crap I’m still suffering and it’s jsut awful and it’s like the only time I feel better is if I have something to look forward to and am pre occupied and it seems to go but then I think we’ll why is that does that mean it’s all fake and I’ve jsut forgotten about being evil but still am evil and also like I can’t even stay home anymore I use to live staying home but when i stay home I feel like I start going mad with this ocd crap and it feels more and more real and it’s so scary but I don’t even know if I’m scared like I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore when it comes to this ocd I jsut no since I started having this I’ve become such an angry person I get aggitated so quickly and I feel so much pent up stress and anger its so sad. I started staying home and it as okay for a bit and then it started happening and the worrying and everything and to to the point where at some point I thought I wanted to kill and bury my mom and I told her about all of it and I don’t even know how she feels hearing all this crap. I think I would feel very worried if someone kept telling me disturbing things like that. But I literally started imaging those things like the killing and burying thing to ‘test’ myself then i started thinking how do I know I’m thinking about it to test myself and not because I want to see if ‘I like it’ because I’m actually evil …? And then like I never felt anxious but it felt almost like it was an urge and that I wanted to do that burying thing and it was very concerning - see I’m typing this and I keep worrying I’m lying about being ‘concerned’ …but it felt so real like it made me feel like I ‘wanted to do that’ or liked it and there was no anxiety and jsut felt like an urge and it was very unsettling - I can’t even write ‘it was very scary’ because I think I might be lying about being scared… I don’t even know anymore my doubt levels are to another level and I don’t know how to deal with this I literally doubt so much it’s to an extreme my doubt levels like I don’t even believe myself and im believing something but feel like I don’t want it to be true but feel like it’s true that im bad and like the feeling of ‘smothering’ … this has been the worst thought I’ve been stuck of for like two years I still don’t know if it’s my anxiety making it feel like that but it feels like I know what it feels like to smother someone like how my hands feel doing that actions and that I like the feeling and my chest feels like idk and I’m jsut confused and because of that I’m not believing it’s impossible and I would actually be evil because I would choose to do it because I like it … I’m so confused and sad and wish I could jsut be normal, if anyone has read this to the end Thank you for listening and I’m sorry you had to read all this garbage it’s honestly such a load of crap and I don’t know what to do

Ive chatted with romantically attached women on the explicit chat website... people on the site tell me im a good person and that people on the site are here for their own reasons, or their partners allow them to be, but i still feel horrible about the three women who were keeping secret from their partners... (not the ones whose partners allow them to be on there...) this one girl is the one i regret the most because she was in a relationship with the girl on the site and didnt want me to tell her... i feel like a horrible person... even though many people on the site tell me im not... and that its all fantasy and not real... me and her have chatted several times so i feel like a bad person because of those several times... and ive wanted to chat with her... i feel horrible because of this... i only want to be a good person... i only want to do good things... but no matter how many people on the site reassure me, i still feel horrible because of this...

Hi everyone, I'm writing to ask if anyone has found a technique to stop compulsively researching stuff on Google. Oftentimes I get completely stuck researching things and can't stop even if I want to. My therapist has told me that when I get the urge i should focus on something else or focus on what my senses are perceiving. However, if I try to focus on my sensations, the stimuli that I get are not strong enough to distract me, or they don't last long enough, while, on the other hand, if I try to focus on a different activity, my mind is completely unable to focus and keeps going back to the thing that I want to search. Do you have any other suggestion?

So I’ve been suffering with intense health anxiety for a few years now, and just recently I learned it may be caused by OCD. It’s to the point where every time I get a headache I start to freak out, scared that I could be having an aneurysm. I am far too worried about having a stroke or heart attack for being 21. I can’t even enjoy a casual, relaxing hot shower anymore. I have to slowly increase the temperature when getting in and slowly decrease the shower while getting out because I am afraid that any drastic temperature change can give me a heart attack. I know deep down that these fears are illogical, but no matter how often I get them they still feel just as real every time. I try to reason with myself, but every time I feel mild discomfort in my body I can’t help but freak out. I am so tired of checking my face in the mirror for symptoms of stroke every time I get a headache or feel a weird sensation in my body. Every other day of the week I force myself to stay awake for a certain period of time because I’m scared if I go to sleep I won’t wake up. I get hymnic jerks every single night (where you jolt awake when drifting to sleep) because my brain is so occupied with making sure I’m staying alive that it jolts me awake because my body is trying to sleep while my mind stays awake. It’s so difficult for me to pay attention during lectures because I get so caught up in my health anxiety that I’m focusing on grounding techniques in order to keep myself from hyperventilating. I spend more time making sure I can understand the words my professor is saying to make sure I’m not having a stroke than actually paying attention to the lectures. Another thing I struggle with is having to count my medication every time before I take it to make sure I didn’t accidentally take two or more doses, even if I KNOW I only took one. I have to count them anyways otherwise my mind will convince me I overdosed. It will not stop until I count my medication and make sure I didn’t overdose. It’s honestly so tiring, and the sad part is that my health anxiety has actually gotten better. It was even worse before now, and everything I’ve listed is stuff that I still do. Does anyone else have this struggle? Because it feels so isolating and makes me feel like I’m going crazy.

Everyone meet: the bag. He’s been around for almost a year now. It is time this bag is conquered and OUT of my room. I suffer with severe contamination OCD and have difficulty cleaning. About seven months ago, a mouse was discovered in the house, and was suspected to have originated from this very bag…This bag that I used to carry miscellaneous college supplies when I moved out… Mouse poop was discovered underneath it. And ever since then, I’ve been TERRIFIED to clear out this bag. EVERYTHING, I mean EVERYTHING inside is “contaminated.” Mouse poop!!! MOUSE POOP! My luck! And don’t even try to search up the diseases mouse poop carry, because I did and now I can’t even touch this bag without panic. See that packaged item next to it? It is untouched, because it fell on the bag. 🤦‍♀️Even being within a RADIUS of the bag can cause “contamination,” as if the bag emits a poisonous smog. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Guys, even as I say this I’m understanding the ludicrousness, but I NEED to deal with this bag. There’s so many precious items inside. All “contaminated.” Anyone have any idea how to do this!!?

Hi! I don’t even know what I’m trying to get from this, I think I just need to get it out of my system around people who know what OCD feels like. I have a partner which I love a lot, I feel like we have a great, healthy relationship, we communicate a lot. She never got to know me at my really ill or ,lowest points‘ with OCD. I’ve been relatively stable for some time, but I have this big fear of getting bad again, making her feel bad, having breakdowns in front of her and now tonight I had a panic attack because I kept spiralling. (Intrusive thoughts about how I might be manipulating her, might be bad for her) It’s like I start feeling bad and then I try to force my way out of it but I can’t, and instead I panic and start rambling and scaring myself because I sound incoherent or stumble upon my words, and then I panic that I’m disturbing her and/or losing my mind and destroying our relationship by exposing her to this part of me. I feel like rationally I know I don’t have to freak out but there’s still this terrified little child inside of me that will completely panic and hate myself in these moments. I guess I just would like for someone to say they understand what this feels like or that they’ve been through something similar. I just feel like I desperately want to say the right thing, and not behave like the weirdest person ever, but the more I want that, the more I freak out. Aaah. I don’t want to go back to this mess. And I don’t want to drag her into it. Right now I wish I could just erase the past hour and apologize in the right, correct way, as to soothe her and redo everything weird I said - but I know that’s just my need to control everything aka my compulsions nagging at me :(

Is it normal to go numb to thoughts? I’ve been struggling for 3 months with intense fear and all of a sudden I am not anymore. While this may seem like healing, I’m incredibly worried I’m not scared anymore. I know that’s crazy. It’s causing me to be scared that the thoughts are mine because I’m not reacting to them.

I haven’t been on this app in months. I went from not being able to leave the house for over a year to getting a new job and going out with friends. I improved so much. Of course my OCD triggers would bother me but not how it used to. I had harm ocd and pocd. Wouldn’t really say “had” since I still struggle here and there with those two. But tonight took a turn for the worst. I won’t go into detail because this time it’s extremely personal. But to keep it simple I think I’ve developed a new trigger. I was exploring myself sexually for a few weeks now and it’s been normal I would say. But today I felt this urge to “explore” myself again and so I did but the feeling won’t go away. No matter how much I “explore” myself. It made me panic thinking I’ve become addicted to it or something is wrong with me. Why won’t this feeling go away? And now anything remotely sexual makes me have these intrusive thoughts and make that “feeling” more intense which in turn makes my anxiety worse. I feel hopeless. And I’m not even sure if it is OCD because I can feel the urge. It’s not just the intrusive thoughts but I feel it. And if you’re confused by what I’m saying I mean a feeling of arousal. It won’t go away and I have strong urges to relieve myself. But what if it will never go away and I can’t stop myself? Someone please tell me if they’ve experienced this before or if this is even OCD. I’ve experienced OCD and I can’t tell if this is it or not just because this is something completely new to me. I’m really panicking.

hii, i struggle with spiritual ocd and for me that means i have protection necklaces and i can’t take them off in fear of something happening. any tips that might help me manage this??

Hello. I have been on here for a while but this is my first post. I'll cut to the point. I've always wanted kids. And now that my husband and I are trying for a kid.. I'm so nervous about it. I have a hard time touching doors and foreign objects because of germs as it is. And i'm worried all pregnancy is going to do is increase my anxiety. The fear is so intense that tonight I told my husband maybe I don't want kids?.. I do. But I don't know if I can put myself through hormone changes like that when I feel like I can't even control my anxiety most days nows. I've felt like this for 3 years....

I have been heterosexual all my life and been exclusively attracted to women in all aspects. Although, admittedly that I find all people aesthetically attractive (regardless of gender), it was in my nature to complement them and admire them for who they are. I’m currently in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and have been happy up until the end of 2023. It wasn’t until the start of January where the normal things that I did made me question about my sexuality. I kept obsessing over it and overthinking about it up until the point that I kept asking for reassurance from my family and partner as well as none-stop researching about it. It has been taking up my time in school and I’m losing my sleep. My mind was telling me that I was bisexual or gay, but deep down it felt wrong like it wasn’t me. I was having thoughts and fantasies that would wake me up and feel repulsed. I am slowly staring to get numb and be emotionless. I also have been very anxious and have started to get attractions and arousals that I didn’t like. I’m also starting to lose attraction to my partner and there have been instances where the thoughts were so close to convincing me. I just want to be happy with my girlfriend and I don’t want to lose our relationship as well as our future. I don’t also want to lose my self. I have been getting false attractions, groinal responses, thoughts and images that are bothersome and makes me feel repulsed. It gets worse whenever I analyze my past. I don’t know what to do and I just want to cry.

(Long message) Today I’m feeling guilty about how I haven’t reached out to my (ex?) best friend for months. Here’s some back story: So I’ve been best friends with this girl since middle school and she’s always been nasty, very opinionated, very explosive, and was the type of person to say that being a “bitch” was a part of her personality. Also she would make snarky comments to me, she just isn’t a nice person overall. So you can kinda get a good idea of what kind of person she is. Anyway, we were super close and we decided to dorm together our freshman year of college (yes I knew that it could end badly), and it was pretty good the 1st semester but I started to get more irritated during the 2nd, mainly about small things but it kinda turned into me getting annoyed by every single thing. This was last year. At the beginning of last summer, I had wanted to distance myself just for like a week or two, just cuz I had lived with her for a year and I didn’t want to get irritated further. So that clearly took a wrong turn cuz then she started getting mad about how I wasn’t really hanging out with her, I was always with my bf, etc. Meanwhile she had only asked me to hang out about 4 times throughout the summer and 2 of those times I was already out with my bf. Then she was always starting unnecessary arguments with me, saying how our friendship was one-sided, and at that point I just didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. But I never told her about anything I was thinking, and the reason why I never did was cuz ever since middle school I was always afraid to share my opinions to her in fear that she’d explode and get mad, so for me to tell her how I felt about our friendship was a no-go, which wasn’t the best decision but it is way too late now. Fast forward to now, I’m at a different college (not cuz of her), it is the 2nd semester and the last time I’ve seen her was New Year’s Eve, and that was the last time I spoke to her. I’ll admit, ever since the summer I’ve been having this one-sided conflict with her, just bc of everything that happened and also the specific things she’s said to me during everything that rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously she doesn’t know I have these feelings towards her but like I said, it is way too late to say anything, even if it wasn’t I wouldn’t say anything, and I just have to live with it. But I have felt guilty about these feelings for a while, on and off, but also that I haven’t reached out to her. She hasn’t reached out to me either though. This is literally what I wanted too, I wanted to slowly drift apart from her and that’s what happened, but I just feel so guilty that I secretly hate her and I won’t reach out to her cuz of it, even tho she hasn’t said anything to me either. I just had to get that off my chest, but is this considered real-events ocd? Can anyone relate?

I feel the right thing to do is own upto my rape memory/thought, It was when I was intoxicated and walking home on my own I feel I grabbed someone and committed an awful act on them. What shall I do

I’ve dealt with all subtypes at some point in my life, and all are destructive and debilitating…No question there. But nothing has infuriated me personally more than my cheating OCD. Hear me out. For the rest, they were centered around ME being a bad or evil person, but I was used to that. Self-loathing at least keeps the suffering within me and me only… But this cheating OCD…Is making me distrust and doubt the best person in my life. It’s projecting my disease onto someone ELSE…It’s not fair! I prefer the cheating OCD to be ON ME, I’d prefer to fear I am the cheater than to ever suspect him!! I’ve been through it, and it was preferred to this! At least I could just hate myself, and not him!!!!! Having my OCD target and fixate on the person I love the most is the WORST.

I live in college dorm apartment and have three other roomates. The other two that share a room have made complaints toward my roomate and I about little things like leave 1 dish in the dish rack. So at the beginning of moving in I asked if blow drying my hair in the AM was too loud they said after 7 AM was ok, so I have abided by it. They also had commented that we were “slamming doors” mind you, our doors are less than half a foot away from each other including mine and my roomates bathroom door. So I try to be as quiet as possible. Well three days ago they put as passive aggressive sticky note on my door complaining about the “door slamming” I open and close the door twice before 8 AM and they basically said limit the door slamming until 8 AM which is the dorm time of making noise. However we have classes really early and also stated in our profil that we would be waking up prior to 7 am or earlier. And I’m so confused because my roomie just acts innocent and I do all the talking. And I feel like there’s jealously and hostility coming from the other two girls, and I haven’t even done anything. I don’t play music, I wash my dishes immediately after cooking. I vacuum and clean common areas. And it does make sense to me how I can blow dry my hair at 7 AM but they’re complaining my open a door before 8 AM wakes them up but not the sound of a loud blow dryer?? So anyways I told my RA bc I’m tired of them picking on me. And we have a mediation meeting this upcoming week, and I have been having a bad ocd episode questioning myself if I’ve done something wrong or if if I’m going to get in trouble even though the hostility is coming from them. My current roomie started acting cold bc we were already kind of having distance because of some unhealthy things I saw and didn’t want to be part of. So my roomie has kinda instigated making jokes like oh that’s your best friend abt my roomates and like used to bring them up everyday yet acts innocent in front of them, and allowing me to look like the bad person for standing up for myself. Anyways the ocd is out of hand and I feel intense sadness bc I haven’t done anything and I’m paranoid that they’re going to say bad things about me at the mediation meeting and make me look bad but I doubt the person hosting our meeting would allow that behavior. Any recommendations on how to cope?

My ROCD has been hyperfocused on why my sex life with my husband has been a lot less frequent. Thinking he’s lying, thinking I’m not good enough, etc. I started getting triggered by romantic scenes in movies and books, they make me really sad and want to stop watching.

Does anyone ever feel like they are “reaching” for the thoughts almost to check it shows up? It makes it feel like it’s intentional but if is very much not because I believe the content of the thought, rather it is almost a sick need to have the thought even though I don’t want the thought. Does that make any sense?

Hey everyone, I’m not sure if this is super OCD related, but I figured I’d post just to maybe feel less alone. I’m always worried in the back of my mind that I might have cancer, and it’s not for nothing, I have had two types of cancer before I was 10 years old. The fear doesn’t take over my life, but it’s definitely there. I recently got sent to check a large lump that appeared on my thyroid, and all diagnostics coming back so far are ruling out the easy non-cancer options. I’m worried, it’s not an unfounded worry, but it’s starting to interfere with my life in a way that feels like OCD. I’m scared, and if I’m completely honest, I’m extremely sad. The last thing I want to do is get life changing bad news in the middle of an OCD spiral. Anyway, thank you for reading, I think I just needed to get that off my chest ❤️‍🩹

hi ok so. typing this im terrified. 2023 was a really hard year for me. there was this girl at my work who made my life hell. i was 21 she was 29 and she would make shit about me to tell my coworkers. I left that job feb 2023. the next couple months I was unemployed and going in and out of depressive mode and ocd constantly triggered and I could not break my routine. the stress of being broke was an everyday mental game. then I returned to work in October and got hit with shitty sicknesses left and right. I got a stomach bug x2 and covid from my girlfriends parents and got the flu in january and had an ovarian cyst rupture which led to a uti and then the medicine from the uti gave me a yeast infection… not fun. Then bc of the flu I sat and couldn’t shower and got a tailbone cyst bc of excess sitting…. it sucks because I would get sick and then get so panicked about being sick and make it worse and then start to feel better and make myself sick again or just get sick because of like unavoidable things like flu or covid. it caused me to be Hyperaware of my body and feelings and symptoms and it just caused so much stress. I’m trying to tell myself everything ok and I even tried to help it with therapy and I got a therapist (not on here) and tried to tell her about all of this and the health anxiety has just been hypersensitive lately and all she said was, “That’s a lot. Is it an underlying condition you’re unaware of?” why would u say that to me. what the fuck. and I told her I had health ocd/anxiety. I just felt so unheard and not listened to. I’ve been trying to regulate my nervous system to make everything get better but it’s hard when I’ll just be sitting and feel butterflies in my stomach. I just feel like people don’t understand. and I just want to feel less stress so I can stop getting symptoms which make me s*ck. thanks for listening