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the NOCD Community

Has anyone been prescribed Zoloft for ocd? Has it been helpful? Hope soon did you see results - improved mood and less anxiety.

People make it sound like with partner focused ROCD, the flaws you obsess about aren’t actually real or legitimate, they’re just in your head, but is it also normal to focus on flaws that do actually exist? Like recently I’ve been super obsessed over my bf’s occasionally whiny voice, whether he means it to be whiny or not. And it’s a real thing that I have physically witnessed, it’s not just in my head, and I can’t stop obsessing over it. It feels harder to try and get over when I know it’s a real thing, not just something I’m making up. I keep wanting to not feel this way but I’m worried it will never happen because the things I’m obsessing about aren’t always in my head, they’re physically being played out in front of me, and I can’t make that change. I’m scared.

Hi everyone. I really want to go back to enjoying my life. I know its possible as i felt like this before 7 years ago but i am to much in my head to remember how i snapped out of it. I keep having panic attacks. I know there panic attacks. I know there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I know im not gonna just drop dead. Yet i keep getting anxious. I absolutely love my life. I have a job i enjoy. A loving husband and two beautiful children. Although we have normal life struggles i am still happy with my life. Yet 4 weeks ago my panic attacks started again. After being dormant for 7 years. Im afraid of death and leaving my family and life. I dont know why i am so afraid. I am a Christian (although i dont go to church) i believe in God and i believe my life is planned out for me. I believe whatever is gonna happen will happen and we are just along for the ride. I know whenever my times comes it will be my time. No amount of panicking will change that. I guess despite my faith i am human and the unknown of death and the fear if what i believe isnt real i could cease to exist and thats terrifying. I just want to be able to take on life not living in fear.

I've struggled for years thinking if I offend God, he'll unalive me in my sleep. I think every pain is a sign I've offended him. The issue is, I'm not religious. Not in that way. I was raised pagan. But my brain is like "God is gonna kill you" and I obsess over dying. Im terrified. Because i believethere is life after death but my brain wont let me believe it in bad obsessive times. Am I alone in this?

they don’t go well with OCD. I was asked by my mother if I could make some chocolate covered strawberries for her boss+coworker. I have made them multiple times before and they always end up okay. now im worried about making it for them though. what if i get them sick? what if they get sick and my mother loses her job? what am i supposed to do about it…. obviously i wash everything before i make the strawberries so i know that everything is clean. i have only ever made them for family so i don’t use gloves or anything (gross?) should I just buy some gloves to make it for them? is that me being dramatic?? it’s either i wash my hands constantly or make them with gloves. i feel so bad for all the ones i already made for my family, what if they get sick?

i feel like im being crushed by the weight of deadlines and my thoughts. i have so much to do in the next 3 weeks and i feel so distracted by my brain. i just got diagnosed with OCD and it feels good to put a name to all these endless thoughts i have. i think so much and never get a break and on top of it im so overwhelmed by assignments i feel paralyzed (i have adhd, too). even when i do things i enjoy my brain still somehow thinks of something to ruin the moment. 🫠

my rocd changed back to ex theme (which freaking sucks) so in the beginning of my relationship my fiancé didn’t gave me any memories of my exs a lot he looks very different from them but like 2 weeks in I scared believing he was my ex since I was 13-14 and etc. and I thought my ex was getting quote on quote revenge or pay back (I’m was being very delusional) so now us being 1 year and 9 months now I’m getting the same thoughts as before again now I did thought about how sometimes he brings back memories of an ex that I simply don’t want to remember and has moved on from it (even tho my rocd wants to say I haven’t but I did bc I would choose my fiancé over everyone else in the whole world) but now it has gotten so much worse especially since I had a dream about them and him and obviously I choosen my fiancé but I think that’s what really triggered in ep today because on ft he reminded me of them again and I was like wtf and I moved on from it but the intrusive thought keeps on popping up in my head over and over and I even gotten this heart sinking feeling in my chest aswell so I tried to calm down and look at photos of him bc it really calm my nerves but it only gotten worse the photos i saw of him looked a lil like my ex and I will panick and would get this heart sinking feeling in my chest and it won’t go away and the thought of my ex won’t go away even tho it’s makes me so uncomfortable… the only thing that’s similar is literally the hairstyle, and the glasses if far away and maybe the face structure but I never realized that until now when I’m in this ep and manners?? Which was also smt that I never thought was similar until I had this ep and I completely think I’m panicking so much that it’s making it so much worse and I honestly want this to end now. I have no desire to be, to see, to speak, or to even think about this person!!!! NOT TO EVEN DREAM!!!! Even if my rocd says I do miss them or wtv but I truly know I don’t! So please help me and give me some advice I’m so tired of this and I just want to live a happy life with my future husband

Over half a year ago, This girl wanted me to roleplay a CNC scene with her and to not ask the next time we chatted online I believe... (i cant remember if this happened or not) When we started doing that the next time we met, she suddenly left the chat. So Im scared on if consent wasnt given. I remember her saying that she got booted the next time I talked to her, and asking if she wanted to continue where we left off, but im not too sure and I cant recollect it... as a part of the roleplay, she would say things like "stop" and I think she roleplayed her movements but I dont remember if this was a part of the roleplay, or her genuinely telling me to stop... my friend on the explicit chat site says that since its been over 6 months, that I most likely didnt do anything to hurt her and that I should move on, but my intrusive thoughts keep saying that I violated this womans consent, when a womans consent is the most important thing to me... my harm ocd keeps saying I SA'ed the woman and intrusive thoughts of her saying this and I just throw up every time...

Can it make you believe you’re in love with someone else (who is not your partner), to the point of mad obsession? While I recognize what false attraction is and that OCD can cause you to fixate on people, this one case has me doubting everything and I’m terrified. I have to hold back my tears constantly especially when my partner shows up, because I love him SO MUCH, to the point I’d lose my mind without him, and I feel like God is torturing me by making me fixate on this other guy, who I barely know and whose face I barely remember. But why does it feel so intense and so real!? I feel like I will never be capable of true love because I have been “programmed” to be unfaithful. And I feel disgusted that I allow myself to be with my loving partner who I know is faithful and true, while I “betray” him in my mind. Someone please help me.

When your OCD says you SA'ed a girl online, and you cant even remember all the details fully to dispute these intrusive thoughts, it genuinely hurts because I dont even know what to trust within myself...

Over half a year ago, This girl wanted me to roleplay a CNC scene with her and to not ask the next time we chatted online I believe... (i cant remember if this happened or not) When we started doing that the next time we met, she suddenly left the chat. So Im scared on if consent wasnt given. I remember her saying that she got booted the next time I talked to her, and asking if she wanted to continue where we left off, but im not too sure and I cant recollect it... as a part of the roleplay, she would say things like "stop" and I think she roleplayed her movements but I dont remember if this was a part of the roleplay, or her genuinely telling me to stop... my friend on the explicit chat site says that since its been over 6 months, that I most likely didnt do anything to hurt her and that I should move on, but my intrusive thoughts keep saying that I violated this womans consent, when a womans consent is the most important thing to me... my harm ocd keeps saying I SA'ed the woman and intrusive thoughts of her saying this and I just throw up every time...

This is going to be a longer post so hats off to the ones who take time to read it, luv you besties 🫶 So I’ve been struggling for the past 6 months or so with what I hope is ROCD, though I don’t know for sure because I’m not diagnosed. I really struggle sometimes because my bf is a little weird, I’m willing to fully admit that. He’s just a little hyper and goofy and different from other guys, which can be really great at times, because he doesn’t take himself so seriously that he isn’t willing to have fun, he’s willing to be open with his emotions, and he isn’t easily uncomfortable or embarrassed, and I’m not like that. I get nit-picky about those behaviours as times, but I just like to rationalize it by calling it his golden retriever energy, which I think is a cute way of looking at it. But he’s also awkward at times, there are times where he does something super weird or cringy or irritating and I can’t stop thinking about it, playing it over in my head, and it bugs me so much, and I try to rationalize it but I can’t. One thing I really struggle with, is his voice. For example, yesterday I hung out with him, and we were talking, and I was about to say something but stopped myself half way through the sentence because it was a secret I didn’t want to give away, and then he started sounding really whiny as he said “you can’t do that” “why won’t you tell me” or something like that. And it wasn’t like angry whiny, it was a little more lighthearted, but I don’t think he was being ironic or jokingly whiny, I think it was genuinely him just sounding whiny, and then all of a sudden mid sentence he cut back to a regular voice. It made the whole thing just sound really cringy and not very masculine, like he was poorly acting, but I know he wasn’t, it was all genuine, just really cringey. And I can’t stop playing it over and over in my head, trying to make sense of it, trying to make myself feel better about the whole situation rather than uncomfortable. I do that with a lot of things that he does tho, even normal things, but I especially have a hard time with his voice and his vocal inflections and idiosyncrasies and the way he sounds in certain situations, literally every little thing. I obsess over whether he sounds/acts masculine enough and normal enough, I keep picking apart every time he sounds whiny, whether he’s actually whining or not, sometimes his voice just sounds whiny because he has a higher pitched voice and he can’t really change it. I pick apart his voice when he laughs about something, or when he sounds excited or happy. I pick apart his voice when he tells stories. I can’t stop, and it makes it super difficult to be present in conversations. Idk if it’s ROCD, because he does genuinely do odd things that make me cringy and bug me from time to time, sometimes even things that are a bit of a turn off, but I think I get so carried away that it becomes way bigger than it needs to be. Is it ok, even if I didn’t have ROCD, to find things that he does weird, cringy, annoying, a turn off, etc? Sometimes it genuinely feels like the “ick” (I hate that term so much). Is it normal, even in regular relationships, to experience this “ick” feeling? Everyone seems to say that when you like someone, nothing they do is weird or cringy to you, you never get the ick, and if you do then it’s times to move on. But I’ve also heard others say that it’s not about them being perfect or not having any Icks at all, it’s about loving them enough to look past the Icks and not focus on the cringy things they do. Is this true? If so, then how can I do this? The other day he told me he loves being with me because he feels like he can genuinely be himself without judgement, but little does he know that all my brain is ever doing is picking him apart and judging everything he says or does, and that’s not fair to him. He is such an amazing person, and he deserves so much better than me.

I also have pocd and real events OCD regarding explicit anime/explicit cartoon corn too… (14, 17-18) the content was on public sites and some of them said the characters that were underage in canon, were 18+ in the content, so I thought they were safe to watch… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… some of the explicit anime characters looked and were really young… and i avoided most of the content involving the really young anime characters, but i thought some of this content wasnt Pediphilic because they were on public explicit sites and had millions of views… so i thought it was safe to watch... I didnt know how horrible the young anime character content was or what it represented… I assumed that some of this content was safe to look at because it was on public sites and had millions of views… and doing my research about it later on made me vomit… i dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… there were some anime characters that looked and were extremely young… i didnt know how horrible this type of content was or what it represented… When i was looking at explicit anime content (i was 19 and was making sure the characters were over the age of 18) I accidentally looked at characters that were 17 by mistake... (a couple times even though the site said all characters have to be 18+) my pocd is saying im in denial for all of this... this, combined with my previous pocd and real events based on this... makes me just feel so alone...

Over half a year ago, This girl wanted me to rp a CNC scene with her and to not ask the next time we chatted online. When we started doing that the next time we met, she suddenly left the chat. So Im scared on if consent wasnt given. I remember her saying that she got booted the next time I talked to her, and asking if she wanted to continue where we left off, but im not too sure and I cant recollect it... as a part of the roleplay, she would say "stop" and I think she roleplayed her movements but I dont remember if this was a part of the roleplay, or her genuinely telling me to stop... my friend on the explicit chat site says that since its been over 6 months, that I most likely didnt do anything to hurt her and that I should move on, but my intrusive thoughts keep saying that I violated this womans consent, when a womans consent is the most important thing to me... my harm ocd keeps saying I SA'ed the woman and intrusive thoughts of her saying this and I just throw up every time...

I’m finding it really hard to comfort my long distance boyfriend he’s really low but I’m also feeling so low and I feel really guilty because he says I’m not there for him I’m trying to comfort him I’m getting so angry at myself because I just am finding it so hard to be there for someone when I’m getting sh thoughts Feel guilty and he thinks I’m making it about me Idk what to do I have no one to talk to because I can’t talk to him about it as he’s going through stuff

Does anyone else struggle with sitting in public seats. I always have to check if the seat is clean or sometimes I wipe it before I sit. At home I have designating “clean” chairs. If there’s a stain on the chair I freak out and assume it’s bodily fluids.

Does anyone else’s have like at least one false memory every day? And do anyone else ruminates about something that just happened because at the time the event happened you had an intrusive image and you don’t really know what happened at the moment ? I’m not diagnosed and I’m working really hard but this is super scary and I worry I’m just in denial or being a really bad person

Over half a year ago, This girl wanted me to rp a CNC scene with her and to not ask the next time we chatted online. When we started doing that the next time we met, she suddenly left the chat. So Im scared on if consent wasnt given. I remember her saying that she got booted the next time I talked to her, and asking if she wanted to continue where we left off, but im not too sure and I cant recollect it... as a part of the roleplay, she would say "stop" and I think she roleplayed her movements but I dont remember if this was a part of the roleplay, or her genuinely telling me to stop... my friend on the explicit chat site says that since its been over 6 months, that I most likely didnt do anything to hurt her and that I should move on, but my intrusive thoughts keep saying that I violated this womans consent, when a womans consent is the most important thing to me..:

I cannot stop thinking about and judging my girlfriend (almost 23) for sleeping with a 34 year old before we met. She said she didn’t know his age and thought he was younger (I made her find out his age for my own ocd purposes) its ruining our relationship and my view of her. Please someone give me some sort of advice. I thought I was going to break up with her when she told me, but I just am devastated and have no clue what I’m feeling.

was hugging my cat and she got annoyed and meowed and i got sad and thought how could anyone hurt any animals then i start getting thoughts like u want to hurt one u want to really hurt one even ur own cats and it made me scared but i have little anxiety it made me sad tho. when i was little i had kicked my dog and that came up in my memories and now im scared i will hurt my pets. when i was younger i was weird and i have memories spaced out of me doing weird/bad stuff that i would never do now but it makes my ocd worse. I hate this :(