- Date posted
- 52w
Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! š¤
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Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! š¤
Lately, Iāve been feeling like something has changed in me ā like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. Itās one of the worst sensations Iāve ever felt. I keep thinking things like āI donāt love him like beforeā or āIāve changed too much to feel anything now.ā Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like Iām being mean, cold, disconnected ā and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now⦠I just donāt feel the same. That makes me think: āMaybe Iāve fallen out of love.ā But Iām also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I canāt relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is āright.ā It makes me wonder ā maybe I havenāt actually changed. Maybe Iām just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I donāt know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isnāt proof that love is gone, but a sign that Iām scared and burnt out.
Guys I just wanted to hang up and I was looking at pornography every time I was you know do it and I would get bombarded with thoughts I'd get overwhelmed with them like my mind is just constantly thinking of and it was just so hard infuriating I was looking at like anime pornography and Isaw one of the videos that looks familiar I watched it before but I remember they had like a underage anime character and then I clicked off it as soon as I saw them and my mom said oh you clicked it just so you can see that and what makes it worse is like pretty ejaculation already leaked out so now it feels like I did it i didn't even jerk off to you all I did was see the thumbnail and then I have thoughts like saying oh well might as well already get off to it when it wasnt the content I wanted to see I seen that the thumbnail before in the sight I just ignored it was focusing on the video I wanted to see for now I feel like i have to restart everything not only with the overwhelming thoughts but also my thoughts made it feel like I was actively seeking it like if I want my thought it was like oh you knew it was going to be there but u still click it anyway oh yes I had a feeling but as soon as I saw it I clicked off I don't know I'm just overthinking I guess and also like as soon as I saw it like my mind had a urge like might aswell get off to it finish it very hard I don't even remember how I climaxed I don't even know if I did it right but now I feel like I have to restart
iāve been seeing the same therapist for over two years now. she does not specialize in ocd and i often find myself too afraid to talk about it with her. itās not necessarily her fault, but i feel like ive reached a point with her where she feels more like a friend than a therapist. i know that isnāt good and i should not feel that way. she is a very very kind person but i also feel like she doesnāt fully listen to me sometimes. we talk more about our day to day lives with one another rather than anxiety and worries at this point and i feel like i canāt suddenly reverse it? also, iāve expressed certain thoughts with her that she has laughed at or has not taken very seriously. this has made me really upset in the past and makes me feel awkward and not listened to. iāve mentioned these moments to friends and they think i should get a new therapist, but i feel so terrible because i am so used to her and i do like her as a person. i donāt really feel like ive been benefiting from therapy with her lately. again, we donāt really talk about ocd or anxiety which are my main issues. i want an ocd therapist so i can actually seek help but i canāt find one in person. iāve considered doing it through this app but im not a big fan of online therapy as i find it uncomfortable and awkward. iām willing to try tho. anyone have tips on how to āend thingsā with my therapist? iād rather not, but i know i need to prioritize my mental health over making her feel bad. and if anything, im sure sheād understand. i just feel bad
I can't focus on anything but my thoughts. I'm so inside my head, and my mom always tells me to focus on my body and my surroundings, but I can't, or maybe I just don't know how. I try to, but it doesn't help. The thoughts are still there :(
Advice, coping techniques, just distraction needed. Yesterday night, my parents asked me if I could take care of my baby brother and Iāve been wanting to help them out so of course I said yes, and I was taking care of him with my other brother. A big fear of mine that Iāve told my therapist about is that my OCD will latch on to my new baby brother. It hasnāt happened since he has come home with us, but now I feel like something is brewing. My little brother is prone to throwing up so he already got the shirt He was wearing all dirty so I went to my momās room and decided to change his onesie. I called my other brother for help by helping me sit him up while I put the shirt over his head after the shirt went over his head. My other brother was walking out and thatās when I clipped the buttons on the bottom of the onesie and continued to carry him around the house, but itās that action that my mind is obsessing over. Me clipping the buttons of my baby brotherās onesie. I canāt get over it. My mind keeps replaying that one thing because my thoughts are saying āoh what if you accidentally inappropriately touched him ā and I even went out of my way to avoid touching his diaper because I knew my head would start spinning shit like this. But ever since last night, I canāt stop thinking if I accidentally traumatized my little brother some how. I know I didnāt do anything wrong. Iāve helped my mom change my brotherās clothes before. My parents literally check his diaper if he soiled himself, but when I do anything that has to do with making sure my brother is clean and healthy my head tries to make me feel sick and crazy. The thoughts are getting worse and getting to the point where my head is trying to make me feel like Iām weird for wanting to change my brother out of his dirty clothes. Iām just so scared that these thoughts are gonna get worse and Iām trying not to freak out right now so I went for a walk outside. But im still getting such intense anxiety. I dont know how to cope or what to do advice coping techniques would be a such a help ive been doing so good with avoiding compulsions. I just need help to ground myself. I dont want to go to my mom with this ill feel worse. Is me writing this a compulsion?
ā¼ļøSexual Contentā¼ļø I have a new fear that I have a paraphiliac disorder and google says that people who do have these disorders experience distress about them which scares me so bad because I feel distressed about the potential of having one so isnāt that like the same thing? Iām scared that I already have one, and the distress Iām experiencing isnāt OCD but instead a side effect of being paraphiliac. I hate this Also whatās even worse is that I donāt even feel that anxious. Like yes I am anxious but not as much as I feel like I should be and Iām relatively calm. I feel like I should be more anxious for it to be OCD and I should be more anxious when faced with the threat of being paraphiliac and even though I am anxious, itās no where near as bad as it should be or has been in the past. What does that say about me? (I donāt want reassurance, all I want is advice to help me cope through OCD spikes) Iām so scared. I donāt want any of this. I donāt want to do paraphiliac things I donāt want to do anything that they do because those things make me uncomfortable but I feel like thatās what someone with a paraphiliac disorder would say. I am so f*cked
I need help I have a strong urge to look at pornography I consider myself straight although I have jerked off to trans porn before it's just I feel a urge to do it I was in class randomly just had a urge to look at porn I had a response pre ejaculation leaked while I had my eyes on something else I feel so ashamed I need help idk why I had this urge I just did idk what to do someone help I have fucked up thoughts too while looking at it sometimes of minors younger idk what to do I always get the same thoughts of my younger cousin need help
I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I've spent the morning crying, and I feel like I don't deserve to. I feel like I'm a horrible person or a... you know. I'm so sick of this. I'm just so tired of everything. I don't see my psychiatrist until two weeks from now. How am I going to make it till then? :( Even writing this post, I feel like I'm deceiving everyone and that I'm actually a monster. I'm so convinced of this right now. I don't know what to do. I was literally okay a few days ago. I don't even know what's real and what's not, like... I think I do? But everything is so distorted. I can't stop replaying memories trying to figure things out. I really need my psychiatrist right now. I feel like I need to confess, like I've been trying so hard not to, but every person I see, I just keep thinking about how badly I want to ask them if I'm a bad person or not, and that makes me feel worse. A good person wouldn't feel the need to ask that over and over again, would they? What if I'm just seeking validation because I can't accept that?
About a year ago, I was travelling back home with my mom from a city. This is so embarrassing to admit, but after so many hours of travelling, I got aroused. However, I didn't want to let go of that feeling and wanted to save it for later when I got home. So I deliberately relaxed my body and began thinking about **something** (yes something like that) I would watch later. I also knew that it would make me have a very slight reaction **down there** for half a second because the bus would go up and down slight hills on a bumpy road, causing me to feel like I'm falling on a rollercoaster, but would also cause make me feel something down there for half a second. I did it another two times deliberately, knowing that obviously it wasn't anything much and definitely wasn't obvious at all since I wasn't even doing anything physically. Is what I did unforgivable? Keep in mind I willingly did it knowing it wouldn't look like i was doing anything
I get thoughts of kids Whever I think or see an image of someone my age, like for example today I saw a bikini pic of a girl my age and it randomly reminded me of a pic of a kid in a bikini I saw a month ago, is this a sign of something bad? My thought usually come up when I think abt someone my age Iām into, and they also feel like Iām purposely thinking of them, Iām not sure if it intrusive thoughts or not, it feels difficult to figure out. These thoughts also donāt distress me anymore, idk if it means something bad or not, but I do not wish to be a pedo, I hope to eventually have a relationship with a girl my age. Alongside all of that, sometimes when I see a kid I get a sense of attraction, but Iām not sure if it is false or not, to me it feels so real, but I donāt wanna be attracted to kids. Iāve just started therapy, Iām currently trying to find a way to get a diagnosis, I really hope Iām not diagnosed as a pedo. Ik that false attraction comes with negative emotion, but I donāt feel negative emotion when I get what I hope is false attraction, I keep trying to figure out if what Iām feeling is false or true because I donāt feel negative emotions, it makes me worried that itās real and that I really am a pedo. Not looking for reassurance but can someone tell me if these are pure o ocd symptoms or something actually bad?
I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go š
18+ help pleaseeeeeeee What if heās actually doing it Iām worried So Iām convinced my 9 year old brother is raping me in my sleep i saw that the controller for the lamp was on my bed and I immediately thought he did something to me and he said he didnāt put that on my bed that he woke up and went to my moms room to change and I just got a suspicious feeling like maybe he did do something to me Iām worried about it Iām just thinking every time he tries to get close to me is because heās doing it for inappropriate reasons and I get weirded out by him being close to me or him looking at me or being talkative to me itās like Iām very suspicious I want to ask him because Iām worried like you think he could do that to me? (edited)
Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...
I'm 14m n I hope I have pocd and I've never got a official diagnosis, a lot of times I get what I hope is false attraction when I see certain kinds of kids, not all kids cause it, only some of them do, I'm worried that's a sign of actual acttraction, today I saw a reel on insta n it had some 8 year old kid in it, I felt what I hope is false attraction but it felt too real, I initially scrolled past it but I scrolled back idk why and watched the full reel with the kid in it, I really hope it was false attraction and not real, I don't understand why I scrolled back onto the reel, I don't think I should have done that, I'm worried it's actual attraction, just this past week I've met a girl my age whom I knew I was into, I don't get why this stuff is happening to me, but I don't want to be a pedo n I wanna be able to have a relationship with that girl I met. Also today I went to see a therapist for the first time and I described this situation and what I hope is false attraction, my therapist told me that feelings are just feelings unless you act on them, now I'm worried she was saying that I am attracted to kids but I'm just not acting on it, like I said, I really hope I'm not a pedo and that I hope I'm able to have a relationship with a girl my age but now I'm doubting myself so much, I'm starting to believe that I am just a pedo in denial, I don't understand what's happening with me anymore, I can't stand it all anymore. I've also never gotten a official diagnosis.
I got diagnosed with OCD (variant POCD) about 3/4 yeats ago. Lately I've been really confused and makes me uncomfortable this ideas that I've had dreams in my sleep where I have romantic/sexual interactions with my older siblingā I know it's disgusting, and I don't know what to do. Recently I got a boyfriend after years of being without a partner, and he makes me so happy along my friends, but sometimes at random points of the day I have this episodes with minors or my sibling, and the ones with him start to go heavier when I'm at home or alone. The first thing that comes to mind for me to do is always how much I don't wanna live, harm myself or what is my purpose at this point (22fem) having this problems. I feel weirded out when I pass them over, and suddendly think about not giving them the atention because how important they are in a negativa way. I'm just anxious writing this, I need help. Is someone living the same? How do you work on it? I will always be like this from now? ā thanks in avance and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my first language
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) Iāve been increasingly worried that Iām a zoophile (among other things) and that Iām attracted to my family dog. I love him and I take care of himāI take him out to poop and pee, I play with him, and I feed and water him. But I get nervous when I have to be around him for a long timeāI get these thoughts and they just wonāt stop. Iāll find myself looking at my dogās privates and having these strange urges. I feel horribleālike I couldāve done something to him or touched him inappropriately and conveniently donāt remember. I donāt know what to doā¦
I understand that everyone is different but lately I have been debating on medication just because of past experiences but does anyone have any good experiences with medication that has helped them with their OCD as well as therapy or treatment? As of now Iām dealing with it by myself but it feels like it may be getting worse
I am FINALLY starting to (somewhat) recover from this last existential spiral, which admittedly, was probably the cruelest my OCD has ever been to me. Only thanks to you all. You were all able to provide me with kindness, understanding and support⦠without the kind of reassurance that feeds OCD, of course. When I downloaded this app, I was genuinely terrified. I was so scared that I was permanently doomed to the endless whirlpool that is the thoughts produced by my own brain and that life as I knew it was over, that I would never be happy again. For anyone who might be feeling that way right now, your OCD is LYING to you! Whatever you may be going through, it CAN get better. As hard as it may be right now, HAVE FAITH! Get up and do that thing you want to do in spite of the fear and discomfort. Take the fear with you like a whiny, unwilling toddler and do it anyway. Watch the movie, read the book, order that takeout youāve been craving, bake the cake, wash the dishes⦠Please do it anyway! It will be hard at first, I wonāt lie. But the OCD part of your brain, like a toxic partner, WANTS to win. It wants you to give up on those things that you love, all those things that make you happy so that thereās no space for anything but itself. Donāt let it win. The more you push yourself, the more you rewire your brain to realize that as much as it may feel like, the obsession doesnāt matter! Thanks to you all, even without therapy (YET - Iām starting that journey on Tuesday because thereās still a lot to unpack, and I know that OCD wonāt just magically go away), I was able to get a basic understanding of ERP and learning to sit with discomfort and how to live life in spite of it, rather than letting it take over my very being. So for that, I thank this community. I think I would be in a very different place right now if it werenāt for the people Iāve met here who truly understood my experiences. I hope you have a wonderful day. Please donāt give up. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your brain is telling you ā¤ļø
The thought of ocd being long-term is scaring me pretty bad. My therapist told me in our first visit last week that it will always come back and it triggered me. I know everyone says itās manageable, but I keep having the thought that I wonāt be able to handle it the rest of my life and I will want to suic. myself. I am terrified :(
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