My boyfriend used to be friends with this girl before he met me. He told me they were friends for about two months, and they sat next to each other in a class they shared. They had each otherās numbers, but she never had social media. Iād see them walking around together sometimes but never cared because I didnāt even know who he was or anything. I did know who she was, though, because she was friends with my best friend and she was briefly in my Spanish class. I was very jealous of her because she was so naturally pretty.
Anyway, my boyfriend had liked me for a while until he finally approached me and we started talking. He stopped being friends with her because she āplayed with his feelingsā and confused him. I guess she made it seem like she liked him or something, but then he heard from one of his friends that she was a lesbian, idk. He said he never saw her in that way to begin with and that he just wanted friends because he was new. He told me they never hung out outside of school. He said they planned to go eat somewhere by our school one time but never did. He also said she would ghost him.
Anyway, I never questioned her or anything like that for the first year of our relationship. I never felt insecure either, and I fully believed I was the only girl in the world to my boyfriend. He told me he had been cheated on in the past, and someone very close to him had been cheated on as well, so I never believed he could do that to me. I also know his mom would be very upsetāhe was raised around mostly women in a Hispanic household.
Some months ago, he sent me a screenshot of something on Instagram, and her account was in his suggestions, even though they had no mutuals. She had just created a social media account, which, as I said, she never had before. Thatās the day I started overthinking. I stalked her a lot, and I was so incredibly jealousāstill am. I want to be her so badly.
I began questioning my boyfriend about her. Iād ask him about their relationship and whether he liked her or found her attractive, and Iād do it all the time. He always said heād never liked her and that he found her very ugly. Some things he said were that she always had eye boogers, was performative, anorexic, and ugly. I already told him the anorexic comment was weird, and that was a while ago. I think he thought that if he overly insulted her, it would make me stop being stubborn and believe him, but that wasnāt the case.
Anyway, a mutual friend my boyfriend and I used to have said he would give her snacks sometimes and would black out all the nutritional information since she had an ED. She also said he made a pros and cons list about her and that he liked the idea of her. This mutual friend lies a lot, though, apparently, but my boyfriend said the snack thing was true.
He also had another girl friend who I know posts Gracie sometimes, which makes me insecure because he sees her on that friendās stories. Her name is Gracie, so Iāll call her that to avoid confusion. He went to a friendās birthday party about three months ago. This is the same friend who posts Gracie sometimes, so I knew Gracie would be there. I didnāt feel comfortable with my boyfriend going and being around her because I was so insecure. I told him to ask the girl friend if Gracie was going to be there.
At first, he made it sound like he texted her to ask and that she hadnāt responded yet. Then the next day, he said he had called her in the morning to ask, but she hung up and said she was busy. He then called in the afternoon but didnāt get an answer. The morning call wasnāt even in his call log, though. I feel like he knew Gracie would be there and didnāt want to ask, or maybe he did ask but didnāt tell me because he wanted to go to the party and knew I wouldnāt let him if she were there.
He ended up going to a different girlās house than the one whose birthday it was (the girl he had called to ask if Gracie was going). The girl whose house he went to is named Nicole, whoās best friends with Gracie, and he knew that. Nicole was hosting the birthday party for the girl friend. He told me he had no clue it was going to be at Nicoleās house. He said he saw Gracie briefly, but that she was in Nicoleās room all night. I saw some pictures where she was out in the living room. There was even one picture of her lying down with the girl whose birthday it was (my boyfriendās friend), and my boyfriendās jacket was hanging on a chair right next to her. He said he had just left it in the living room. He never took pictures showing all of his surroundings, but maybe he didnāt want people to see he was taking pictures, idk. Iām scared he actually was around her, though, but he swore he wasnāt.
Anyway, I kept stalking her Instagram after that. Last week, she posted pictures of herself to āBeetlesā by Aphex Twin. I saw that same song on my boyfriendās Airbuds seven hours later. He had never listened to that song before, so it was weird that the same day she posted herself to it, he happened to listen to it. He said he saw it in an edit on TikTok. He went through his watch history but couldnāt find the video, so then he said it mightāve been on YouTube or Instagram, but he couldnāt remember.
That song isnāt popular at all, though, and only has around 100 videos on TikTok and Instagram. I couldnāt even find a video with that song on YouTube. He told me it was an original sound, so it wouldnāt be under the sound on Instagram or TikTok. Idk, itās just so weird to me.
He also switched between calling her Grace and Gracie. He told me āGraceā was just a typo until he said āGraceā on a call and I questioned him. Then he said Grace is her real name and that he doesnāt call her that on purpose.
I also asked him one time if she has lip filler because she has amazing lips and I was jealous. He said, āNo, she just pouts a lot.ā I asked how he knew that, and he said thatās what he remembered from two years ago (the last time they were friends).
I also found her Spotify and stalked it, which I know I shouldnāt have, but they both listen to some not-so-popular artists. She had a lot of Steely Dan songs on her playlists, and she also had the Twin Peaks theme song and a whole Twin Peaks playlist. My boyfriend had a Steely Dan song on one of his playlists along with the Twin Peaks theme song. Iāve felt so sick for the past few days because of their similarities in music.
A lot of this stuff is just what-ifs or theories. I think the only thing that is actually fishy is the whole āBeetlesā thing. My boyfriend has offered to give me all of his socials, and heās sent me some of his messages, but he could obviously just delete things. I always decline the socials because that feels toxic to me.
He always tells me he would never cheat on me because he knows how horrible it is and that he could never do that to me. He also always says he doesnāt have a car, doesnāt have a job, and is always at home, so how would he cheatāwhich is weird to me, idk.
Weāre long distance, by the way. We were in person for about six months and then long distance. Iām 19 and he is 20, and heās planning on moving here next month. I donāt know what to do, but I feel so sick.
He also wonāt give me reassurance anymore. He said heās been doing research on ROCD and that reassurance is bad. He never cared before, so I thought it was weird that he cares now, but he said itās because every time he gives reassurance, itās not enough for me.
He also started following and listening to a new artist maybe a week ago, and he added one of her songs to his playlist. Gracie just made a playlist yesterday and added the same song. The singer isnāt very popularāher name is Cece Natalieāand the song has 1,020,106 listens and around 800 uses on TikTok, so itās not popular. He cried to me a few weeks ago saying heās so tired of me bringing her up and being insecure over her because sheās so irrelevant and he doesnāt understand why I am like this. He sounded just really exhausted and sincere so I think this is all in my head but itās so hard to tell sometimes.
