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So I know it’s normal to compliment someone, right? Yes. Anyways, I was going out to eat with my family, and I saw a guy, I really didn’t think much of it, but my mind said “that’s a hot person” and I was like “yea he is” but not in a gay way (because it’s nice to compliment someone) and now because I have OS-OCD, I can’t stop thinking about it. Like, am I gay for that? And I’m freaking out, because I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m scared, guys. PLEASE HELP, is this normal?!?! IM SCARED!!!

Im 22, i saw a video of a girl on social media who’s a few years younger than me and got unwanted intrusive thoughts and feelings about her being attractive. It felt so real, does this mean im a predator or a p********? Im so scared and feel so sick, i dont know what to do.

I have really bad anxiety and feel like a failure. I’m doing tafe but I feel so overwhelmed like I don’t know why. Like I know what I’m doing but I always compare myself to people. I feel like a constant failure like I ruin everything and I get really bad obsessive thoughts. I feel so drained I’m depressed and all I wanna do is sleep and for everything to stop I hate my life:(

Does anyone else feel like although they are diagnosed with OCD they feel like they don’t have OCD. Like when they hear others talking about their ocd symptoms they feel like theirs don’t fit the category? Also the word ego dystonic triggers me because sometimes my ocd makes me feel like my harm thoughts are not ego dystonic to my nature and it makes me feel sick. Also my harm ocd makes me Feel like i want the thoughts and sometimes it can feel very real! Also sometimes when the anxiety is as prominent with the thoughts I get worried because I feel like that might be confirmation that I like them. Does anyone else feel this way?

Quick question... does anyone know if ERP can help with fear of dying or someone close to you dying? The thoughts consume me from the time I wake up until I sleep. I've always considered myself a woman of faith. Then I think to myself "If My Faith Was Strong, I Wouldn't Even Worry"... and then I start thinking that God is disappointed with me. I've had extreme panic attacks since I was young. It's controlled by rescue med. I've been on antidepressants. I know when I'm on the right one, the need for rescue med decreases. Am I alone in this fear? Does ERP help?

Does anyone else suffer from Borderline personality disorder as well? How do you go about treating ocd and bpd? Please help I just need help. Do I have to have 2 different therapist? They are so expensive too

I find quite often I will imagine future conversations with my partner - often these conversations are in relation to something bad, e.g. imagining my responses to her breaking up with me. In this case, I think I see that's some form of rumination; I'm trying to control the fear and uncertainty that I might get broken up with by imagining it to control it. But I also spend time imagining good scenarios and imagining our conversations and what I would say in them. Is this still rumination? Something else? It's trickier to be aware of it, in a way, because it feels like a positive thing. And yet I can still waste hours of time doing it.

If your thoughts feel real, this video is very helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whcpkyABuU4

Hi guys! If you're anything like me, your OCD terrifies you because you believe that you WANT to do these awful things. You might even think that you HAVE done awful things, and maybe you have a behavioural control disorder rather than OCD. If you are experiencing this, THESE ARE OCD SYMPTOMS, and these videos explain it really well! Urges: at my lowest point, I thought I had an impulse control disorder rather than OCD because I believed I was actually DOING things rather than just worrying about them. URGES ARE OCD too! This video explains this very well at 7:09, but the entire video is helpful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FTHSSpHLF4 Feeling like the intrusive thoughts are TRUE / like you WANT TO DO SOMETHING BAD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whcpkyABuU4&t=40s I hope these help!

I get aroused by hocd

So I recently think I have developed a new OCD. It’s called Tokophobia, which is the fear of getting pregnant. Right now I’m having symptoms of what I thought to believe is a UTI (TMI I’m sorry) but my mind is telling me their symptoms of pregnancy and it causes great fear and anxiety for me to the point where I do not know how to function. The people in my life think I’m being ridiculous because I am trying to be safe but I’m always afraid of that 10%. Are there any other ladies that have the same OCD or understand maybe where I’m coming from?

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for all the amazing OCD activists and therapists who directed me to this app, thank you to all the wonderful kind souls who took time out of their days to reply to me and help me through what used to be a mess. I feel so free, and while I do have wobbly moments, I have such a better understanding of this now, largely thanks to you guys, and I'm able to finally live again. Thank you so much. If anyone has any questions on how I managed to get to a better place, please let me know. I'm still not perfect but I'm in a place where I can move on with my day again. Thanks everyone :)

Compulsion or not? Sometimes when I'm with the boy that I'm seeing, I feel a lot anxious and stressed, because of rocd. The fastest way to get rid of that feeling is crying for a little. But is that a compulsion? If I cry for like 5 minutes than I will have fun for the rest of the date again, if not I will stay always stressed!

Any ROCD stories or experiences anybody wants to share? I suffer from it and I enjoy hearing stories from other people. No judgement here whatsoever!!! cause I love relating with everyone!!!!

I think I’m having a mental down. Life doesn’t feel real nor does it consequences. I keep laughing at inappropriate things and have sudden cry outbursts. I making medication for my patients and I’m keep messing up. Literally nothing feels real. I just realized that that my pants are inside out. I’m laughing on the outside but screaming in the inside. I need help and I need to go home... But yet I keep laughing. Btw I’m not thinking about doing an form of self harm or anything to my self or others I’m just trying to figure out what I’m going through

I've read where change, adjustment is hard for those with OCD. Boy, is it!! I lived at my daughter's apt for 3 months and now back at home which is a good thing other than difficulties with my husband. I'm glad to be home but I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't think. Any suggestions other than give myself grace?

I feel like I’m better but I’m not? Feels like I can do my normal activities and act like I’m okay but I have this horrible feeling and thought in the back of my head that I’m gay. Ugh

Anyone have information on support groups. I want to join one!

I can't recognise where are my real feeling and where is ocd

Bah! Starting off the first day of the regular curricula by not going to bed till after 5:30am! I don’t even know if I got (really) stuck on those lessons plans. I didn’t even get to prep all the materials I was supposed to. I have just as much lesson planning I’ll need to do tonight. I still have to enter tons of data. I still have more trainings past due. And that’s not even the end of my work tasks. Plus there’s new “solos” I need to learn for band, posters and posts to be made, general life stuff like showering once in a blue moon…. I’m just so mad for not sleeping. I told myself I wouldn’t do this and only a week or so in and poof. 🤦🏼‍♀️😭

I just tried to explain my SOOCD to my sister and I felt so illogical and confused trying to explain it because when you say it out loud it sounds so illogical and like denial and I just feel so misunderstood. Has anyone felt this?

Does anyone know about disability for OCD? How it works/ what the process is? I feel like my OCD is destroying my life but I feel like no one thinks it’s “that bad” and I’m just not trying hard enough.

I just uploaded another OCD song on YouTube. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pwytuaioM6k&feature=youtu.be

You are not the villain, ocd is. You are also not the damsel in distress. You are your own hero, you are capable of your own rescue. I believe in you.

I told my girlfriend in depth about my ROCD today and initially I felt relief but now all the doubts are creeping back in. She's long distance and I worry I timed telling her wrong, just before she left. I worry that telling her was just me confessing and has actually fed into the ROCD. And I'm scared that telling her all my worries has massively undermined the relationship and any faith she might have had in it. We were having a really nice weekend and I think maybe this has ruined everything. I feel very lost with where to go from here and how to accept the feelings or work through them. I don't feel like I have any intuition for anything any more, I'm doubting myself at every turn. Does anyone have any tips or exercises moving forward? Both for me personally and possibly for us as a couple. Also, if anyone has any tips for being able to distinguish real relationship worries versus OCD.

It feels like I want it, it feels like it would make me feel good! It’s just all I think about every second of every day. Surely that’s not normal? I never used to constantly think about being heterosexual, it was just who I was period!

Does anyone else only get groinal responses to the thoughts they don’t want and feel disgusted / dont get groinals at the thoughts they want to want??

Can groinal response be like ur are aroused

i feel so defeated and depressed i just wanna feel good i don’t want this anxiety i don’t want to be an overthinker i just want a normal life

OCD is weird when you start to feel better it makes you question everything. Like when you try to act like yourself again it makes you feel weird and that your faking cause the way your acting is not yourself. When you do something you like like acts of kindness is makes you feel like sick because ocd makes you feel like this is not you because it makes us think for example that we are bad people because of our harm ocd so therefore acts of kindness don’t feel like our nature. Idk does anyone else feel like this?

How much does therapy cost here?

I fear that I’ll have an ocd episode during my vacation

Is it normal for intrusive thoughts to feel more real as you manage them more? I've been doing less compuslions lately and today my OCD has been in full force and the thoughts are even more convincing than usual to the point where I think they could be real. Is this just OCD trying to take over again?

Anyone here with real event ocd That has got better?

I really feel non-binary ain't no way this is OCD this is me discovering myself and being in denial

i don’t how to just “let the thoughts and feelings be” without trying to solve it or distract myself. does anyone have any tips to not give into mental compulsions (mental reviewing certain times in my life, event, situations and ruminating) ?

I really feel like i like not having a gender and being non-binary all because of my new haircut and the fact that I don't like my hair being too tall especially that it's curly and length weights it down :( I really feel like I like being non-binary, like REALLY. I don't think this is OCD I don't even think I have OCD I just think I am slowly discovering myself and accepting it but am still in denial because I feel no anxiety

Words of strength and unity 💙💪 PLEASE READ IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING Rn I’m going through false memory OCD, POCD, real event OCD and Pure O. This is probably the hardest thing I’m ever going to have to get through in life and I know many of you feel the same. It feels like there is no way out and that the light at the end of the tunnel is a dim one. For me, I feel like I should just give up my life and not do anything with it cuz it feels like what’s the point. I feel like I should cut contact with friends and family cuz of who my ocd is telling me I am and what I deserve… BUT I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT… I have hope in the ERP therapy and right from that first appointment I’m just going to put my ABSOLUTE ALL into the recovery, trust in the process with EVERYTHING I have and I really hope everyone will join me in that, so that we can become an example for those in the future who feel as lost as we do right now. We are not going to lose this fight! OCD does NOT deserve that victory, don’t give it that victory. Reading all the stuff on this platform makes me feel not alone, it’s you guys and the awesome superhero professionals that give ME hope right now. So let’s defeat this stupid disorder together! Be strong and know that whatever you’re situation is… YOU ARE FAR FROM ALONE💙

You are all like a community to me. I downloaded this app a couple days ago and found it after watching a youtube video from NOCD I think? I was curious and downloaded it. I was surprised that what people deal with i’ve dealt with a lot before or are dealing with it i’m glad I can support and help y’all with your struggles. With whatever battle that may seem like the worst one it will pass and you’ll be fine. Things will be alright. I give ya a tight hug

I hate Real Event, POCD, and False memory. While I’ve struggled a lot with other themes like contamination, existential, and perfectionism. I genuinely wish I was back to those, because while they were scary and still made me give into compulsions and just give I got eh anxiety, at least they never had me question my morals and if I was this monster and terrible human being who should either k*ll themselves, turn themselves in for something they’re not really sure they did or if it was as bad as I remember, or isolate myself from the world and live a life of solitude and misery. I’m constantly questioning my intentions, memories, and who I am as a person. It started off with two things that I deeply regret and was ashamed of, but now it’s turned into a gigantic mass of bad decisions I’ve made in life and making me wonder if there’s more to it, if I’m not remembering something absolutely horrendous. I don’t even know if this is OCD or not anymore. I hate that reassurance doesn’t work, I hate not being able to function in life and do the things I need to do. I’m tired of being a burden, I have people who tell me to relax and I’m terrified constantly, I don’t deserve the love they give me, I hate it. I genuinely wish I’d never existed.

I used to say my ex best friend was my soulmate as a joke but it’s true that I haven’t had a friend I’ve been that close to again so I’m scared I liked her because this is how a lot of women felt when they realized they had crushes. But I hate the idea of kissing her or doing stuff with her or developing a romantic connection, it seems fine but there’s no longing something just doesn’t feel right about it. Sometimes I wish I could disappear (not in a worrisome way, just to not have to think anymore) and not exist, this is too painful and uncomfortable.

Does this make you guys feel like you don’t know anything about yourself ??? SOOCD specifically. I feel like I know nothing about who I am and what I like anymore.

So before I didn’t know what OSOCD was, I wanted to see if I was gay. So I decided to look at pictures online of men. At first, I didn’t get attracted by that, which is good because I’m straight. However, now I’m thinking about that time, and I’m thinking about the photos of the men, and every time I think about it, I always check on my groin area to see if I’m attracted and to my surprise, I didn’t get an erection, but I’m just afraid that my mind will like these intrusive thoughts, and I’m shaking and scared, because I don’t want to be gay if I like it, and I don’t know what to do to forget it!!! 😥😥😥

I love my girlfriend but with all the HOCD thoughts and the feelings of wanting it and all the evidence and emotions it brings. It feels like I need to leave. And it doesn’t even feel like a compulsion anymore

Just saw a video about someone when they were in the closet and they mention how they used to search ‘am I gay quiz’ and that’s something I remember doing and now my anxiety is up high. I just want to be with my boyfriend but I’m scared I can’t be because I’m secretly in denial. It’s hard when there feels like there’s so many signs but it’s just not what I want at all. I don’t want to be with women but maybe deep down I secretly do and just can’t accept it. Arghhhhhh.

i struggle with ROCD and SOOCD, and they’ve ALWAYS worked together so closely, ya know just to really mess with my head and my emotions 🥴 they’re working together so intensely right now and it’s completely scaring me. i feel like there’s absolutely no way i can’t be gay and i feel like i absolutely have to break up with my bf. this is all completely tearing me apart and making me feel so unlike myself. i want to tell my bf, but i know that would be a compulsion. i’m just struggling so much right now and feel like i’ll never get out of this way of thinking/feeling. any kind words would be appreciated. p.s. i’m also going to have a zoom call today with a psychiatrist to see if medication would be a good option, but i feel like i’m lying to myself about this all being OCD and that all i’m trying to do is essentially “pray the gay away” and i can’t get that out of my head either. it’s been such a rough week and idk how to come back from it.

Can someone help me with this particular trigger? I have ROCD and when things get « boring » like watching a movie or a tv show all day or not doing anything exciting I begin to think that my relationship is boring and that I don’t love her. What ERP scenario or exercice could I do with this one ?

Okay so i have a lot to say and i know if even one of you reads this i wont feel alone… pls read if you can i would be grateful 1. So i have soocd and I don’t know if I believe it. Somedays i am good don’t feel like i have it at all and then there are days when i am miserable. 2. While i was with a friend recently she said in a very joking way that you have never really had a bf just accept it you’re a lesbian and that put me in a spot i smiles and took it as a joke but it got me thinking she could be right I haven’t liked a guy in so long what could that mean?!? I didn’t have a problem with her saying it and I don’t know what to think of it but with every thought after that i have gone back to this and thought what if this was right… 3. So people i see on the internet getting to know what they really were later in life what if that happens with me?!! What if I actually get whatever realisation it is later what would i do then and if i am thinking of this possibility then there might be some truth in it?!? For me to even think of it in the first place.. 4. I read a comment on this platform that with soocd you just never think of coming out and I didn’t too but then i had this anxiety strike when i felt like i was going to tell my mom or my friends about it but i felt like why would i ?!? Would i be lying if i do?!? What if i am not?!? It felt too real and is that some sign cause that’s opposite of what one with soocd would do… 5. A question which constantly is there is just cause we haven’t been put in a situation like that we don’t know it what if we are and we like it and then what?!? All of this would mean a lie… 6. Friends who are straight and have kissed the same sex feel no anxiety nothing are okay with it what if our anxiety with these thoughts means they actually are true cause why else would we be so bothered with them what could be the reason it could be true but just us being scared because people without this are easy going and which just like in a way proves that we are scared and that’s why we are so bothered…. 7. My past same sex childhood experiences haven’t been a help either what if i was always a bi and now just transforming into a like completely liking the same sex and why was that easy for me to write… what if i never liked guys and all that was fake… what am i supposed to do 8. Sometimes i feel i fake all of it like i saw a girl with a septum piercing and short hair and i was like looking at her and staring and idk if it was my soocd telling me she’s cute would be my type?!? But why would i even think that in the first place…. And then it was like i wanted it to be fake so i just kept reminding myself of thinking about it forcefully so its like soocd and not denial and why would i do that why did that feel so real and so fake at the same time.. its so messed up.. 9. A video on reel o saw of this girl in an all girls school and her parents sent her to stay away from boys but jokes on then cause she is not straight and i was like what if i was put in that position and there are people with soocd who think we never do that but then why do i think i would and would i be okay with it or is it my soocd making me feel so but it should make me feel the opposite.. like i should try to run away from it… 10. And like i said why would i keep noticing when it should be trigger and i should avoid it or switch it off like I don’t understand what am I supposed to to…even when i pray that i am over all of this i feel its always so fake do i even want it to be will I accept this in the near future what do i do… Lastly i just don’t know what to do or where to go from here i always feel like i am faking this and using soocd as a mode of escapism. Sometimes i think I don’t have it altogether cause the feeling of all these feelings being are so real and denial I don’t know what to trust..I don’t know if you guys will relate to me but if you do ig you’re not alone…

I need motivation to start ERP. Just leave some great benefits of ERP and why I should do it :)

How tf did I never do ERP for my ocd and my ocd is like low-nonexistent I went from losing friendships cause of my Hocd and avoiding songs with female voices to being able to joke about being gay and even when I get thoughts of “oh your friend is looking really pretty do you like her?” It doesn’t faze me anymore I used to falling in a loop trueing to reassure myself but I can move forward with the day. They say ocd can’t go away but it has I don’t have ocd anymore or it’s really low to the point I can just acknowledge my ocd and move on? What magic pill is this shit I wish I can donate this to y’all

You won’t always feel like this- even if it feels like you always will.

Whoever is out there suffering from Rocd. I just want you to know that it does get better. After 3 months of severe intrusive thoughts and feeling on edge. I can finally say that things are looking better. I hope the same can be said for you too. ❤️

Does anyone have ocd about what the vaccine could have done to their body? This isn’t an anti vax vs vax post. It’s more about the hypochondria ocd of constantly worrying about your body/health. I even wonder if the vaccine is changing chemicals in my brain. I obsess about it. Now after having it, I obsess about wondering if any health issue is related. I was damned if I do damned if I don’t during this pandemic as a hypochondriac and I felt so judged by everyone on both sides of the issue. Anyone else like this? Health ocd is no joke. I got the vaccine out of pressure from family but I knew it would swing me into an OCD spell. It sure enough did. They don’t understand because they don’t have OCD. They just feel good about getting vaccinated. I truly wish I could too 😞. Any encouragement would be appreciated!

Idk who is suffering tonight, but please know you’ll get through this anxious episode. Like you did the time before this one. And the time before that one and so on. The last few days I have been an anxious wreck but this too shall pass. It will for you too. Hold on.

You are strong, you WILL get through this. I don’t know who needs to see this but you will be okay

woke up w heart palpitations today and got some chest pain during the day. my brain aimed straight towards the idea that it was a heart attack (im 15 and perfectly healthy, so that shouldnt happen i think?) i also happened to get a cheap tarot reading today saying i'll die soon so uh yeah that doesnt help much ! my heart is still POUNDING but its been like an hour and a half so i think (and hope) it's just anxiety and my ocd being annoying i dont know if heart attack ocd is a real thing (maybe its connected to health ocd? because i suffer from that one) but uh yeah it wasnt cool, my brain wont leave me alone now

Is wanting to purposefully hurt yourself to get out the stress or guilt of doing something incorrectly something anybody else experiences? I would think harm ocd but isn't that just the fear of doing it to other people? So maybe it's my real event. But I don't want to hurt myself, I feel like I have to or problems do not get resolved and I'm in the wrong, no matter how minor it is. I even relapsed with these thoughts because I left food out overnight and my boyfriend got understandably mad. I've seriously been struggling going without traditionial self harm these past few months and it feels like something is missing, and if I do feel some kind of pain it will "go away". It's starting to feel like a ritual but I don't know what it would be. The thought of using a belt to whip myself is getting a lot more intense by the day but I know if I act on it my boyfriend will be able to tell, I'm assuming it would leave marks. I've always been this way before, very submissive in personality and feeling like I need to be punished, even prior to the abusive relationship I was in years ago. Is this actually ocd too or an excuse for my previous addiction to self harm??

why don't i feel anxious at all? like yeah thoughts whatever? like i literally feel like a lesbian incapable of liking guys, and my so-called crush is just comphet and me looking for attention, i don't even want a relationship with him i can't see myself in one neither can i see myself having s3x with a man. how is this ocd?? i barely obsess anymore, barely do compulsions, have 0 anxiety...this is just me questioning and slowly realising i am a lesbian in denial atp. no anxiety but no attraction to guys :( please anyone just say anything. how is this ocd when it'sso barely present and not distressing at all? even this is not a distress post.

Seeing other feminine women deciding to be a man or a masculine women on tik tok is triggering me. I feel like I’m turning in one of them I fucking hate it

has anyone taken propranolol for their anxiety/OCD? i'm thinking of taking my tablets again whenever my thoughts are too bad, but i'm scared. i took it for a few days but i was too scared to sleep because it gave me nightmares

Hi! How are you dealing with obsessive thoughts sounding like truth, when you have to be focused on something else?

Whenever I’m out having fun my mind always makes me remember my ocd and basically says I’m still here and you can’t get rid of me and o feel like a fraud and evil and sad that o can’t just have fun for once in my life

What do you guys do to fall asleep at night? Like I really struggle to sleep at night, with my intrusive thoughts, real event, pocd, false memory, it’s all too much at night. It’s really sad because I know a 19 year old shouldn’t, but my moms been sleeping on my bed with for a while now, it started last year when my brother died but as my OCD got worse, she’s always been there for me. It’s just really hard to fall asleep without someone with me, I really hate that because want to be able to sleep by myself like before, but the thoughts keep flooding in. It’s really scary. So I would love to see what maybe you guys do, if you have any suggestions?

I feel like I really can’t share my thoughts with my therapist, including real events (evil/twisted things I’ve done). It’s really not helpful to hear (“you can tell your therapist anything” or “it doesn’t do any good to keep things from them” or “they only want to help you”) because I honestly feel like I can’t in the moment and they’re too evil. Like when I’m in session I can’t even get a word out without screaming and/or shutting down. But I know these things have a major grip on me and I need to say something.Any tips?? I feel like I’m wasting my time and my therapists time and resources but I’m really, really trying

Vent: I wish SOOCD was better understood. Even on this app. It feels horrible when people invalidate the thoughts or question them. “There’s nothing to be scared of” “there’s nothing wrong with being ______” Of course there’s nothing scary or wrong about loving who you love. BUT Feeling like losing a part of your identity is scary. Possible judgement is scary. Losing a partner is scary. We have core fears that honestly have nothing to do with sexuality, it’s just what our OCD chose to fixate on. It’s so exhausting explaining it and having people give unsolicited comments and “advice” regarding this theme when they don’t understand.

Hi everyone. Just wanted to hop on here to let you know that recovery is possible. At my lowest I really did not believe that, But it really is possible. I’ve struggled with ROCD obsessive thoughts for almost 4 months now. Rumination, googling, & reassurance kept me in the continuous loop. I thought by pushing the thoughts & fears away it would help but it only made it so much worse and the thoughts were CONSTANT. I cried everyday, lost 20 pounds, started failing exams in school, nauseous 24/7, could not sleep for the life of me. Constantly in an anxious fear state. I felt detached from my own body and could t feel anything. I was scared that I was going to lose my boyfriend because of my ROCD. I’m living proof that it does get better and you are strong enough to overcome OCD. Please feel free to reach out if you need any advice or support. I still have a long way to go but I’m definitely in a better place than I was !! We are not our thoughts !!!!

Hi everyone, Lately I've been doing some personal work outside of the realm of OCD, but I just would like to discuss a few things I've learned in my journey in case it helps others. Abuse and trauma can have a longstanding relationship to your OCD, even in ways you didn't realize. Our themes can sometimes be related to those traumas. I know that sounds super basic, but it's actually hard to tell if you're the one living through the trauma. Just a friendly reminder to help those who are struggling. You're not alone!

Why does harm ocd make you feel like you actually want to do bad things even thought you don’t? Especially when the anxiety is not their. Even though I’m diagnosed with ocd it makes me doubt if I ever have ocd. Any tips for sitting with the uncertainty especially with themes this horrible like harm ocd?

Anyone here struggle with OCD with things on social media? Like obsessing over things you observe such as certain online behaviors of others? If you feel comfortable sharing 🙏🏼

I have been on crisis mode for the past few days. Please share opinion if you can. I really need help on this. So as you are probably aware if you’ve seen my last posts, I was scared to touch my mom’s doorknob bc she is sick coughing and sneezing. I did an erp where I touched her room knobs and my room knobs and then rubbed it all over my covers and laid under them breathing in all the germs that I rubbed there. My biggest fear is spreading covid germs and being the reason that people die from it. I couldn’t take the guilt of doing the erp and the next day I asked my mom to do it thinking I can live with what I’ve done if my mom does it without feeling guilty. Instantly regretted it bc I made her use the main enterance doorknob. Which in my opinion is most contaminated of them all. So anyway, she did it and I felt twice as guilty to the point where I felt I needed to die. But my pastor talked me down. However, the next day I remembered that the day my mom did the exposure, she had to go into work using taxi and I had followed her because I had a hair appointment near her job. I had a funny feeling behind my nose as if I was coming down with a cold. But I still went. This is the part that I cannot get over. My biggest fear is killing people with covid and yet why did I go with my mom if I believed the risk of spreading the germs from the doorknobs would be doubled? I got tested for covid the next morning and thankfully I don’t have it. But why did I go to the city with my mom that day without being sure of anything?? Whether or not breathing germs from doorknob together will spread germs or whether or not my mom and I have covid? To be fair, my ocd has always made it seem like we are immune from covid and I can only give it to others outside my family. But why do I feel like I wasn’t thinking that way that day? And even if I was, what about the part where I believed my mom and I breathing in door knob germs could spread covid? And to make things worse, my boyfriend said he has a sore throat but I still went to see him that same day. Did I know in the back of my mind that it is just a regular cold? Or did I not care that whole night if I spread covid or not. I’m thinking that since (whether rational or not) I thought breathing the germs from the knobs and being with my mom increased the chance of spreading covid from the germs that got on us and in our lungs from the erp, I feel like I ignored that thought and went on the taxi anyway. My question is, why did I become so irresponsible and bad? I cannot forgive myself for this. It’s driving me insane and I’m once again feeling like dieing over it. No joke I am really questioning if I can continue my life. Completely depressed and sobbing. What is wrong with me. Did I snap? I wasn’t sure about anything and yet I did something so irresponsible. Twice! Going with my mom in taxi to manhattan and going on an uber to long island city to see my sick boyfriend. I can’t forgive myself. What do I do? I made my boyfriend also get a covid test. I did rapid and also a pcr. The negative result for some reason doesn’t even matter to me. Why am I so irresponsible all of a sudden? Why am I a bad person all of a sudden. And can I ever forgive myself?

I love this excerpt: “There is a lot of evidence to suggest that being able and willing to tolerate anxiety, as opposed to eliminating anxiety, actually results in more durable and long-term recovery. In other words, it is your inability to tolerate your unwanted intrusive thoughts that keeps them going. That inability keeps your brain using the old, fear-provoking pathways and prevents new ones from being created”.

Anyone have any tips on handling overstimulation? Since I’ve been on meds it doesn’t happen as often but sometimes by the end of a day I’m overstimulated to the point or wanting to cry or scream but am not yet in a position where I can escape the stimulations. What do you do to function while overstimulated? Any advice appreciated

My obsession and intrusive thought is around not being able to sleep. I have so much anxiety about this that it of course prevents me from sleeping because I’m hyper aware, hyper focused and so pressured. I have no idea what to do to prefect this.. a therapist here said erp didn’t apply. I’m desperate and hopeless right now.

here is your daily reminder that crazy people don't care/worry about being crazy. similarly, true monsters don't worry about being monsters

This is for someone; you can climb out of the ocd pit little by little by facing your fears until one day they don’t seem as scary. I beie r you can have a normal life and a good life where you don’t have to hide and avoid situations but the more you practice engaging in situations you avoid the more free you feel

Is it normal for OCD to find another thing to latch on to once you've begun making progress which puts you back to square 1? I have contamination OCD that I was JUST begining to get over, and a new thought came into my head that felt real (I've been good at dismissing most of them until now) and I feel awful now because I think if I don't wash my hands I'm proving that thought right. But isn't this how OCD works? As far as I've read, it's just trying to get my attention because I've tackled the other thoughts.

I’m having the hardest time finding a therapist. I see an OCD specialist through NOCD which is great, but I really need a therapist for my other problems. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression with a counselor and through this app (which I don’t think is wrong I very clearly have the symptoms for both) but idk. I feel like there’s a lot to uncover regarding my general mental health as well as trauma. There might be some things missing and things I don’t understand about my mental health yet. I would like to have a therapist I can afford to help with that. I had a trauma therapist I saw online who I adored but I can no longer afford her services. I’ve been trying to find therapy where I am in college, but options are limited when you are a broke college student with no car. I do have insurance but not many places take my insurance :/

as most of you probably know the more that you fight your OCD and your intrusive thoughts the more it will all stick around and appear more and more. as someone that struggles with intrusive thought OCD i know how absolutely hard it is to not fight against it, because i have convinced myself that not fighting against it means i want these thoughts, that i like them and that they truly reflect who i am, but that is not the case. by not fighting these thoughts, i am thanking my brain for highlighting the possible "danger", for risk assessing my surroundings, for all the gruesome images in my head, and accepting that it is just trying to help me, it's just trying to deal with something, whether it be trauma or something else. acceptance is the absolute key, and it is so excruciating letting your brain do whatever it wants to, but the truth is, remember if you don't let your brain do whatever it wants, it will anyways. it's just the way it works, you can't control your thoughts, and that isn't your fault, and most importantly it isn't your responsibility. sit with the thought, the anxiety, the disgust, and eventually it will pass, i know it's easier said than done but i promise it is worth it.

Are there no more support groups!? Where’d they go?

I'm terrified of life Terrified of a variety of choices Terrified of deviating from the norm Terrified of my thoughts Terrified of my feelings Terrified of hurting people Terrified of doing the wrong thing I'm exhausted

Fear scripts, listening on a loop, has really helped me recently. My therapist had me describe my fear in great detail as if it happened, what did I think/feel, hear, see, what did I say, how did the person in my scenario reply… and had me tell it from beginning to end. When I told her the story I was getting so choked up with tears, the words hurt so badly to vocalize. Since I was exhausted, she recorded the story into my phone and read it with feeling. She gave me her written notes, suggested adding to it and record myself telling the story stressing to read it with feeling especially the dialogue. I did. She said to listen to it 30 minutes to hour every day and at least 10 minutes when I’m triggered. It made me sick to my stomach for 3 days, triggering other what ifs the whole time, I was just so, so tired of it, rrrrh! Then on that third night I woke up ruminating for two hours and I remembered what she said about listening to it when triggered but dangit I just didn’t want to listen! Finally I got up, put my headphones on, by the fourth round I was knocked out asleep. It calmed me! For some reason the recording was similar enough to the ruminating that it kinda replaced it and was oddly calming. Very important- at the very end of the recording my therapist and I say “even if all of this happens, I’ll find a way to cope”. It’s empowering and true. We are all survivors!

I keep doubting I have ocd because my obsessions are really unique . Like I read about ocd online and my thought and compulsions are much different so I figure maybe it's not ocd .

Has anyone gone on a date with the gender that SO OCD makes them believe they are attracted to before? I have been struggling for some time on and off and consider doing this to try and demonstrate self acceptance to myself if that makes sense? I dont know if it would be a compulsion, I have used dating apps obsessively before but i feel very little from just photos on a screen.

my real event OCD has become so debilitating. the worst part is I really believe what I did was so irredeemable and it’s not just my OCD twisting it. it was truly bad and I don’t know how to move forward from it. I am trying so hard to move on but compulsions and the temporary relief they bring are consuming me. I have my first free call tomorrow and I’m nervous to say anything because I’m afraid my event and past actions are truly terrible and I don’t deserve to be redeemed. There are some things that people just can’t come back from and I feel like what I did is one of them. I don’t know what to do. hoping I can get treatment soon and feel like I deserve to live again.

Hey guys ! Do you think that OCD sufferers are often high intelligent or is this a myth?

to all my people battling OCD, without giving you any sort of reassurance, i just want you to know that despite not knowing a single one of you personally, i truly believe that you are the strongest people out there. having your head wrongly tell you about the sort of person you are and continuously convincing you of all the horrible things you may obsess over is so so hard, you are doing amazing, you are doing the absolute best you can and i could not be more proud. you are not alone, you are not a monster, you are not your OCD or your thoughts <3

Tw:alcohol After drinking and getting intrusive thoughts and memories about my past..I always wake up and feel so much guilt and shame.

Everyday I just feel more and more gay. I sit there with my girlfriend and feel like a fraud. Every time I check my reactions to situations I don’t get the answer I want. I’m not anxious or depressed I’m just numb. Everyone on here talking about how awful they feel makes me feel like fraud. I used to feel like everyone single person on here but now It’s like I almost just don’t care. Feels as if I’ve been in denial my whole life now. And the worst thing is sometimes it feels like my life would be better if I just gave in and let the thoughts be true. I’m now convinced I’ve never been attracted to women, even though I’m sure I have. Sometimes I just wish I could just be bi because that way I don’t have to leave my gf but that seems impossible now too. Life just feels hollow. And my whole life up until now just feels like One big lie.

How does OCD cause trauma. Every time I talk about my ocd and depression and often get emotional about it it almost feels like that’s not real. Like it feels like I can’t fully accept and comprehend that I have ocd and depression cause I so badly don’t what to accept it and make it a reality. Like sometimes I don’t believe like this is me now and sometimes my ocd makes me feel guilty because it tells me that I’m a fraud and faking my emotions and mental illness. Is so confusing cause I don’t feel like myself but not like depersonalized instead like don’t know who I am even though my therapist said that the essence of me is still there even if it doesn’t feel like it. Is this trauma, the feeling that you can’t believe you have ocd and the idea that this is all like a bad dream and I’ll wake up soon?

I literally get panic attacks cause I don’t understand how i went from who o used to be to this empty shell. It’s like thinking about eternity it just gives you this wierd feeling and no matter how hard you think about it you can never understand it. I just don’t understand. It’s like the me from 2 yrs ago is a completely different person

My brain keeps thinking if i cant feel anything im not in love but i wanna love him. My gut tells me to stay and so does my heart. So why does my brain keep trying to make theories. Help?..

i’m genuinely just sad, this connection might never be okay again or how it used to be and that breaks my heart

i just feel so worthless and i have no motivation to do anything i’ve lost all hope in recovery and i’m so scared it will never go away and get better. i feel like i’m cursed and i’m being punished with this torture disorder and idk what i did to deserve this. i’m so stressed and so annoyed. i feel so lost and helpless

I feel so far from God.. I don’t know how to get back OCD ruined everything

God, why does It feels like I want these thoughts?

I watched an episode with my mom about harm ocd (it’s on a med show). She didn’t have the reaction I was hoping for. She saw the guy as a threat, and had a bad reaction when she heard his thoughts. Which hurt, cause I’ve had those thoughts and have been bed ridden due to them. It has definitely triggered me a lot and apart of me now wants to run and admit myself somewhere because I have this underlying fear of what if I’m dangerous? I don’t want to be. I don’t want any of this, yet at times ocd can cause me to doubt so much

I had such a bad day because of OCD it's been about 2 years since I have been living with this But i still end up crying even though it's so much better than I was before Knowing that i am not alone in this awful ride helps me alot sometimes I hope we all get to live our best lives without this irrational fears and disgusting thoughts :) Even though its hard let's not give up on wanting to live a happy and healthy life

I don’t want to be gay, but I feel like I am, I just want to feel straight and be straight but I feel like I’m gay and fighting it, and I don’t even know if this is ocd, I just want this to stop, I’m not homophobic in anyway I just don’t want to be gay and the thought that I might be gay really stresses me out

My real event has me believing I don’t deserve to live, to enjoy anything. It was bad, but I was 19 when it happened.

I just talked on the phone with NOCD about resuming my sessions and was told to reach out directly to Ursula Wright, my therapist, to see if she still has availability. I am not exactly sure how to do this as I no longer have direct contact through the app. Any assistance would be appreciated. Thank you