I’m so terrified. I’m scared that this is real and that I’m only obsessing over it and it’s following the OCD cycle because it scares me, or because I’m supposed to. It really does feel real. It must be real. I must be a p* and it’s just dormant. I see so many signs. I’m so scared. I’m just talking, not really seeking much. I just want to feel safe within myself.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
So I feel like I accepted I’m gay and I’m in the closet. I can live my life without a care in the world but I have this thought in the back of my head that I am gay. I don’t think this is OCD anymore. I just want my old life back and even saying that doesn’t feel right. I feel like this is my life now.
Anyone with HOCD struggling to open up to family members in fear that it means you are “coming out,” even though you don’t not want to have these thoughts? I have kept all of my intrusive thoughts in and want to open up to my family but I know it will make them look at me differently because these thoughts go against our values and have never been something I have had before. My biggest fear is that by sharing this with them and beginning my ERP that these thoughts will become true, which is the last thing I want.
Anyone else become numb to ocd thoughts and when you ruminate it starts to feel like your legit considering if it’s true or not :(? My brain is making me doubt it’s ocd and taking me I’m trying to figure out my true identity bc I’m not as anxious ..
Can someone please help I’m really struggling with my rocd i keep getting these images of me breaking up with my bf and the feelings of wanting to feel so real and it’s giving me so much anxiety. I was so in love with him last week then when these thoughts and images came in it feels like my feelings have gone and it’s upsetting me so much
Just kind of an ERP vent. Anyone wanna talk about this experience? It’s bumming me out. So I’ve been doing ERP exercises daily to help myself get over this theme. I started out with ERP towards the gender I have had intrusive thoughts about (men), and it helped knock out a lot of the intrusive stuff and false attractions, but working on my ERP towards women has been rather difficult. I’m still getting mental blocks. I’m trying to expose myself to them and get over false anxiety and other negative false emotions. It’s worked, but it feels like I’m stuck right now. Anyone else getting frustrated? I know ERP is a process, but it feels like it’s taking absolutely forever. Anyone wanna talk / vent about ERP frustrations?
It’s like everyone see’s that I love my partner but me… I cried to my friend bc I was stressed about holding in all my stress. I told her how I am starting to believe I really don’t love my partner anymore. I started crying about it… she said why are you crying if that’s what you believe!? She asked me theses questions like what would happen if you didn’t love him? I answered crying saying I would need to break up with him…. Then what would happen if you broke up? I cried badly saying I wouldn’t be able to be with him anymore…. 😞 She’s like you know people who wants to break up would’ve done it by now and left without a care in the world. The one thing I am worried about it that… I haven’t wanted to have sex with him at all… but there are times where I want to try but I worried about how I am feeling at the moment… 😞 I hate it bc I kept telling myself over and over again that I wasn’t in love with him to get a reaction and now… it’s like I convinced myself I don’t… 😞 But I don’t wanna end my relationship. I feel like I always have to admit that I don’t love him but I am always stuck at this feeling… 😢 he’s the one person I don’t wanna lose bc I care and love him so much. Losing him would hurt me so much.. When I hear people say they are in love.. I constantly feel like I am not… I am so depressed and sad… I am worried about what if I just miss the memories more than I would miss him…. Or miss loving him. It’s just lately it’s non stop.. when I say I love you it feels fake… I don’t want him to be my ex… I know I still love him.. I know deep down he’s my baby.. Why!!… why can’t I see that I still love him when everyone can see it!!! It’s not fair… 😢
When you're taught to embrace your OCD thoughts and deal with them, how does one do that exactly? Example, I get a disturbing thought or uncomfortable feeling, we're taught to embrace it or accept it... How so? It's an unwanted thought.. So how do you embrace something that's so dang annoying or unanswerable? I often find my OCD wanting to get technical and "reading the fine print" of any and all advice given. So annoying.
Recovery tip- Many of our desires are about wanting not to feel things. If you experience panic attacks, you may identify particular situations that make you very anxious and bring up an attack. For example: Going into crowded busy places, public speaking, traveling in a car or plane, hospitals etc. but research shows that for many people, it’s not the situation that they’re actually scared of but the experience of having a panic attack. That desire to avoid the experience leads to the person checking, coping or controlling to make sure it’s not happening. Which increases their chances of judging something internal or external as a sign that it is happening, which scares them and leads to more attempts of controlling, coping or checking, which leads to it actually happening. Keep in mind, if you want to get rid of anxiety and intrusive thoughts or sensations more than anything in this world, your brain will give you many things to feel anxious about so you can try to get rid of that feeling and get what you want more than anything else in the world. Your brain is just trying to help you. It’s helpful to treat your brain like a toddler or a puppy. Toddlers and puppies react to many things. Toddlers cry when they don’t get a cookie, they may think it’s the end of the world. Puppies bark at random noises or whine if they don’t think they’re getting enough attention or enough treats! Your brain operates similarly. Your brain is an uncertainty barometer, always looking out for you. You don’t control the random thoughts or emotions your brain throws up at random moments, but you control your actions. Be the adult to your brain. Give your brain thanks for always being there for you and watching out for you. But you’re not going to perform compulsions and react to those random thoughts and emotions. An urge, desire, thought or sensation can be there as you take a step towards what actually matters to you!
Hey friends!!! I have had MANY themes of OCD but my stickiest one is sexual orientation ocd!! I have had this theme on n off for about 2 years now, and I have gotten to a point when it comes I usually just assume it is ocd. However, I’ve been hitting a pretty severe backdoor spike lately where I don’t feel as much anxiety but more a general sense of numbness due to the thoughts. This makes me feel as though it is geniune, it’s different this time n I enjoy it / “know what I really am”. I find myself having a much harder time coping w ocd when it comes in w this reaction. Anybody have any advice? Thanks so much💚💚
my mom rlly said i dont have ocd because my room is dirty 😭
I’m trying so hard but this memory is killing me, how can something that feels so real be false. I feel so much guilt and shame, my house is trashed. My poor kids. I feel Like there no point in keeping things nice anymore, I’m just a fraud and my daughter remembers what I did and just won’t tell me. I want my life back.
Hi! I am struggling with harm OCD real event and false memory. Your posts have helped me very much, I don’t feel alone in my situation anymore. I would like to share with you things that had helped me too! I am a librarian in France and I like to read a lot I found two fictions about OCD that I liked. The first one is by John Green a very famous young adult novel writter, (he has OCD too) it’s called Turtles All the Way Down. The second is a graphic novel by Glyn Dillon called The Nao of Brown, it’s about a girl who has harm OCD. Hope it helps. Love <3 and thanks a lot for sharing
i don’t feel like I’m in a relationship at all, i just feel numb. Its like i have to almost remind myself he’s my boyfriend and it gives me anxiety because surely it must mean î don’t love him. i don’t want to not love him because i don’t want to hurt him or not be with him after how much we’ve shared together. I want him to be my forever person. What is this, is it rocd or me?? Help i feel ill :(
Have you heard of this ocd theme? Responsibility harm ocd, it’s the fear of causing emotional harm to others or feeling responsible.. my guess is that this can show up as “are you mad at me?” and just frequently apologizing probably.. it could be feeling like you are responsible for family dysfunction or other peoples distress.. (not a ocd professional, but this is my assumption)
when your brain suddenly has you feeling like you’re bored of your person
I see so many people with SO-OCD talk about genuinely knowing their “true” orientation, but still having the irrational fears. This doesn’t really resonate with me, as I’ve had these worries since puberty, and I feel so genuinely confused sometimes. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date or have sex with women, but I also feel so numb and scared of relationships with men. I’m terrified of intimacy (emotional or physical), and I just can’t relate to some of the things people say about SO-OCD.
I hate that I only know I love my partner randomly… I cried in my car bc I want to love him. I do when I feel better I know I love him. It’s just it feels like 11 years never happened at all and I hate it a lot… 😞 I wanna be close again but then I get strange sensations when I do try to get close or I start to feel guilt. I just feel like I am in denial…. I don’t wanna end it. Like right now I don’t feel like I love him anymore….😞 obsessing about it for over a year I started to believe it as truth… everyone around me can see how much I love him. Why can’t i…
Pls help me My boy is super expansive with all the girls. He said that he don't want to flirt with them, that it is just his personality. I have a quality time love and it is super hard for me to see him give a lot of attentions to other girls... It makes me feel so unspecial, just one of others... I don't know what to do... i feel so much pain right now because of this, and I'm about to asking a pause; I don't know If it is the right chose, or an rocd compulsion, but I don't want to keep being hurt like that... what should I do??
What to do when you feel there’s convincing evidence you are your fear? Aka there’s similarities between your behaviour and that of your fear? For me it’s a fear I’m aromantic and because I get uncertain/anxious around getting into a relationship I’m worried this is very similar to what aromantic people do. Please don’t give me reassurance - I just can’t resist ruminating over this. It feels like my fear is real and I’m in denial.
If I’m trying to just practice ERP myself what are some do’s and don’ts and how can I tell if I’m doing it correctly and also if I do it wrong could that have a negative impact?
I feel like my ocd gives me mood swings. A couple of days ago I had this feeling of pure and utter relief like the whole world would be okay and I felt a sense of calm and attraction towards my partner. Then gradually it just dissipated? It’s like I constantly jump between two things with HOCD. It’s like I know I’m not gay but it feels so much as if I am and I want to be? I don’t know anymore. When this thing happened a couple of days ago I was sitting there fully saying “yes my ocd has gone, I don’t need this app anymore, my meds must be working” I felt great. I could forget all the thoughts I had had and just get on with life. It felt like I had been unchained. And now it’s come back even more complicated and confusing more then it ever has been
Psalm 37 Verse 23-24 ²³The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him. ²⁴ Though he may stumble he will not fall. OCD may cause your feet to stumble but you will not fall for God is protecting you x.
Is fear OCD a thing? I fear everything :( Fear health, my mental health, death. Im tired of being tired. Im just tired. Im scared to loose my job/need to quit cause i cant handle it anymore.
After doing so well for a month, I think I’m relapsing. A place I went to today was so triggering. Thoughts and feelings all felt real so I think something is very wrong with me. I don’t want this to be true. I can’t handle it. I just wanted to have a good Christmas.
okay, i might be asking for reassurance here, idk. but hey, is rocd telling me that o want to break up? i don’t know what happened this morning but i’m not feeling very well. i keep getting these thoughts that there are some things wrong with my boyfriend, or that at least i don’t share or wanna be involved in, and that maybe that’s a reason to break up. i don’t know if this things are a big deal or important enough to break up but i’m very scared that’s true.
anyone have advice on how to stay present
It’s so hard dealing with severe anxiety telling me I caused harm to others but suppressed it. just when I finally have relief of one thing, it tells me I caused harm to someone multiple times, and forgot about it. very distressing. can’t feel relief or feel calm, and I feel like I can’t prove that it’s a false memory or not. I feel like a monster.
Hi everyone. Currently struggling with SO-OCD for the first time and for about a month, it’s been all consuming. I know in my core that I am a heterosexual female, but my mind keeps trying to recreate past memories and come up with scenarios to convince me otherwise. I feel so isolated and like I am lying to myself, when really I know that this is my OCD. Has anyone had a similar experience where your mind makes you feel like you are living a lie, even though you know deep down what your values are? Not looking for reassurance, just wondering if anyone can relate, as this is all new to me and is making me feel extremely alone.
I don't know why sometimes I love my s.o so much and then sometimes I feel like I must hate him. I struggle with understanding whether a fulfilling and healthy relationship is possible with ocd or whatever other trauma I have going on. I'm not seeking reassurance I'm just venting because I hate feeling this way and not knowing how I'm going to feel the next day or even heck the next hour.
I’m trying so hard to not let these thoughts bother me. But every day they just get stronger and realer. It’s as if I am moments away from just giving up and admiring I like girls and not boys at all. That is so devastating. I get memories from when I was a kid and the way I would think of girls is questionable so it makes this even more real. This is so hard , I don’t want to like girls. I don’t even care if I am bi at this point I just want to know I’m attracted to boys too so I can continue being with my boyfriend. This probably sounds so stupid but it’s so hard to deal with. I just want to live a life where I know my sexuality and not have to worry about having to change my life because of it. Things used to be so much easier
[positive thoughts] This is your sign to procrastinate today. By that I mean procrastinate your thoughts. Today is the time to be lazy. Treat your thoughts like a math homework or an essay. You'll have time to think about it tomorrow.... or the day after. Heck, think about them when it will be due, if it's ever due.
I just did a mentality change that is really helping me with my doubts. We all have doubts right (rocd and pure ocd)? So what If we use our doubts as motivations to become a better version of ourselves? Obviously not by listening to them or giving them importance, but watching them from a different point of view! I'm just venting, but I would love a your opinion on that!! I think this is a very very powerful mentality!! If you want to try with your doubts too, maby it can helps!! For examples! [TW] (thought->motivation) _ "maby I don't love him enough" -> "I want to heal to love him even more, let's see how!" _ "maby we are not right" -> "I would love to be right, what can I do to improve my relationship and becoming even more right" _ "maby he doesn't love me enough" -> "what can I do to make myself feel more loved (by him and by myself too), I want to do somethingthat turn him on again, that can embrace his and mine qualities!" _ "will I ever be able to feel emotions again?" -> "I want to feel emotions again. What can I do? I think therapy can help so let's start it!"
Not ocd related but I’ve been getting off zoloft (I’m on the last stage before being off completely) and I think I’m getting wacky side effects. Along with the usual nausea and stuff I’ve been getting crazy anger. I’ve never been an angry person so this is scary, I can’t seem to control it. The only things that are helping me calm down are hitting myself or punching pillows. Then sometimes I just cry bc I guess I’m overstimulated Idk what’s going on but the people around me shouldn’t have to deal with it bc I’m snappy and weird. Literally anything can set me off. Has this happened for anyone else w ssris?
I’m having a really difficult time discerning what is and isn’t true with my false memory that’s connected to my real event. I want to believe that a lot of what I I’m terrified of isn’t true because I would think I would explicitly remember it because I remember the moments where I felt bad about what I did, but idk anymore, I’m really scared and feel s**cidal, I keep checking as a compulsion but can’t find out if I’m exaggerating or not. I’m incredibly scared right now.
Hey everyone. I have toughts about being a lesbian. I have always dreamt about boyfriend and a husband untill when the fisrt ”I am lesbian” tought hit me two years ago. It’s like ”deep down you know you are lesbian and want to live with a women” it is so scary and I am worried that what if is not hocd and what if I actually am lesbian😭 does this belong to hocd
I’ve gotten better over the years, but I still dissociate if I realize I’m in a good mood, and instead shift to being miserable, like “oh hey, I feel good, that’s wrong, I’m not supposed to feel good, here are a hundred reasons why it’s not only unreasonable, but actually immoral to feel good.” Happiness feels like clothes that never quite fit
Vent: ERP is great and to get better you have to do exposures BUT you do them at your own pace and when you are ready for them. You also do them of your own accord. I’ve seen way too many people provide purposeful exposures for other people on this app when they did not ask. They might not have even started ERP yet. They may not be ready. Maybe you exposed them to something too big too soon. It’s not your job to expose other people on here especially when they did not ask. Even my NOCD therapist won’t do an exposure that I’m not consenting to. I understand being someone who has gotten over a theme and wants to help, but remember that you were able to get over your theme at your own time and pace. Other people deserve the same.
Why do I feel the need to tell my partner everything? Like all of my beliefs and all of my past and all of my thoughts? Is this my OCD talking or is this just normal behavior?
One thing I am grateful for in regards to therapy and exposures. Is learning how to feel my emotions at their height and realising they won’t harm me. It’s uncomfortable and difficult but I think it’s a skill I can apply to all areas of my life. Emotions aren’t inconvenient, they’re human.
does anybody else ever try to “visualize” their OCD? i like to think of mine as some literal, terrifying monster that’s out to get me. for me, picturing it that way makes it easier to do my best to resist compulsions because then i’m not actively “feeding” the monster. it also makes it a little bit harder for me to believe the horrible things it says about me when i imagine it coming from some scary-looking monster. idk, maybe that’s just me!! would love to hear if y’all do anything similar lol 🌟🍃
I’m ignoring my theme, just disregarding and getting on with my life. I’m feeling extreme anxiety but not going into it. Is this normal? Is this ERP? Being exposed to the thought and not responding?
Intrusive thoughts are like words. If you think of a word hard enough/long enough, it starts to sound funny. It becomes distorted in your mind. The more you say it to yourself, the more you think of this word, the more meaning it loses. The funnier it sounds. It’s hard to reconnect it to its meaning. Later, when you happen to think of it again after taking space from it, you can see it for what it is. It’s clear again and the meaning is back. This is how I feel about intrusive thoughts. The harder I repeat them/think about them, the more distorted and unclear they become. It’s hard to make sense of them. When I take space from them by avoiding compulsions, they make more sense and I can see them for what they are: just random thoughts.
No matter what your brain tells don't believe in that stuff, just let it be as it is and continue with your routine that you are doing you have to accept that they are just thoughts no matter how real they feel, how confusing it looks, anxiety is telling you lies everytime, the only way out of that loop is to accept uncertainty, and slowly slowly do the things you love and focus on what makes you happy, trust me it gets better, everyone on this app will get their happy life back❤️. Sending love to everyone ❤️.
Does anyone agonize about getting a reply to a text? Like I texted someone. Tons have been weird. But I reached out and I'm waiting for a reply and the anxiety is agonizing. Is that part of OCD? Like I can't not think about it.
Do you ever want to ruminate on something but then feel like your brain doesn’t work and you can’t think straight to successfully ruminate on what you want to ruminate on? It feels like being stuck in the weirdest place, maybe like an addict that can’t get a fix.
Is it normal to be scared of dating and not understand why? In the past I’ve felt a lot of anxiety when guys say they like me. I’d love to be in a relationship at some point and maybe ease into it with the right person but commitment is quite scary for some reason. My current theme is that I’m aromantic and in denial so this is definitely reassurance seeking! How do I stop ruminating over my relationship anxiety - it’s like the more I try and figure it out the less certain I get of anything. I don’t want to be anxious about dating I wish I was normal and could just get into a relationship like everybody else :(
(This isn’t universal, everyone’s different, this is just my experience and observations) Idk if this will sound affirming but when I had a fear that I was an attention seeking straight girl I had no attraction to women and only visible attraction to men. When I overcame that fear I regained the attraction to women and still was attracted to men. I think I was so nervous and put on the spot that trying to force an attraction when I felt like I was lying screwed around with me. When you’re obsessed with being attracted to someone it messes with your actual attraction. OCD screws around with who you presume you like because it creates a tunnel effect and it’s ALL you think about. If it revolves around attraction it’s gonna screw with attraction.
Has anyone on here with OCD tried CBD to help with anxiety?
Reminder for all of you; You do not hate yourself, you hate the OCD. Don't forget to practice self compassion and self-care ❤️❤️
I feel like loss of attraction is one of the worst symptoms of OCD. I’ve never been an especially sexual person, and right now I just feel numb whenever I look at men that I feel like I’ve been attracted to in the past. When I look at women I either feel nothing, or I feel a surge of anxiety that is hard to distinguish from excitement or arousal. It makes everything feel so real, and I’m really wondering if I have just been in denial for the past decade. I feel sexually broken, and as though I’m never going to be able to have a meaningful relationship where I can love and be attracted to my partner.
Hello everyone. Been having a lot of anxiety lately due to me not being able to handle my thoughts. I’m getting impatient with myself because I’m constantly having intrusive thoughts j. Regards to my partner when she has done nothing wrong. It’s turning into anger towards myself. Is this normal, the feeling of anger and frustration towards my OCD?
Question: Does NOCD have therapists specializing in Tourettic OCD or anything like it? Even some experience with it, or experience with tics or more compulsive-type OCD?
Does anyone find that sometimes their obsessions center around OCD itself and if you are doing the “right” thing or not so that you can limit the power of OCD? What kind of exposures can I do around this? Any recommendations on how to deal with constant worries/doubts surrounding if I am doing things in my recovery?
I was doing so good for 10 days and then I see articles of women divorcing their husbands after 15+ years of marriage cause they were bi/lesbian. Now I’m like what if this happens to me? What if even though I’ve been straight 26 years it could change in the future? Ugh. 😐
I have been struggling with depression for about a year and it's taken a toll on my relationship. I know there are a lot of things I do now which are bad for my relationship. For example, I may play video games for 12 hours a day till I am mentally incapable of caring for anything due to exhaustion, then getting irritable when I cant play them so I can't give my partner the time of day they need from me. However, whenever I currently feel anxious about the relationship, it triggers me and I will obsess about what I must have done wrong during this past year of depression and take a "deep dive" into my memory to find what I have done wrong in the past year, in hopes to explain why I feel so depressed and confused about the relationship now. Could this be R OCD? I am finding it exhausting and it is stopping me from fixing myself in the now because it's so hard not to think about the past. I think the reason the past gives me anxiety is due to uncertainty from the constant brain fog of depression that I experienced during that time. Oh I also worry that my actions of the past may have harmed my partner, our relationship, and me. Any replies would be greatly appreciated ❤
i’ve been seeing this girl for the last three weeks and she’s great. we get along really well, it’s nice to be around someone who i really click with on so many levels. i want to really get to know her, and i really want her to know me. i was just telling my friends and my therapist the other day about how excited i am about her, because usually i’m so obsessive about relationships that i can’t enjoy them. this girl is the first person in over a year and a half that i’ve felt normal around romantically, i can’t remember the last time i was this hopeful about a partner. the last two days have been really hard for some reason, i think i’m so worried that i’m gonna start panicking that i’ve started panicking. doesn’t that suck? like, you get so worried you’re going to be obsessive and then suddenly you’re obsessive about that fear. we went to trivia night tonight and i think that stressed me out a little bit because we do have different pop culture knowledge and anytime i’m presenting with a difference between me and a partner i get nervous we’re incompatible. i’m realizing how silly that is as i type it though, because whenever i have something in common with a partner i get paranoid it’s some kind of set up? like it’s too good to be true, and then i start to dissociate. so what then? i want to fall in love, it’s hard to remember in moments when im so panicked, but i really do want to fall in love. i think i absolutely have the capacity to fall in love with this girl, im just so terrified that im going to get it wrong. if anyone else is in a similar situation, i just want you to know i believe in you. having ocd doesn’t mean we’re not capable of falling in love, it just makes it a little harder to trust those feelings. i’m gonna keep trying, i hope you do too.
major TW: i’m breaking down a lot.. my “false memory” is becoming realer than ever. I cant tell if it’s false or not but it’s a unspeakable. It’s my worst fear to not reach my dreams and to lose my family. I don’t feel deserving, and the thing is that I might not be able to tell if it’s false or real with certainty and the idea of living with the uncertainty that I could’ve done something just so terrible it tearing me alive. I love my family so much. I want to live a normal life desperately.. i’m so scared. my compulsions to try and figure out if they’re true or not are just really obsessive and it all started out with a bunch of different scenarios that were false of my false memory ocd. the more I think about it the realer it becomes but i’m not completely sure. I’m hitting probably completely rock bottom. I’m scared of losing my family or them abandoning me if I tell them about how I can’t tell if I did this horrendous thing or not. it’s just despicable something i’m completely against. I’m worried that I would’ve been extremely naive stressed and went in with my impulsive behavior. i’m not sure what I would’ve thought afterwards or if I thought about it in the next couple months or just suppressed it. I know I was having a really tough time then. I really just want to be okay. I want to find happiness and not feel like a criminal because of something i’m unsure I did. I cant stand the uncertainty.. it’s eating me alive.
I saw this review on Amazon for a OCD workbook. I thought it was a great take on OCD. This was written by David M. on 8/27/20. “I would like to add my opinion about OCD. OCD is just another Addiction. We, humans, are wired to do two things – Seek Pleasure and Avoid Pain. Both are basically one thing. To be in the Pleasurable state of existence. In short, OCD is a self-drugging behavior to avoid pain, so the brain can release feel-good chemicals. All our systems are wired for pleasure-seeking and escaping the pain. When we find the pleasure or escape the pain- there is a reward- we feel good, euphoria, a relief. Our brains release the ‘Feel-good chemicals- from our own brain’s pharmacy’, the neurotransmitters Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, GABA, etc… these are the ones we develop a ‘tough love’ relationship with. Substances, like drugs and alcohol, stimulate the release of our own ‘pharmacy’, BUT, not only substances do that- Reinforced Behavior does that too, more correctly, thoughts, emotions, and actions that reinforce the ‘feel good’ such as gambling and love addictions, these behaviors release neurotransmitters of reward due to pleasure, are addictive and cause withdrawal when ceased. As research shown, OCD is related to childhood traumas and the resulting lack of self-love. When self-love is not around, Fear sips in. That’s just a survival mechanism. The mind say: No self-love? No pleasure? No problem, I will give you something to avoid- that will make me feel good. That thing is Fear/Anxiety- the source of pain to be avoided- so you can feel good about yourself when you managed to avoid it. OCD is just an upgraded version of anxiety, when the subconscious actually ‘Tames’ you to get that good feeling when Anxiety by itself didn’t result in self-love and relaxation. This process is addicting, making sure you will ‘feel good’ many times throughout the day, keeping the ‘high’. Ever wondered why compulsions are repetitive because the brain sees it as self-dosing, each action serves a dose, more handwashing, more doses of feel good to make the pain go away, until after 10 times- Doubt which is the measuring tool of how many doses are needed gives a temporary green light, until the next craving. That is why, Obsessions are basically just Cravings- a Call for Action- “Give me my dose of good feeling! Go and avoid this painful fear!” Have you ever wondered why other people don’t get inside that loop a person with OCD find themselves of ‘Thoughts/Feelings/Images/Urges’ Because in the same way, a non-addicted person cannot figure why an addict Craves drugs, and cannot ‘just stop with it’. OCD Obsessions are just Craving, that’s why they come unsolicited, that’s why certain situations flare them up, the subconscious mind finds an opportunity to get a dose and evokes an obsession to get the compulsion- the dose of feel good. Our brains are the ultimate ‘Drug Designers’, and can come with the worst fears to make you do one thing- Dose yourself with Avoidance. That is why, as suggested for drug addiction, on how to deal with cravings, perhaps one of the best things to do is just sit with it, surf the pain, watch the film the subconscious brain plays. What you see/think/feel means nothing, and nothing about you, it’s a movie played for you. A trick. Feel the urges until they pass, you are stronger than you imagine, and pain should be confronted to be defeated. Obsessions will come as cravings come, they will flare when there is a high chance to get the ‘fix’. But, with time they decrease until they disappear, because you train your subconscious mind there is NO ‘fix’ from those thoughts, stories, urges, and movies.”
Anyone else struggle to find anyone of the opposite sex attractive anymore? I’m like he’s cute then my mind goes you don’t think he’s cute or you don’t think he’s cute enough so you’re faking it. Like I stare at guys questioning if I think they’re attractive or not and fighting myself it’s really stressing me out. I hope I’m not alone in this!!
hey y’all, OCD is so hard. i just wanted to remind you all that you’re not alone and i’m so proud of each and every one of you no matter where you are on your journey. i am feeling hopeful about my recovery today, and hopeful for everyone else struggling. i believe in you all! it’s okay to take your time 💚🍃
Is it possible to recover without ERP, but just resisting compulsions in general?
I think I like men, but I am scared now that the reason why I have hocd and rocd is not cuz I like women and I am lesbian but cuz I am in a wrong relationship and I am not attracted to my partner and we never had chemistry :-( I spoke with one girl and she had hocd and rocd and she told me that she broke up with her boyfriend and now she doesn’t have ocd anymore. She told me she knows now what she needs and she understand what she really wants. That she was with him only cuz she didn’t want to be alone, she wasn’t self confident and the relationship gives her the feeling that she is worth. She felt safe with him and she mixed it with feeling an attraction and chemistry. That she knew that they don’t have chemistry but she lie to herself cuz it was hard to be honest with herself. That she wanted to be loved and she has anxiety about that someone leaves her. I am scared now that it is also my case :-( that I love my boyfriend only as a friend. I am scared I started to be with him cuz he was nice to me and took care about me, not like the men in the past who wanted only sex from me… I am also not self confident and I always wanted to have a husband and family so bad :-( I am scared I wanted it so bad that I just took someone who was nice to me without being attracted to him
I really want to see if others share this. I have experienced false memory ocd and ROCD. My false memory ocd typically occurs after I drink alcohol. I think I’m so focused on being “good” while drunk that I overanalyze everything I do and my mind comes up with the worst things that I could’ve done wrong. Then I convince myself it must of happened even though I have no concrete memory of these bad things. THEN I feel the need to confess the bad things in my mind to those that would be greatly impacted by them. BUT when I confess I feel better and I feel as if the thoughts aren’t as real anymore. Does this resonate with anyone?
Day 10 of not giving in to my compulsions. This is the longest I have gone this whole year. It has really helped me to say “Hello OCD, those are intrusive thoughts/images, my attention is not needed there.” I acknowledge the thoughts/images for what they are and move on with what I was doing. It feels so empowering to shut down OCD. I know I will have good days and bad days, but I am going to continue with this mindset going forward. Know that you all can do it too. 💖
Easier said than done, but uncertainty is truly; is truly the answer to all, subtypes of OCD. Why? Because nothing, in life is ever, 100% certain. Therefore, moving forward with statements to yourself after having had an intrusive thought(s) like; “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” “Maybe I will, maybe I wont.” Followed by labeling the thought(s) as intrusive is honestly/truly the only way to reset/rewire the brain in order for it to realize that there is no real, threat. FYI, this is both anxiety provoking and causing; therefore, it’s to be expected, but we must all sit with both it and uncertainty in order to move on! Then, focus on your morals, values, etc. They’re who/what you truly are! Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌
A quick tip :- Fighting thoughts actually give it more power, instead just let it be there say to yourself that there are just thoughts, your mind is playing tricks to you it has no control over your life, and do the daily activities that you used to do in order to keep the mind diverted. Hope this helps❤️.
I feel like my biggest obsessions center around therapy and it makes things so difficult
I have had somatic ocd for 6 year now. Everyday i control my breathing and it feels like I am in a constant panic attack. Being this aware of my breathing is torture my psychiatrist has upped my dosage and I am switching therapists because nothing I’m doing or have done has helped to alleviate my suffering. I can also become aware of my blinking and swallowing Does anyone have any tips on how I can beat this or at least enjoy my life living with it I’m so depressed I can’t stop controlling my breathing
I want to google so many things. What does antidepressants do to an ADHD mind, am I going through psychosis, what if im misdiagnosed? I know if i google it will put me elsewhere. I feel sick, tense muscles and just exhausted. I have to leave for work in 30 min and I just struggle :( I just feel like im loosing my mind. Positive vibes please!
I have POCD and it continuously gets worse. I have been having nightmares by about the worst possible scenarios, in existence. Extreme harm to innocent children. It's absolutely awful and I cannot escape it. And from the bodily no responses I am still so unsure if it is anxiety screaming at me...or something else. Even if I did not have OCD and this was true, it would hurt me to ever harm a child or anyone innocent. Child abuse is the most upsetting thing to me. For me it seems any research on POCD from the outside world is very limited. And I mean very limited. Many who do not have this terrible variant of OCD cannot understand the extreme weight of it on the people who suffer in silence. I just do not know what to do anymore. I wanna be good and I want to be myself but OCD or whatever this is seems to suck it all away.
My obsession if I’m aro/ace is so terrifying. I’m in despair because I managed to recover from HOCD so successfully for so long but this theme feels different and real. It’s so confusing because I see so many posts online about how aromantic people hate their sexuality and feel uncomfortable in relationships but wish they didn’t and that’s similar to me (idk if I feel uncomfortable in relationships I have minimal experience but I am a little scared of them/commitment). I don’t know where to go from here. Doing the OCD recovery work feels terrifying because it feels as if I’m in denial. I rarely see anyone talk about this theme. Please please someone help.
I feel like most ppl my age (college) seem to be so mean and self centered. Why do people make fun of others even at this age? I thought college students were more accepting of others but it doesn’t seem like that
Journal Entry (Don’t read if you’re at your lowest) I think I’m at one of my lowest points ever since my OCD has been considered severe. All these memories both real event and false memory keeps coming back and making things worse. I feel entirely alone and don’t think I deserve help. I’m just waiting for something terrible is going to happy at any day, and at this point, a part of me wants to something like that to happen, to reach my absolute lowest with no hope in coming back because at least that way I don’t feel a need to get better for anyone. Life is miserable and I can’t find any joy, and if I do, it’s taken away by my real event slapping me in the face of false memory causing me to ruminate and warps my mind and memory of events. I’m alone, no one tolerates me me talking about my OCD anymore, which I understand, it’s tiring trying to constantly reassure someone of the same thing, it’s like trying to play a broken record. I don’t know what’s next for me, I have no one in my life who wants to really speak to me but I also can’t just give up and unalive myself without causing pain to others. It’s a terrible thing, I don’t deserve anyones love or compassion. I’m a rotting mold in everyone’s life. And to anyone that wants to leave a nice comment, please don’t, I’m not looking for reassurance, it doesn’t work anymore and I don’t want it. I suppose I’m just writing this to vent and to get clarity in my mind
no because my so-ocd really makes me wonder if i'm not just a closeted homophobic. Like why am I so scared of being gay? Like I consider myself open and accepting to everything, but why does the idea of not being straight freaks me out. I'm really wondering if I might not just be repressing my true feelings because I'm "secretly" homophobic. But at the same time I'm not gay or homophobic? so confusing and annoying
I hate when OCD truly makes you unsure of yourself and your values and makes you doubt your goodness and your love for others. i know deep down in my heart that i’m a good person but sometimes i feel my OCD makes me think otherwise
Does anyone especially with harm ocd feel like they are their thoughts and want to do these things? Like no matter how hard I try and even during my therapy session I get the constant, “what if this isn’t OCD?”, “you like these thoughts”, “your a bad person”, “your going to act on these thoughts.” It gotten to the point where it feels like I’m actually this person and that I have changed into an evil person and it’s so scary cause it’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m never going to get my life back and that’s saddening. I’ve never had a violent history never hurt anyone or anything but I don’t know why it feels like I am.
tw / self harm i’ve been trying to find a way to post this for a few days but i keep backing out. i have now relapsed back into self harming. i don’t know how else to cope with the extreme feelings i get that come with my ocd and it’s the only outlet that makes me feel better/calms me down. i don’t know what to do. i’m so ashamed and i feel so guilty because everything feels like denial at this point. it makes me nauseous just thinking about it and i can’t stand the sight of myself anymore.
Well the only thing stopping me to get healed is to accept the discomfort and letting the thoughts pass and accepting them/ not fighting against them. I just realized how much strength it takes to not engage and argue with thoughts
Relationship OCD: What exposures have worked well for you from an ERP perspective if you struggle with this subtype of OCD? I tend to feel the most distress/anxiety when I am in the presence of my girlfriend, as I become super aware of my thoughts and have trouble dissociating from them. With this being said, it is hard for me to find exposures that replicate this when I am on my own so I can practice response prevention. Ideas would be much appreciated. Thanks!
Who do I contact if I was supposed to start therapy tomorrow but my therapist got fired due to the vaccine mandate??? Any ideas?