Anyone feel like they see someone attractive who is not of their “normal” orientation and don’t know how to react now? Anxiety is there. But you don’t know if it’s denial or just HOCD. I see a girl (I am a straight male) and attraction feels normal but every once in a while I see a random guy who is attractive but I don’t know how to differentiate the two. The guy causes tons of anxiety and stress. I know I’m straight but my mind won’t let me accept that I am straight and makes me think I am attracted to the opposite of my orientation.
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I'm not feeling so good right now. My mind is fueling my relationship with doubt, but I feel that my intrusive thoughts have really made me reach genuine doubt and that scares me. I don't know how to express that I know I am committed to my partner and our relationship, but I'm scared the way I feel will make me do something I'll regret. But worse, I'm scared of my feelings being true and I don't want them to be. I hear a lot of people say on social media "maybe you do care for your partner, just not in a romantic way" but I don't want it to not be in a romantic way. I feel very down and separated from any romantic connection. I don't know how to explain it.
Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts about their OCD getting so bad that they have to go to a psych ward ?
Anyone else feel out of their mind? I feel uncomfortable in my head what feels like 24/7. I’m cloudy and feel negative about everything cause it’s like well I have ocd and I’m gonna have these thought constantly so it’s hard to focus and be happy. I don’t see a silver lining; it’s really tough. I don’t know what’s gonna really help me
Lately I’ve been experiencing feeling in the mood to have sex with my boyfriend and I joke about it when we begin our date, but as we are getting closer to the end of the date and when we’ll have sex I start to feel so anxious and worry I won’t like it and it obviously then spills over to not full enjoying it and being in the moment. Can anyone relate/have any advice to overcome this?
I didn’t realize my biggest compulsion was searching online for answers and reassurance about whatever my OCD was bothering me about until recently. I dissent know it was even classified as a compulsion and I have a very hard time not doing it when I’m having an OCD episode. I get very physically sick and can’t focus on anything until I search online for an answer and I know I’m not supposed to give in to compulsions but I’m not sure what to do. Today I have an episode and I tried not to give in to the compulsion, but I could refrain from it and I ended up spending over an hour on it. (I’ve spent even longer on compulsions in the past) what do you guys do when to prevent yourself from googling for answers and reassurance?
Does ocd ever really make you believe that deep deep down it’s all true and real? I hate that damn feeling. You just can’t trust your thinking.
BIG SOOCD TRIGGER WARNING rant Really and truly feels like deep denial and i only enjoy the way sec feels and am not attracted to men or my bf…. i get images all through sec and feel like they turn me on more…
HOCD: a recovery story. My HOCD began around 2 years ago. At the time, I didn’t know that I had OCD. I have a vivid memory of the moment it all started. I was scrolling through TikTok, and stumbled upon a video of a girl talking about how she’d been ‘straight’ her whole life until meeting this one woman, and then she realised that she had never been straight at all… Initially, I felt confused, and then I felt one of the most intense rushes of panic I’ve ever felt: ‘what if I’m gay and just don’t know it?’, and a million other trailing thoughts ensued. What followed was 2 years of endless questioning, anxiety, panic, confusion, sadness and grief. Looking back, it’s almost comical to me how I let someone else’s narrative and experience shatter my own identity; but I guess that’s just how OCD works. It was a couple of months into this theme that I stumbled upon ‘HOCD’. What I was experiencing felt so bizarre; I had no concrete evidence to suggest that I was into women, yet I was questioning my sexuality every day, for hours! Having a pretty stereotyped conception of OCD, I didn’t believe that I could possibly have it… and then a thread started to reveal itself; I’ve had obsessions in the past about my health - I always assumed it was hypochondria, but it had an obsessive-compulsive style; it was more than just ‘worry’. It then occurred to me that this obsession with my sexuality felt very similar… After a lot of research, learning about OCD (the ‘pure O’ kind) and hearing and reading the experiences of others, I decided that I should start implementing exposures into my day-to-day life, in the hopes that I could finally close that chapter of my mental life. For me, my predominant ‘compulsions’ were reassurance seeking and checking. This manifested as staring at ‘erotic’ images of women, monitoring my mental and bodily responses, doing the same with men, and comparing the two; playing scenarios in my head of myself both romantically and physically with women, monitoring my responses; going back over photos, videos and memories to see if I ever behaved in a ‘non-hetero’ way; and the embarrassing list goes on. I found that intentionally trying to ‘stop’ these things, just fuelled my desire to do them more - to find certainty. I decided that this method - for some reason - wasn’t working. My next choice (and the choice that basically ended my battle with OCD) was letting the thoughts be there, but changing my response. I realised that the crux of my suffering was my constant responding to the thoughts, and my constant rumination on them. I realised that it was taking away from my day-to-day life - I wasn’t doing as much as I could’ve/should’ve been, I was neglecting aspects of myself that I should’ve/could’ve been attending to. I started to focus on the things that gave me a sense of meaning and contentment: school, my friends and family, music, learning, my health, etc, all the while LETTING the thoughts be there. At first, the suffering felt the same, I was still thinking all the time, I still felt like I was on autopilot, but I was progressing. Before I knew it, this progression became exponential. Over the course of months, my shift in prioritisation yielded huge rewards. I was happy and thriving, and my HOCD just became a dull background noise that had virtually no relevance to me. For some, the only way to achieve this is though therapy; I didn’t have the means, and that likely made things harder, so I highly recommend professional help to those who have access to it!!! Nonetheless, I feel free from OCD. Yes, I still have thoughts about my sexuality, YES, I still engage in the odd compulsion, but I definitely don’t qualify as having OCD anymore. Nothing triggers me in that regard, which I’m unbelievably thankful for. For example, I couldn’t even hear a ‘coming out’ story without bursting into panic and sometimes tears!!Now, I could listen to one with intrigue and absolutely no anxiety, and that’s really saying something. If anyone can take anything from this, I hope it’s the knowledge that you’re not doomed to your obsession, there is, unequivocally, hope for you. If I can recover, in the state that I was in, then there’s no doubt that (regardless of the severity) you can too!!! In retrospect, I can see how cognitively distorted my thinking was, and that’s not something you have insight into until you’re on the other side. I’m writing this with joy. I’m sending my absolute best wishes to all, whatever obsession you’re dealing with. You are not trapped, you are not doomed, you are not incapable of recovery - make the choice of change now.
18+ I’ve recently started getting more and more inc3st intrusive thoughts lately about my brothers that I feel disgusting about because I’ve never had these kind of thoughts before and while me and my boyfriend were having sex the whole time I kept getting images of them and my thoughts kept telling me I think they’re attractive and that I’m bored with my boyfriend because I’d rather be thinking about them. And I feel so gross saying all of this but I don’t want to tell my boyfriend even though he knows pretty much everything about my POCD. With all these sexual intrusive thoughts at once it just makes me feel like I’m a pervert and that I want all these thoughts especially when my ocd keeps bringing up my past porn addiction and mistakes I have made. I in no way shape or form want these thoughts but I just feel so guilty considering my past and how my intrusive thoughts seem so real. Ugh I just want to be normal again and have normal thoughts that normal people have.
On days where I’m feeling plagued with intrusive thoughts and a little down, I can find myself wondering “why can’t you pick yourself up, why don’t you feel like you did yesterday, have you learned nothing in recovery, why aren’t you applying the tools you’ve learned…?” And days where I feel positive and less plagued by my OCD, I can find myself wondering “this doesn’t hurt like it used to, is this bad, do you even have OCD, why am I even doing recovery I feel great, why did I feel so bad last week…?” Recovery is just NOT a linear thing. And that’s okay. OCD is sneaky and can even try to disrupt good days in recovery. Thinking of everyone in recovery today and hoping that they will be strong!
Right now I feel like God is disappointed in me because of one of my tattoos that has pagan history even though I did not know it had that history and I do not align with paganism and im afraid that im going to be punished because of it, even though im making efforts to getting it removed.
Is self sabotage a thing in OCD? When something disgusting could potentially trigger you and your brain automatically pictures it.
18+ tmi I was m wording to my gf and while I was about to finish I had a thought about her cousin come into my head and when I had the thought I had another thought that said I don’t care but I do care and before I started I told my self that If I have a thought like that it’s ocd but I still feel guilty each time I have a thought while doing it 😣😣😔😔
Is am the only one who gets such thoughts of one's own family regarding sexual thoughts
Even though I know that I didn't say something that offends someone...I always check my past conversations in my mind that whether I told something that offends someone or not!😭😢
I just want to say, whoever is reading this, you are so strong. The fact that you downloaded an app to try to help yourself is a huge step! I’ve always had OCD my whole life, it just got really bad with my intrusive thoughts that started half a year ago. I’ve developed depression, and severe anxiety these past six months. It gets so hard. Just waking up in the morning feels like a huge task now. I feel like I lost myself through all of this, like I’m this random person now. It’s so hard that I mostly try to pretend that my thoughts/compulsions never happened . I try to pretend that my life is the same from before this started. Everyday goes by so fast, I wake up, I brush my teeth, try to eat breakfast, do my school, obsess over my thoughts, eat dinner, and head to sleep as obsessing. I’m not satisfied with my life, but I’m gonna try to overcome this. I wanted to tell people this so I could remind you, you’re not alone! One step at a time is what matters.
Can boredom lead to compulsions as well? Sometimes I’m on my phone and I don’t know what else to do so I Google and go on Reddit
anyone with ocd have this symptom : having bad thoughts and then thinking these are your actual desires and don’t know how to feel anymore ?
i know that you can control ruminating but sometimes it feels like i want/need to do it. is that just a habit?
I’d like to share something I read recently that helped me to start viewing my OCD in a different light. Many of us view OCD as a monster attacking us. May I challenge you all to try and view OCD instead perhaps as a faulty alarm. The brain has a system in place to warn us of potential threats - this is normal functioning. However, with anxiety, OCD, etc., this system becomes hyperactive and can cause issues. It’ll start throwing out these “fake-out” threats (obsessions) in order to get you to take precautions over things that aren’t happening (compulsions). It demands these compulsions because then it’s like you’re protecting yourself. But the threat isn’t there, that’s why a lot of it is surrounded in “what-ifs”. The brain is basically trying to protect us in its own way due to OCD. I personally never understood how OCD was the brain’s weird way of protecting us until I saw it from this side. I believe that once the perspective is shifted to view OCD in this light, it can cause us to develop self-compassion for ourselves - which I believe is vital to recovery. That’s why when we eliminate compulsions, we are telling our brains that we don’t need to do anything about the “threat” it is sending out. It’s being wayyy overactive, and we need to let the alarm ring without doing anything about it. The brain learns and changes when we avoid compulsions and we get closer to recovery. I sometimes think it could even be viewed as the character Fear from the movie Inside Out - imagine if he was running the show, huh? I hope this can help any of you out there struggling. Even just changed in perspective when it comes to OCD can make a huge shift in someone’s life. 💛 Also if anyone is interested, I came across this perspective doing a self-compassion for OCD workbook by Kimberly Quinlan, LMFT.
Also can ocd make u like want to change something abt urself even tho u hate it but u won’t do it because you know you’ll regret it like cutting my hair I rlly don’t want you like me hair but can it make u feel like something is missing even tho you know there’s not lemme know if U relate
Does anyone else feel like they are on edge all the time. Like my body/mind are constantly just prepped for something bad to happen. Like I won’t be thinking about my intrusive thoughts I’m just sitting here anxious like my mind/body are preparing for something. Maybe I’m anxious about having bad thoughts in general…any insight?
Buy the book the Anxious Truth. I wish I bought this the day I had OCD. Dont even think about it I would buy it now it truly feels like it was made for you!
ocd makes me think im in denial, and that i did something bad (even if it's so impossible) and i actually liked these thoughts
watching porn is the worst compulsion ever it ruins everything i hate it so much. Everytime i do it i tell myself i need to never watch it again because it makes my soocd so bad after but i still feel like i can’t stop because i think it’ll give me reassurance.
How do I stop comparing my boyfriend to guys I find physically more attractive? I find my boyfriend very attractive physically but I always compare him to people that are ‘better’...I hate that I do this because we are really good together :(
Is not trusting yourself a part of OCD? I literally can’t trust myself to do anything because I’m afraid of doing something wrong or bad 😔
Am i the only one that suddenly my mind tells me that i did something horrible but i know i didnt do it like its impossible that i did that but i still get anxiety and feel the need to check that i didnt do that? Am i going crazy? I hate this so much
Please help I’m feeling spacy and depressed. I’m working at the moment but I feel like I’m on fight flight mode. I’m calm but worried, too. Like I’m not grounded and my mind feels all over the place and conflicted.
I’ve reached a strange point with ROCD. I can feel myself ruminating a lot less because I’m a lot less anxious and it doesn’t seem like it’s on my mind every minute of every day. I just feel sort of empty and I can say to myself “I don’t love him” and I won’t get an anxious response, or I won’t feel as anxious as I used to. I feel sort of closed off and like I’ve built up a wall. My boyfriend doesn’t feel real and when I’m with him he feels like a stranger. It’s like I’ve spent the last 6-7 months being someone else and I’m just coming round to find myself in a weird new life, I can’t even describe it. I’m finding it so hard to connect with him and it’s just providing the OCD with more fuel. It feels like the ROCD was right all along, that I’m not in love with him. Was it even ROCD? I wish I could feel the love feelings that he does for me. He told me the other day he falls a little more in love with me everyday and I didn’t know what to say back because I’ve spent every day of our relationship doubting, questioning and searching for my own feelings. I wish the handful of days when I’ve felt in love stayed around but now the relationship is 7 months old I’m worried I’ll never feel those infatuation or loving feelings once the ROCD subsides, if it is even that to blame.
Good morning!! I had the realization that running from intrusive thoughts, or that feeling of anxiety, is a lot like playing hide n’ seek. When you’re hiding, the anxiety is heightened by the idea that someone is looking for you and could catch you at any moment. The solution to feeling better is not in becoming a better hider, but in revealing your position to bring an end to the game. The longer you hide, the more you likely you are to be found against your will. So today, my challenge to myself and others is that we will reveal our position as many times as possible. When your spidey senses are tingling and you feel the intrusive thoughts around the corner, announce loudly (in your mind, of course) “Hey, I’m over here!” because, just like in hide n’ seek, that ends the game. Our minds will tell us that being found is the worst possible scenario but reality (and ERP) will show us that really, revealing our position challenges OCD because we ran toward the anxiety rather than away from it. Go out there and reveal your position!!
Please can someone sponsor me with therqpy can't afford therapy I'm from the philippines really need it please
Having your ocd themes leak into your dreams has to be the most confusing experience ever bc I wake up and I'm like "why was I not anxious in the dream??"
Anyone else just give in and say what their anxiety is telling them (ex: maybe I am bi) and then you don’t feel anything and it all stops. and then you worry that you don’t feel anxiety & what if you feel comfortable with that or like it? :(
Does anyone else get triggered when they feel like they are not girly enough? Or it’s not even that. You just don’t feel girly enough? Like any little things seems to make you feel more like a Tom boy
Does anyone know of any good books about Relationship Anxiety/ ROCD that have helped you?!?
It takes such an incredible amount of strength to live like this. We all may be struggling really bad, but we’re all still pushing through it like warriors- and we have each other’s backs.
Does anyone else‘s ocd tell you that you are just trying to justify what you’re obsessing over during times when you do start to get a better perspective on the obsession? My mind constantly tells me that I’m just letting myself off the hook.
How can ocd convince you that you’ve done something horrible that you don’t even remember!? This has to be the definition of insane. I feel super guilty and anxious for no REAL reason, ALL of the time. This is absolute torture. It’s like my brain is constantly looking for something to worry about and be stuck on.
My thoughts are not as bad as they usually are today I feel like myself for the most part but what bothers me is when my OCD is skyrocket I’m anxious and nervous and reminiscing on thoughts making sure I haven’t harmed anything or anyone 😩 The guilt and shame the comes along with intrusive thoughts is usually how I spend most of my days. But like today when my thoughts are not as bad I find myself very quiet for no apparent reason and I feel like I’m down (sad) (bored) . My question is does everybody else feel this way to is this part of our OCD
Y’all I have horrible ROCD and so many people in my life are always telling me about how my concerns are valid, and that if I think I can do better I should break up with him. I just get bored when he talks, I’m not always excited to see him, and sometimes our relationship seems so boring and I literally don’t want to talk to him or I get super standoffish. I’m afraid that the only reason I don’t leave is because he loves me so much. And it’s like if he didn’t would I fight for our relationship?
Anyone experience intrusive thoughts/sensations/feelings when you’re triggered and then when you try to go back in your mind you feel like you acted in someway?
Hi. I just want to know is this a compulsion or not. When I see a trigger on tiktok I scroll down it but then I need to look at it and try to figure out is this person really attractive or this is just my ocd. Is that a compulsion after obsession? Cause I don't really have clear intrusive thoughts about person on a video, but I have anxiety symptoms (mostly pressure in my head).
Any female HOCD sufferers been triggered by stories of females coming out later in life, who were always in relationships with males?
my pocd is convincing me that the only reason i don’t act on the thought is because it’s not socially acceptable and it’s really playing with me because it confuses my morals , anyone else?
I’m really scared I know I love my boyfriend and I know I want to be with him , we are talking about serious commitments like mariage. But something feels off , I constantly have a pain in my stomach and I’m scared that I’m using ROCD as an escape for facing the reality that despite the love I have for him and how much I want to be with him and things to work there’s something missing. I’m scared that this simply won’t go away , I am trying my hardest here. I have been diagnosed with ROCD by a professional though and that is something that helps to keep me going through these tough times and hope things get better. I’m so scared to lose my boyfriend, I can’t fault him in any way I think he is amazing but why does swim thing feel off ?
Hey there ! This morning I’m listening to the OCD and anxiety podcast. I’m listening to the episode called ‘discovering the lens of fear. Matt said something really powerful. “Living in this fear is worse than the thing I’m so scared of coming true” Today I was disappointed that I gave into a compulsion last night of asking my partner for reassurance. But I am so encouraged though that yesterday I had soo many intrusive thoughts but 9times out of 10 I did not have to follow or try to fix the thoughts. 9 times out of 10 obsession didn’t insue … and 9 times out of 10 I didn’t follow up with a compulsion. Grateful for my progress. Today I am committed to not doing my compulsions. Because for me it doesn’t matter if the thoughts are likely to actually be true… it doesn’t matter because FEAR itself is my biggest problem today,, not thoughts and not others Letting go 💜
hi! um, so i’ve been told with rocd that a relationship means falling in and out of love a bunch of times, but is that supposed to happen like when we get on a fight or something? or it can be like just one day or a few days i’m not really feeling all the spark and i’m not like super excited about everything and almost feel like i’m not attracted to my partner for a few days? i mean it all goes back to “normal” after a few days but feeling (or not feeling it lol) can be super scary
I still kiss and cuddle with him but… I still feel nothing…. I haven’t gotten therapy yet… I sometimes don’t cry…. I am convinced I am not attracted to my partner when I still randomly touch his butt. After feeling this way for awhile I am convinced I don’t love him anymore… been saying I wanna break up still to get a reaction when I don’t want to b it I get no reaction anymore…. 😞 I cry very little compared to before… does this mean… I only love my partner when I have feelings… I know I love him when I don’t constantly focusing on the negatives about my partner….
I wanna love my gf so much but I think I'm not being able to do so because theres something wrong in my mind. I dont know if its rocd or something but theres definitely something wrong. Do yall relate ?
I need help. I’ve been feeling disconnected today more so than before. Not from reality obviously since I’m able to post this and am aware but deep inside I just don’t feel like 100% like I feel off. I have pure O and these days I’m worried about what’s going to happen to me. I know it’s irrational but I can’t seem to cope. I have depression and GAD, too. I have a hard time accepting all these. It’s been two years. My husband tells me I’m dumpling or complaining all the time. Others tell me I complain about the same thing - that I feel spaced out etc. Deep inside I feel conflicted, lack of confidence and constantly comparing myself now versus before. I’m able to work and come up with great ideas but I just hate that outside of work I feel lost. Going outdoors don’t give me joy like I used to. I also look down on myself for having mental issue. I’m trying to convince I’m not going crazy but I fear and think what if? Used to be so happy and grateful before. Now even my faith in God is waning and I question myself. I just want to truly live again without any fears and this feeling of being out of it. I welcome thoughts on how to cope and if you experience the same things. I just want to feel normal. Sometimes I imagine like what if I can turn this OCD into my super power. I’m also tired and disappointed that I have to take meds for my mental health. I fear that it is causing me to be spaced out. How did I let myself go this way. I wish there were warning signs.
this is sort of stupid but ocd is acting like a bitch rn every time i find an adult man attractive, and i notice his manly features like his facial hair or something my brain is like "oh. your dad has facial hair too. you like your dad?" and it makes this weird association between the guy im attracted to and my dad and it makes me feel weird and yucky and the girl i have a crush on has a rather high pitched voice, and i love her voice because it's soft and soothing and then my brain is like "you like her voice and it's high pitched. kids have high pitched voices too. you like kids?" and it makes me feel gross again it's irrational yeah but my brain makes these weird associations and it bothers me or even shuts off my attraction completely and when i tell myself it's okay to say this man is hot even if my brain is telling me" if you do that you're basically admitting to being attracted to your dad" i just can't do it cuz i feel gross although i know that deep down its a bit of a reach i hope this made sense
For someone like me who just has suicide themed OCD, someone who has never been suicidal what are the chances an SSRI would make me feel that way for real? I’m just terrified to try them because of that :/
i know i ask this a lot but is anyone here almost fully recovered from pocd?😞
I don’t want to be gross but I need help for this For the past few weeks I've been constantly checking if I'm wet from the bottom, I'm so focused on it that I can't think of anything else. I walk and I always feel like I'm wet except when I really want to. I feel like I could never get what I really want
What do I do? Some of my symptoms match with rocd and some match with relationship anxiety. I dont feel good today. It seems like I've lost interest in her when I dont wanna. I broke down in the washroom today, I looked at her picture and started kissing it while I was crying. I hate myself for feeling like this. I also slapped myself and hit myself with bottles. Please help me someone I really want my gf. I'm 16 and it's been 3 months since we are together 😭😭
My 16 yr old son struggles with sexual/violent OCD, involving unwanted thoughts about killing or raping family members, including his little brother. He opened up to one of his friends about it and now this "friend" has turned on my son and is spreading horrible rumors about my son. I'm trying to encourage my son to come here and talk with others but he is resistant.
Really struggling right now. Not seeking reassurance, but just need to vent because ocd is relentless. My ocd has latched onto the actual treatment of my ocd itself. I have an irrational fear that my docs will think I’m too obsessed with medications/appts and they will then stop prescribing my meds and stop seeing me as a patient because they don’t want to give into my OCD. Then I’ll be left to deal with my ocd on my own without meds and appts w/ specialists. This is a very paradoxical ocd and just an example of how ocd can do literally anything to keep a strangle hold on it’s victims. Any advice, thoughts, prayers are appreciated. Much love.
I feel like I’m navigating this medication journey alone. Was prescribed by my Dr and the psychiatric np (whom I’ve never met). Was given hydroxyzine for quick relief. Finally after 2 weeks of having it on hand, I took it last night. (Just 1/4 of the dose) and again early this morning. I am trying so hard to get the courage to take the lexapro and told my Dr I wanted to start at a quarter of the 5mg pill. She said I could but I likely wouldn’t benefit from it. I just wanted to start on that to minimize side effects. Anyone start that low (1.25mg) or lexapro. How did it work out. I wanted to try it for a few days then go up to 2.5. Then if need be up to 5. I’m alone. I fear side effects. I’m phobic with medications. I’m proud that I took the other medication. But the issue is I was told that I can not take the hydroxyzine and lexapro at the same time. So how do I calm myself enough to take the lexapro or if I get additional anxiety from it? I have to wait several hours between both. I’m not sure what to do. But I know that I need to start the lexapro asap. I can’t feel this constant anxiety all day and night day after day.
TW* Having urges to watch gay p*rn, im scared, I dont want to give in but theres very graphic sexual scenarios playing in my head and I know if I watch it ill like it but I dont want to give in man, thats just denial isnt it. I know it.
Does anyone suffer from meta ocd, or like obsessing about their disorder ? I wish I could stop thinking about every dang thought and idk it’s like every thought is tainted with ocd. I just want to think about other things and focus on my life and tv and shows I like without my mind monitoring for anxiety or ocd.
tw for generally being unwell . . . . i feel like i'm drowning in my brain. i want to isolate myself from everyone because i feel evil. everyone is so kind to me and i can't help but think if they only knew the vile shit that passes through my mind against my will they would understandably walk away. i feel like a liar. i betray people either way. either i confess and cause harm and betray all the love they choose to give me, or cut them off due to some weird effort to take responsibility for being intrinsically terrible and cause harm. or i take the love and feel unworthy. feel like an impostor. somebody exploiting. i feel so paralyzed and afraid and helpless and swallowed by my brain. i just want to love people. i want to be normal. i want to be good.
False memories are the worst :( some days I’m fine other days are horrible . I don’t think I will recover from false memories I don’t understand how anyone could get over it . I wish I could just remove this from my brain and just be happy.
Reflecting on my life in my teens/early 20s and all the poor choices I made and the way I allowed myself to live. OCD makes it feel like it was just yesterday. It makes me feel like there’s no reason to try for tomorrow because I haven’t been good in the past. I should have been better but I can’t become better. Tonight is just rough and I’m having a hard time with it. Any advice for handling the feeling of hating yourself and your past actions?
Can someone give me some advice? I'm really feeling unattached from my relationship right now. I have been feeling emotionless towards my partner, questioning if I really wanted to be in this relationship, have been lacking in reaction to intrusive thoughts which makes me think I want them, I feel I'm way too calm in this situation, I question my partners morals/appearance, and sometimes I feel validated in these feelings which makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to feel like that at all because I really like him and I want to be with him. Sometimes noticing someone else's physical appearance/attractiveness makes me feel uncomfortable and like a cheater. I really feel overwhelmed and I don't know how to help myself, but I feel like everything I can ovethink or feeling negatively about, I have. :/
Do any of you experience thinking that you actually want to act on your thoughts? Sometimes I think to myself that I want to do these things, and it makes me feel like a terrible person 😞
You *can* and will make it through this. It might feel impossible to see beyond it, or remember what came before it, but know that what’s next is on the way and it’s so much better than where you are right now. That’s what I wish I could tell past self while she was having a nervous breakdown at her in-laws’ house in November; who couldn’t focus at work; who was crying almost every day. Baby steps are still big steps in the healing journey. You can do it.
I have been struggling with what I think is Harm OCD for about 2 years now. My main intrusive thought is stabbing and killing my loved ones and the ones I care the most about! Everytime I have the thought, I get this guy wrenching scared feeling as if I am going to act on it. It terrified me and causes me to feel hopeless at times. At one point, I made my dad take all the knives out of the house. I am not to that point anymore, but the thoughts and scared feeling are still there. My anxiety causes me to pick the skin around my thumbs and just feel plain anxious. Is this Harm OCD? I want to figure out how to take control of this and move forward.
Freaking out about comphet again. Trying to stop myself for reading the master doc / subreddit but I’m struggling!! Really need advice please :(
Something that is helping me/making me chuckle is picturing Dr Rick from the Progressive commercials as my erp coach. Ie “no we’re not going to go back to that, let’s jump back into the present.” Or “I see we are right ruminating now, is that a good idea?” He’s so calming while also telling you like it is! If you know these commercials you know what I’m talking about 😀
Anyone else feel like it’s just a matter of time until their intrusive thoughts come true?
I have moments where I know I love my partner. But most of the time I am stuck believing I don’t… I cried asking my partner if i would ever feel normal again.. he said getting help and talking to a therapist would be the right track to feeling normal again. I held his face against my chest and cried he asked what was wrong but I didn’t answer. I don’t want him to know what is going on.. right now I always feel off talking to him and I don’t want to do anything romantic with him… I have moments I can talk and feel happy saying I love you but most of the time I am stuck believing I don’t…
I just don’t feel any attraction to the opposite sex anymore and now I’m convinced that I never have. Even tho I thought I had. I don’t understand. I’m now thinking that it was all forced or it was just anxiety or whatever like it was all fake. Idk what to think anymore
*ur thoughts are typically not an accurate representation of who u are !!* I messaged this to somebody on this app but a lot of people here should hear it too! TW!!!! rememver that “bad people” don’t ask themselves if they’re bad !! it’s just normal for them! that fact that you think your thoughts are scary prove that you ARENT a bad persons. there’s a big different between fantasies and intrusive thoughts. real p*dophiles and m*derers don’t think they’re thoughts are bad and don’t feel scared when they have them!! they’re GOOD to them! although you feel scared you might like them, the fact that you’re SCARED or anxious is what separates it from a fantasy! you’re not a bad person and there’s plenty of people who have the same anxieties and fears as you and we’re not bad people either. your fear is a reflection of what you ARENT. your brain thinks of the worst and scariest scenario and puts that in your head, your thoughts are UNWANTED. also remember that excitement and anxiety feel EXTREMELY physically similar. when you’re scared your heart races but when you’re excited and happy your heart ALSO races. just because you feel something doesn’t mean you like it— it means the exact opposite! you know you’re self and you know you’re clearly uncomfortable, proving these are unwanted feelings and thoughts. OCD is scary but your thoughts are a reflection of who are ARENT!!!
how can i convince myself that the thoughts arent real? when i first had the thought pop up that i was gay and not straight, i freaked the FUCK out. i still do, but its just not as terrible as it used to be. if im scared of being gay does that mean im in denial or i just dont want to be gay because thats not me? im not homophobic whatsoever but i just cant picture myself liking or being with girls. i used to watch lesbian pxrn as well forever ago and never had this issue but now its randomly came up. ive always knew i was straight and never had attraction towards women but now its just all gone to shit
Books to read on Nutritional Psychiatry Brain Changer: How diet can save your mental health – cutting-edge science from an expert https://www.amazon.in/dp/B07T1NYS6G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_7V55NFCTK00RG3ZRV3EX Eat to Beat Depression and Anxiety: Nourish Your Way to Better Mental Health in Six Weeks https://www.amazon.in/dp/B08B67QF6D/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_04XBVA03XM3ASW77C9SH This Is Your Brain on Food: An Indispensable Guide to the Surprising Foods that Fight Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and More https://www.amazon.in/dp/0316536822/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_WZ2HMQEY2CF5YV7C9NPW
Does anyone else ever get a feeling that comes with a thought that feels like you are agreeing with your thought unintentionally and it bothers you? This sucks right now. Idk what to do about that.
I havent been obsessing lately and now im really upset because I keep feeling like I dont love my boyfriend and it feels really true :( I've been spending more time alone lately and I dont get as excited to see him as I usually would. I mean what if I dont actually love him? I just feel numb lately :( I keep thinking we won't work out since sometimes we don't really text. I really want to be with him and I really want it to work out. I'm worried im not attracted to him either
I’m watching a romantic comedy and I kept getting intrusive thoughts of “you had feelings for your friends”... 😞😞😞
Albert Ellis “how to be a perfect non perfectionist” on YouTube is amazing! Highly recommend
When i start wondering wether i like or enjoy the thoughts, is it good to just tell yourself i do enjoy the thoughts? Like doing the oposite?
Today's Resources Understanding Contamination OCD in All Its Forms https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-anxious-mind/202201/understanding-contamination-ocd-in-all-its-forms Robert Fox: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) view of OCD https://youtu.be/lZ89vgXt-_U How Does Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Looks Like In Kids And How To Treat It https://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2022/01/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-kids-mental-health-treatment/amp/
Is it possible for you to get a memory and think it might have been real and then realize you don't think it happened that way but then get scared that it has to be real because at first it seemed like it was real?
Has anyone ever been in a situation where someone has made a joke but it was about your theme? I’m having a hard time not going down the rabbit hole of, “why would they say that to me if it wasn’t a sign or something?” Like why did I have to hear that?! How do you deal with that type of situation?
Is it normal to feel kinda out of it when you’re in ur head 24/7? Like a foggy brain and derealization? Everything around you just seems off?
I'm too scared to start meds because of sides effects and the fact that most people experience a relapse after a couple months of stopping.... Your brain literally comes back to what you were before the meds so what's the point? More than 50% who start SSRIs need to keep taking them forever. Has anyone recovered without meds? Or natural remedies? I believe in science and doctors, but the risks are wayyyy too scary.
Trigger! Major harm ocd trigger. Does anyone else deal with false memories that happen right away? For example I’ll tell my mom goodnight then suddenly picture that I’ve killed her. I can see all the details and feel what it felt like. I freak out and run in her room to find her sound asleep totally fine. Am I just loosing my mind? I think my mom is getting tired of me waking her up at night but it feels morally wrong to resist the compulsion to check.
genuine question on intrusive thoughts..? like i can see someone with harm ocd having thoughts like i want to stab someone and obviously that’s intrusive. but my thoughts aren’t like that. currently fixating on my ex while i’m in a different relationship with a man i love. the thoughts i have are random and somehow connected to my ex like reminders or associating everything with him. are those still intrusive thoughts? genuinely asking because i’m confused. would appreciate any feedback and the thoughts make me very anxious and i don’t want them but they’re not typical “intrusive thoughts”
incest ocd tw it really feels like i’m attracted to my uncle and it’s so distressing. i’ve never been super close with him but never thought anything much of him. then on christmas day we called him and i really liked his voice (it’s quite low) and since then i’ve been scared i’m attracted to his voice and, by proxy, him. i’m meant to be visiting him this summer but i’m terrified. it feels like it’s 10% real.