Been doing amazing recently, having a few bad days, eating a gluten free diet seemed to be helping, so I’m going to try that instead of eating lots of unhealthy bad foods. Intense violent / weird intrusive thoughts and high anxiety 😒
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
i’m so stuck in my head it’s like there’s no way out
Man, it sucks to have OCD lol. I can’t even play a game or watch TV or anything without the thoughts being present. The moment I start to forget about them it pops back in to remind me that I can’t have peace. It’s like my mind isn’t capable of not constantly racing. I envy people that can just direct their attention to one thing without having intrusive thoughts constantly in the back of their mind like “hey buddy, here’s this extremely distressing idea that I want you to spend every waking moment over analyzing and convincing yourself is true! Have fun!”
THE TRUTH ABOUT OCD and the world in general: Something i noticed with ocd is that it relies excessively in black and white thinking when it comes to the specific obsession you have (for example: If i touch this I'll get germs,only if i don't touch it I won't or if i have this thought I'm a pedophile, you can't have this thought pass through your mind and not be or if i fail I'm a failure for life e.t.c) People get attached to specific labels and causes of things and that's self destructive. Main reason why when you get an intrusive thought you should let it pass, you shouldn't disagree but you also SHOULDN'T AGREE with it unlike the popular belief that "agreeing" will help you let it go. This thought is desperately trying to LABEL you as "bad" which in turn makes you desperately try to label yourself as the opposite of it. Do not add commentary to the thought, do not search your brain for answers about whether it's true or not, do not check whether you did something or not. Let it go, no matter how painful, DO NOT force yourself to stop thinking about it or to forget about it. Just let it appear without touching the subject. After all, there is only one absolute truth in this word and that is that existence is constantly shapeshifting, it's not stable, it's neither black nor white. It's gray.
I will not be checking replies but I wanted to offer advice that has helped me tremendously: OCD is rooted in internalized low self-esteem. Therefore, you need to externalize positivity to counteract the negativity and internalize that instead. So in other words, you need to commit to habits and activities that make you feel good about yourself. The biggest one that you can do right away is set a consistent regulatory schedule for your screen-time. Pick a time that you want to fall asleep. Then put all devices that emit blue-light away at least an hour beforehand. For me 90 minutes works. In that time, try reading a book for at least an hour and then meditating for somewhere between 10 and 30 minutes. Then go to sleep. Set an alarm and get up at the same time every day. Go to the gym and work out. If you don’t work out, start. Also take a walk every day and set aside time to work on school work without distractions. You will feel better in no time. I felt like shit just ten days ago but now I feel better than ever. Good luck.
I’m really struggling with health ocd. I I have pelvic floor dysfunction. I obsess over my pelvic floor and what could or may happen to my pelvic floor. I deal with the what ifs constantly. Google is my biggest enemy. I can spend two or three hours at a time researching and googling symptoms, causes and prognosis for my pelvic floor problems.I also obsess over bodily sensations , especially on my pelvic floor. I freak out if something feels “different”. I call my doctors and schedule appointments constantly and I’ve been to the emergency room four times in four months. I’m a disaster and my life has been stolen by ocd.
Are there any supplements that work as well or almost as well as SSRI’s for OCD? I think I need some extra help, but I don’t want to take SSRI’s due to the commitment and side effects.
I was on my way to the train station and someone stopped me because they needed help looking for something. I didn't want to say no because I didn't want to come off as rude to that person. They needed help lifting a cart up the stairs so I helped them. But they also didn't have any money to get past the fee to ride the Subway. I paid but she kept talking to get my attention. This time I got really stuck on what to do because something told me I wasn't supposed to open the door that is push only. But I did it anyway because I didn't want to seem rude or like a bad person for rejecting a Samaritan in need. This one event has given me the most anxiety and it's still messing with me to the point where I'm tearing up. I feel like I just committed a crime by helping that person. I feel like I did something terrible. I wouldn't normally do that myself if I were alone but at the same time that person needed my help and I just wanted to do something good and helpful for someone for a change. I just can't get over it. I can't calm down. I can't shake it off and just move on like most other people would. I'm just left with heavy anxiety and overthinking. I guess what I'm supposed to do is not get anyone to tell me that this is not a bad thing or that I'm fine, but instead to just sit there and let it bother me. This feels terrible. I feel like a criminal.
I just wanna stop thinking and have peace for 5 minutes. My brain has been constantly making me overthink. I can’t even do other things because the thoughts are always present. It really really sucks. Sorry if I’m posting a lot on this app, I’m just so tired and I have nowhere else to express this.
I am on a writing subreddit and there was a thread about Specific Knowledge that may be useful for authors and I offered my expertise on OCD since I've had it for 17 years now (8 months recovery friends!) and not only were people interested (and not judgy about the taboo themes!) I got an AWARD!!! I LOVE people <3
My ROCD never felt this way… bc before I was still able to show love to my partner… now that it’s gotten to this point I don’t showing loving actions as much as I use to when my trigger happened. I’ve been dealing with ROCD for a long time. This isn’t my first trigger but never did I feel the way I do now. It’s like I’m no longer interested in my partner anymore….
Can anyone help me with this? It doesn't really matter in what kind of relationship I am, friends family, partners, its all the same, except that with partners it's worse. It's over analysing everything that happens. It's when I send my partner a heart and he doesn't send it back. But when we're together I know he's like the most affectionate person I know. I'm just constantly doubting whether he still likes me or not. It's like with everything that happens my OCD tries to find something that makes me doubt his feelings for me. It's terrifying because I don't want to lose him but I know that if I keep doubting like this and if he notices that I'll push him away. I keep a lot of this to myself and I only share it with my family and they say the same thing. That I have to start trusting in him and that I have to let it go. But its so scary, I'm not gonna obsessively text him, or constantly ask for reassurance, because this is a me problem and not his. But I need some help, how do you guys do this? How do you ignore the doubts? How do you find the difference between a gut feeling that something it actually wrong and an OCD feeling that's just there to make you think that something is wrong?
Has anyone else felt this like slight calmness.. like no anxiety or barely none. But maybe a lil too calm. Probably cause im used to being in a constant anxious mind, but I was calm but at times didn’t have a reaction or feeling towards my partner.. and it scared and worried me.. makes me feel like this is my truth.. and now I made myself anxious again…
Can it take years to fall in love? Is it ok if I know I like my partner but it's harder to feel deeply connected? I hear people say " I wanted to love you but I couldn't" and I don't get that. I'm at a point where I feel so emotionless I feel that I don't care if we break up but I do. I constantly feel intrusive thoughts but my emotional exhaustion results in me having no reaction anymore and that scares me. I always question my partners feeling for me and mine for him, his morality, compare his looks. I feel sh*tty for doing so :/ I'm really panicking and feel discomforted that I don't react anymore.
I pushed away a guy friend because I started worrying I liked him and I didn’t want to do that to my boyfriend but now that I’m not talking to him I can tell I really don’t like him at all. He’s just my close friend and now I feel sad because I don’t have many friends and I ate lunch alone today. I don’t have a control on my ocd anymore like I can’t tell what parts of my life it’s influencing and whether or not my negative feelings are real or just ocd. I don’t feel like I have a personality, attraction, love, I don’t feel like I have the ability to be selfless anymore or do the right thing. I miss my friend a lot. I’m such a messed up person now 😞
I hate myself with a passion. I don’t know if it’s OCD or if I should really be worried but I feel like I deserve to give up and that I need to punish myself by not receiving care or love from family and friends and that I don’t deserve food or like I said to even live. I feel so dark and scared. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My therapist says it’s rumination but I think it’s more than that. She also said that I don’t need to figure it out either but I feel like I have to otherwise I’m never gonna know if I should hate myself or not but I feel like I do.
I just saw this thing abt a 22yr old woman “trapped” in an 8yr olds body... like literally she has lived 22yrs, if you look it up you’ll see what I mean, but my brains like “oh so see she’s legal! Like you wouldn’t get in any trouble.” And.. I hate that. Bc she is an adult and I don’t want to be disrespectful towards her. But I also don’t want to be attracted to her. It makes no sense tho bc I’m not even attracted to women, so wth. This is so anxiety causing, and I feel bad for having anxiety abt that woman. Omg
To those with derealization, any tips? I think I experience it kinda
Thoughts are powerful but they are pointless
Diary 8/02/22 You know, for me, that September 7 OCD episode, became an indelible mark for pocd. A misunderstanding that I can't erase, an irreversible mistake, a false accusation. It was the pinnacle of everything I feared. The permament confirmation of pocd. If before that day it was all mental and I was able to ignore the thoughts, if before that day it was still a hypothesis and something that I could bear alone and in silence, now it's all "real." All these doubts, these fears that are typical of POCD started happening only after that day, before then I was just doing fine, I knew that I had pocd but it was just a mild inconvience for me, it was not as strong and stressful as now. I didn't really want to admit to have this type of ocd, because it frightened me, it disgusted me, but I had to confirm its existence out of necessity. (If everything that I'm feeling it's not ocd, I might just end my life). I had to etiquet myself with pocd since that day, and it still makes me feel disgusting and anxious. I hate that I have pocd. I hate that it's called "pocd". I hate that it has became a reality for me. The theme itself is horrifying, if other themes could still be somehow understood by people, this feels unforgivable, I feel like it's a guilt itself to have it. If that day never happened, I'd be in a far better condition with OCD. I would have never touched this low. I assumed that this kind of suffering was only reserved for "others", to the unlucky ones, that I would be excluded by this kind of pain. Just like when you see people in the media suffering from cancer, or other incurable diseases and you're almost egotistical in your gratitude that it's not you. You don't worry about it because the chances of it happening to you, your family, or your friends are extremely slim, and you move on not shortlu after. Because you're aware that there's some distance between you and that dreadful thing. But now that I've experienced what it's like to be on the other side, I have a new level of empathy and understanding that I didn't have before, and in a strange way, I'm grateful for it. "This is what had to happen to us". Just like others have to struggle with different issues, we have to deal with OCD. "A tree with deep roots, is not shaken by the wind, has beautiful flowers, and bears many fruits." And just like that, our roots grow deeper in the dark, ready to withstand any other struggle because we have already been through it. And because we know how it feels to be on the other side, we develop a new level of empathy and sensibility necessary to understand those who are on our same destructive paths, we also develop this new "yearning" to help others. (at least that's been my case, after all the bullshit that OCD has been putting me through I've decided that I'm gonna work on the mental health field, as a psychiatrist or a psychologist, to be the mentor I wish I had when shit was tough) Also I just want to say that all the people I've met here who have OCD have been the nicest people I've ever met. To be completely honest, I don't really know the answer to all of this, normally I'd say that all of us are just born unlucky, but I guess I wanted this to end with a hopeful note.
Hey guys hope you’re all doing okay . Just wanted to come on here and say I’ve just opened up more about my ocd to my mother . She was being dissmisive entire time I tried talking to her . So then, I lost my temper and yelled out intrude ocd thoughts I’ve had in past . POCD , harm OCD....she didn’t take it well. Completely misunderstood me and in fact asked if that’s what I like and I got so angry . So now I’m sitting here thinking she actually believes what I told her is true. she told me to go away and ignored me .
I'm crying right now and I really need some help, one of my intrusive thoughts has always been "what if you're with him just because he's cute and not because you really love him?", and thinking about that always hurt me a lot, even though I knew it wasn't true, and today my boyfriend cut his hair and the only thing I can think about is if I'm with him just for his looks or not, even if he's still beautiful with his hair the way he is now, I'm I feel like a horrible person, and I can't stop thinking about him, like my mind is trying to make me think he's ugly even though I don't, and it feels very real, and at the same time stupid, I don't know if that's normal or what to do I'm really bad I just want to cry, I'm a terrible person.
I'm so certain I hurt someone I care about horribly in the past. I have vivid memories. They always tell me and everyone who asks when I confess that I've never hurt them, but im constantly hyperaware of anything that could be a sign and expect to arrested every second of the day, and fear that I've ruined my family
Does anyone else struggle with intrusive thoughts about their ex? It’s caused me to question my current relationship bc i can’t get my stupid ex out of my mind. It’s making me feel like i shouldn’t be with my current boyfriend especially if my ex keeps popping into my head. I feel so bad bc it wasnt always that bad. I used to be able to control them bc i loved my bf so much but now it’s making me question everything. I keep telling myself “he’s your ex for a reason” but my mind hasn’t ever allowed me to fully get rid of the thoughts of him completely. I feel like I’m stuck in the past. I guess bc our bond was so strong but it just didn’t workout in the end. I wish i knew how to get rid of the them all together so it won’t continue to ruin my relationship with my current boyfriend. He is so amazing and i don’t want to lose him to the thoughts. I chose him over my ex when he tried getting back together with me for a reason. I need help 😞
Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true no matter how real it feels.
I think I've cracked the code to where my OCD comes from: It all began with early exposure to pornography. For so long I've beaten myself up for making mistakes with that kind of content, but I also forget I was only a 13 year old child when it began with no outside guidance to correct my perspective in such a position. Can anyone relate? How do you forgive yourself 100% for this? How do you go on? I want to start a dialogue for something like this. Something that helps people learn sex education the right away instead of all of the toxic ways our culture seems to show.
I’m in a weird place right now. I must’ve gotten too overwhelmed by my OCD to handle because now I’m not really feeling much of anything. My intrusive thoughts are there but nothings happening. It’s not quite full on depersonalization yet though, it’s just more like I’m unable to distinguish what I’m actually feeling. Anyone else ever experienced this?
OCD is so toxic
Anyone else feel like ocd is ruining theur grades etc
My ocd has always been active in my life, constant worry and obsessing and checking compulsions and I mean about literally everything. Before I didn’t know it was ocd I just thought to myself that I’m Just a super worrier lol I thought it was normal to just worry and expect the worse. My brain literally expects the worse and I’m so negative, hardly positive about situations I always feel something is going to go wrong and I feel like I have to check certain things to make sure I didn’t mess up or cause harm and if I think positive that the bad thing will happen. I didn’t know I had ocd until I had sexual orientation doubts even tho knew I was straight and comfortable with that, I completely felt the horrible feeling after one thought… what if I was gay. I remember the time and place when I had that thought and my life changed after that, for two years I struggled with trying to figure what was going on, constant anxiety doubt and unwanted feelings. Starting to believe I was gay even tho I told myself if I was gay I’d be gay but I’m not, just didn’t even make sense to my brain, literally nothing did. I’m not the manliest man either so anything that I did that was considered Feminine killed me. I was so tangled in this that when my friends joked about gay stuff I felt like I was dying. Even if someone said “your gay” as a joke I think to myself “oh see, they see it and your just in denial” it got so bad I broke down a few times and consider ending it but I got the hope to keep going and found out about ocd and I didn’t get help right then I just lived with the uncertainty and I did my absolute best to just trust myself and I don’t remember when exactly but I felt better I got a grip on myself and gay stuff didn’t bother me none I even laugh at it now because it was so silly but it almost killed me. Unfortunately Ocd just doesn’t go away and I’m now dealing with a heavy set of ocd. And knowing you have ocd, that will become a doubt, so even tho I have some tools on how to tackle this, ocd will find a way to fight hard. Im here now to get the help I’ve always needed because when Ocd came back I had a feeling it was Ocd but the doubt will make you give in and try to fight with your thoughts. Trying to gain certainty will make you less certain. My ocd topic this time revolves around harm. And ocd will attack you where it gonna hurt the most, you will doubt everything. Thanks to NOCD I’m able to finally get the right help I need to really put my foot down on ocd.
I made my partner feel useless he says he doesn’t feel like he’s trying hard enough and that it feels like it will never be enough… I told him there was a lot of things that I will worried about and I told him I needed more help.. he told me he just feels like he is holding me back from an easier life. That I would be better off without him… I couldn’t even react bc I was so drained emotionally… He told me why didn’t you tell me that’s things sooner!?! I told him it was my an issue until we moved into my sister’s house which they won’t be here until next month now which means no fridge… we have a mini one but it doesn’t have a freezer… I told my partner I am just drained and just want things to be less stressful My family always bothers me for rides and that I only feel they let us move here bc I have a car… I told him I wish the car would break down so I can just be left alone… no one will help me if my car breaks down. No one will give me leeway on rent. But they constantly ask for rides and my car is showing wear and tare.. I told him I don’t wanna be responsible anymore I told him everyone tells me to relax but how can I with all this stress.. I know when my ROCD was bad it blamed him for everything and not everything is his fault… I dropped him off at work crying my eyes out saying I really do love you you know! I couldn’t stop crying. He was scared about me driving back home and begged me to calm down before I started driving I started crying too saying I hate working 8 hours everyday… 5 days a week that I just want a break… even on my days off I am always doing things for people… it’s not fair that everyone gets to relax but me…. I even kissed him and felt like I didn’t like it anymore… One day earlier this week he comforted me and I felt so happy after and knew I loved him. I even went to work happy and bought him a card and gift. I could be happy saying I know I love him. Work things triggered me and when my partner wanted sex it triggered me… Haven’t been happy since…. I need help but it doesn’t feel like I need it when I clearly do… when I describe things to someone it’s like the symptoms disappear… I’ve been obsessing so much about if I love him or if I want to be with him I got too use to it… I do want my partner to work on his issues bc he needs too. I know I do too..
Please tell me anyone has done this, when i was younger I used to act on ”harmless” intrusive thoughts and this makes me think I’m more likely to act on my k*lling thoughts today bc I already acted on harmless ones in the past, trying not to have a panic attack right now 😢 i know this is reassurance seeking but i just have to know
TW TW: SOCD:::: Does anyone have intrusive thoughts without the anxiety. Like the intrusive thoughts turn comforting? At first I’ll begin with an obsession about giving myself an autopsy and obsess over visuals and senses. (I tried to use the potentially least triggering obsession I’ve had for a reason) I’ll feel ashamed and alone and anxious. It will consume my life causing me to space out during classes or work to think of these obsessions. When I come back to reality, I always got super anxious that someone could read my thoughts or somehow someone would figure out what i was thinking about. After a while, the obsession turns from anxiety provoking to comforting. Like when I am stressed out from life I turn to these obsessions to feel comfort. Does anyone else feel this way?
Does anyone ever have thoughts that aren’t even complete? It’s like almost an intrusive thought but your mind doesn’t fully go there or doesn’t even comprehend what the thought actually is.. but it’s still disturbing and feels wrong and scary ?
Started medication for OCD, and now I’m panicking about not panicking. This may sound weird but since I’ve started taking lexapro and it’s beginning to set into my system and in I’ve actually become more stressed. I struggle with OCD and frequently have obsessive intrusive thoughts. Usually when I have these thoughts I’m immediately hit with panic. But since taking lexapro when the thoughts pop in I don’t feel immediately anxious as I usually would. Now that sounds like a good thing but it’s led to a new intrusive panic. Since I’m not immediately panicking about these thoughts my brain has started thinking things like “what if me not panicking means those thoughts are true?” It’s led to me hyper-analyzing these thoughts and looking for meaning. Has anyone else who started taking medication to treat their ocd (or even without medication) experienced this and If so how do you find it best to handle it?
I've had to delete all of my social media apps because I couldn't go to sleep each night without checking my stories and accounts several times to make sure i hadn't posted or said anything inappropriate. I feel relief that it's not something I have to check or worry about anymore. But i feel like it's made me more lonely and disconnected from my peers, and I feel like people might forget me. I have kept apps without story options to keep in touch with close friends and family. But the amount of interaction with people has gotten so much smaller.
i need help please I will start therapy to find out if i really have ocd or not and despite having all the symptoms of relationship ocd and being sure i have ocd i am very scared that at the end of it all i dont end being diagnosed with this, and that i dont really have ocd, i'm crying literally all day for fear of finding out i don't have ocd, what if i really don't have? So does that mean all those bad thoughts and feelings were really what I wanted? So I'm really going to have to break up with my boyfriend who is the person I love the most in the world? I'm very scared and crying a lot, even thinking about giving up therapy for fear of not having real OCD, or the therapist not understanding me properly, i dont know what to do, has anyone gone through this too?
I have OCD where my thoughts mostly revolve around loss of control. Like I'm worried ill lose my mind. Lately the thoughts are more loss of cognitive function where I'll eventually develop dementia. I actually feel like my memory isn't as good as it once was or my recall isn't as sharp anymore. I cant figure out if this is really happening, OCD is playing with my mind, or my mind is literally so exhausted from all this worrying that it really is experiencing some brain fog. Anyone else have any experience this this type of thing?
I’m really worried. This past month instead of feeling scared and doing my endless compulsions I’ve just felt completely numb to my long-distance boyfriend. It’s like I don’t care about him or like I’m not attracted to him at all anymore. A month ago he said it was okay if we stopped doing intimate things over the phone because it makes me so anxious and now I haven’t wanted to at all. It’s not that I don’t love him or want to do stuff, it’s just that I spend all of it testing my attraction to him and it takes out any pleasure. Also sometimes in the past when I’d look at him I’d “force” myself to feel attraction but it’s not that I’m not attracted to him, I just don’t get aroused just looking at him. Well I can sometimes if he’s doing things for me I actually like that but not a lot because of my intrusive. Now it’s been a month where I look at him and don’t feel anything and I’m so scared. I also don’t feel desperate to do my compulsions to make sure I still love him. In fact, I’m exhausted from them and want nothing to do with the anxiety so I feel like I’m just talking to a friend but that still terrifies me because I still very very badly want to be romantically and sexually attracted to him. But I know that the more I chase it the more anxiety it’ll bring so instead I just let myself be numb to him and it’s scary because I don’t want to be numb. I’m also noticing every single guy and wanting that attention but I don’t want anything romantic or sexual, I just struggle with male validation and I want to be seen and heard because I feel so alone right now. I feel so guilty for feeling that way but most of all the reason I feel so far away from my boyfriend is because I feel like my thoughts make me so worthless of him. I feel like I don’t deserve him and that my thoughts aren’t his problem and he should be with someone who can be happy with him without being afraid. I feel like all I do is hurt him and I feel so scared and worried that I’m not sexually attracted to him or that I’m forcing it because I don’t get instantly aroused looking at him and because I have anxiety around sex that makes it hard for me to enjoy it. I feel guilty that I can’t enjoy our happy moments or be present in our relationship and it makes me so numb to him and that’s what causes me so much pain that I feel shut off. Because I want to love him and be with him, I want to be confident in my attraction to him and I want to see him and just have that feeling of rightness. I’m also getting ready to go to college and I’m becoming more independent and it makes me feel guilty too like im moving on without him but I don’t want to. Is this part of rocd and soocd as well? This horrible numbness ?
it's hard to trust my old self when the memory felt so real when i was on crisis. and trying to use logic don't solve anything, so i'm trying to remember to say "maybe i did, maybe i didn't. i lived almost 3 years without thinking about it, i don't need to solve it now"
There will come a time where uncertainty feels like relief rather than a threat. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” - Viktor Frankl Change our response. To everyone suffering with real event rn.
I am so sick of OCD, it’s truly insatiable. I’m so tired of listening to it and assuming everything it’s saying is true just because it’s always got a what if ready to counter whatever I’m telling it. I just want to stand up for myself and I’m tired of something like that feeling so dangerous, feeling so bad.
just want to feel in love with my person like before
Has anyone had relationship doubts but subconsciously? And you only had them when you thought about your partner but you weren’t like ruminating on it. Is that even ocd or just doubting? It’s not, like, active anxiety. Just this feeling of it being off and not totally what I want. Like i have this fantasy idea of what i want. But then I get sad and scared that I feel that way. And I convince myself I have to break up with him even though I don’t want to. But again, it’s not like this active questioning or anxiety. Just kinda subconsciously there and not hitting me in the face. Just lightly telling me to end it.
Why does it feel like I don’t like him and then also feel at times like I do and/or that I want people to convince me that I do. When I don’t feel the sparks and crazy desire I just am left feeling like I’m forcing it and that’s frustrating and scary :(
Does anyone else feel as if he would never feel fulfilled until he does what the “OCD fear” is? Example: ROCD - leaving your partner SOOCD - accepting being gay/ hetero etc.
this is a long story but basically we had some crazy neighbors calling the cops on us for stepping on or dropping basketballs onto their lawn, and eventually installing cameras that recorded us on our own property. they were obsessed. we eventually went to court with them over our basketball hoop (we lived there first) being 1/4 an inch over their property line, so they sued us. these were the meanest and most nastiest people i’ve ever met. one day, while my 12 year old brother and his friend were playing basketball, the dad living there at the time came outside and cussed them out, and allegedly said some racist things to my brothers friend, who was black. in a moment of anger that day, at 17 years old, i flipped of the camera and told them to kill themselves. i can’t believe i said that, and now i’m convinced i’m going to go to jail, even though it’s been two years and they’ve since moved away. i’m obsessing over this fact and need some help, but the situation needed some context first. plz help me, is this ocd or do i deserve to feel guilty?
So, I am concerned about one of my thoughts lately about whether or not I really have OCD. Is it possible to have a moderate or minor case of OCD? One of my reoccurring thoughts are "I don't have thoughts like that,I must not have OCD." Or "My intrusive thoughts aren't that upsetting today, I must not have OCD. I must be making it all up." And I'll feel so certain one day and then have a ton of doubt the next. Does anyone else experience this? How best do you combat this fear? I have just started ERP so be sure to let me know if this is reassurance seeking or not. (I myself am definitely not sure).
Panicking again. I was standing in the kitchen and was thinking about my crush and what happened today and there might be hope then I had the idea to look at my mom's back (butt) I'm not sure if my crush was also involved in the intrusive thought because that's a theme I always have. Then I looked at her back! Now I'm disgusted she's my own mother! And when I was typing this I think I saw the word I wrote but and I feel like I smiled but I'm not sure. I'm so disgusted I feel as if I'm a horrible person.
I’m not sure if I have OCD but I thought I’d share some of my symptoms and see if anyone can relate. I’m 20 years old and I’ve been experiencing all of these things for as long as I can remember. Over the years they’ve become less severe and more manageable. I have a big issue with textures and the way things feel on my body like if I could feel the seem of my sock on my toes or not being able to sleep because I could feel a wrinkle in my sheets. I’ve also always struggled with feeling like I’m unable to breathe, like I can’t get a full breathe, which I’ve now realized is anxiety. I also will think if I don’t do “blank” something bad is going to happen so I’ll have to do whatever it is, this one specifically has gotten way more manageable over the years. I also have a really bad habit of picking my fingers until they bleed I think it’s because if I see a hangnail I feel like I have to fix it for whatever reason even I know I’m making it worse and it’s painful my brain tells me it’s fixing it
Does anyone else feel like things are stopping triggering you, but the intrusive thoughts are still there? lately i started noticing that some things are no longer triggering me and now i can't stop wondering if that means i don't really have ocd, in my brain that makes sense but idk why, can someone help?
So I think my boyfriend has an issue with extreme gaming that it's affecting him. I don't know if this is my OCD telling me this but I feel like I want to tell him and I even looked up a recovery treatment for obsessive gaming. I don't know if that's too much.
i wish i could stop taking the ocd feelings and thoughts seriously. those random time when i break free and find it all stupid and feel like myself and good again i promise when it comes back i won’t even react but i always do it’s the worst
I find it helpful to know that most people have questioned or thought about their sexuality in some regards. I used to think that just the question means your sexuality is set but there’s so much about what you want and how you want to live that goes into sexuality and i find that so helpful! For a long time I thought it was like I’m doomed to be gay even though I didn’t feel like that’s who I am or want to be and felt powerless but now I feel like I’m finally understanding that orientation is fluid and you do have some choice in how you want to live. If I don’t want to have sex with a woman then why am I forcing that on myself?
A few years ago I had a thought that I would rape my friends dad who passed away when we were really young. I've felt like a horrible person ever since and have not felt like myself in what seems like forever. I feel the need to tell this friend of mine out of the feeling of its the right thing to do. I feel like all the tools i've learned in therapy will only help with future obsessions, and not this one since it's already been in my brain for years. infact everything i have learned is not helping with this obsession. has anyone felt like this recently?
Keep staying strong and fighting. We may fall but we get back up and make it to that damn mountain top!
Rocd is the worst Like I was just eating my dinner and the feeling of not loving bf anymore or not wanting to be with him came in hard out of nowhere. And it feels so real sometime I think is it ocd?
I just wanna be a normal college student but I can’t be because I have horrible ocd and most of the time it feels as if I’m just my fear and nothing else and im scared I’ll never be happy cause it directly affects things that I was planning for in the future and im not sure if my dreams will come true now. I don’t understand what I did to deserve this. I feel like my life is over and im only 18
im still thinking im in denial sometimes but im feeling do much better thanks for helping me feel less alone ❤️
I just wanted to say, I was feeling at my worst a few weeks ago. Started erp and I am already feeling better . I thought my life was over a few weeks ago. I’m back to myself again. The thoughts are stil there. The one thing that really helped me was not ruminating over the thoughts. Just don’t pay attention to them . Let them be there but don’t answer any questions ocd asks. Just say I’m done who cares. It’s going to be okay guys. Hang in there I believe in all of you. I wish I could take everyone’s ocd away I want everyone to be happy. I hope you all have a good day/night.
ocd is like a fun mystery box from amazon. i feel like a silly little clown pulling out more subtypes of ocd from my hat. “hm, i wonder which obsession i will latch onto today!” i announce triumphantly, “what will my compulsion be this time? find out after this commercial break!”
Do u ever just get so engrossed in ur tocd that u give up almost and let it become u almost like u just give up and settle on something that doesn’t bother by as much but still bothers u like becoming non-binary or something but u hate that too it just doesn’t scared u as much even tho u don’t consider urself that u still consider urself ur own gender
What do you do when you just can’t take it anymore? Triggers are everywhere!
I’m scared I’ll change too much during college (which is soon) or that I’ll break up with my sweet boyfriend. Our relationship already has it’s own unique challenges due to long distance. What has your experience been like for those of you with rocd and soocd in college ?
Can anyone here recommend a good NOCD Catholic therapist?
hi guys, im new here and struggle with relationship ocd. i have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and this is the best relationship i have ever had. my ocd started about 6 months into our relationship when i went to visit her at university one night - i stayed the night and remember not being able to sleep from suddenly looking over at her and feeling nothing. i went outside to my car to call my mom because i didnt know what was happening. since then, i have been living in a cycle of reassurance seeking until i finally admitted i had a struggle and got help. i have not seen my therapist in months due to the cost, but i have been feeling anxious non-stop for the last couple of months. everything we do together, i spend more time proof reading every last detail to see if im still in love with her. it gets to the point where i just come to terms with the fact that im not into it anymore, but when i try to find the reasons why, there are none. she is my best friend and makes me happy, she gives me more then i could. ever ask for and i love making her happy, i just cant enjoy time with her without trying to find every reason why she might not be perfect. i compare her to other girls/relationships, check my feelings 24/7 and cant help myself. its lime i need to get to the bottom of this. i want to feel normal so badly and enjoy life with her but cannot without my stupid ocd brain getting in the way. it feels like im constantly living half in/half out with her (emotionally). does anyone have any advice or can relate to this? please reply. thanks for reading.
I’m at the very beginning of my journey. I never knew i could relate to something so much after learning about ocd. In my case, one of the main ones i struggle with is ROCD. I’ve done so much thinking and checking my feelings that I’m starting to wonder if this is ROCD or not. Is it normal to question that? I’m just so tired of feeling this horrifying amount of anxiety. It becomes so much worse when my partner is away and i never imagined to feel this way towards him. I can’t believe this is my reality right now. It’s so hard to the point where i just want to break up and leave everything behind but deep down i know that will only hurt me so much worse. I just want to be better.
We’re having our ‘white wedding’ this coming Saturday. We’ve been married for 2 years already and he is the most amazing man in the world. My thoughts have been spiralling this week and I’m now at a point where I feel nothing. I’m so tired of this.. I know I love him with all my heart. It’s not fair that anyone of us have to live this way. No one should have to endure this. It’s been 5 years and I know I’m better than I was before but I wish it would all go away. I don’t want to live like this anymore I just want a normal mind.
Does anyone else have a fear of losing control over their obsessions or urges, and one day going “insane” ie schizophrenia, psychosis. My fear is that if I do not consciously fight these scary thoughts or urges (violent/inappropriate) that it will open the door to losing touch with reality and lead me to insanity. I ask only to see if I am not alone with these worries and will take no solice in knowing other people are suffering. Just wanted to see if this fear is common amongst my peers! I have been reassured by my psychiatrist on multiple occasions I have no risk of slipping into madness, but the relief from this reassurance is short lived and leads me to this recurring obsession. I’m not aware of a subtype of these obsessions so if anyone has insight into that I’d appreciate that too. Thanks in advanced for all replies!
I‘m so tired of always scanning my acts, thoughts, fantasies, desires for malicious intent. I‘m so tired of knowing that when I‘ll go down that spiral staircase, I‘ll never leave empty-hand. I‘m so tired of dragging doom around like a ghost that will not leave. I‘m so tired of not knowing anymore how to let myself be. I‘m so jealous of past me, I‘m so jealous of my past OCD themes – until I realize it’s always been the same. My heart dropping me to the floor and me trying to pick it up again. Always dragging myself back into the loop somehow. But: not hating myself for it anymore. I often feel human again, and goodness seeps in. I faintly recall being completely alright. I sometimes am completely alright. I let unspeakable terrors pass. Sending love to you, I know this is unspeakably hard.
Every action that I do or every word that I say I think it's illegal(Even though I know that's not) or God becomes angry with me... This kind of thinking caused me to prefer not being around other people and I'm always alone😭
Anyone figure out yet whether relationship doubts are a result of true incompatibility and dissatisfaction with one’s partner versus ROCD? I always return to this question. Curious if anyones therapist has given them a solid explanation. Thanks!
Anyone feel like they see someone attractive who is not of their “normal” orientation and don’t know how to react now? Anxiety is there. But you don’t know if it’s denial or just HOCD. I see a girl (I am a straight male) and attraction feels normal but every once in a while I see a random guy who is attractive but I don’t know how to differentiate the two. The guy causes tons of anxiety and stress. I know I’m straight but my mind won’t let me accept that I am straight and makes me think I am attracted to the opposite of my orientation.
I'm not feeling so good right now. My mind is fueling my relationship with doubt, but I feel that my intrusive thoughts have really made me reach genuine doubt and that scares me. I don't know how to express that I know I am committed to my partner and our relationship, but I'm scared the way I feel will make me do something I'll regret. But worse, I'm scared of my feelings being true and I don't want them to be. I hear a lot of people say on social media "maybe you do care for your partner, just not in a romantic way" but I don't want it to not be in a romantic way. I feel very down and separated from any romantic connection. I don't know how to explain it.
Anyone else feel out of their mind? I feel uncomfortable in my head what feels like 24/7. I’m cloudy and feel negative about everything cause it’s like well I have ocd and I’m gonna have these thought constantly so it’s hard to focus and be happy. I don’t see a silver lining; it’s really tough. I don’t know what’s gonna really help me
Lately I’ve been experiencing feeling in the mood to have sex with my boyfriend and I joke about it when we begin our date, but as we are getting closer to the end of the date and when we’ll have sex I start to feel so anxious and worry I won’t like it and it obviously then spills over to not full enjoying it and being in the moment. Can anyone relate/have any advice to overcome this?
I didn’t realize my biggest compulsion was searching online for answers and reassurance about whatever my OCD was bothering me about until recently. I dissent know it was even classified as a compulsion and I have a very hard time not doing it when I’m having an OCD episode. I get very physically sick and can’t focus on anything until I search online for an answer and I know I’m not supposed to give in to compulsions but I’m not sure what to do. Today I have an episode and I tried not to give in to the compulsion, but I could refrain from it and I ended up spending over an hour on it. (I’ve spent even longer on compulsions in the past) what do you guys do when to prevent yourself from googling for answers and reassurance?