I’m about to go to sleep, and tomorrow’s Sunday, so here’s my weekly recap- I’m on my period right now, so my OCD is bad. Really bad. I had a mild episode, reminiscing about before my intrusive thoughts began. My mom told me how much better I am now though, and I got a mug cake :) I told some friends about HOCD. Very worried because one said I give off both gay and straight vibes. Triggered me badly, and am still not over that. Considering restarting a crush on a bi guy. Dunno how I feel about that. Super super worried that thoughts of being LGBTQ+ are becoming more realistic or comfortable. I would prefer to not be lesbian/bi/pan, as I do not feel that accurately reflects who I am. I had a really fun past couple days despite my thoughts, which have been at a high lately! Tomorrow is Sunday, so I’m going to pray a lot at church and overall just relax! Goodnight everyone! Let’s make this next week AWESOME!!!
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
I don’t think I have ROCD but since SOOCD happened to me, I sometimes have moments of anxiety with questions like “what if I’m not attracted to him when he comes back” or “what if I don’t really love him” and “what if I’m just with him so I don’t hurt him” and etc… any advice or tips about any of this? I really hate this because everything before this theme was so different 😣
I’m wondering if anyone else here is aromantic or asexual? I’m experiencing a weird kind of sexual orientation ocd I think
Do you guys know any youtubers that help with OCD? Not just the cleaning OCD, all the other subtypes too
Within a month I'm going to a psychiatrist to talk about OCD. (I'm not diagnosed yet) Do you guys have any advice on how to? Expecially on the taboo topics
Looking for recommendations of good podcasts related to OCD.
I’m battling HOCD + ROCD pretty intensely these last several weeks. My boyfriend and I are going to a live event tonight and I’m feeling anxious about being surrounded by triggers and potentially having a panic attack. Any advice on how to ensure this doesn’t happen and have a good time? Do I tell myself that maybe I will be triggered and that it’s okay? He said we can try selling the tickets but I understand that it’s avoidance if I give in to this and I really don’t want to do that. Thanks for any help! 🤗
I was diagnosed with OCD year back which is not a long time since realization of OCD came months later, I just realized that I have been creating these memories for months now that are false, and I am now struggling to know what part of my memory is real and what is false and I am so frustrated and ashamed.
Does anyone have Real Event OCD? And how do you manage it? Sometimes it feels like I'm checking my moral code (which should be normal) and sometimes I realise it's OCD. I just can't help but think I'm a bad person and now I think I'm starting to create false memories when mentally reviewing which worries me because I don't want to confess to things that haven't happened. Any advice or tips?
How has alcohol affected your ocd?
I’m so scared to go to bed. I feel really good right now and I have clarity, but I always feel terrible in the morning.
Sorry for back to back posts but these thoughts and intense rumination over these months have confused me about everything. Ive confused and tangled myself up so badly, would a therapist be able to untangle this mess that Ive created? I get so many strange questions in my head and I cant come up with any answers to them and I dont need reassurances but I need answers that will help me see clearly. Its so foggy up in my brain :/
HEATH OCD... Does anyone have tips for OCD that tells you your dyiny. I've been worry about my heart rate and my weight lately. I think everyday is my last day. Yet I keep waking up to this sad reality. Would be appreciated for any advice that can be given. God bless and hope y'all stay safe 🤟 -Liam
What are some fun things you guys do ? :) I need ideas 😁
I feel like I dont have a gender, yet I disguise myself as female. I don't think of myself as he, she, or any other pronouns. I kind of think of myself as an...it. I think of myself as an honest, as just pure matter floating in space. I just tell people I go as she/ so they aren't confused by whatever I have to say about this. I feel like it's hard to just tell them this. Not sure what to do but rn I'm fine with just disguising myself as female and ignoring any more thought about it
I have ocd and i was treated for hand washing and stuff but, i have started to notice intrusive thoughts of sexual images and things like that, i really don’t enjoy that and i’m not sure what to do about it. I thought my ocd had gone away but it just shifted to a new form. and these images are so random and not pleasurable at all, so now i am confusing attraction and intrusive thoughts and it’s really terrible
I’m so scared to enjoy the attractions to women, i don’t want them but i’m scared i do😭 And i don’t want to enjoy them but am so scared i do & am just repressing it & not allowing myself to enjoy them 😞 Like i feel like i could enjoy them if i allowed myself, but i dont wanna
Does anyone else experience having false memories that sometimes feel really really real? Like, about you doing something terrible that you never would do it, but what if? Like, why am I feeling bad just now and not since I did it? Was it real? Is the police coming after me? This guilty has been eating me up. I do need reassurance, but I can’t find any evidence that I didn’t do it. How do I defeat this?
does anyone else that gets sexual intrusive thoughts struggle to find people attractive? like i’ll look at someone and think they’re attractive but my OCD tells me it’s only bc i’m picturing them as someone inappropriate. :(
Can OCD urges feel like real desires? I really feel an urge/ desire and I don’t know if it’s OCD or the truth! It’s so horrible 😭
Hey there, I often seek reassurance through my partner after we have any slight disagreement or if I let my ocd get in the way of our relationship and cause issues... Often times, we will fight at night and then we are apart at work and I get urges to text him and apologize. I have not yet explained my ocd to my partner as I just realized that I have it a few months ago. We've been together for 2.5 years and we are in a serious relationship. I'm very comfortable with him but I just panic about the thought of telling him because I feel crazy. He has dealt with my meltdowns and he doesn't understand them, neither did I. I guess my question is, is this common? How do you handle the urge to speak reassurance? And how did you talk to your partner?
Do you guys think that leaving social media aside is good? some of my anxiety/panic attacks and intrusive thoughts happen because of triggers on twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc... there are also some things on social media that end up making my compulsions worse.
Why do tiktok videos have to be so damn triggering? I could be doing the best I've ever done dealing with my soocd then I click on one video "how to know if you're a lesbian" and i can't stop watching its like I want to get triggered or something. Ocd is so addictive, I almost bring it upon myself. These videos are so stupid too, they're sweeping generalizations when every single person is so unique and different. I hate everything. Looking forward to a day full of ruminating and fear of being a fraud 😐🙃
When you feel yourself ruminating about the past, what do you do to snap yourself back into the present?
my brain keeps saying “what if there’s someone better than my boyfriend” like i know that there’s no one better than him but what if? and my brain is like “his best friend has some better minor traits than him so maybe he’s better for you? like no i don’t want him he’s not compatible with me and i feel happy with my boyfriend. his friend isnt the best looking but he is nice but my brain keeps saying “what if he was better looking? would you like him?” ughhhh, i’m scared i don’t wanna have these “the grass is greener on the other side” thoughts
i wish i had more friends. i dont like being in my own head 24/7
It’s making me think and feel like I’m not attracted to her and it’s horrible... it’s making me think and feel like I’m attracted to every dude under the sun... I’m trying to ignore them and let the intrusive thoughts an feelings and groinals be but it’s tough...
Hi everyone, just a reminder non-OCD suffers get intrusive thoughts, urges, sensations, memories, etc, also.. they just respond to them differently. They don’t have the certainty that you don’t have, they just don’t buy into these things like we do. The treatment is not to find certainty but to retrain your brain to respond to these distressing things similar to those without OCD. If you really delve deep there’s very few things in life that we have absolute certainty of or maybe even it’s only the one.. which is that our time here is limited and will come to an end one day. Certainty is not the way to recovery, it’s ERP 😊
I need to say this because it’s plaguing my thoughts. When I was a child I used to see stuff on the Tv, hear it get talked about and see people doing stuff that was sexual. It used to confuse me as I didn’t know what it was. So the stuff I would see I would try, even if that was with the same gender. I did it because I thoughts that’s what you did, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was learning if anything. Now I’m sat here stressing out that what I did as a kid means I’m gay. People on here are telling me that if you’ve had a homosexual experience then you probably don’t have SO OCD but I know I’m not gay. It’s not really a homosexual experience. As a kid I wasn’t doing stuff because it was with a girl,I was just doing what well, sometimes what people were telling me to do. My brain tells me over and over again that if I look at someone or have a random thought that I am, but I like guys! I want a guy in the future, I can’t see myself with a women but everyone is telling me that if that happened I’m the past, then your just gay, but I don’t want to be. I know I’m not meant to seek out reassurance, but I really need it
OCD is so annoying. Like 2 hours ago I was sure that the thought were true and I am a horrible person. And now I’m like 100% sure it’s ocd and I have full clarity.
So I was reading a chapter for my English class and all of a sudden my head felt empty. Its weird to explain. It's a feeling where you feel you're about to pass out and not at the same time. My head also felt empty and I couldn't gather information from what I was reading. This was causing me to get frustrated since I'm able to remember bad things (OCD) but not a simple sentence. I started to get hot and so frustrated that I just took the quiz and failed it. Any tips peeps.
What are some things my mom can say to me when I am struggling with my ocd?? She feels like she always says the wrong thing so now she doesn't know what to say to me. Any suggestions?
Why are we so quick to believe what our ocd brain says we feel or think leading us down an anxious spiral of compulsions ruminating checking etc just to see they lied and twisted things around and used everything to fit their agenda and even if we arrive at"the answer/truth" it's never enough. Were just left mentally/emotionally exhausted and feeling worse than before.
so whenever i feel a new emotion, my OCD tells me that it’s extremely suspicious even though it’s not.
Does anyone feel like their ocd messes with their identity overall? Like sometimes when I see pictures of myself or my name my head is like is that you ? Are you sure that’s you ? That’s not you . Like it make me doubt who I am and it scares the shit out of me . It’s hard to explain
I am worried Tomorrow I have to do a marching band thing and might have to stay after school until 4:15 My friends are also trying to rope me into going to GSA with them, and I keep making excuses to not go But if I have to stay for band, I’ll pretty much have to go But I CAN’T go because Martha will be triggered and I’ll worry that being at GSA will make me gay Asdfghjkl I’m worried
Whenever I feel really upset it's like I've convinced myself the thoughts are true because now I haven't been focused on my loss of attraction to guys and the checking to see if I like girls makes me feel sick, and now when I feel terrible it's like I feel that way bc I've "realized" that its just denial, and now it's making me think that being with the same sex will make me happy and it feels so real but that just makes me more depressed, and this might sound silly but I'm afraid of getting therapy and being happy and what if I find out its the truth, wich makes me think it's denial even more. It's a cycle of pain, I feel so anxious and depressed but I can't even cry. I just want to be straight, I don't want to feel like im homophobic and in denial anymore
TW Hocd I actually dont know if I have hocd or not. Feels like It is denial. Reasons being I dont think I have any compulsions or ever did as other sufferers not sure though. Have not obsessed as much in the last week, I feel gay all the time and not feel straight. Weak attraction to women. I just feel very confused, depressed and anxious all the time, it maybe due to my sexuality changing or me realizing my true self or whatever It may be. Regardless, I have contacted a bunch of therapists bc I want to get out of this mess and feel normal again. Whatever my sexuality may be( most likely gay unfortunately) I need to feel better again and focus on other things, Im so exhausted feeling like crap every day for over a year and a half. I just hope I can feel somewhat straight and myself again after this is said and done.
How do I know if a memory is false or not? I keep going back and forth between “yeah that definitely didn’t happen.” To “what if it did?”.
The language barrier is going to make it so difficult for me to explain my situation properly to a therapist. This is one of the biggest issues thats stopping me from seeking help, I cant even put my thoughts into words most of the time, I have to read others' stories to see if I can relate or figure out whats happening to me.
i miss blasting music in my car and singing along to it. i miss being able to work. i miss getting excited about shopping/starbucks. i miss laughing. i miss smiling. i miss being able to feel normal around my family. i miss watching twitch streams/playing video games. i miss being able to watch tv and be on social media without getting triggered every 2 seconds. i miss being attracted to people and flirting w/o my brain twisting it into something it’s not. i miss my life. i want it back so bad. more than anything i want to feel whole again.
Sometimes I struggle to distinguish between a compulsion and normal thinking/ acts:(
I came across this post on Instagram from a person who suffers from OCD. Since OCD impacts our self sense of self, this is a good piece of advice to circle back to when we feel lost. “Entire self acceptance, with that focus, is overwhelming. Accept a moment, an action, a reaction, or an emotion bit by bit. That’s empowerment. Accepting yourself bit by bit.”
Are there here people that defeated OCD or at least got much better? What advices could you give to a person that feels very bad and doesn't see an escape from this anymore?
i don't feel like this is ocd. it's like i can just "turn off" rumination. i don't even have many thoughts anymore. if i do they feel extremely real and like i really do like them and the worst part is that i don't feel anxious about it
i used to always make jokes about being gay, like for example if i saw a pretty girl i would say "yeah i would date her" jokingly and never thought much of it, i don't even think i meant it literally, but what if i did? and why am i not freaking out?
Do you guys have any songs that you can relate to with your ocd journey? The songs that I love to listen to when I’m having a rough time is This Is Me (KealaSettle) She Used to Be Mine, Bird Set Free, and Hold On (WilsonPhilips)
So my boyfriend and I have settled into a routine of hanging out almost every day while he’s here and it feels just really normal and comfortable. I love it honestly just being able to be near him but my mind is starting to race again saying I’m settling or that I’m “missing” something just because some days are normal and more cuddly than full of fire and excitement. My boyfriend is my best friend and being around him just puts me at ease. I’m just scared that it means I don’t love him anymore or that I need to be with someone I don’t wanna be with
What are some phrases you find helpful for coping with OCD that are REALLY SHORT? Like, 3 words max? I'm brainstorming for a tattoo but it'll be on my wrist so it has to be short and snappy. Also, I'm gonna get it tattooed with a typo. 😅 Ideas so far: maybe maybe, maybe not ride the wave sit with it embrace uncertainty find out [in the context of doing an exposure and seeing what happens, not trying to gain certainty through compulsion] What else?
I feel like I took me being me for granted . I miss me … whoever me was I wanna be able to be her again without my brain telling me I’m someone else . I was down the way I was . I was happy
OCD used to make me cry endlessly i never thought i would be happy until one day i stopped fighting with my thoughts and let them be there, don’t get me wrong they bother me but they don’t control my life anymore. the issue now though is that i feel completely numb. i’m either angry or just in the middle not happy not sad but also struggling to feel anything things that used to make me feel just don’t make me feel anything anymore. i don’t really know what to do because it beats the alternative right ? idk i just want to start living again
Hello, My names Abby!! I used to be on this app constantly around a year ago when I first started my recovery from HOCD. I can tell you right now, I’m the best I’ve ever been. I have a boyfriend and I’m happy and I feel comfortable in my sexuality again. Those past fears still come up to haunt me but I’ve learned how to overcome them and so can you. I think I did this more as a motivational post for all of you because you can do it!!! Be strong❤️
I feel like I’m the most emotionally empty person in the world right now
Hey guys I need advice. I might be getting therapy soon but I don’t know if I have ocd. I have no anxiety, no intrusive thoughts lately (sometimes I do have them but the past few days I haven’t) and I don’t even know if I’m obsessing, more just obsessing over how I probably don’t have ocd and the dread that I could be what I feared of being for so long. I feel like I’m not even scared anymore because it feels like I’ve actually accepted it, and it just feels like all my worst fears came true, that I’m just the unlucky one where all my fears actually came true. I know that ERP is supposed to expose you to your triggers but I don’t think I have any triggers because I’m not scared anymore because I think it’s real!!!? So should I still do therapy because I just don’t know anymore I have no hope and I feel like no one is going through the same thing I am
TW- Hocd Constantly feels like Im being attracted to males romantically and sexually with or without anxiety. Minimal attraction to women as If something is blocking it or It dosent feel enjoyable. Just feel like Im bisexual now. I think this all will just end with me actually being Bi. I just cant think of this resulting any other way. Being Bi would be so much worse. Ughhhh feel like I cant do anything about this now and just have to accept my bloody fate.
PSA: Confessing your intrusive thoughts and feelings is a compulsion that'll make you ocd feel more real and keep ya hooked! Please take care of yourselves 💗
at this point, i feel like if i was genuinely questioning my sexuality instead of being tortured by OCD, i wouldn’t feel so pressed.l to figure out what it is. like i feel like i need to know NOW, and i spend all day trying to figure it out. that doesn’t seem like normal sexual orientation questioning to me. idk i could be totally wrong.
Do any other straight girls find that they’re SOOCD has links with their body image/dysmorphia struggles? I know that might sound really confusing, but hear me out… So, I’m very unhappy with the way I look. My mum always says that she thinks I have body dysmorphia. I’m not sure though. Either way, obsessing over my appearance dominates my every day life, and steals a lot of my happiness. Because of my obsession (not OCD related I don’t think), I constantly stare at beautiful girls. I stare at Kendall Jenner and other Victoria secret models wishing that I looked like them, I stare at pretty girls I see in school, wishing I was them. I scroll down my tik tok, and stop on girls who have perfect figures and perfect faces and teeth, just wishing that I could wake up one day and look like them and subsequently effecting the algorithm, skewing it into showing me these videos more often. And then I saw a tik tok. ‘When you thought you wanted to be her, but really you wanted to be WITH her’… I panicked. ‘What if that’s me?’. It was so backwards because I KNOW that’s not the case, and I don’t look at beautiful girls because I’m attracted to them, but then I doubt myself… ‘what if I’m gay, and JUST don’t know yet?’, and that knocks the dominoes and I go into a mental breakdown usually. Confused. Embarrassingly I start to get groinals when I look at these girls because I’m obsessing so much about the possibility that I could be gay. I’m very attracted to men, so I know I’m not GAY, but I start to think ‘what if im BI and just don’t know it?’ I don’t understand it because I’m not in any way attracted to women, so why am I obsessing? God. This theme is SO confusing.
i was so scared in the morning because i felt like ocd was going to latch onto my gender because intrusive thoughts started and what if’s were in my head but i just let them pass and say okay thank you for those thoughts and now they aren’t giving me much anxiety im just scared why does my ocd latch onto everything
How do you get over Real-event OCD and the feeling that you need to self destruct in order to remove the guilt?
I would just like to acknowledge all of you who have had ocd and intrusive thoughts from such a young age. I don’t know how all of you do it, you are all such strong and wonderful human beings. Ive only begin to experience this and it’s so exhausting. I don’t know how to live because I feel like the things I enjoyed before I don’t find pleasure in or it’s hard to enjoy because in my head 24/7. I don’t even like being around my family anymore because I feel like such a burden and a danger. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about every single one of them and they are so disgusting I don’t feel like I deserve to be around them. I look back at pictures from a couple months ago and I miss that person and I don’t know where that person is anymore I feel like she died. I guess I just want to know how do you all do it? Like do I just get back out there and try to find new things to learn and love? Like will I be able to go out and do stuff? I feel like I can’t or don’t deserve to. Do you just go from here and rediscover yourself? I just don’t know what to do anymore and everyday feels the same just wake up and waiting till night. Waiting to get through the night only to wake up in the morning and repeat the same cycle. Is there any tips you can suggest I’m really struggling?
Does anyone else’s HOCD hyper-fixates on one person from the past? I can’t get my mind off it, idk it bothers me and it’s so hard not to analyze why this girl from my high school affects me so much when I barely even knew her. I only noticed her as someone who was pretty and smart, never even considered that I got attracted to her nor even crushed. Yet, HOCD says otherwise. Now she’s on my mind 24/7, I have to keep shutting my brain down and just let the thought sit in the background but it doesn’t leave. I don’t wanna start looking her up or smth, I don’t even know her name. I’m pretty sure that if I crushed on someone- I’d look them up and imagine romantic scenarios with them. When I had an imagined scenario with her- it felt so hollow on my mind and I’d start to get anxious after a few seconds as of why I’d think those kind of stuff with her.
The more you try to figure it out and the more you do compulsions will it feel more real. I feel like I’m in the position where I’m genuinely confused if I’m a p or not when before I thought I knew deep down that I wasn’t. But I feel like I’m just so deep into confusion that I don’t know anymore and it feels too real now. Im doomed
Okay so I’m just wondering if it’s “normal” to feel this way after your very first therapy appointment. So since I left my appointment I’ve been like replaying and like rescripting everything that happened there as if I were trying to relive it or something. It’s not like I regret or want to change anything I said there I guess it’s more like I wish I could’ve expressed this a lil better cause my thoughts were so scrambled there and it was hard to organize my thoughts ( I think that just because it was my first appointment though). Also after I explained my thoughts and how my brain justifies things she sternly countered it which I think shocked my ocd in a way. Consciously I don’t have a problem with the way she said anything (I actually think she understood how I work really well and really quickly) but I think my subconscious is still in overdrive trying to “protect” me by not wanting me to go back. I don’t know I just really feel like this is just my ocd trying to cling to me and wanting me to stay home where it feels “safe”. I actually feel a lot better just typing this out. I liked my therapist I think this is just the result from my ocd being tested for once rather than validated.
Anybody feel like “treatment resistant anxiety” could really just mean OCD
I just feel Like an absolute idiot I should have never tried anything with anything or anyone growing up trying to get rid of this disorder I feel helpless and hopeless and stuck on the inside. I realize I violated my own morals and values by forcing myself to do something I feel absolutely horrible about myself as a man and human being. Some day I am just going to have to stand up and get over this but it’s so hard. I can’t believe I violated myself.
Finally got setup with some meds for my ocd. After 2 years of struggling hopelessly, erp treatment has not been enough to feel the depression that comes with my ocd, and today I start my dosage of an ssri. Fingers crossed this goes well! I've heard they can calm the intrusive thoughts or make things less intense so that it's easier to get things done, do ERP, and be mindful. Anyone else have good experiences with them?
i'm really confused here between hocd and being gay: to what extent can ocd feel real? how much can it make me feel like i desire the thoughts and would be "okay" or "comfortable" with them? see when i read this i feel like i am gay and there's no way for this to be ocd, especially that anxiety has been down and i have been able to brush off the thoughts but now when i do, i feel more in denial, but it doesn't freak me out properly
Sometimes I just take a break from my thoughts and it’s the most blissful feeling because in that moment nothing can bother me and I’m truly happy.. I wish It would last forever 🙏🏼