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I am feeling very overwhelmed, and I think I have been for a while. I always think that I’ll magically get better, but I never do, things never change. And I go on ignoring everything for months until I start feeling overwhelmed again. I guess I just don’t know where to start. Or maybe I do but I’m just afraid. My body feels so fragile and worn down. I want so badly to be active, but sometimes I feel like my body literally can’t handle anything I put it through. I lift 10lbs of weights and I pull something in my chest. I go for a walk and my hips, ankles and back aches. I do a set of crunches and I bruise my tailbone. It’s like no matter what I try to do to get in better shape physically, something pushes me back. It makes me feel insanely defeated and weak. OCD has played a huge part in why I can never follow through and why I feel this way. I ruminate too much on the “what ifs” rather than focusing on the potential positives. I’m constantly paranoid I’m going to injure myself, or that my heart is going to explode from over exertion. I know it’s not logical thinking, I know it’s mostly in my head, but I can’t help it, and it’s incredibly frustrating. I feel the same way about my diet as I do exercise. I want to eat healthier. I want to stop eating so many processed, fried, greasy, unhealthy things. I want to eat more veggies and fruits and whole grains and things that actually serve my body. But this feels impossible too sometimes. Not only does my OCD affect my thought processes surrounding exercise, it affects the way I eat too. I’ve really struggled with contamination OCD. I get nervous eating vegetables or fruits or dairy products or meat if they’ve been sitting open in the fridge for more than a couple days. Or if a fruit/vegetable doesn’t look or smell right. I feel uneasy about leftovers out of fear that they’re contaminated. Again, I know it’s not always logical thinking, but my brain doesn’t function off of logic. I think I’ve started to shut down in so many aspects of my life because of my fears and obsessions about different things so I gravitate towards things that feel safe, even though they aren’t always the healthy option. I’m scared of becoming complacent in my own life when I know deep down that I want to do better. I think I know deep down what I need to do to get better, but it feels so hard. I want to be the person that wakes up early, eats a healthy breakfast, does some stretching, gets their work done, goes for an evening run or walk, has a healthy dinner, and gets a good night of rest. I want to drink more water. I want to move my body. I want to not feel so exhausted all the time. I want to feel like my heart isn’t going to explode out of my chest from going up 2 flights of stairs. I want to feel strong. I want to feel healthy. I want to look healthy. I want to stop feeling so afraid and anxious all of the time. I just wish I could follow through. I wish I could stop ruminating and obsessing on the what ifs. I wish I could turn my OCD off.

Does anyone else ever imagine liking the thoughts because it’s taboo? Like I’ve felt a ‘taboo attraction’ to things before (but things that aren’t violent or gross or anything), and when I’m dissociating with these pocd thoughts, my brain gets a pit in my stomach and all I feel is anxiety, groinal response, and imagining that taboo attraction. It really scares me because it feels like ‘oh if I’m in a certain mood/mindset, I can like these thoughts’ or something. I’m trying not to do compulsions but it’s really hard. It’s just so frustrating because I know I’m only imagining that feeling because I’m only half-thinking about the pocd thoughts. Like a weird, forcibly prolonged moment of not processing my own thoughts cuz I’m out of it. And my brain doesn’t WANT to process the thought because when I do, it’s like ‘ew’ and why would I wanna think abt that. But it makes me feel so bad and scared, and then I start to genuinely believe that it’s how I feel when I’m detached from reality, and the thought itself feels so fuzzy while the ‘attraction’ feels so high and real. It feels like because I can IMAGINE feeling this way, and it feels so similar to other attraction I’ve felt, that it’s real. All I wanna do is move on, but my brain is so stuck. I’m gonna try to just… not figure it out and focus on reality & things I enjoy. But it’s so hard. Could use some advice or shared stories if anyone has any ❤️

I feel shameful for things I did in college 7 years ago. I’m getting married in two months, and want to confess to my partner things I did in college from my intimate past (before I was dating him). It’s things from my intimate past that I keep thinking “my fiance would hate knowing this about me. I can’t believe I did that) This is a horrible feeling. Should I confess? I feel like he doesn’t know the “real” me from these things…

TW if sex talk makes you uncomfortable... Yesterday was a struggle and today has been even worse... Yesterday, I noticed a huge difference in my arousal. My body isn't reacting the same or doing the things it can normally do. I had my antidepressants doubled a few months ago because I was going through a terrible time (right before DX). I've had these issues with SSRI's before so I touched base with my psychiatrist about going back to my regular dose since I feel like I am doing better mood wise. I didn't have these issues before upping my dose. She said it is "highly unlikely" that my SSRIs are affecting my sex life. I'm like jfc. Start downward spiral. I start Googling it and the medication I'm on may affect things like arousal and climax, which is what I'm experiencing. I decided to send a message back and be more specific in my concerns...but the damage was already done. Uncontrollable anxiety all day... I've felt on edge and like near a breakdown all day. I can't get it out of my head and the ROCD is in full effect. I just want to cry. The other day I was thinking how this hasn't shown it's ugly head in a while and I'm making it all up...then today was just absolutely unbearable. I got relief talking about it and legit deep cleaning my fridge. I know that's not what I'm supposed to do but there feels like there is something so fundamentally wrong with me. Am I doomed to be like this forever.

since i have a medical condition that leaves me pretty bound to my house, i spend a lot of time on the internet. because i spend a lot of time on the internet, i consume a lot of media and i’m very active in social media spaces. with every game creator or musical artist that i consume the content of, there’s always the question of if someone/something is problematic. i worry about that question a lot, and it seems like there’s nothing that isn’t problematic these days. my issue is that i’ve found myself avoiding going to research if something is problematic. if there’s a concern that something may be problematic i should be looking into it immediately, but that’s just not what i’ve been doing and it makes me feel like a bad person because of it. i’ve ignored so much drama with certain people that isn’t silly drama, it’s real crimes and frightening ideals that are mentioned. i’ve gotten to the point where me wondering if someone is problematic or recalling someone saying that a creator is problematic is so common that i can’t tend to every worry and i end up doing nothing. it’s also common that people keep doing bad things so often that everything i watch or listen to ends up having some sort of issue. i feel like i’m going to go crazy if i have nothing to spend my time on, especially since i haven’t left the house in forever… i don’t know the morally correct decision in this situation

Hey, so um, before I say anything, I’d like to say that if you get seriously triggered by mentions of abuse, do what’s best for you even if that means not reading this, your mental health matters. Anyways, idk why but over the past few months whenever I hop on sites like Instagram or Facebook for example, I get these vey graphic, violent and disturbing things that pop up on my feed as petitions to sign for to help fight injustice and cruelty. The message is good but they can get specific with what is happening like @n!mal @buse and sexu@l @ssault (I didn’t know if saying those words outright would trigger anyone so I tried), and it makes me spiral and have panic attacks with flooding intrusive thoughts, especially when it involves cruelty to animals and children. A part of me wants to block those ads entirely from my phone but my ocd is telling me that if I do that, I’m just as guilty as those awful people and turning a blind eye, so I try to not throw up after reading those things and sign the petitions. The thing is though, more and more pop up and it’s almost always worst than the last one. It’s at a point now where my family, friends and bf are worried about me and tell me not to engage but my mind won’t stop saying that may make me the equivalent of an abuser too or just a disgusting human being who doesn’t care about others if I skip whatever ad or petition pops up describing those things. Deep down I know it’s just my insecurities and fears getting to the better of me but a part of me can’t just handle this and I feel really bad about that, especially since it hurts me so much to see others suffer and I do want to help, even if it’s just a little bit. Anyone have any tips on how to handle this situation? I’m so so sorry if anyone is triggered and I wish you all an amazing and blessed day ❤️

I keep being mean to my boyfriend and trying to pick fights over nothing. I don’t want to do it but it keeps happening like I’ve lost control of my speech. Somebody help 🥲

I came out as a lesbian last year and have recently started exploring dating. I’m on dating apps, but I constantly find myself checking and questioning whether I’m actually attracted to someone, both romantically and sexually. It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to meet people in real life because I’m worried I’ll keep analyzing my feelings instead of just enjoying the moment. It’s honestly exhausting. I just want to live, meet people, explore my sexuality, and experience things naturally without constantly questioning everything I feel. Can anyone give advice? I am also scared to have sex bc what if I dont get turned on? or wet?

I’m struggling with ocd around my boyfriend, and I’m really scared because lately it can feel like I don’t care about him. I can be going through my normal day and still have all these thoughts running in the background. I’ll suddenly notice a feeling or lack of a feeling and think, “Do I even love him?” or “Am I just annoyed by him?” Then I start trying really hard to figure out what I actually feel.Sometimes I’ll look at him and try to find the feeling I think I’m supposed to have, especially a feeling of sadness or guilt when I have a bad thought about him. But sometimes I can’t feel it, and then I get even more scared because I think, “Why don’t I feel bad? Does that mean I don’t care?” Other times I’ll have a heavy or unsettling feeling very quickly, like when I hear something about weddings or our future. Then I start analyzing why that feeling was stronger than other feelings I expected to have.I also notice that my feelings can change while I’m actually with him. Today I was with him and my feelings were all over the place, but I still had a good time being with him. I can still notice that he’s cute, want to be close to him, talk about college and our lives, and enjoy being together. But afterward my brain starts analyzing those moments too and asking whether I was really feeling what I thought I was feeling. also started testing my feelings mentally. I’ll create an image or scenario in my head to see how I react, then analyze whether the reaction felt real enough. Sometimes the image feels extremely vivid, especially when I’m tired, and then I worry that the reaction must mean something. Other times I try to imagine romantic moments between us and feel completely blocked, which makes me think I’m somehow forcing myself to love him.The things that scares me the most if I’m genuinely feeling things or whether I’m “training” myself to love him. I also get thoughts like, “Do you really know him?” or “Why am I being avoidant?” during completely normal conversations. Then I start analyzing why I had the thought and whether it means something about our relationship.At one point I tried to imagine but he doesn’t like himself, he looks scary and creepy, and our future together and suddenly felt like I couldn’t see him in my future. Everything emotionally dropped, and that scared me. Later I tried to daydream about us with a song and felt blocked and heavy. Then I wondered whether that meant I didn’t love him.The confusing part is that I don’t actually want to keep doing this analysis. When I stop and think about what I want without trying to measure my feelings, I still want him to be my boyfriend. But I’m scared because it’s like I have to go make sure I still love him.I want to spend normal time with him, and I want the relationship to work and continue but it feels like I don’t?!? But when the thoughts and feelings start happening, I get stuck trying to figure out what they mean. I’m scared that if I stop checking, I’ll miss some important truth about how I actually feel.

I want to clarify something because I think it is important for understanding my situation correctly: this is not about my boyfriend looking at women in general. My jealousy is specifically triggered by women I perceive as attractive. I don’t have a problem simply because a woman is present or because he happens to look in a woman’s direction. The situations that hurt me are specifically situations where I perceive him as looking at a woman whom I find attractive. All of the situations I describe in this post involve women I perceived as attractive. That is the specific issue I am struggling with. I am not trying to say that he is not allowed to notice or look at women at all. Rather, when I perceive him looking at an attractive woman, I become very aware of where his eyes are going, and that can trigger a lot of jealousy, insecurity and overthinking for me. There have been several situations like this. For example, once while I was driving and he was sitting in the passenger seat, I noticed him looking toward the side of the street several times. I couldn’t clearly see what he was looking at and I wasn’t even 100% sure there was a woman there. Later, he said he had been looking at some boys. I was actually referring to a different moment, and by that point he was already annoyed and didn’t want to reconstruct exactly what he had been looking at. Another time, while I was driving, an attractive woman was walking along the sidewalk. I saw my boyfriend noticeably turn his head toward her, almost like a shoulder check. The way he turned his head made me feel like, if he had had the opportunity, he would have continued looking at her as she walked past. That was my impression in that moment, although I obviously cannot know for certain what he was thinking or what he would have done. Later, he said he hadn’t looked at a woman. When I asked what else he could have been looking at, he hesitated and said that he doesn’t consciously keep track of when or where he looks around, but that he definitely hadn’t looked at a woman. There was also a situation where another driver, an woman, let us go first because the cars were very close together. My boyfriend smiled. At first, he said he had smiled out of politeness and that he had actually been annoyed by the situation. Two days later, he said he had never said he smiled out of politeness, that he hadn’t looked at the woman, and that he had only smirked while looking at the car door. He said I was reconstructing the situation in my head. In another situation involving an attractive woman, he said he hadn’t seen any woman and had only been looking into a street. From my perspective, there wasn’t even really a street there that he could have been looking into. And more recently, we were driving out of one street onto another. There was slow-moving traffic, so we could see people and cars from the side. There was a young beautiful woman in front of us whom we both know of. He knows who she is, although they have never spoken or had any kind of relationship. I personally find her very attractive, and I noticed him looking in her direction several times. I obviously cannot know what he was actually looking at or what he was thinking, but it triggered my jealousy very strongly. What makes me so desperate is that I genuinely don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I feel like I really do see him looking at these women. I’m not imagining that I see his eyes or head turning, and I don’t think I’m stupid or completely oblivious to what is happening. But every time it happens and I bring it up, he tells me that he wasn’t looking.. So I’m left feeling completely stuck between what I feel like I clearly saw and what he tells me happened. He also tells me repeatedly that he isn’t interested in other women, that he loves me more than anything, and that he wants to have children with me. I want to believe him. But when I feel like I repeatedly see something different, I don’t know how I’m supposed to reconcile those things. I don’t want to constantly monitor his eyes, question him or turn every glance into an argument. But I also don’t know how I’m supposed to handle something that genuinely triggers me when he consistently tells me that it didn’t happen. That is what I’m desperately looking for advice on: how am I supposed to deal with this? this shit hurts me

I’m straight and attracted to boys. Have a bf. But when I see a girl I thinks pretty or prettier then me my mind instantly goes to “oh you like her”. Help I’m drowning in this what do I do

I’m not sure what this is but I’m trying so hard to fight it. I have been in an amazing relationship for almost 4 months now and he’s the love of my life. We have been long distance for about 2 months because of his job but I have been to see him and he’s been to see me. Our main form of communication is over the phone and I have been having worse and worse thoughts that he doesn’t want to be with me when it’s a more quiet day. He does an amazing job at reassuring me but I am so tired of thinking these things that make me extremely upset. Does anyone have any tips?

Hi. This is going to be a long post. I am F(21) this has been the worst five months of my entire life. I have had other ocd themes but nothing compares to this. I woke up one morning with a random thought that said what if I’m bored of being a woman. That thought made me very anxious. I started having severe anxiety and depression. Every single day. All I did was talk to ChatGPT. Ask them signs about gender, dysphoria, looking up, gender, dysphoria, trying to see if I had gender dysphoria, or I relate to other trans peoples experiences every time I try to make myself feel beautiful. I feel beautiful. I love my body and how I look, but I constantly question my gender from the time I wake up till I go to bed it’s very sad. The anxiety and depression is subsided by the constant gender thoughts from the time I wake up till I go to bed, won’t stop. It’s like I’m not even me anymore. I just wanna be the girl I was before. I just wanna wake up all morning and all these days to put my gender to be gone. I just wanna feel like the beautiful woman I was before I live my life. I am so jealous of my friends when I’m with them it feels like they’re just normal girls and I’m pretending and acting like a woman when I’m really not even though that’s all I wanna be. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I truly feel like I’m in denial or this is just real depressed, gender dysphoria I don’t know what to do all I see Alana’s houses people don’t question our gender. All I would think about is my gender constantly. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t get how the anxiety depression is primarily stopped, but I’m still constantly questioning my gender. This is not normal. No cis person does this. I just wish I was a girl again.

Today has been the worst spiral I’ve had for weeks. There is this constant memory in my head that I can’t shake because I’m terrified. Basically 2 years ago on Halloween of 2024 an old guy friend messaged me on Snapchat. I remember I was in the shower and went on my phone to check something, I saw his chat and I clicked on it and I do not remember at all what he said. I do remember replying to it and then about 5 ish minutes later I unadded him and another guy because I didn’t want my fiancé (bf at the time) to think I was cheating or anything, I think if I can remember that’s why I removed them because I didn’t want all these guys on my snap from highschool or anything that I used to talk to to be on there, my anxiety was really bad around October, so I think I removed them out of respect for my relationship (me saying I think is even making the spiral worse, and it also doesn’t help that the fact that like 4.5 years before I met my fiancé I found this guy friend attractive and talked to him a lot 😞.) That’s all I remember. But I’ve been spiraling over this thought for almost 2 years because the memory keeps getting fuzzier and fuzzier. Basically I’m terrified because I keep having the occurring thought about “what if I cheated and removed him to hide the evidence.” I’m so scared. After I removed him I remembered I felt good because I felt like a loyal girlfriend, but now I think that’s what happened because I’ve been thinking on it for days to the point where the memory is even more fuzzier. But I’m scared my brain is telling me that “I felt good because I deleted evidence of cheating.” Etc. I think if I can remember I removed those guys out of respect for my fiancé (bf at the time) and I didn’t want/feel the need to have any guy friends or talk to them because I had my man. I’m scared about what if I’m making this up and I actually did something unloyal. What if I felt good afterwards because I hid cheating evidence? I dont know what to believe and my memory of the whole event is so fuzzy, OCD has been the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with. I feel like I can’t trust myself, the reason why this is bothering me so bad is because a long time ago when my fiance and I first started dating, I struggled with explicit content. I would watch it, and (embarrassing part) I’d play this game called character ai and I’d create like explicit/spicy stories on there etc. For awhile, I hid the character ai game from my fiancé (bf at the time) because I think it was out of embarrassment. And later on I told him and told him that i was nervous to tell him because I didn’t know what he’d think about it. Now onto the ocd part, my ocd is telling me that “if you hid that, then you definitely cheated and hid that too, thats why you removed the guy and deleted him and a few other guys too. You definitely sent a nude, you definitely flirted.” And so on and so on. It never stops ever and i dont know how to deal with this anymore. Has anyone else’s ocd ever gotten this bad? Mine also gets terrible at work whenever i interact with male customers. It tells me I flirt, cheat and I also get these bad intrusive thoughts. Worst thing ever and I feel sick.

Does anyone have advice for dealing with constant doubts about whether your partner is cheating? I keep getting stuck analyzing little things social media activity, interactions, changes in affection, or whether something he said adds up. I replay everything and try to figure out what it means, but I never feel settled. It’s exhausting, and I’m worried the questioning and frustration are hurting my relationship. I’m trying to resist checking my phone for clues or checking his phone. I don’t want to spend my time investigating him, but the urge to get certainty feels so strong. Sometimes I pull away or get irritated because I’m already upset about something I haven’t actually established happened. There have also been things that bothered me and boundaries I want respected, so I struggle with how to address real concerns without getting pulled into endless rumination. I’m looking for advice on handling the uncertainty and checking urges, rather than reassurance about whether he’s cheating. What helps you step out of this loop and be present in your own life?

What Do You Do When You Feel Like You’re Cheating On Your Partner Mentally? I Always Feel Like He Deserves To Know. But Everyone Else Tells Me No Because It’s A Compulsion. But If He Knew He’d Be Upset, And I Feel Like It’s Wrong To Hide And Keep From Him.

Is it normal to feel nauseous with a partner… We’ve been together almost a year now and I had a little bit of relationship OCD in the beginning. Just thoughts like am I attracted to him do I love him etc. etc. and it eventually went away. We have that special best friends that are also each others partner dynamic. He’s a great partner, there were some problems in the relationship that started in May, but since then he started going to therapy and working on it for himself, mainly, not just to be a better partner for me, but to be a better person. There hasn’t been any issues as of late, but the relationship OCD has started coming back and now when I’m with him, when I smell his cologne, when I kiss him, when I hug him, when I FaceTime him, I feel nauseous… Or this tightness in my throat. Sometimes it’s due to thoughts, but most of the time it’s immediate nauseous with no thought accompanying it. My brain keeps telling me that I like him as just a friend because if I think of kissing or doing anything intimate with my friends, I get nauseous, so if I feel nauseous around him, that must mean I like him was just a friend. And I have these thoughts where the only reason I’m with him is because I know we couldn’t be friends, because we both have this no being friends with our exes rule. So my thoughts just tell me that I want him in my life, so I stay in a relationship with him and I actually have physical aversion to him. But sometimes I’m so happy with him, I made him a 365 day jar, I’m making him a blanket right now, I finger knit it. And I started all these things when I was fine, but now that I’m not, I get nauseous while even doing those things. I just need to know if the nausea is normal, I know some people say it is and that I must love my partner because I would know for sure if I Didn’t. But when I read those comments, my brain just kind of circles around well now you feel like you’re 100% for sure don’t love him. Like even after writing this my brain just repeats that I’m lying and know I don’t love him and am biasing things. He’s really sweet, goes to church with me, has a great relationship with my family, and doesn’t push me in intimate ways (I had problems with my last relationship) and he’s so sweet. I just don’t know what to do, my mind keeps telling to break up with him and I feel like that’s the only option I have because I never experienced this with a previous partner before. Has anybody else experienced this? And if so, any advice?

For anyone that is experiencing OCD who also has ADHD/is autistic (or even has other neurodiverse conditions), do you think your OCD is obsessed with protecting you from the (real or perceived) consequences of your other conditions? For example, I may get stuck rehearsing in advance of social situations because I know that I am going to have a hard time reading the room and might embarrass myself. Or I might obsess over plans and check my route over and over to make sure I will not be late. Just wondering if this rings true for anyone else and if you had any tips for how to approach ERP when you have these other real factors in the mix!

Every day for 3 years, literally everyday… the universe glitches in the craziest hellish coincidental ways for me to see specific triggers in the outside world. It’s like the universe is putting them in my direction, to get triggered, spiral, binge drink, look for a trigger free day the next day. It’s been 3 years of this hell, every single day and I can’t find a trigger free day, therefor I can’t get sober, and I’m suffering. I don’t know how long I can take this. I’m exausted. Nothing helps and nobody talks about this type of OCD torture. Any advice?

Hi there! I’m very happy to be here and get the help I need in a new fresh community that makes me not feel alone. So I have severe harm ocd, which include intrusive thoughts and urges towards family, friends, animals, and strangers. I have no desire to act on these thoughts and urges because I’m pro life and love everybody. My triggers include guns, sharp objects, and driving. My compulsions are mental where I start to argue with the thought, tell myself repeatedly that I would never do anything like that, and I ruminate for hours on end, sometimes even from the moment I wake up, to the moment before I fall asleep. The only relief I get is when I’m asleep. I’ve had this for about 3 1/2 years without getting the proper help and not really talking to my psychiatrist about this, although I am on medication to help with OCD, however she didn’t know the severity of mine until a few days ago. I guess I’m just scared that doing ERP, I’ll suddenly enjoy the thoughts and urges I get, which I know won’t happen but it still scares me. The thoughts and urges I get don’t align with my morals, and I know I would never get pleasure out of the thoughts. I guess I’m just nervous which is normal, but I was wanting to see yalls experience with ERP and how it’s helped yall. I’ve felt alone for so long and felt like something is wrong with me, but I’m happy that I know I’m not alone Thank you!