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Yesterday I shared a post but nobody replied, I feel like I've really seen something illegal. I don't think I can live with that.

I wanted to no if there’s anyone that has rituals that they’ve been doing for years and does anyone have dressing rituals and hygiene rituals like obviously ppl get up everyday and put on clean clothes and get ready for work so everyday most ppl change there clothes but for me i dress ritualisticly I can’t just put on a shirt do my makeup and throw some pants on and leave the house I have to get the clothes I’m wearing out lay them out on my bed in the order they get put on my body then I can do hygiene the hair and makeup it’s all gotta be done like that and it’s been different variations of that threwout the years it was hard to do when I was younger cause I was still getting used to haveing ocd but once I got it down and got better it was easier to deal wit but I still had to do that and the same wit showering I go from left to rite too to bottom kind of thing I’ve been doing it for 15 years but you gotta do these things to be clean so things that have to be done everyday have become ritualized and they just kind of staid all these years cause that’s the way I’ve always done them and they have to be done everyday I’ve got to dress I’ve got to shower I got ocd in school so everyday I’d dress then when I got out of high school I was a stay at home mom I didn’t have to go anywere but I still did the dressing ritual it wasn’t as big of a deal back then but I still had to do it I couldn’t just throw on a clean shirt for the day cause I was a tired mom I’d have to do the entire ritual and put on clean underwear pants bra undershirt and shirt apply deodorant clean ears and face that was my dressing ritual cause obviously you need to put on clean clothes I just always done it this way since I got ocd and now that my ocd has been worse the past few years and my life has also been rough this ritual wit other rituals have been hard the repetiveness of all of them are aggravating I’m on ssi I stay home alot my kids live wit my mom cause I couldn’t take care of them alone so it’s just been me and now me and my bf whose struggled wit life but we’ve been homeless a few times which had made dressing and showering hard cause of my ocd I need to dress once a day I need to be able to lay my clothes out and have a clean area to set hygiene stuff I do alot more than that and it was very hard but there’s be days I couldn’t change my clothes so I’d be stuck in the same clothes for a few days then when I’d be able to change them I’d have to do the ritual the amount of days I’d missed so dressing and undressing in different outfits applying deodorant the amount of days missed it’s been really stressful but my entire life it was normal to change your clothes everyday so I did I have ocd and obviously do things different and didn’t think of this as being this difficult but On days were I mite be sick I’d like to just enjoy those days and not change my clothes but we’re do you draw the line wit it cause I stay home 24 7 I don’t need to dress everyday I could stay in the same clothes for months you no like tshirt and sweatpants kind of thing I couldn’t just put on a clean pair of underwear and maybe wash my sweats every few days I’d have to do the entire dressing ritual and I’m not sure wat to do to change this to wear I don’t need to do it everyday but also not staying in the same clothes 24 7 since I don’t work.

I’ve had ocd since I was 14 15 years old i was a big tomboy and still am I always wore my hair in a ponytail never wore makeup just guy clothes doing girl stuff wasn’t for me then I got ocd and was hospitalized for it my family didn’t no wat to do cause my ocd was makeing simple things take me forever and everything had a ritual but I got a little bit better and started high school so I was trying to fit in i had to try harder cause my ocd made me ritualize everything dressing showering grooming so getting ready everyday was hard even when I was a little bit better and on medication it was work to get dressed it was work to put on my makeup and straighten my hair everything had a routine to it but I wanted to fit in I wanted to appear normal I started straightening my hair and wearing it down I started wearing concelor and foundation I was still a tomboy so eyeliner and mascara wasn’t really for me but I worked wit wat I was able to do and I ran wit it so for years I straightened my hair and wore that makeup cause just doing that was harder for me cause I couldn’t just do it it had to be done all at once in the morning when I’d get ready for school I couldn’t like being a makeup bag to school and touch up my makeup in between classes it was hard enough doing it in the morning I couldn’t bring my deodorant in my backpack and reapply it in the locker room cause again I got ready in order 1 time at home and that was it for me I didn’t really notice it cause I didn’t really even wear makeup and my hair staid straight so it didn’t bother me to not redo and reapply things threwout the day but I did notice other girls in the mirror putting on mascara and girls carrying there makeup up bag wit everything in it putting makeup on in the car I couldn’t do those things but all these years I’ve had 1 look cause by the time I kind of figured who I was as a kid I had ocd and it made it hard to do things but I did wat I could and just created a habit and rules to doing my hair like only straightening it no other hairstyles besides up in a bun I can’t wear a ponytail I can’t curl my hair I was never a girly girl so I didn’t have like a hair crimper and clips so I never even had girly stuff to even do pretend dress up wit all I new was my hair straightener I never really got to the girly part of doing makeup for the first time and finding myself I was a kid when I got ocd and going into high school and finding out who you are and your style never really happened to me but now that I’m older I want to be a nice woman and mother and look presentable but I just always look a mess no matter if I worked really hard to do my hair and makeup I still look like a tomboy cause I can’t do makeup I can’t use bony pins in my hair and do a cute updo I don’t want to go to my kids school when there older looking like a little trashy kid still I feel like my ocd is a strict parent and has sheltered me and now I’m the wierd girl that doesn’t wear makeup and no anything bout looking presentable it’s hard to explain but I just wanted to share this cause I’ve always been alone wit my ocd but I have had friends that I’d watch do there hair and makeup so effortlessly witout a second though cause they were normal they aren’t counting they aren’t doing any rituals there just applying makeup as they should girls I’m school we’re always wearing cute outfits playing together doing each others hair and makeup tlk bout girly stuff and I had to pretend I didn’t care bout any of that stuff when really I thought bout it all the time I just new it took me just as long to look crappy as it took someone to be fully dressed done hair and makeup but it took my longer but someone else could look way more presentable mascara eyeliner lip gloss a cute hairstyles and they could do it in any order I had to dress them deodorant and wat not then hair and makeup I couldn’t do my hair sitting in my bra and underwear I had to do my dressing ritual to put on my clothes for the day then the other stuff then done it’s just been really hard.

Why does part of my brain want me to just accept and be completely ok and fine to have negative thoughts about my partner and things about him? It feels like it wants permission to think shitty things and be completely good with it like nothings wrong. I don’t understand. It makes the anxiety go away but I feel worse bc it feels like I have no remorse for these thoughts etc? Any tips or advice??

Does anyone find that meditation helps with OCD? I feel like it’s hard enough for someone without OCD but it feels almost impossible for me to not just ruminate the whole time. Any tips?

Haven’t been here in a while. I’m wondering if this is RELATIONSHIP OCD or just a regular kinda thought process. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I just regret it and keep replaying what happened and it feels like I made a mistake and want him back. I’m kinda panicking he was my best friend. Now he’s blocked me in everything. I just keep thinking about how I should go back to him and that my feeling will change and I’ll go back to loving him. I feel like I only broke up with him cause everyone was telling me I should. I did it because I also felt like it would be okay because someday it felt like I loved him romantically and other days I didn’t. We both acknowledge our relationship wasn’t the same but I kept trying to make it work and ignore the feeling but we broke up now I’m here panicking leaving him messages and voicemails. I took him for granted and I just want him back.

I heard some therapist tell you have OCD and some don’t because it’s reassuring. What have your experiences been? I really am hoping to get diagnosed….

i locked myself in my room so i wouldn’t cause any danger to my siblings or my moms friends kids. i can’t breathe. my mind is trying to convince me to go out there and hurt the kids. my body is in full panic mode. i need help.

Can watching movies to distract myself be a compulsion?

I think I need to accept this. Too many signs and urges. A pretty girl would definitely make me nervous if she was flirting with me like in the scene of this show I watched. I feel very sad and scared and alone but I don’t think this is just soocd anymore

I'm miserable, so down with these thoughts like I want to be with a man. What have I got to do ?. How can I continue if thus is making me miserable?

Do your family members know that you have ocd?

Literally had a dream where I was asking this guy out on a date, and a couple other gay dreams mixed in, its the norm for me now.it just felt too natural and normal more than what ive felt around and for women. I woke up feeling ive realized once and for all that I am actually gay. I think all my life me wanting a gf and sex was caused by porn and hetero culture. Sure I only found girls attractive growing up (dont think thats true either) but I dont think any of that attraction was real, it just makes me upset that I thought I liked girls and wanted a gf this whole time when Im actually gay but why be upset upset if that is the case. I dont think I understood how relationships and romance worked or what being straight meant either as I was just follwing the culture which explains why I was unbelievably awkward and clueless around women or when they flirted with me bc I didnt feel true attraction. Now therapy seems pointless. Im just afraid if these soocd thoughts came true then the thoughts that I myself am a woman inside are probably true as well. My head hurts from constant thoughts and internal monologue, can someone talk please

Hi everybody. What do you do if a thought is literally eating you alive? Over and over? Its like my brain is torturing me

i saw this post on @obsessively_anxious insta and it really stood out to me. it stated “you didn’t act on your other thoughts, but this time it’s different…” this is how i feel right now with the thoughts of my sisters boyfriend. is anyone else experiencing this? she means ocd will try everything in its power to make you feel like your case is different everytime.

I’m scared I even try to watch an animal crossing video and they were girl characters and said I don’t want to notice how hot it was sex your pretty girls are how lame is that and I’m scared I don’t know if I was feeling anything down there I don’t wanna start noticing girls and they’re I don’t wanna call them pretty like that I don’t wanna notice how hot or sexy any girl is i’m scared of the way I was smiling like I was liking the hair in the I don’t wanna start liking women of any species real or fake and I hate this a lot I don’t want to start noticing this I’ve never thought women were pretty like that I was basically checking to animal girls out and I don’t like it I don’t wanna like any girls real or fake any species I don’t wanna notice how pretty they are I don’t like girls I don’t like the way I’m smiling at them I don’t wanna change it I’m scared I’m not over guys and I’m not into girls and I don’t know and I hate it

Why do I freak out when a guy wants to hangout 😭😭 like I’m so nervous to date ugh

For those of you that need it today. Excerpt from “Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought” by Lily Bailey.

Are there any movies or tv shows that trigger some of you ? I watched one that triggered me a little bit but I was able to sort of overcome that trigger.The movie was Moonlight , it’s a really great movie and I would even recommend some of you to watch , I got triggered sometimes but I guess I moved on with a major exposure , feeling happy about this

the guilt and shame from my thoughts just won’t go away. i wanna go shopping? “no you’re a sick person!” i graduated? “you don’t deserve to be happy.” i wanna eat? “no you don’t deserve it” im so so so tired dude.