Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hi I’m older than a lot of people on here I think,I’m a 55 year old mother of 3 grown up wonderful children, I want anyone who read’s this to know OCD is without a doubt a serious mental illness but on the right meds and with support it can be navigated,also a belief in a higher power really helps,I read some posts and my heart breaks for the amount of teenagers and young people suffering,it reminds me of my own teens,I’m in a spike at the moment but I’ve had long periods of wellness,I want to tell you recovery is possible and you are some of the strongest people on this planet never forget that 🙏💪🏻❤️

How do you have a relationship with God when OCD makes you such a doubting, fearful, untrusting person?

Been doing amazing recently, having a few bad days, eating a gluten free diet seemed to be helping, so I’m going to try that instead of eating lots of unhealthy bad foods. Intense violent / weird intrusive thoughts and high anxiety 😒

Hey, I would like to ask some Christians for advice. (it is long ) :) It would be nice if someone could give their opinion or biblical advice to this please. When I was not really a Christian I lied about some things to my partner as an example , I told that a person that I once kissed (not a serious thing) is just a friend of me , because I was ashamed and did not want to worry him about this person and think of me bad. Another thing was that I told that I didn’t had some feeling for my ex even tho I did a little , but It was a private thing for me and I didn’t wanted to make this information make another person worry because it was my „own“ battle, so I lied sometimes but it didn’t affected anything it made me just get over my past faster. Now that I‘am more of a Christian I feel a lot of guilt about the way I lied to my partner because it was a sin (even tho it was somehow protection). I feel like even tho I asked god for forgiveness and told the person in general that I lied sometimes (not on which topics), I feel like god won’t forgive me until I totally confess every lie even tho it may hurt the person unessecary because this Information is not relevant for the other person and would just make them insecure for no reason because these things do not make me or my behavior different and I would not do it again .

Any other teenagers here ? 19 year old whose been struggling wit this for 5-7 years . I am scared it’ll still negatively affect me in my adulthood . Is there anyone that would want to talk? I could use support right now .

I don't know what to do and am panicking. If anyone could read this and give me advice I'd appreciate that so much. So I'm 18 years old and in highschool. Today on the bus somebody I didn't know came and sat by me which is normal bc often the bus is overcrowded but they kept looking over at the schoolwork i was doing and I was like... Ok. Then they started talking to me and I was talking to them which is fine, they asked me my age and I told them, then we reached their stop so they asked me for my number, which I gave them bc Idk why not, assuming they just wanted to chat and maybe be friends, and they left. So later today I'm texting with them and wanted to know what grade they're in so I asked them. They're a freshman. So immediately I started panicking. Like oh no, what if I accidentally did something predatory by talking to them, etc. But that was fine bc I thought you know, we'd talk for like 5 mins, I'd probably never speak to them, whatever. But they keep texting me now. They want to play video games with me. They want to show me a book they like tomorrow. I'm freaking tf out. Not like they've said anything remotely romantic or I would obviously shut the situation down immediately but even if it's not romantic at all I don't want to be friends with someone 3 yrs younger than me. Sounds like an exact situation to cause me maximum anxiety, and even if I didn't have POCD it would be weird bc nobody does that. But I don't want to be rude and tell them I don't want to talk to them bc of their age and I don't even know how I would phase that, so I'm freaking out rn. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I don't know what to do please help.

Does anyone feel like their mental health challenges have become their identity? And if you have and overcame it, what was it that really helped you? Lately I’ve felt that that’s what I’ve been feeling since I was diagnosed with OCD and depression 2 and 1/2 years ago. And I think that was part of my processing phase, so I won’t say I was wrong for that. And that phase for sure can vary between people. But I’m just wondering if it’s time for me to step out of that thinking now 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ok, I have a question. How do you do ERP? It seems like that’s the most recommended way to deal with OCD, I have an idea of what it entails but it kinda scares me. I can’t afford an OCD therapist so this is something I’d have to do on my own, I just don’t know how.

Social media & OCD: My first intense episode was back in the fall of 2021. I posted a book that had a huge impact on me on my IG stories and tagged the author. My intention was to simply share because I enjoy to and then out of no where I saw that the author saw my tagged post in her DM. And, I began to overthink why she didn’t repost my post but was reposting others tagged post. I rationalized. I told myself this will past. But, I found it so crazy I was overthinking it. Then, realized the thought wasn’t leaving and I feared I would obsess about it forever. I was so scared. I felt like I lost my identity. I got treatment and started to feel better. Until recently, it’s happening again. I shared another book and tagged the author. The author saw it and thanked me with a sweet message. It was nice she responded. But! Then I noticed she was reposting other peoples tagged post of her book and I began to overthink why not mine. I come up with these stories in my mind similar to what happened in my first episode. Another thing that’s happening is that I signed up to work with a coach because I felt she could really help me. Once I signed with her, I started to think will she follow me back on IG? And I’m like why am I thinking this!? It doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t bother me. None of the above should either but my mind keeps thinking of it and it truly makes me feel like sh*t. Like something is wrong with me. Can anyone relate? I feel like I’m the only one that struggles with these kinds of thoughts. Thoughts that seem so silly and stupid to me. I really thought I was working passed my first episode but can’t believe it’s happening again. Social media is triggering me. And I’ve even muted these people so I don’t see them and get more triggered. I also am lowering my time spent on social media. I feel like OCD is ruining my experiences and the things that are having a big impact on me and my potential relationships. And of course I doubt If its OCD. It sucks. I’m looking for a therapist to get help. I dont want my thoughts to dictate my actions and experiences. Just needed to let it out and expose it all. Thank you for reading ✨🙌🏼🙏🏼💛

I was on my way to the train station and someone stopped me because they needed help looking for something. I didn't want to say no because I didn't want to come off as rude to that person. They needed help lifting a cart up the stairs so I helped them. But they also didn't have any money to get past the fee to ride the Subway. I paid but she kept talking to get my attention. This time I got really stuck on what to do because something told me I wasn't supposed to open the door that is push only. But I did it anyway because I didn't want to seem rude or like a bad person for rejecting a Samaritan in need. This one event has given me the most anxiety and it's still messing with me to the point where I'm tearing up. I feel like I just committed a crime by helping that person. I feel like I did something terrible. I wouldn't normally do that myself if I were alone but at the same time that person needed my help and I just wanted to do something good and helpful for someone for a change. I just can't get over it. I can't calm down. I can't shake it off and just move on like most other people would. I'm just left with heavy anxiety and overthinking. I guess what I'm supposed to do is not get anyone to tell me that this is not a bad thing or that I'm fine, but instead to just sit there and let it bother me. This feels terrible. I feel like a criminal.

Hi all ❤️‍🩹 I’m “kind of” new to this and would greatly appreciate any insight. (Back story) After a panic attack in 2017 I started to experience very random and negative intrusive thoughts towards my significant other. These thoughts affected my every day life for a while, but I was able to keep them under control for the most part. Some of these thoughts consisted of: “What if I don’t actually love my partner?” “Why is my brain telling me I have to leave my partner?” “Am I attracted to my partner?” “I think there is someone out there better for me..” And many many more! Mind you, I was/ still am in a very loving relationship with a wonderful man. After months of these thoughts they didn’t mean so much to me and I was able to return back to my “normal” life with the thoughts only occurring once in a while. Anyway, that was just a bit of background of when I first started to notice symptoms of OCD. Recently, I believe I developed a new theme of OCD; Harm OCD. After accidentally (truthfully accidentally!) eating a THC edible I was thrown into a terrible state of panic, anxiety and paranoia. I was experiencing terrible intrusive thoughts while in the height of the high & now those thoughts have apparently, come to stay. I was on FaceTime with my mom a few days after the incident (at this point I still didn’t feel like myself and was certainly experiencing derealization). A random thought popped into my head, “What if I want to hurt my mom?“ “do I want to hurt my mom?” This thought made me spiral. For the past few days I keep getting these thoughts. When I am around her I am so tense and anxious because I can not even fathom ever hurting the person that means the most to me. These thoughts are quite literally torturing me. I now worry about if I accidentally will harm her because my mind is telling me to, or my mind will cause me to write out a plan to hurt her ( I read that this is what “real” killers would do). Mind you, I have never even hurt and fly and these harm thoughts completely came out of nowhere for me. Truthfully, I believe these are the worst possible thoughts that could have popped into my mind because I love and adore my mom dearly.

Does anyone whos been through trauma and ocd or just ocd alone feel like they’ve changed like not the same happy go lucky person you use to be. Maybe have a outlook on life that isn’t has positive as it once was? My parents told my wife that I’ve changed but I’ve been through a lot and it’s only been 2 years like I expect people to be as positive as they once were to some extent. Idk maybe just me.

Can anyone help me with this? It doesn't really matter in what kind of relationship I am, friends family, partners, its all the same, except that with partners it's worse. It's over analysing everything that happens. It's when I send my partner a heart and he doesn't send it back. But when we're together I know he's like the most affectionate person I know. I'm just constantly doubting whether he still likes me or not. It's like with everything that happens my OCD tries to find something that makes me doubt his feelings for me. It's terrifying because I don't want to lose him but I know that if I keep doubting like this and if he notices that I'll push him away. I keep a lot of this to myself and I only share it with my family and they say the same thing. That I have to start trusting in him and that I have to let it go. But its so scary, I'm not gonna obsessively text him, or constantly ask for reassurance, because this is a me problem and not his. But I need some help, how do you guys do this? How do you ignore the doubts? How do you find the difference between a gut feeling that something it actually wrong and an OCD feeling that's just there to make you think that something is wrong?

Hi I have a problem with getting really bad thoughts that I am just the ugliest most disgusting person ever and these thoughts give me extreme anxiety and I usally cope with them with either caking makeup on or going on a spending spree so that I can look more like the girls in my classes. I go on Amazon try to find the best products to take my eye bags away, and I order it all. Then I get terrible anxiety that I spent to much money and that I will soon have no money. It’s just an endless cycle and it’s so exhausting I don’t know how to change the cycle. The intrusive thoughts about myself are too much to handle.

I hate myself with a passion. I don’t know if it’s OCD or if I should really be worried but I feel like I deserve to give up and that I need to punish myself by not receiving care or love from family and friends and that I don’t deserve food or like I said to even live. I feel so dark and scared. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My therapist says it’s rumination but I think it’s more than that. She also said that I don’t need to figure it out either but I feel like I have to otherwise I’m never gonna know if I should hate myself or not but I feel like I do.

Let notice it: often, we are not even angry/frustrated annoyed by the toughs, but by out reaction to the toughts. Sometimes, accepting our emotions is harder that accepting the toughts. Most of the time, being able to say "hey; this let me feel really bad, but it's okay to feel my emotions, so it's okay if I'm anxious, annoyed, frustrated, angry" now is already a solution!!!

I think I've cracked the code to where my OCD comes from: It all began with early exposure to pornography. For so long I've beaten myself up for making mistakes with that kind of content, but I also forget I was only a 13 year old child when it began with no outside guidance to correct my perspective in such a position. Can anyone relate? How do you forgive yourself 100% for this? How do you go on? I want to start a dialogue for something like this. Something that helps people learn sex education the right away instead of all of the toxic ways our culture seems to show.

Brokw up with my boyfriend so he doesnt have to deal withh my rjocd or rocd anymore

My ocd has always been active in my life, constant worry and obsessing and checking compulsions and I mean about literally everything. Before I didn’t know it was ocd I just thought to myself that I’m Just a super worrier lol I thought it was normal to just worry and expect the worse. My brain literally expects the worse and I’m so negative, hardly positive about situations I always feel something is going to go wrong and I feel like I have to check certain things to make sure I didn’t mess up or cause harm and if I think positive that the bad thing will happen. I didn’t know I had ocd until I had sexual orientation doubts even tho knew I was straight and comfortable with that, I completely felt the horrible feeling after one thought… what if I was gay. I remember the time and place when I had that thought and my life changed after that, for two years I struggled with trying to figure what was going on, constant anxiety doubt and unwanted feelings. Starting to believe I was gay even tho I told myself if I was gay I’d be gay but I’m not, just didn’t even make sense to my brain, literally nothing did. I’m not the manliest man either so anything that I did that was considered Feminine killed me. I was so tangled in this that when my friends joked about gay stuff I felt like I was dying. Even if someone said “your gay” as a joke I think to myself “oh see, they see it and your just in denial” it got so bad I broke down a few times and consider ending it but I got the hope to keep going and found out about ocd and I didn’t get help right then I just lived with the uncertainty and I did my absolute best to just trust myself and I don’t remember when exactly but I felt better I got a grip on myself and gay stuff didn’t bother me none I even laugh at it now because it was so silly but it almost killed me. Unfortunately Ocd just doesn’t go away and I’m now dealing with a heavy set of ocd. And knowing you have ocd, that will become a doubt, so even tho I have some tools on how to tackle this, ocd will find a way to fight hard. Im here now to get the help I’ve always needed because when Ocd came back I had a feeling it was Ocd but the doubt will make you give in and try to fight with your thoughts. Trying to gain certainty will make you less certain. My ocd topic this time revolves around harm. And ocd will attack you where it gonna hurt the most, you will doubt everything. Thanks to NOCD I’m able to finally get the right help I need to really put my foot down on ocd.

How can I get rid of my severe pure o and magical thinking without going to any professionals?