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working to conquer OCD
Hello everyone! šš» Today I have off from work so if you have any questions about OCD, leave them below! Iāve recovered from OCD and my other mental illnesses after 3 years of intense therapy. Iāve had nearly every OCD theme you can think of too.
Okay, so I took a delta 8 gummy last night expecting similar effects to a cbd gummy just maybe a bit stronger and it made my ocd so scary and it was awful. Has anyone had a similar experience?
Anyone ever have a hard time with thinking about your spouses sexual past? Iāve known about about it and it never bothered me before getting ocd. I donāt care at least I donāt think because I do love her but sometimes my brain wonāt stop thinking about it and this morning is one of those times. I just meditated and my brain went to those thoughts.
Does having OCD mean that the thoughts are not true like there are many on the idea if itās ocd that means it not true and everything is fine and everything ocd says is a lie and stuff?
oh my god, i just feel so..nothing. i donāt even know how to describe what my mind is going through right now. i just had one of the worst intrusive thought āepisodesā at dinner and my mind feels like itās about to actually explode. i really feel so helpless. my family was laughing around me because of course none of them have ocd. none of them know about even a fraction of whatās going through my head. i was trying to laugh with them but in my head came the intrusive thoughts immediately. just like clockwork. im having intrusive thoughts at this very second typing this. i cant deal with this. itās too hard. i donāt know what to do. i want to cry but tears wonāt come out because itās like i know theyāre not real, but my ocd is convincing me that they are because iām obsessing over them. i DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP. I REALLY DONT AND ITS DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE. i KNOW at the back of my head that i cannot give the intrusive thoughts attention because theyāll just keep torturing me. but itās like nobody ever recognizes how truly hard it is to just ignore your thoughts. itās physically impossible for me. thereās no way around it in my brain. my mind is completely wired to IMMEDIATELY respond to the intrusive thoughts as soon as they enter my head and keep them thriving so i can repeatedly obsess over them. i cant not think about them, i cant not do my mental rituals. i donāt know how iāll ever get over this. i want therapy so bad but the thought of my family ever knowing that this is what i go through is truly terrifying. i would really like to ask others here if they share similar intrusive thoughts as mine but i am too scared to type them out because my ocd is convincing me something āwill happenā if i do. i donāt even know what āsomethingā is. at this point the intrusive thoughts are a blur. my mind is just associating typing the thoughts out with something negative, whatever that is, just something. i donāt even know what. the ocd part in my brain is having an absolute field party right now because itās gotten control of me. im truly ashamed to say this but ocd really feels in control of me right now. the intrusive thoughts are controlling my emotions and i canāt stop them. im giving in, i donāt want to, but i canāt not. the intrusive thoughts are so severely affecting my mental state right now and itās so difficult. i donāt even expect a single person to read all of this here. i donāt expect a response, im typing this out because getting my feelings out like this makes me feel more mentally in control. im a fucking mess right now, and it was triggered by the smallest things ever. i cant express this enough: i miss more than i can put into words my life before all of these intrusive thoughts. it wasnāt even 2 years ago or so that it was this bad. i miss my life. i miss being mentally healthy. my mind is all over the place and has been for almost 2 years straight and it truly feels like itās gotten worse. everyday my mind goes through hell and back, today was one of the worser days. what did i do to deserve this, i want my life back
There anyone thatās been on clomipromin the doctor started me on it I got to 50 milligrams only been on it 2 weeks and the doctor switched my meds to a medication Iāve been on twice already Luvox I was prescribed Luvox and abilify when I was younger then I tried it again a few years ago but just Luvox by itself no abilify and now this doctors giveing me Luvox and abilify And I had little relief on Luvox and abilify as a kid the second time I was on Luvox alone I got no relief at all I was actually getting worse and the next 4 years I changed medication each year cause nothing was working then I stopped all medications once I admitted myself and was discharged in 3 days and told they didnāt have the resources to help me and a referral to an ocd inpatient place in Chicago which ended up denying me cause they didnāt accept my insurance I got on drugs for 3 years trying to get some peace Iāve been clean for a few years now and still have significant ocd Iām miserable and have just learned bout exposure and response therpay so Iām hopeing to find help from a therapist but want to be on medication thatās gonna help Iāve been on Luvox twice already I had never tried clomipromin should I ask to continue the clomipromin is there a reason she stopped it so soon and switched to this medication Iāve tried twice and this is a new doctor I just started trying to get back on meds so I no she sees me as a new person and is gonna play Guinea pig wit me but Iāve been suffering for 15 years and Iāve tried everything and was told I needed inpatient but canāt get inpatient cause noone accepts my insurance if I could just get some medication to help wit ocd anxiety and anxiety attacks panick attacks social anxiety agoraphobia and depression and did therapy to help I could get better enough to go do outpatient do something till I could get into an inpatient place.
New here. Looking to hear from people with SOOCD. Im a woman with a cis male partner. For several months, Iāve been convinced Iām either bisexual or lesbian. It all started after seeing tiktoks of other women questioning their sexuality, talking about how they watch wlw porn, and so on. I also only watch lesbian porn. Iāve learned a lot about comp het and thought maybe this is why iāve never dated another woman and iām actually attracted to women instead of men. Ever since then, iāve felt extremely disconnected from my partner and even almost broke up with him. I find myself constantly googling searching to find my true sexual orientation. I constantly try to imagine if I could be with another woman. Iāve imagined coming out as bi or lesbian. Just recently, I learned of SOOCD. Suddenly everything is making sense. I felt relieved when I started learning about it. Though, Iām still worried I could just be bi or a lesbian in denial. Everyday I am consumed by these thoughts. Iām exhausted, confused, and depressed. All I want is to find myself again. And find answers. I love my partner, and I just want to feel happy again. If youāve experienced anything similar, please share. Iād love to hear from you. Iām not looking for advice or answers from you, I just want to hear from others in the community.
My worst nightmare came true ! I went to my doctors as my nocd therapist said I may do well on medication , despite being diagnosed with ROCD by my therapist and having every single symptom Iāve read about my doctor claims I donāt have ROCD and I am just in a relationship that probably isnāt right for me. I donāt agree with her I know deep down I love my boyfriend but this has caused me immense anxiety .
I leave my house once a month. Does anyone else feel like youāre going to be harmed or killed because of the thoughts you have? Or if I touch something that has touched a surface I see as contaminated and then touch myself I have to wash it away, I have no clothes now theyāre all contaminated and I donāt leave my house at all Iāve been begging for help for so long and not had any id happily be admitted into hospital because I have given up on life now as I think Iām going to die anyways
I canāt take it anymore I was never particularly religious but Iāve been driving myself to a breaking point. I keep breaking down and crying because every single daily activity takes so much energy out of me because of these OCD things that my brain makes me do. Anything I hear, see, or think of that is negative to Christianity makes me stop what I do and restart it such as walking into a room or picking something up or getting into my car. If I feel A stimulation in a body part that I deem negative while thinking of something positive religiously it also makes me want to restart or apologize even though Iām not really doing anything wrong I simply noticed a body part on my self. I have intrusive thoughts about negative Christian things, and even though I know theyāre intrusive thoughts and they donāt mean anything because I donāt want them there they still bother me a ton. If I see anything such as numbers that I deem negative or anything that the church would disapprove of such as the opposite of Jesus or the opposite of Heaven I am terrified and I feel the need to correct it by either seeing a cross or a picture of Jesus, or writing words such as āHeavenā or āJesusā in my phone and looking at them, or by asking for forgiveness. I never particularly followed the faith to an extreme, I never really went to church a ton, but I did pray at home for the last two or three years. In the last two months have been this awful OCD stuff. Thereās plenty of stuff that I know isnāt wrong, and is natural such as masturbation and sex. Even though I have participated in stuff like this before, and I want to again, Iāve been terrified to do anything as of late by myself, or with my girlfriend. I donāt think these things are inherently wrong but since the faith does Iāve been terrified. Iām terrified with every single thing I do and Iām terrified that I wonāt be forgiven if I do any sexual acts, because āI know theyāre wrong and I would proceed to do them anywayā so why would I be forgiven. I have not felt calm in two months even though I did start some therapy, I feel like any advice from my friends family or the therapist has not worked and doesnāt stick in my brain because I am too scared. I just want to enjoy my life but I canāt. I feel like Iām hyper aware of too many things and Iāve been noticing anything that I could deem positive or negative religiously in the world. I donāt particularly want to be religious, Iād much rather just be a casual Christian who just believes in the good Christian Holy Trinity, gives thanks and prays on occasion from home, and lives a normal life where I donāt stress about these things, but Iām so scared that I would be doing something wrong by doing that. I have constant headaches and try to avoid doing anything because every single action takes a ridiculous amount of OCD tasks. Iāve been drained of all my energy I have no motivation to work out or do anything I enjoyed before because Iām terrified. My sex drive has diminished due to fear, and Iām not even in the mood for that stuff (Iām only 18). The only thing that brings me some sort of comfort is the fact that many people believe that many rules and Christianity were added in later in order to support some peoples ideals, but Iām still scared. I am a good person, I donāt do anything wrong I think outside of sexual acts, and I try my best to aid people in my daily life. Most people have a positive opinion on me and consider me a good person as well. But Iām just so scared and drained and just donāt know what to do anymore.
Look I have soocd and I feel arousal when I check or test with thoughts about the same sex I really donāt feel aeousal for women I think this isnāt normal for ocd is there any advice anyone could give on this topic please anything would help
Pls help me..I could use some adviceā¦ I self harmed yesterday even after telling myself not to but the mental pain was so much i had to feel some kind of physical pain to distract myself. I have soocd or so i think and i watched a movie yesterday about lavender marriage I didn't want to cause i knew it would be triggering for me but my friend wanted to so i went with him to watch it and i was right it was extremely triggering for me the parents in the end except their children which made me think what if this is the reason i am pretending to have ocd if my parents act like this will i?!? I don't understand the thoughts the entire Igbta+ community in the movie made me think is this what i am scared of they came out to their parents and i was like do i have to too?!? And then i was like why am i having these thoughts i know this is ocd or is it?!? I came home i was much calmer but I couldn't stop thinking today morning while doing online shopping i saw a model and i just started staring and i was like i am not staring at the clothes but the model was i?!? If i was then what?! Even in the movie the lesbian girl had a girlfriend who got married to a guy and had kids what does that say then?!? And also they showed scenes where their hands touched and stuff what if that happens to me and if its a considered possibility then all could be possible and why would i think so?!? I thought of writing it down yesterday only and posting it but then I didn't was it because i was not panicking and i was not actually if it is ocd I should have instantly written and posted it right?!? But I didn't i came home and I didn't write it so i feel like all this is fake and just denial and it feels so strong and true in the end of the movie i was crying cause i felt like i was lying and didn't know who i was and questioning my entire life and existence how is all of this still ocd?!? Was i relating to the movie was i okay with all this am i faking all this panic shit and i am only scared and i know how ocd works so i just post instantly but yesterday I didn't so does that means its not ocd?!? And even while writing all this i am faking it writing the word faking while knowing all this ocd is a cover up cause this feels too much of a possibility and real what do i do ?!? Pls help me.. is this even ocd anymore will i be okay with the answers to my questions ever?!? Is coming out something my therapist will tell me and would i be okay with it if my therapist says this is not ocd and tells me to come to some kind of terms why am i not shaking while writing all this cause i should be scared but am i... should i get therapy is this even ocd?!?
Iāve noticed my anxiety gets worse at night and in the morning when I wake up. Right now Iām all over the place
Feeling Ćuicidal but not having the option to do it is suffocating and cruel to live with every day.
Iām in such a weird place. Now Iām confused on whether or not I even want to be in a committed relationship. Like I know what commitment takes and now it feels like I just canāt handle it anymore. ROCD has made me realize Iām super scared of that stuff. And of course having ROCD makes commitment seem even harder and more unattainable/stressful. Iām so scared. Bc I love my partner and our relationship but now Iām afraid I canāt actually handle commitment for the time and itās so scary.šI hate that thereās this feeling of calm associated with these thoughts.
***For anyone who has had success with ERP,***ā¦Iām Wondering about the effectiveness of It. I know Dr McGrath has said the thoughts become wimpier over time. What I am wondering is if you are locked into thoughts 24/7 it seems all day everyday, will ERP make them occur just occasionally? My theme is ROCD.
can someone pls give me some outside perspective on my real event OCD:( i did something really stupid about a year ago and itās been haunting me ever since, i feel so bad and iād do anything to take it back and it was so out of character for me itās the worst thing iāve ever done, so i had been using the app discord for a while just to talk to guys cause i was very lonely and i have very low self esteem so i was hooked on the male validation i was getting on there and one day i was talking to this guy who had told me he was 18 (same age as me) and so we talked on voice call for about an hour later on while texting him i caught him lying about his age and he was actually 15 but he was sort of gaslighting me and saying that he was 18 and instead of blocking him i sort of convinced myself he was 18 and that he wasnāt lying but deep down i knew he was and i texted him for one more hour before i came to my senses and blocked him, the conversation we had was not sexual or anything it was a normal conversation but he was giving me compliments and such and i guess i was enjoying the attention but after an hour i came to my senses and blocked him. I feel so disgusting iām not into underage guys at all iām the opposite i like guys older than me so donāt understand why i did something so stupid, i feel like i canāt forgive myself and iāve been having problems eating and sleeping cause i feel like i donāt deserve too and i feel just as bad as a pedophile i donāt know what to do i want to feel okay and happy but i feel like if people knew about this theyād also think i deserve to suffer and even die. I want to forgive myself iāve been punishing myself and beating myself up over this for months now and everytime i try to forgive myself i just have thoughts like no you deserve to suffer for what you did and everyone would agree. Can someone please be honest and tell me how bad my mistake was? do i deserve to die for it? can i ever move on and be a good person after doing something like this? I genuinly canāt tell if my OCD has blown this out of proportion or if i really deserve only bad things to happen to me after this.
Over the years I have said some terribly messed up stuff to my SO and I cannot forgive myself. It is part of me. I am so disgusted with myself and sick over it. I have ruined my marriage because of my OCD. I haste myself.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
