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I really need some help here if anyone can help ?:( My situation: I love my boyfriend so much, never cared about someone as much as I care about him , developed a very deep emotional connection to him very quickly , there wasn’t that initial spark there , I found him attractive but sometimes not if that makes sense, objectively I know he’s attractive but I think my anxieties made me overthink this aspect. I struggled with loving him so much and not feeling the spark , feeling like something must be ‘wrong’ in the relationship because it wasn’t electric I wasn’t 100% sure on him. I’ve struggled with ROCD for a while which has made the past 2 years of us being together very challenging at times . Do I fear that I’m in denial and staying out of guilt or false hope ? No because I definitely love him but I worry that the lack of intense lust will cause problems if we chose to marry and stay together for the next few decades (which is what we both want ). We have the same life goals, we both want to start a family together and we both value a committed long lasting relationship built on trust on commitment. We 100% share the same values, we have the best time together , feels like time flies by when I’m with him and I don’t feel bored in his presence. I feel like I’ve one the full package really. But the only thing which is causing me immense pain and guilt is the lack of lust. We have great sex and I find him objectively attractive so this is not the issue. It’s that obsession, that intense desire that Hasn’t been there . I feel like I’ve grown so close to him with time and I know I’m being picky but o can’t get over this. Especially because when I google ‘ can relationships work without infatuation’ or ‘can physical attraction develop’ everyone is so negative saying it will never work , people share their experiences saying its setting up for failure or that one day you will meet someone who you share this spark with and then you will ruin your relationship, it’s freaking me out and making me feel sick 24/7 I can’t think about anything else . Me and my boyfriend we’re meant to be getting married next year , I cried tears of happiness when he asked me there’s nothing I want more ! I want it soooo badly , so why does this ruin everything:(

I’ve been doing really well lately, I feel like. Then last night my Apple Watch recorded my heart rage as being 168 (I know it wasn’t actually that high, had to be doubling my actual rate) and ever since then I keep compulsively checking it. Keep monitoring my chest for pain, now I’m convinced it hurts, and keep paying too much attention to my breathing that I’m breathing weird now. I hate this. And it’s so convincing😭even my hands are tingly which I’m sure is carpal tunnel but I’m convinced it’s all my heart and it’s gonna stop or I’ll have a heart attack or die

It’s sad to me that I haven’t been feeling larger amounts of attraction towards my partner recently makes me scared that my fears about not loving him anymore are true. I used to feel like I just wanted to be with him and talk with him a lot but now I feel more like I want to do projects or Art a lot of the time and it makes me worried that something is wrong. When we do engage in sexual activity I feel very not in the moment which is also super upsetting. I just want to go back to how it used to be.

Today I just feel like I'm at my worst trying to beat the compulsions. It just really hurts, after I have made progress I still get this episodes where I start believing all the intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am carrying a mountain of nothingness, just problem solving without a problem, rumination all the time. I'm trying my best to stop the compulsion, but today I relapsed. I'll come back to do ERP when I'm feeling better. On top of all that I'm really fighting my porn addiction, it's a lot of weight, but I'm doing good so far.

Anyone else laugh at their OCD thoughts but they come back stronger ? Second question anyone else straight but ocd made them feel otherwise When sexual orientation OCD hits it makes me feel like I lost all my attraction to men. I don’t need assurance I just wanna know if anyone else ever experienced this.

i’m bisexual with h/soocd, is there anyone who had this?

I've been struggling recently with intrusive thoughts predominantly in the form of sexual imagery and seeing myself partake in the visuals. It's kind of like my brain is trying to come up with the most obscene things it can think of. I don't really question my sexuality but it's just difficult/frustrating/anxiety provoking when these thoughts come up and it's getting to a point where for everyone I meet my brain just puts sexual imagery in my head. For example my boss, my coworkers, friends, etc. Even though I know I wouldn't want to do the things that the images present, my brain just can't stop putting the images in my mind. (It even happened with images regarding my parents, religious figures which spiked my anxiety really high). I just don't know what to do right now as it has occupied a large chunk of my headspace and trying to sit with the thought seems to not have decreased the anxiety every time the images pop up still.

Has anyone else thought that a memory was a real memory/real event and then layer (for me later that day) thought maybe it didn't happen that way and was false? I have been struggling with this for almost a year now

Hi! I came here so I could be part of the community, to listen and to be listened. I've been suffering from So-OCD and Rocd for more than 5 years, right now I'm in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend who is very supportive and he understands my situation. I'm also 3 months pregnant, and everything was going smooth until a couple nights ago I dreamt I was dating a woman and the whole thing just activated again. I'm feeling super sad and anxious, asking myself what if that's what I really wanted in life, what if in the future I'll leave my partner and my baby for a woman, what If I say I love him but it's not truth and I'm in denial of my SO, and a million more thoughts. My brain feels really tired, I could really use some words of advice 😭

I’ve suffered from SOCD, ROCD,Somatic OCD, Perfectionism OCD, Pure OCD. Health Concern OCD, and even Contamination OCD. The last few days I have been getting thoughts about gender identity questions randomly when I never have done so before, but they are not nearly as dibilating as yesterday randomly out of the blue I felt like I got a random onset of TOCD. Not once in my life have I ever questioned my gender identity and have always felt greatly comfortable and identified with being a girl but all the sudden yestefday randomly saw a tik tok of someone who is transgender and boom all of the sudden I got these thoughts wondering if I am and what that would mean and I have to breakup with my boyfriend and etc. it has been extremely hard for me to navigate these thoughts the last 24 hours. I know this is OCD because this is something that I never have been worried about before but it still feels so real so weird so scary and so shameful. Not to mention I feel like an awful person who is transphobic at the same time. I want these to go away. I have enough intrsuive thoughts to deal with on an everyday basis and now this ontop of it is unbearable. My other triggers aren’t even triggering me anymore. I feel so weird and scared. Even the clothes I got for myself two days prior I feel like I can’t wear or try on because I’m too scared. I don’t know what’s going on with me I feel so extremely alone. Not to mention both of my parents have COVID so I am LITERALLY alone physically and mentally. Has something like this ever happened to anyone ?

i need to stop ruminating but i don’t know how. i know i’m supposed to sit with the thoughts but right now it’s making me panic even more. what if im enjoying it and im just messed up forever. what if i can’t get better. what if i have a 2 month long breakdown again. i just want to be normal

Hello, I've been having an anxiety attack. I was at the bar with my best friends on Saturday night and two boys joined us. In France we kiss each other to say goodbye and give each other two cheeks, I don't know if it's the same for you. When we go out the bar I remember saying goodbye to one of them but the other I can't remember (even 5 minutes later), I hadn't even been drinking. So it stresses me out that I can't remember how I said goodbye so my brain says "omg what if you cheated your boyfriend?" My best friend says she saw me saying goodbye normally but since I don't remember, it's really hard to be sure I didn't cheat because I don't remember! I feel so guilty and so bad! I can't breathe

I’m scared. I did something that my head told me not to. I don’t know what to do. It feels wrong and I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t anything bad, but I went against what I had put in place. I don’t even know if this makes sense. I shouldn’t have done that. I like that I went against my thoughts, but it hurts….

Perfectionism can be really hard for so many reasons, including our OCD often evaluating every thing as being equally, and 100%, important. This often leads to a lot of indecision about where to start, indecision about how to start, and avoidance about starting at all for fear of making the wrong decisions. What are some ways you can relate to this?

Is it okay that I am in a relationship where I didn’t feel an intense spark or infatuation at the beginning, I’m happy to continue in the relationship as I love my boyfriend deeply but in my head it’s like ‘your relationship is doomed to fail because of the lack of passion in the beginning’ ?

Does anyone on here have intrusive thoughts about their own boyfriend? Maybe it’s just you guys just getting Intimate & it’s not exactly a bad intrusive thought. Is that a thing? Could it be caused by bad sex or not enough as id like? Just confused or maybe I’m thinking them on purpose but it doesn’t feel like I am. That’s the weird part. Maybe it’s cause he’s cheated on me before? I really have no idea. Just want a reply, thank you!

My sister told me today that my stepdad doesn't think I have OCD, or doubts that I do, since indont display any of the obvious, cliche OCD behaviors that he as seen or is aware of. (Such as obsessove over cleanliness, switching door locks, etc like what they show in movies). I wasn't aware he thought this, and had (about a year ago) told him and my mom about it all, when I was in therapy and getting diagnosed. I felt like they had been supportive and it was hard for me to tell them. Plus I already doubt it/myself enough. So I feel upset and angry and dejected realizing he felt this way and I didn't know it. And now I can feel it making me spiral into wondering "well, maybe he's right and I don't have it and I'm insane" etc. It's just tiring. 😔

Who are most likely to get recovered from OCD fastly? I know that everyone will get recovered from OCD but my question here is who is likely to get recovered fast as in pn who does recovery work always or something like that?

I wasn’t going to get on here and post but I can’t take it anymore . I’ve told my boyfriend about this and he said to let it go . When I was 16 I met this 13 year old boy on a video game . I honestly can’t remember anything about this situation too well but I believe I gave him my Instagram Before knowing his age . I honestly can’t remember but we would text on Instagram and one time I FaceTime him and one time I thought he was cute but I don’t think I ever said it to him. I’m scared to go back and look at text messages bc I wonder did I ever try to flirt with him. I vividly remember playing with him one day and had a feeling like I had a feeling for him but at the time I didn’t have ocd but I think I questioned myself I think and I asked my brother about a 3 year age gap but I don’t think I was trying to pursue a relationship. I think I was just curious . I don’t want to believe that I tried bc that would just be awful of me. This was like 4 years ago . I’m now 20 and never contacted him since then . And then another incident where I met another person but for awhile I thought he was 2 years younger than me which ain’t a bad age gap . But he was actually 3 years younger . I was 17 and he was 14 when we first started playing a game together and we would always play the game together and talk about the game or our life. I referred to him as bro bc that’s what I thfout of him as . And we actually have the same birthday . I don’t think there was ever flirting tbh . But sometimes I wonder did I have feelings for him ?. I had this question when he was 15 and I was 18 . Sometimes I believe I did with both incidents and it makes me feel guilty and sad . And sometimes I idk . I have uncertainty. But if I did would this be p*dophilia . And sometimes I would have the thought of the youngest I would date is someone 3 years younger than me . But I feel like I said that to make it seem like it’s common and to not feel so guilty but i don’t think that was a genuine thought. I have a bf that’s the same age as me btw. I have had crush on people that was 2 or 1 year younger than me in past . And I think that’s fine but 3 is id

Does it ever feel like the thing you have always done feel completely wrong/strange/uncomfortable to you and that you should not do it?