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Im getting overwhelmed by the complexity of everything in this world. Its giving me so much anxiety and depressive feelings that I cant understand how things are built and work, it makes me feel really stupid and helpless. Idk if im mentally backwards or what but im struggling to comprehend words. One example ill give is, how are wrappers made? How do letters appear on covers of objects, like books or bottles etc. It goes even further like how do people figure out how to do stuff? How do they make the right decision? How do they even know what to do? When i try to think about them my mind cant even begin to think. Like i have to google everything and even then comprehension and capacity to think is poor as fuck. Does any of this make sense? What am I dealing with? Sorry the post is very vague, if anyone wants to add similar experience please do

People, I need your help. I don’t understand social cues very well so I need to plan what next steps to take. I work with two guys who we’ll call Mike and Tim. So “Mike” asked me on a date and I said yes. Problem is I have feelings for “Tim” and he has a girlfriend, so I figured: Mike is a great guy and Tim is in a committed relationship, so why not go out with Mike. I got to know him for a few days but I wasn’t feeling any chemistry. My feelings were for Tim still and it’s been that way for a while. Mike messaged me today asking when I wanted to go out with him. I told him I wanted to talk to him instead-in person-so I can break the news. We work together on August 27 so I’m going to tell him then…but his birthday is September 2 and I already agreed to go to the party. So the question is did I do the wrong thing and regardless should i go to the party???

Hey all, I was wondering on what it looks like to you to accept your anxiety and let the intrusive thoughts flow? I’ve heard this a lot but to me this prolongs my anxiety. For context I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts of beastiality and wanting to go watch it and it’s giving me high anxiety, I’m trying to accept it but I feel like it’s prolonging the anxiety.

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭 It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… It’s making me think I am a rapist because of the real events too… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts… I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am… Part 2. I am awake in the late night as I type all of this out.. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for the past masturbation to loli hentai and other explicit comics / fanfics with adult and really young cartoon characters couple of times unknowingly when I was 12, and 14 and occasionally unknowingly when I was 17-18. (Ex. Marge and Lisa) I had stopped three years ago, and I'm 20 now but I'm getting intrusive memories of doing it and I immensely regret it and feel triggered by it… I didn't know what the content was in any way at the time or what it represented… and while I avoided most of the content, the videos of them had millions of views, both the videos and the fanfics / comics were on public sites, and some of the creators said they were 18 in some of the videos, so I thought it was safe to watch... I hate myself forever. And you people should hate me too. I'm worthless. I'm a disgusting creature who deserves nothing but the upmost anger and disgust from you all….. god help me.…. just recently I was watching hentai for the first time in a while, hoping to find regular stuff with women my age or above and I kept stumbling onto loli again. I got triggered and I left the videos immediately of course, but it's giving me memories back to those moments and it's making me feel like I want to watch when I dont. I skipped it of course. I hate this POCD (if this is even POCD) and I hate myself and you should hate me too… It’s making me feel like I’m not anxious about the real event OCD intrusive thoughts right now and more intrusive thoughts of being in denial because of the lack of anxious feelings… 😞😞😞 I know the real events (especially the real events when I was 13) that trigger my real event OCD were horrible and I regret them horribly… and my POCD and real event OCD is telling me that I’m a P and a m*lestor and making me feel like I’m accepting it… plus my intrusive thoughts are giving me false memories of either events that didn’t happen or my intentions during the event and saying that I’m worse than a p or a chomo… 😭😭😭 I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo or anything like that in any way… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts…  I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am…

So I tried accepting that I was bi in order to make the thoughts stop. I found my love for my boyfriend again but then got depressed because I don’t wanna be with a girl at all I think it’s weird. The other day I had thoughts of being bi and I was like I don’t care cuz I’m gonna marry my boyfriend one day. I’m worried this is denial but I don’t have the false attraction to girls like I used to ever since then and when I do I don’t feel attracted at first and after the analyzing I feel really anxious and scared because it’s not something I want. I don’t even think about them sensually anymore but my mind/body still try to convince me. Anyone else go through this??

The anxiety is rough today. I just want to love my boyfriend without doubting it. It’s painful. I’ve been doing a load of erp everyday and I’m just having a really hard time. I love him so much I don’t want to lose him. My ROCD wants me to leave but there isn’t anything wrong. This is my first ever long term relationship in my life, almost five years together. I have plans to marry him and have children someday. I didn’t start struggling until I had a panic attack in early July over questioning my life. It’s been up and down. I’ve only ever known unhealthy relationships. I come from a toxic house my parents fought every night, my first relationship was dysfunctional and he cheated on my and got my friend pregnant and left. Each one of my life long Bestfriend’s has gone sour but I can’t let go of them for some reason. I hyper focus on each relationship in my life and anytime I have any intrusive thoughts it’s like I have one foot out the door. Ready to run from everything that’s scary. He doesn’t hit me, he doesn’t hurt me, we laugh and love and do everything together, he is literally my best friend. But ocd wants me alone. I won’t let ocd win.

Can someone talk? I’m going to literally implode I need to get some things of my chest

does anyone else experience false memory ocd to the point where u worry ur not remembering something correctly? like multiple things and then u distort a memory in ur head that ur not even sure is correct, or warped, or it's exactly what happened. kinda like u overthink it so much that it keeps changing and ur not sure what even happened anymore. so u start questioning and worrying if this happened and then u come up with countless scenarios of what could've happened? idk if that makes sense..

I'm honestly not feeling well tonight. Things usually feel negative at night. My mind as usual keeps thinking too hard and I can't relax. I haven't felt the feeling of true relaxation in a long time. That meaning no worrisome thoughts, no weird feelings, no trouble breathing, and no chest tightness. I was just laying down googling and listening to a YouTube video until I got tired and doze off. Then I woke up gasping for air. Before I went for the nap, it felt harder to breathe as I was laying down. As if my body was going into fight or flight over basically nothing. I hate this. It's very annoying. I also always feel tense in an area like my left hip, shoulder blades, my head feeling heavy, or my back. I really hate this.

I hate whenever my mind finds a memory that shows "proof" that my real event is worse than it seems and I'm not remembering the timeline correctly. My mind instantly goes to doubting which obviously I try to say no no shut up that doesn't prove anything. I know I should just leave it alone but god dang its so scary :( Anyways just needed to vent I guess. How is everyone's night/day ?

What are some exercises you find effective? I feel like the instructions I have been given are a little vague and hard to understand.

Let’s step out of ruminating for a few minutes if you are in it. Or if your just scrolling on here to scroll. Let’s chat like what’s y’all’s fav stuff to do or things that make you happy etc. I’m a HUGE fantasy nerd so like I love anime and stuff lmao. I also really enjoy playing piano a lot too!

Has anyone had this type of ocd where you wonder if you r word your partner and if your partner r word you ? IVe been obsessing what if I r word my partner and I’ll think of moments wondering would that be considered r word and now it’s about what If my partner r word me and it’ll bring up moments and I wonder if that’s considered r word 😢😢😢😢😢😢this is the worst . Just wondering if I can message someone about it as well . And I’m scared to even talk about this bc someone might tell me it is r word . But someone might tell me it’s not . Idk . But I love my bf 😢😢 the fact that my mind has took it this far . Idk what to do anymore .

Just needed to rant a bit :( I’m at my worse with ocd . Over 4 weeks ago (month) I had a really bad ocd spike while I was watching something that triggered it . That was last time I recall feeling genuinely ok aside all ocd struggle. Ever since then, it hasn’t been quite the same . I began to have bad anxiety the following days as I steered to ruminate a lot . But then it got little better although I still wasn’t fully intact wit myself /ocd was just lingering and left me feel differnt as if my entire self wasn’t present . I have been feeling vulnerable . As days went on I tried not thinking much of it and I began feeling better in terms with anxiety but yet I still could not feel the way I was before . I remained calm and patient ,...but, along way more triggers came that made it difficult to dismiss due to fact of how bad I was already feeling it put me at more risk . I feel like I’m losing every aspect of me :( I miss myself so much . Something about this episode just feels different . I’m currently in a very unstable situation ...with not being able to drive /having car it can make things difficult around here - not to mention I stress over fact I don’t have orivelage to drive as my siblings do . I’m stuck at the same shitty job . I put college on hold for sake of my mental health due to how bad ocd consumes me . I’m trying to prioriZe mental health in hopes of starting ERP. However , at the moment NOCD does not take my insurance so I keep waiting :( I’m so flustered with every obstacle I run into and unsolved problems I have goin on at once . It’s so hard to balance . Ocd is making me feel things I don’t wanna feel but it all goes back to that day I spiraled into this loopy episode . It’s been almost a month . I know it wouldn’t make much sense to wanna go back 😤😩🥺😖but I want to . I’m also not in very good terms with my mom rn . There’s not much I can do. All I do is work and come back home to a quiet room with the tv on till I fall asleep and it’s repeat , I’m falling apart and I’m deeply saddened 🥺I’m so lonely . I want my self back 😩

its like i have to ss every dm with anyone in fear i'd type anything inappropriate

I just googled something about sexuality and got triggers now I’m anxiety 🙁

I ocd friends. It’s Holley here. The girl that wants struggled with HOCD/ROCD for almost 2 years. I’m coming on here because I feel completely and utterly helpless. I had to actually call the suicide hotline today which took a lot of courage. Last October I had a panic attack from smoking weed from those who aren’t familiar. I started experiencing crippling anxiety and the realization the morning after I came down from the panic attack I had. I finally figured out what was going on and since I had just gotten my first job I felt like everything was doomed. Luckily the universe gave me Covid ( I know that sounds really crazy ) but it forced me to quit my job because I had to. And so for about three months I just was trying to heal and get better and from February to April that was like the best time. I really thought my derealization was getting better and that I wasn’t going to be struggling with this much longer. At the end of April I started my new job that I’ve had for almost 4 months now and even the first three months were wonderful. I was even going in the office every day. But since the middle of July I just haven’t been able to shake these obsessive thoughts about my derealization lasting for the rest of my life. I couldn’t tell you what triggered my derealization to make a come back and I’m not saying from February to April it was completely gone because it’s never been 100% gone but it just didn’t bother me as much. All I know is the last month and a half it’s really been bothering me! I just feel even more foggy kind of like how I felt when it first started. I dealt with my OCD themes for almost 2 years and I was able to come out of it so I try to keep that in mind. but I truly just feel stuck right now I’m very upset that I feel so anxious. About a month ago I experienced my first derealization episode at work and it completely frustrated me and tore me down. Because I hadn’t felt that feeling other than just fogginess in months. And now that I work from home four days a week I only go in the office one day a week and leading up to that I’m just so scared about having a panic attack about feeling uncomfortable but the most of all I just can’t deal with the fact that this might last for the rest of my life. I keep reading stories about how people have had it for 20 fucking years and I’ve never gotten better and some of them say they have tried to accept it but it just still stays, or about how this guy was mostly D realize for the most of his life and he just kind of lives with it now and it doesn’t bother him like how does that not bother you?! I just want to feel normal again and the only sense of comfort is that I’m about to move out of my house and get my own place with my boyfriend and get another job with him. But it’s all super in certain because where he’s working right now they just started the business and the guys even struggling to pay my boyfriend. I really don’t know what to do some days I just wake up in the feeling I feel it’s just doomed I just feel doomed. Like there’s no hope left. Like someone just found out that my dog died and I don’t know how to deal with it that’s literally how it feels.

Hi guys, I’m Ali, 23, bisexual with preferences for men. My rocd (which feels unfathomably hard to handle) has taken on a new face this time with obsessions about me not actually being bisexual but just a lesbian who’s been lying to themselves. It’s really distressing. I’m deeply confused about what’s real and what’s not and finally dipping my toe into ocd treatment after suspicion of it for 2 years is a shock to my system. I’m in love with my partner who is an incredible man but the fear is starting to overshadow my joy so something needs to change. The last time I’ve been in as a bad of an emotional rut with this was two years ago. Is anyone else really bothered about the lack of bisexual experience being documented in this particular field? There’s so much to unpack. I’m scared I’m going to lose someone who is actually good for me. I’m trying to ask for reassurance in a way that’s not gonna set me back, but damn will I ever get better?

do people with ocd also experience derealisation/depersonalization? i feel it very often and sometimes i fear that i have bdp. i was diagnosed with ocd but i feel very uncertain

Not trying to play the pity party here but struggling a bit. I haven’t posted on here in over a month and for the most part, I’ve been somewhat out of an OCD flare and living normally (yay). I ran across a few Tik toks of doctors (psychiatrists) who are against SSRI’s and anxiety medicine. Well, as someone who takes them, this sent me down the rabbit whole. I despise taking medication and putting medicine in my body actually is really hard for me as this is one of the themes I obsess about (Is the medicine doing more harm that good. Am I going to become dependent. Etc). It just made me feel like a weak person and I wish I could handle my mental health issues holistically. Maybe I can one day but for now, I am not sure. Just asking for your thoughts and prayers because I feel like I’m going back into a flare when I have been out of one for so long. It’s the worst feeling. My dog passed away a few days ago and I believe the stress from that is adding to it 😓