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the NOCD Community

for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling

does anyone else experience a weird feeling of emptiness when they don’t have an anxiety reaction anymore? it’s hard to explain, but it’s like my brain is confusing the anxiety reaction as one of desire or something.. it also makes me feel depersonalized in a way, maybe because i’m missing the ‘comfort’ of that anxiety?

I hate not knowing if it’s OCD or not. Any tips?

How would I do ERP(exposure therapy) for existential thoughts/ obsessions? My compulsions are researching things endlessly and reacting to thoughts in my head and doing mental compulsions such as thought suppression, analyzing, and checking to see if the thought is still there. I know exposure to things things is good so I heard a flash card I could use and right it down and randomly throughout the day read it and accept the thought and feeling I get with it. Then do I return to going towards my goals and value? I also heard watching videos on it and stuff like that is good but that’s actually associated with a compulsion of mine... so I doubt it would be good. What do you guys do for exposure therapy? And what do you think I should do? ?

I’m going to talk about something that makes me deeply ashamed and something I hear very little about. Maybe something that scares some people. I’ve suffered with Sexual OCD for about ten years and really the main issue for me was how much it had an effect on my sex drive, I feel like I’ve been neutered. Over time, I feel I’ve more or less overcome the thoughts but I still feel incapable with sex. This has killed the fun out my twenties. I don’t know if it’s the trauma, the drugs, which I avoided with this ocd theme I’ve had because of the side effects warning but took before when I was a teenager suffering from some whacked out religious worries. I’m now more worried than ever I’m going to die alone and unloved. I lost a girlfriend really over this. And on top of that I don’t hear many guys talk about this and I can understand why, but I just feel as if I’m really lonely with a condition no one can treat.

I have always had a HOCD but now I’m really confused because now I think I am asexual but I’m not for sure I don’t really think of sex all that much but I do want to have sex one day! iso I’m confused and I don’t know if I experience sexual attraction or not or if it’s just hocd that has gotten rid of it and I know when I was younger I use to be a little sexual I use to watch a little porn and men in hot underwear but, o don’t know if that was because I was a kid and I liked it because I wasn’t aloud to look it up or if I just have a low sex drive in or if I’m asexual I would really like some help because I’m really getting bothered by this and don’t know what to do anymore and I have nothing wrong with asexuals! Please Help!

I don’t know what to do. I have the most specialized therapist in my area and they basically said they couldn’t help me.

Okay so I’m at work and I’m kind of freaking out . I’m trying to do the erp by acting like I don’t care about these thoughts . It keeps telling me I’m a man in a woman’s body . I’m trying not to believe it but it’s really hard I’m scared . I’m confused

I dont get triggered by much anymore which is making me feel gay in denial.. I look for reassurance all day and feel like its just a coverup for my denial.. I too feel like i faked my attractions to women...

let your mind be the night sky??stars are just stars there is nothing to be afraid of your heart ♡ is the sun *and* the moon orbit

It’s my birthday today and I was wondering if any of you could share some encouragement or your favorite quote. OCD and depression have been dominating and I really want to get my life back!!

Who else has successfully battled public bathroom and bodily fluid contamination OCD? Having a tough Monday and looking for tips. What do you do when OCD cast doubts and makes you feel contaminated from using public bathrooms and/or seeing bodily fluids?

I can't tell if what I'm thinking about is OCD or not...

Has anyone dealt with intrusive thoughts involving Trypophobia? *PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE*. I saw an image a few months ago and I have not been able to get it out of my head for 3 months. Take it from Me - don’t go look it up. It’s essentially just graphic, disgusting images in skin, clutters of holes, etc. I have OCD, primarily obsessive thoughts leaning and not many compulsions. This has been the worst wave of OCD in my entire life. I’m in therapy and on medication. I do regular meditation as well and it all helps but I can’t seem to shake it. Thanks in advance for any advice

can’t do this. can’t do this. i’m a 14 year old girl this shouldn’t be happening. my brain won’t even let me believe that i want to be good. it says that i won’t care if i’m bad. ughhh

Do you guys have any advice for a routine to follow every day to mitigate the anxiety symptoms which include he ocd

I have heard people worrying if there sexuality has changed. They know they were straight and worry hearing stories of people whose sexualities change. Is there anyone who is the opposite who worries that what if they were always gay and just not realized and feels happy listening stories of gay men and women turning straight and feel relieved that even if i am gay my sexuality can change

i want to tell my story so if you don’t want a long one i understand, i just want people to hear me and give me an honest opinion. so when i was young i would lie all the time, try to always be close to my manipulative mom, became very manipulative myself, and would do weird stuff. weird stuff being look at roadkill, do weird stuff with my dolls/figures, and watch murder crime shows my therapist says this is all normal for a kid and i don’t do it anymore. when i got older (13) bad stuff happened. i found out my mom was an alcoholic when she beat my ex stepdad and my older brother. my older brother left and lived with my grandparents to start a new life. when he was gone, she would drink and traumatize us. she beat my brother in february 2018 and that’s when it all started. i dropped out of school for a semester with my little brother and because i was home all day, i watched criminal minds and tv nonstop and would daydream about having a boyfriend and stuff like that. i would daydream about being in love for HOURS in my bed. then in april 2018, ocd started. i obsessed over being a sociopath then pedophile and formed compulsions all summer. then we decided to move. i still had INTENSE ocd but i didn’t know it was ocd just thought it was intrusive thoughts. we moved and my mom still drank and hurt us emotionally and my stepdad physically and emotionally. when she would do this we’d call our grandparents screaming for them to come help us. they would and we’d spend time with them. school started and it still happened. ocd would change themes from sociopath to pedo for months on end and i formed compulsions that i couldn’t stop. i started having therapy during the fall and i was in an extremely low place. i turned 14 on october 28 2018. we moved again to a new house. i still had EXTREME ocd with nonstop compulsions. my mom still drank on occasion. around christmas time my mom freaked out and drank and i had to go with my grandparents. i had a false memory that i molested my cousin that made me try to kill myself. that was the lowest i’ve ever been. i went back with my mom after a bit. my grandparents tried to make me go to their house on christmas eve and i had a panic attack because i knew my cousin would be there. i cried all day on christmas. when i finally went to my grandparents i decided to let them get me a religious counselor since i hadn’t seen my therapist in months. she didn’t say anything about science or the disorder ocd. only jesus and god and that they were punishing me and to trust them. i told my grandma about my intrusive thought and obsessively prayed for the truth and nothing but they truth. i couldn’t sleep or eat and i cried all day. i wanted to kill my self. i saw my regular therapist and she assured me it wasn’t real and i believe that now. then a couple weeks passed and my mom got arrested twice in 10 days for being drunk and beating my little brother and stepdad. (my mom claimed that my stepdad would rape her). i finally am living full time with my grandparents but we’re still in court at the moment. my ocd started letting go (YAY) after a few weeks but now it’s back. i don’t have many compulsions just thoughts and responses in my body which makes me think it’s not ocd and that i am a pedophile. my older brother went to go live with my mom after she used men for a house and such. he’s now sleeping in a chair and air mattress and is being mean. i have no interest in anything, i never feel happiness or joy. i do think i’ve changed positively with ocd in some aspects, i don’t lie pretty much ever and i’m less of an attention whore like i’ve always been. but now i have terrible thoughts that my brain tells me i like and aren’t afraid of and i can’t relate to anyone with ocd anymore. i really do hope you read this and if there’s anything i need to add i will. please read my story, thank you.

About a year ago I began to worry about developing schizophrenia it was so bad that I convinced myself I needed sectioned and that I definitely have it. Since then My intrusive thoughts have jumped from theme to theme but It always seems to go back to worrying about schizophrenia I don’t get anxious like I used to but it’s so annoying I wish someone could tell me 100% that I’ll never get it. I know the chances are really small and i will probably never get it but the uncertainty kills me

I get this feeling that yes, it is OCD, but then I also fear that it will turn into desire. I honestly feel my brain just not working and that scares me. Like I’ve gone stupid. Sometimes I can even feel the transition of my thoughts “turning on” in my head, even when I don’t want them to. I feel nothing towards my girlfriend at times and it just feels like I’m falling apart inside.