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Seeing that no one responded to my previous post about soMatic ocd makes me think that it’s very rare which doesn’t give me hope when it comes to recovery and I’ve already been dealing with this for about 3 months now

Every time I envision a future with my boyfriend some random other guy pops into my head , like I get excited about the thought of loving and having kids with my boyfriend and then the image of a random other guy comes I to my head instead and it’s really bothering me :( I’m trying not to catastrophise or see this as a ‘sign from the universe ‘ but I feel sick with guilt because of it :( I also hate that I never had that infatuation/strong pull towards my boyfriend but I know that I love him more than anything but when I Google most people say ‘you can’t be in love without the spark’ etc… I’m terrified to lose my boyfriend I love him so much but these thoughts are awful

How can we cope with jealousy when one thing our ocd seeks a lot is a play by play of what a relationship “should” be like. How can we find a way to decipher that what we are feeling is a form of trigger when our ocd lives in the lack of certainty of not knowing whether what our partner is doing is a common relationship problem or if they are doing things that we shouldn’t take. Here is something that I didn’t grasp about these questions until recently, one of the roots of my ocd is the fact that I don’t trust my judgment and therefore I can’t sit comfortably with the idea of trusting anyone and that’s where the jealousy has space to live in. Of course it originally showed up as an intrusive thought because I’m also deeply scared that my bf doesn’t love/respect me and that my relationship needs to end, but further than that it’s my lack of faith in my instincts that allows for it to stick, it is what makes it a trigger for me. Through all the themes that show up with ROCD I have found this is the most challenging to me, mostly because it makes me feel suicidal and it makes me feel like my partner is the worst. Those feelings are some of the hardest to navigate through because they bring up so much negativity and so much anguish that it feels like all of my will to manage my ocd escapes. Can anyone relate and how do you manage to keep your objective clear

My erp has worked with making thoughts like “what if I’m gay” make me less anxious. But now it’s like “what if I’ve been gay the whole time” or “what if I’ve been lying to my boyfriend”. And they have me thinking a lot about the past and wondering if I’ve been gay the whole time. When I literally never once had these thoughts until the night that they got triggered again. Because I dealt with soocd about 3 years ago and it just now came back. I also had rocd for about 1 out of the 2 months I’ve been dealing with the soocd. And when the rocd was at its worse, the soocd was non existent. And when the soocd is at its worse there is no rocd at all. It makes me feel nauseous and what to throw up. Will i ever get better from this?? I just want to be happy with my boyfriend like I used to be😭

Are any of you taking Risperidone for OCD? Does it help a lot? How do you feel after taking it?

So I believe i have done something bad and offended God and now He's gonna punish me and I dont deserve His love and He will punish me in hell forever. It's torturing. Any tips how to deal with religious ocd?

TRIGGER WARNING I struggle with OCD and sleep anxiety. The problem now is that I kinda merged both problems in one: I'm constantly afraid I wont get to sleep at night. The reasons have varied a LOT. The latest one, is the possibility of developing Fatal Insomnia ( Sporadic form). My insight is not bad: I know I probably don't have it, as the chances are like 1 for every 300 million ppl. However, when I do lose a night of sleep, it feels 100% possible, and I freak out. If ERP is supposed to raise my anxiety to build tolerance to it, is it safe here? Sleep is important, and everywhere I look for tips to cope with OCD they go like '' have plenty of sleep". That's what I'm trying to do. Last night I drank a huge mug of valerian tea, took 25 mg of Chlorpromazine and practiced meditation. I got really sleepy, drowsy and dizzy, but still couldnt fall asleep. I really don't know what to do :(

I am already feeling very obsessive that I have to use the bathroom. I am so afraid I am going to pee myself while at work. I obsess over when I will use the bathroom next and planning my whole work day around it. I know it’s just my OCD and that if I just used the bathroom 20 minutes ago there is no way I would have to pee again, but I feel the physical sensation of having to pee so it just confuses me. It’s hard to be present and participate in work conversations/build work relationships when I am so distracted by this. I have been at work for 10 minutes and I already want to run to the bathroom. I worry my coworkers notice how frequently I use the bathroom and are judging me. Then when I get home from work I’m so afraid I damaged my bladder from the constant peeing and straining to fully push every drop of pee out (I will sit on the toilet for over 10 minutes sometimes). This is really beginning to impact my work life and even my home life as I feel very exhausted every day. I am trying to first work on not straining when I pee and go from there. Please anyone who is religious pray for me and if anyone can relate please share your experiences. Thank you.

Trying to get diagnosed officially and get better finally. Honestly can remember some of my first intrusive thoughts at age 7-8 thinking people could hear my thoughts or Sunday school would know I didn't believe anything and would get stuck on "if god made us then who made god" I literally will go from omg I need to leave my gf bcuz I am secretly a pedo to secretly only into men to secretly only into women who look like me (white) to Omg she must hate me and she needs me to leave to be happy. It's so exhausting. one time I got so obsessed with thoughts I said oky whatever it must be true and said I was bi and she said I've known that which then I'm like wtf really but literally as soon as I said it and heard this I was like wait no I'm not I literally just thought I was cuz I was thinking shit constantly and thought it would make me feel better. What really made me feel better and something I try to think about was just her acceptance and love regardless because ultimately it doesn't matter anyways if I was bi lol OBVIOUSLY. It's switched up constantly but between counting and touching my hands evenly and checking body stuff, and worst of all the mental hula hooping, it's been killing me. I obsess over suicide, my sexuality, my relationships, my friendships, sometimes pedo. Most themes ultimately lead to me leaving my partner and being alone forever. I was diagnosed with adhd depression anxiety and ptsd too from some trauma recently but now im worried all that is a lie and im just ocd and been making myself worse My sexuality obsession particularly pisses me off because it's so god damn silly to me as if any of it should matters!! But for some reason my family/friends/strangers always feel inclined to suggest im gay or bi. They act as if it's some shit I've been holding in forever that's caused my mental health stuff. As if I haven't spent my life thinking about it. Even bringing it up to others close to me. Like what do they know? Am I just hiding? I get stuck here all the time for no reason. I have mostly thought compulsions and arguments but this stuff has affected my life and my job and my relationships. I suppose making fun of my thoughts healthily and playing a sport in college helped distract me for years but for 2.4 years I've been in a relationship and randomly this stuff flares and kills me. I spent 5 days reliving old stuff then 5 days switching to new stuff recently related to horrid things I have or haven't done to then am I attracted to other people. I'm honestly terrified of even answering questions on which therapist I prefer thinking somehow I will manipulate it to get someone who will tell me I'm good even if I'm not It's also so hard to accept thoughts and stuff cuz it's like I hate putting sexuality ocd and pedo ocd into remotely the same category because how do I explain that the thought s affect me similarly without sounding like a horrid homophobe cuz that's a gross stereotype

My amazing dating relationship has hit it's first rocky patch and I'm triggered. I can't stop Googling to figure out how to fix it. I can't stop catastrophizing and thinking this is the beginning of the end. I'm not sure what to do and am starting to freak out!

I’m in such pitiful state. I’m so hurt and extremely depressed. Depressed is an understatement. I don’t deserve this pain. I feel hopeless

TW (OCD SUBTYPE SENSORIMOTOR) - I talked about this originally and was told I have psychogenic pain but someone, but I don't really share any of the symptoms. I focus on my body parts sometimes and their sensations, they usually give tingling sensations because obviously I'm focusing on them. However, I've decided to focus on my eye and it feels painful. I've been having this for a few weeks now and it's just pain. It's not a real type of pain, it's not even a head ache I can't describe it and I feel so lost. Do I have psychogenic pain?? I don't get headaches or back pain or fevers if I focus on it, I just have this sensorimotor problem and it's making my life miserable. It's like a weird sensation focused around my forehead towards my eye sockets. I feel really suicidal and this is complete torture.

Like i think that we can't fully change but a slight shift can happen with hocd...guys this the worst theme ever...i want to be 100% straight.

I logged onto the app tonight to both decide if I wanted to post about this topic (here I am) and/or see if anyone else with Harm OCD was posting about it and not to my surprise; the community feed is flooded with Dahmer series posts (reassurance like for me). That said, as someone with severe Harm OCD that has both its highs and lows; I’m hesitant to entertain the idea of starting to watch the series because of obvious triggering reasons. That in it and of itself is enough to make me spiral, but at the same time; I’m aware of the fact that it is in turn the perfect form of ERP therapy. However, I’m currently questioning if this is a series I should wait to get consent from my therapist first before going about watching it on my own. Coincidentally, recently in therapy before the series was released; as exposures, my therapist and I just started watching clips of real life documentaries covering ‘Famous,’ serial killers such as Jeffrey Dahmer. However and aside from having Harm OCD; I am openly a gay male and so that adds an additional level of complexity when it comes to comparing and contrasting and ruminating over all of the above because cannibalism is also unfortunately a major trigger for me as well due to watching Hannibal Lector as a child and being told if I did; it would eventually “Fuck with me” by the person who had the movie on in the first place. All of the above being said and taken into consideration; I have anxiety even discussing the topic and the idea of actually starting to watch the series (especially on my own) puts a knot in my stomach and causes may borderline nausea. However, I am still intrigued in the sense of wanting too expose myself for ERP purposes and I’d be lying to both myself and anyone else reading this that I’m not intrigued by the overall hype around the series as well because as we all know; toying with the idea of and testing boundaries, etc. is intriguing in it and of itself. Although, I am truly fearful of the out come… I don’t ever want to set myself back, etc. Contrary to that, I also do t ever want to feel controlled by anyone one or anything and in this case; that would be my Harm OCD. On a final note, I’m primarily posting this to see if anyone else who suffers from the monster and battles the beast that is OCD (specifically, but not limited to gay men and/or anyone else whom is triggered by cannibalism, etc.) is more so triggered by this and would love your/any/all feedback from anyone reading this (ideally those who specifically have Harm OCD as well), but not limited too. Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌

Do coping cards work for OCD? My therapist told me I should try doing a coping card for my thoughts and I don’t know if it works for OCD. So if anyone knows of these or maybe does them too do they help you through your OCD???

Does anyone have any recommendations of how to fight back cheating ocd / false memory rumination? I’m continuously ruminating over past experiences/events (struggling with false memory ocd too) and whether I acted inappropriately or did something bad. All revolves around cheating and feeling guilty that I did something wrong and don’t remember it or twisting up the story in my head. This rumination has been nagging me for months!! I have a very outgoing and bubbly personality and get worried if I come off as flirting to other men when I’m really just being myself and not trying to flirt. For context, I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for over 4.5 years and we recently got engaged. I love him so much and just don’t want to do anything wrong to jeopardize our relationship.

Remember that OCD doesn’t make you a perfect person, you can make mistakes just like anyone else. You don’t need to doubt you had OCD just cause the event/mistake you centered on is “real”. The thoughts about it are not, the guilt/shame, berating yourself, and obsessing over whether or not it could happen again/it was worse than you remember it serves nobody except your OCD.

It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?

My soocd relapsed for the first time in about 3 years and it’s making me so sick. It is bringing up everything in the past to try and convince me the whole time I’ve been with my boyfriend that I’ve been in denial even though I never had these thoughts when I was with him😭 it sucks so bad because it’s making me think about times we watched movies together and my head is like oh did you find the girl more attractive when watching with him and you just blew it off. Like this honestly sucks I just want my old life and relationship back without having to question everything and my past. This has led to me also getting bad rocd on top of the soocd. I just want to be normal again. I know exactly when it got triggered and that helps, but everything is scaring me because I don’t want to lose my boyfriend. I want to marry this guy.😭

Hello guys most of you guys might know me by now , I have probably been dealing with so-ocd longer then most so I am here to help anytime . Any questions on how to deal with so-ocd I am here for you want everyone to make progress