Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
My POCD and real events OCD keep telling me that I’m a sex offender based on the extremely horrible real events when I was 13 when I dont ever want to ever ever be a sex offender in any way shape or form..
I've been struggling with obsessions for such a long time that make me feel like I am not good enough or not the right kind of person to be doing my creative hobbies. Sometimes people are really mean to me and when I feel hurt for a long period of time, I feel super guilty about it, thinking that I'm in the wrong and that the mean person was "right." I've had a horrible nervousness, nausea, and sharpness in my chest because I'm so emotionally strung up over these intrusive thoughts and I blame myself for it. Everything I do makes me feel guilty... like I know the truth is that I'm an incredibly kind, responsible, and empathetic person, but whenever someone is frustrated at me for something that's not my fault, I still attack myself as if I am being irresponsible. When someone has been really, really mean to me in the past, I have always been overly apologetic and kind before breaking ties with them. In some cases I didn't break ties with them at all, like with my older sister who always looked down on me. Now I really regret being so nice to mean people, but then I second-guess, like, "you're just saying that to avoid responsibility!! Ugh, stop being so self-righteous!!" and my brain tells me constantly that I'm prudish and people will hate me for that. Arrrgh!!! I just want to like myself and be normal!!!!!! I've had a really stressful week so thanks for just taking the time to read that
I’m currently in one of the worse OCD flare ups of my life. I’m trying to hold on so I can work and support my family. Purposefully triggering my obsessions during ERP sounds terrifying. I’ve heard “it gets worse before it gets better.” I can’t afford for it to get worse. How much worse can I expect my symptoms to get?
I have my exposure hierarchy. Thing is, I have to face a lot of my high distress exposures daily l. My triggers are seeing any type of mark on my 1yo son’s skin. Ofc I see things everyday (birthmarks, bruises, change in pigmentation (yes I see even the subtlest of changes), etc and then ponder what if this mark represents a serious health condition of which I fear)zz i face these triggers daily when I change his clothes, nappy, bathe him, and have him in shorts/shirts/topless. I look at his skin so much and touch it that now he swats my hands away and says no. He even lifts up our shirts to look at our tummies and points to blemishes we have. I feel terrible! I don’t want to give him some type of insecurity or ocd tendencies about skin too! If I’m not in close inspecting, then I’m ruminating and glancing at it. So I’m faced with my exposures all day every day, despite my hierarchy. What do I do, how do I go about this successfully!? I’m otherwise doing these compulsions for hours on end.
I constantly get feelings that I’m promising God things or somehow making deals with him. I don’t mean to but I can’t stop. It’s an intrusive thought that replays constantly. Anyways, I was watching the fights tonight, and I got it in my head that if one fighter didn’t win, I would do my most common compulsion, which is holding my breath for 2 minutes straight. I know that sounds crazy but it used to be possible for me. I could go almost 2:30 when I was at best. (I used to do this compulsion constantly) I feel as though in this agreement, I said that “either (I’m not comfortable sharing the consequence) or I have to hold my breath for 2 minutes straight”. The fighter I needed to win LOST… and now I feel as though I must do the promise or the consequence will happen. Please tell me anything, I’m desperate for help. I also fear as if I don’t hold my breath for that long or atleast try to I’m somehow weak.
I really want to have a family someday with my boyfriend. I’m so scared POCD will keep me from that. Can anyone share success :(
Hi guys, this week has been tough on my relationship, a good portion of which is because I’ve had a lot of insecurities. Last night my boyfriend and I got into a sort of big fight and I ended up saying that a fear of mine is that he doesn’t love me as much as I love him and now I feel myself getting very anxious because that was obviously a very vulnerable comment to make out loud and I usually have more of a tough exterior and I have this idea that he is going to look at me differently because what if I sounded desperate? I obviously do not want reassurance but I do want maybe some words of comfort. I feel myself getting panicky the way I have in the past after a fight and I am at a place where I think I can prevent a spiral from happening.
What do you guys do when you do something wrong? I don't know if it's ocd but when I do something wrong I just can't let it go, it was months ago now but I think about it everyday and it's just consuming me. And I don't even know if it can be guilt/shame ocd because I actually did the thing
Can I get trustworthy and supportive friends on here that is kind and we can talk on what's app or over the phone i will be supportive too perefarable a Muslim female due to my own kind of ocd . am not discriminating please dont get me wrong please. but regardless of your religion we can still be friends don't mind having multiple friend s I don't know if they do that on this app
Okay so im pretty much just putting this out there to see if anyone will comment and help me. This is my first and only baby I will be having. I have pretty severe ocd with multiple themes and have for years it fluctuates from better to worse you know like this disorder usually does but especially with this pregnancy it has been so bad. It got bad in the second trimester and then it got worse in this last trimester. Idk if it’s because I’m just anticipating his arrival so much so my minds just left to wonder and create scenarios regular and intrusive, of what it’ll be like to be a mom and have him here and also to be exposed everyday to a source of anxiety for me. My stress level is so so high almost everything triggers a thought for me everyday and i ruminate on all of them everyday. I try not to but right now it feels impossible eventhough I know it’s ocd. So what I’m asking is any mom, dad, parent whatever on here I need advice on managing this with a new child. He is about to come out and I’m so anxious about how this will affect me I want to be a good mom and of course ocd makes me worry what if I’m just constantly anxious around him and can’t function and don’t want to be around him? What if I hurt him or want to? All the terrible what ifs and worrying that I won’t be able to enjoy being a mom that this shit will take any enjoyable part of the experience away from me and just make me miserable so please anyone who’s been through it before just tell me how you managed or are still managing what you did to prepare/how you cope? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!
I keep getting anxious about this one situation, I have all the facts and they all prove my ocd wrong but I’m still getting anxious about it even when the facts point to this thing not being true. It’s so scary because it’s a really serious thing, but I have all the facts and they point to it not being true but my ocd is still saying ‘what if?’ Someone help lol
I’m going on a cruise and I’m so nervous, I haven’t been out of my comfort zone for 3 years , I’m trying to stay calm and focus on the present and deal with it when it comes but I’m still anxious , what if I spike on there , what if I get Covid on there
Hello, I am currently in an LDR because of a semester abroad. Since then I've become increasingly stressed about my relationship, have strong break up urges or feel like something doesn't "feel right". Constantly analysing my feelings when we talk on the phone or I see a picture of him. I always had these thoughts in past relationships as well. I am just afraid it's real and it means I have to break up. I am so depressed. Any tips how to overcome my urges?
I’m so tired. It’s gotten to the point where sure. I don’t want to be gay. But if I am. I want to be able to accept it. Why can’t I accept it though ? I’ve even had moments where I’ve said ‘this is real. I am gay. There is no way this can’t be real’ but it comes with discomfort. If I am gay. Why can’t I accept it ?
to preface, my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a few months, but we have a much longer history as “friends” before that. anyways, he and i are both demisexual, meaning that we didn’t have any sexual interests with anyone else but each other, and only after we had made a feel connection together. he and i have been through lots of struggles, and at one point he accidentally led me on and he has apologized numerous times for. i know that he never ever meant to hurt me, but i can’t get over it. like it’s very weird. he told me he liked another girl three years ago and it broke my heart; she and i have dance class together and when i see her, i constantly compare myself to her. at our dance shows, i wonder if he’s just watching her. up until yesterday, i thought that i was the first kiss my bf ever had. i was wrong (he kissed a girl on the cheek playing spin the bottle in 7th grade) and for some reason that broke my heart. i know that it’s way before we dated (we’re seniors in high school now) and it doesn’t make sense for me to get upset, especially considering that i’ve kissed two other ex boyfriends before him. since he’s told me, it’s been hard for me to look into his eyes because all i can think about is her. i couldn’t let him touch me because i felt betrayed. when i look at his lips, all that i think about is them kissing her cheek. he’s told me he’s never felt anything to her and it was so stupid, but i can’t get it out of my head. he and i will be having a good time and then i look at him and think of it and i can’t look at him and i’m struggling to be able to connect with him. it’s like i have this mental barrier and i just cannot get over it. i ask him questions to make myself feel better because i feel like i have to know everything, so i think it’s ocd but i just want to get over it. i also want to add that being demisexual and even before i knew that i was, i have always felt that my body is a very sacred place. i don’t let people touch it a lot because it means a lot to me when that does happen. i literally thought that i was asexual until i began dating boyfriend. i have a such a hard time with the idea of him liking other people in the past and the kiss and i always ask him questions over it until i feel better and then i ask again later and it’s exhausting. thoughts?
Im having a really hard time lately with mental compulsions and counting. The mental compulsions are usually positive thoughts to counter any negative intrusive thoughts. I do compulsions in multiples of 6 positive thoughts, usually, with the 21st and 23rd compulsions feeling "just right" without a negative intrusive thought out of 24 total, or I start over. Then that snow balls into doing the multiples groups of 24, into hundreds. Ive been stuck on doing a certain amount of compulsions before the minute on the clock changes, pr trying to do them before someone finishes their sentence when talking to me. There are others too, but these have been the main things lately. The anxiety and urge can feel so "life or death", which is ridiculous because they are only thoughts. Im spending at least 12 to 16 hours per day doing this lately. Does anyone else have similar counting, or mental compulsion patterns? I was doing well for years, then hit a bad ocd phase a couple of months ago, and have been feeling worse. Ive started a new job recently, but the ocd is affecting my work and my relationships with loved ones. I know im not going to feel like this forever, and neither are you. I want my life back. Thanks for listening.
I hate having ocd as an artist. In some ways I think it’s stunted my growth. I’m an animation major, and I absolutely love drawing, but ocd instills this constant anxiety that everything I draw will turn out bad. It causes me to not want to pick up the pencil. Anyone relate?
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
