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I just started Exposure and Response prevention teraphy due to my OCD getting worsed as time pass by and I would like to ask question to someone who has gone throught his process already.

I’m meeting with my therapist Monday and I’m really afraid that she’ll tell me to break up with my partner because of my thoughts. I’m afraid of these thoughts never going away and this feeling of anxiety coming. I just can’t seem to feel happy in my relationship due to my intrusive thoughts.

I get hungry, but even the food I love to eat feels like I’m tired of the taste after one bite. I look in the mirror and I don’t look like how I do in my head. I forget what I was doing so easily. I don’t think I feel connected to anyone. I know I love them and myself. But something doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m in a dream. I feel like my life is passing by and I’m not actually living it. I get irritated by everyone around me and then I feel guilty. I don’t feel like I’m being fair to my loved ones by doing this. I can’t share a happy moment with them.

After dealing with ROCD for over two years, here are some things that helped me with my recovery. 1. Exposure therapy When I would be anxious to kiss my boyfriend, would do it anyway, and this goes for anything that you're anxious about...just do it, the fear will subside, and you'll realize that you're mind was just making a big deal out of it. 2. Cognitive reconstructing. This is pretty much just an exercise that helps you rewire your brain, for example, a lot of people with OCD have a cognitive distortion of perfection, I used to have an obsession about my boyfriend having a little fat on his belly, then I realized that everyone's gonna have a little fat on their belly, it's extremely rare for someone to have zero fat on their belly... I would suggest looking up all the different kinds of cognitive distortions and work on corrected them. Another example would be getting anxious because you found someone else attractive, I had to tell my brain that it's normal to find other people attractive, as long as you're not acting out on the attraction and choosing to stay faithful. 3. Getting to the root of ROCD Most people (if not all) with ROCD don't develop it until they get into a real, loving, committed relationship. It rarely comes when you're not taking someone seriously or when they're not taking yo seriously. What does this tell you? It tells you that ROCD is your brains defense mechanism to keep you from being vulnerable and keep you from getting hurt. The truth is most people with ROCD are afraid of commitment, and this is usually something that's subconscious. 4. Being immature in love, or not knowing what real love is. Usually people with ROCD do not have a good definition of what love is, love is a choice... And I know some people get anxious when you say that love is a choice because they think "what if I don't choose my partner" but the truth is, you can choose, over and over and over. The idea that love is a feeling is what has gotten us in this trap in the first place, love is so much more than a feeling, it is a daily choice. Part of this immaturity also comes from movies and social media, movies that always tell us to go for the most beautiful person in the room, or movies that always tell you, that you always need to have a spark, sparks are not real, chemistry is not real either, I know that “chemistry” is a common trigger word tor people with ROCD, because they wonder if they have chemistry with their current partner...The truth is when you're in a relationship and you're planning to marry or be serious all that matters is that you share the same morals, belief systems, and values...and have mutual respect, and loyalty for one another. If we keep chasing the euphoria (honeymoon phase) that comes when you first get into a relationship, will always be single, always be breaking up with people, and getting with new people to feel the euphoria again, not knowing that this feeling does not last... euphoria is meant to get two people together, so you can have something greater. And real love (love that involves choosing, and not a feeling) is so much better than the euphoric high when you first get with someone, allow yourself to mature in real love. Old people don't have that exciting honeymoon feeling anymore, they stayed married because they chose each other every day, that's real authentic love. 5. Meant to be mindset, or soulmate mindset. The concept of being "meant to be" does not exist, neither does soulmates... You get with someone and you make a decision...trust that you made the right one (non-abusive relationship, no constant cheating, no harsh disrespect, common morals and values). The truth is, you get with someone and you make them your soul mate, you make them your “one” it’s all a choice, all this fancy terms come from movies. Real love requires nurture, and care…learning about each other so you can become better suited for one another over time…expecting to have everything you could ever want in a person is unrealistic, that develops overtime. You create your “one” 6. Calling out OCD on its BS! You need to know that ROCD wants you to remain single, it wants you to keep breaking up with people till you find someone “perfect” which doesn’t exist. For example, if you have the intrusive thought “that guy looks better than my bf, maybe I shouldn’t be with my bf and I should be with him, maybe I’m making a mistake being with my bf” you have to know that if you were to listen to the thought, you’d get with a better looking guy, and then leave that guy for the next good looking guy. It doesn’t make sense, you’ll be alone, and that’s what your brain wants. 7. You are not your thoughts This is crucial for recovery, remember that these thoughts aren’t real, the feelings that come from the thoughts aren’t real either. The thoughts say absolutely nothing about you. An intrusive thought is like a plane that landed in the wrong airport, you don’t inspect it or pick it apart or dwell on it, you just simply send it away! Same for the thoughts, they may land like birds but don’t let them form a nest. I say all this to say…don’t give up!! The man I referred to as my “bf” is now my husband. There is hope!!! I was so afraid to get married but I took the risk, love is a risk and you’ll never “know for sure” if you should be with someone, you take a leap of faith and trust your judgment…I’m so glad I did, my anxiety has greatly reduced after marrying him and I’m so happy and in love with him.

Hello, My husband has moderate to severe OCD. He struggles with contamination, some checking, some tied to religion/prayer/confession and really bad intrusive thoughts. He has been diagnosed. As his wife, he often asks for reassurance. "Did you wash your hands with soap?" "Did you touch the trashcan?" Those are a few examples. How do I respond to these frequent questions in a healthy way? Any tips or pointers, because I only understand OCD very little.

Hi im new to this group but wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to mine. I went to doctors today for a review of new medication (mirtazapine) my previous doctor was update with her knowledge of mental health and had previously worked for crisis team (a support line for mental health here in the UK). Unfortunately she was on part of her training and it came to an end so I was left with a different doctor for today's review who was not understanding of my harm ocd at all. I asked for reassurance for my intrusive thoughts and in response was told its not normal because not everyone with ocd has them. I wasnt aure how to take this comment? It sent me into sheer panic as I left the doctors surgery and even worse rumination about wether or not I'm normal! I know harm ocd can be a taboo subject but I mean for a doctor not to understand is very frustrating. Anyone else experienced similar? I'm by no means seeking reassurance just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.

I've been in treatment for about 2 weeks now and I've been trying very hard to stick with my erp and not avoid but today my harm ovd gave me the thought that the only way it would stop is if I did it. This is not how I feel or what I want but it was more scary than any other thought I've had, I immediately got sick and anxious feeling. I was told that ocd will fight back but I'm not sure if this would count as that? Anybody have any advice?

I love him so much and I'll never have him again and it's all my fault. My ocd got so bad after he left me and it's all my fault.. I was stupid and cheated on him for some reason and he found out and broke up with me. This was almost 5 years ago now and I'm still in love with him, but he has completely moved on and wants nothing to do with me. But then he says things that confuse me and i always feel like its not over between us even though hes said mutiple times that he doesnt love me anymore and doesnt want to be eith me I've tried dating other people but I just can't do it. I love him so much it hurts why did I have to be so stupid why why why why whyyy I hate myself so much

Hi guys, I just wanted to see if other people have ever gone through what I’m going through (most likely yes). Last year I had trauma from my church. I had my beliefs in check before the accident I was forming my own opinions and interpretations and values with my religion (Christianity) and then the incident happened. Ever since I have been deconstructing severely. I’m constantly having mental breakdowns over is Jesus really love, what does it even mean to be kind like Him when he sends people to h*ll over their sexuality or different religion, is he punishing me because I’m not following his will correctly or wanting to believe the Bible fully, is my wonderful loving and amazing husband spiritually right for me, every time I interact with my LGBTQ+ friends why does my mind say they are wrong, is my internal dialogue the voice of the Holy Spirit, uncertainty doesn’t apply to me, is the dev*l making me think these things etc. I would love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience. And note please do not tell me to pray about it and so on.

There is someone who frequently posts on this app about the same topics and also send me texts about the same things as well. I’ve tried to help in the best way I can, like explain how compulsions work yet they continue to seek reassurance about the same things through me as well as the app, which we all know, makes matters worse when it comes to OCD. They are aware of this, yet they continue to seek reassurance constantly. I repeat myself a lot and encourage them to try ERP but I don’t know what else to do or how to help this person anymore at this point.

So I need help. Plain and simple. I’ve never had ERP but my contamination OCD is getting worse. I’ve tried many meds. But I’ve been off my latest meds (citalopram 20mg) since December 2. But I can’t seem to beat this. I thought after cancer I could beat this no problem. But I feel utterly defeated. I haven’t. I feel like a nut job. Anyway. My insurance doesn’t cover therapy session. So does anyone know where I can get ERP online for free? I MUST SUCCEED! Any help appreciated

So the key about dealing with OCD's constant fears and "what ifs" is to basically not care since the reason it sticks is because you care... A LOT. So... how do I not care? It's really hard? Do I pretend I'm not bothered? Because that kind of feel like repression. I know you need to feel the anxiety but alsl if you didn't care about the thoughts/feelings you basically wouldnt have OCD. (No reassurance please, thank you!)

After dealing with ROCD for over two years, here are some things that helped me with my recovery. 1. Exposure therapy When I would be anxious to kiss my boyfriend, I would do it anyway, and this goes for anything that you’re anxious about…just do it, the fear will subside, and you’ll realize that you’re mind was just making a big deal out of it. 2. Cognitive reconstructing. This is pretty much just an exercise that helps you rewire your brain, for example, a lot of people with OCD have a cognitive distortion of perfection, I used to have an obsession about my boyfriend having a little fat on his belly, then I realized that everyone’s gonna have a little fat on their belly, it’s extremely rare for someone to have zero fat on their belly… I would suggest looking up all the different kinds of cognitive distortions and work on corrected them. Another example would be getting anxious because you found someone else attractive, I had to tell my brain that it’s normal to find other people attractive, as long as you’re not acting out on the attraction and choosing to stay faithful. 3. Getting to the root of ROCD Most people (if not all) with ROCD don’t develop it until they get into a real, loving, committed relationship. It rarely comes when you’re not taking someone seriously or when they’re not taking yo seriously. What does this tell you? It tells you that ROCD is your brains defense mechanism to keep you from being vulnerable and keep you from getting hurt. The truth is most people with ROCD are afraid of commitment, and this is usually something that’s subconscious. 4. Immature in love, or not knowing what real love is. Usually people with ROCD do not have a good definition of what love is, love is a choice… And I know some people get anxious when you say that love is a choice because they think “what if I don’t choose my partner“ but the truth is, you can choose, over and over and over. The idea that love is a feeling is what has gotten us in this trap in the first place, love is so much more than a feeling, it is a daily choice. Part of this immaturity also comes from movies and social media, movies that always tell us to go for the most beautiful person in the room, or movies that always tell you, that you always need to have a spark, sparks are not real, chemistry is not real either, I know that chemistry is a common trigger word for people with ROCD, because they wonder if they have chemistry with their current partner…The truth is when you’re in a relationship and you’re planning to marry all that matters is that you share the same morals, beliefs, systems, and values…and having mutual respect, and loyalty. if we keep chasing the euphoria (honeymoon phase) that comes when you first get into a relationship, will always be single, always be breaking up with people, and getting with new people to feel the euphoria again, not knowing that euphoria does not last… Euphoria is meant to get two people together, so you can have something greater. In real love (love that involves choosing, and not a feeling) is so much better than the euphoric high when you first get with someone, allow yourself to mature in real love. Old people don’t have that euphoria anymore, they stayed married because they chose each other every day, that’s real authentic love. 5. Meant to be mindset, or soulmate mindset. The concept of being “meant to be” does not exist, neither does soulmates… You get with someone and you make a decision…trust that you made the right one (jon-abusive relationship, no constant cheating, no harsh disrespect, common morals and values). I see all this to say, it gets better!!! The person who are referred to as my “boyfriend” throughout this paragraph is now my husband, you got this!!!!

Is it normal to find your partner boring? Or thinking of being with him boring? I don’t always find him boring but I’ve just been overthinking my feelings so much that I can’t seem to feel like I used to for him. I’ve never really thought of boredom with him just came out of nowhere cause of how much I’ve been thinking. It just felt like being with him in the future will be boring or everything we do will be boring and nothing will get rid of the boredom. I don’t wanna find that excitement with anyone else I wanna get rid of the boredom in my relationship but it feels like I need to leave my relationship and find the excitement somewhere else but I seriously don’t wanna think of finding the excitement with anyone else.

So I’ve managed to stop myself from deliberately imagining the intrusive thoughts to test myself pretty much all day, but I’ve been feeling miserable all day and still feel like I’m evil and that it might be true that I like the feeling of acting on that evil thing and it’s really scary and horrible I just want to feel normal but now it feels like I’m actually evil and will eventually be evil. It feels like as long as I think about the thoughts I will want to do that or it will feel like I want to or would like the feeling of acting on it 😞 I’m genuinely believing I’m bad or like the feeling of doing that

I was playing a game and it really made me furious but i took it out on myself and I decided to just stop playing for the day. I always get intrusive thoughts of this happening but it happened. Sometimes when im really pissed off i just take act out the anger. This doesn't happen often, in fact it's really rare but I instantly regret it when it does. I hate being extremely pissed off like this

i keep accidentally looking at peoples private parts and i don’t mean to but i just happen to glance and i hate it because i feel like i make them uncomfortable. like yesterday my friend was talking about how her shirt made her uncomfortable because it was low on her chest and i glanced down there and i feel so bad cus i made her even more uncomfortable than she was before. i naturally keep my eyes to the floor but sometimes my end up on someone’s butt and i have to look up and tell myself how horrible of a person i am that i did that.

Where are you on your recovery journey? I would love to hear from you today! Brand new to the idea of OCD, just starting out therapy, currently in therapy, or maybe out of therapy and utilizing your ERP skills on your own?! I'd love to know!

2 years ago on my birthday my guy best friend hugged me and kissed my forehead- i was taken a back because it just felt weird 😂 but i forgot about it till now he did the same to me and my best friend another time two years back and again i was like “what is this guy doing” 😂 but we didn’t think deep into it and carried on with out night I was dating my now boyfriend at this point and i never told him my friend did this? Ive really distanced from this guy friend now as my ocd has really made me overthink everything and i was to be as respectful to my boyfriend as i can Is this something i need to confess (because i currently feel so sick and anxious) 😭😭😭😭

I don’t do ERP with my therapist anymore because I’ve toe cords and know the process/what I need to do like the back of my hand. And essentially, I’m a big, annoying troll to my OCD/my mind. Just to shake the house, I did a random contamination exposure: I went to the bathroom and did not wash my hands afterwards. Then I went to bed. I know I didn’t get many hands dirty because I used extra toilet paper, but you know OCD’s going, “But what if?!” Yes, what if, what if—what if is right, OCD. But I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to bed while you make my hands tingle and my skin crawl from “dirtiness”. I know you very well, friend—every step you think will make me cave in, I know it—and I just ERP’d you 😜