Welcome to
the NOCD Community

My husband told me in a text he wants a divorce…. We were already talking about it but yeah pretty intense. Sorry for all my marriage posts. Just grateful for the community here.

Has anyone switched therapists? I had a terrible meeting with my therapist and it makes me not want to do the therapy anymore. I feel like they lost hope in me, and that's not a good working therapist client relationship. I signed up for therapy because I need help, so I dont want to leave. Its just frustrating

What is it like to not have OCD or an anxious mind that is frequently ruminating? What do people like this think about? When they go run errands or are driving, what is on their minds? I've realized how I'm usually worrying about something--to the point that it makes me wonder what my life would be like if I didn't. What would I notice? What would I think about? How would I feel? I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of listening to that mean voice that says I'm not good enough & that there's something wrong with me. I'm tired of feeling down, sad, & anxious. I want to be without all this mental noise, without this feeling that I have to be worried about something or fixing something about myself. How would I behave if I didn't have OCD or an anxious, worrying mind? I think we can all benefit from asking ourselves this question and focusing our energy on making it happen.

Has anyone dealt with slightly swollen lymph nodes? I keep being worried that I have cancer/lymphoma. I’ve had a swollen lymph node on right side of neck since last year. It’s small can’t be seen. Got an ultrasound, doctor said it’s not significant in size and looks normal. This was last year in October. A week ago I went for a yearly physical exam and doctor said there is another small node swollen on left side. She’s not worried and she told me to check back in a few months. She kept mentioning it could be due to sickness, infection, mouth inflammation or something random like that but I have not BEEN sick or had an infection or anything. I’m freaked out has anyone experienced anything like this? I constantly tend feel them to see if they’e still there too. Headaches run in my family my sister and mom get bad headaches and I never got them but for about 2 months now I’ve been having SEVERE headache/pain when I move my head and feeling generally sleepy / tired throughout the day. I’m scared.

I am just so frustrated right now. I’ve been in ERP with NOCD for almost five weeks and I can see a little progress but yesterday I got triggered and did not handle it well. I couldn’t stop crying and today I am struggling too. Is this apart of recovering? Ups and downs like this??

Hello. Is there anyone who has both soocd and rocd?? I think I have both and right now with my soocd, I am afraid that I will just get up one day and decide to experiment or I secretly want to. But I don't and I have never actually wanted to even when my soocd got bad but now my brain is telling me to do so and I am afraid I will follow it and do so. Is there anyone who goes through this??

I am new to NOCD and I have been really battling to understand and accept ERP. I feel intense sadness all day everyday, I feel no relief from feelings of intense depression, which is probably caused by the OCD. I can't fathom how I am supposed to just accept this state of depression and constant fear and not allow myself any room for trying to fix myself. I want to fix myself, I want to get better, but apparently I am not supposed to feel that, I need to say that maybe I will get better or maybe I won't. I am not supposed to do anything and I just can't understand it. Please help

My SO-OCD is morphing into another sexual theme now, love that 😍😍

I suffer with harm and intrusive thoughts about my children. Sometimes I'm good sometimes I feel like a crazed woman. I was trying to put my 2 year old to bed last night and I was so scared something was going to happen but I fought through and my son was being wild as always lol and jumping on my belly and I had my hand on his chest for support and then he moved and I scratched him right below his neck on accident but when I woke up this morning I felt like I did something bad. This constant worry is driving me mad. I know deep down it was an accident but my OCD brain wants me to think it was intentional. Can ANYONE RELATE/? I FEEL SO ALONE

I'm a girl interested in men and I've had a close female friend for about 10 years now When we were younger, we used to like exactly the same things and bond over them. I'm older than her, so I kinda took the role of the "older sister" - listening to her vent, help her find a school and so on Now she's sort of drifting away and having her own interests and stuff, while I feel like I'm stuck in place and with nowhere to go About a month ago my SOOCD started and I immidetaly started to think about her because we are/were besties. The thought that triggered it was "Jesus I'm acting with her like we're platonic lovers or something" Through this period I isolated myself from her and I'm morbidly scared that I've ruined a great friendship My OCD makes me think over and over about whether this is some kind of platonic/QPR type of relationship that I wasn't aware of my whole life or just a friendship I couldn't keep myself from googling and I think it may be closer to something platonic. The thing is that I don't want any platonic relationship with her or any girl. It affects my thinking about boys, because when I see a attractive guy my thoughts immidetaly jump to "what if you love your bestie and would ruin your boyfriend's life" I'm trying not to break my friendship so I write messages to her from time to time (before the SOOCD I used to do it literally 24/7) and I'm super anxious about the future. I can't write to her normally without any weird feelings now, and when I don't talk to her I'm afraid that I'm gonna lose her. I feel jealous when she goes out with other friends, everything reminds me of her somehow and I can't move on with my day I feel like I should end this because of all these thoughts. Or at least limit my contact with her to just make her one of my many friends. But I'm just so afraid of whatever may happen and what if I ruin a beautiful friendship? I'm writing this to vent, but also I wanna know if anybody had a similar experience and how it affected your life. Thank you in advance

Hi there! I’ve just recently received my OCD diagnosis and found out that I’ve just been raw-dogging OCD since I was a young child. Im considering taking medication to help me and my therapist suggested Zoloft. Has anyone taken Zoloft for OCD/anxiety? Any side effects that I would want to be aware of from personal experience? Thanks !!

Hello guys quick question, I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend now for 8 months coming up to 9. Last night and nights before I had dreams with like girls who aren’t her is that bad and does that mean anything I feel like if I didn’t have ocd I wouldn’t think twice about it. Like am i unfaithful and I can’t tell her and I just feel guilty.

I am so upset. I really always knew somewhere deep down i wasn’t a terrible human being but over the past 2 weeks something changed, i stopped having anxiety drastically and now have much more difficulty not believing thoughts. it feels like they are real. and i just don’t understand how i could be so repulsed by something the day before this happened and now feel nothing, i’m terrified. i’m 17. i feel like it’s all over. i’ve had periods where i lost clarity before but they came back but for the past weeks i’ve just been stuck and i can’t cope and i can’t explain it and i’m not sure what to do. i feel like these past 2 ish years of dealing with it are all a lies. but it just doesn’t make sense, i want to feel disgust not clarity? and now i feel no hope. i was supposed to get a diagnosis soon but it just feels like everything changed so quickly. how is this possible? im so upset and i can’t breathe or think and im terrified all at the same time as feeling nothing. it doesn’t feel like back door spike it just feels real. im a lost cause, i can’t do this anymore… i wanted to be good and now i feel like im what i feared. please help? i don’t know if this is ocd?

Im scared to take my OCD medicine even though I know it can offer me a way out of OCD. Every day my distress levels are so high so idk how I will be able add something else onto it. Can anyone offer a success story or something positive that happened since they started meds ?

My boyfriend and I are together for 5 months now. He has a lot of girl friends. In his group of friends but outside of it as well. I do know some of them because I’ve been to his friend group before. Now does he chat with some girls, I looked them up and there girls from school a couple of years ago, he’s working now. When I ask him about it he tells me the story and stuff and says I can ask him anything. But I have this feeling when he’s on his phone around me and is texting he doesn’t show me. He isn’t on his phone much when he’s around me, from the beginning he’s not. He’s really sweet for me and a lot of girl friends like him and are good friends with him. He’s introvert and doesn’t speak as much. When we first got together he also texted with a lot of girls, he said those were friends. What can I think about it? It makes me worry sometimes, my ex boyfriend cheated that’s why. (He does know that).

It’s super bad in my house right now. As I’m sure many of you have read, I’ve had some yucky marriage problems. Long story short, my husband feels disrespected by me for still wanting to do Botox when he doesn’t support it (we agreed once a year before marriage, and I asked for that compromise specifically because it is something I want to continue doing). Now that we’re married, he says okay well now it’s a NO. I haven’t even done it since November so idk why this is coming up. Maybe I am selfish and self centered for fighting for this rather than submitting to him. Anyway, now it’s turned into him saying that we’re only roommates, he doesn’t want me to feed him anymore, clean his laundry, buy his groceries. Told me I should’ve stayed single and I should start acting like a wife and a decent human being, should’ve kept the rings when he broke up with me the first time and just left me, etc. I feel pretty stuck and I’ve honestly felt stuck so many times since we’ve gotten married. I love him and he’s my bestest friend, but I feel relief when separation is discussed. I just don’t really know where to go from here. Counseling has already been discussed, he wants to go to the church instead. I’m nervous because I feel like I’ll hear again that I’m not submitting and I’m being a bad wife. Maybe it’s true.

This theme hurts me the most because it’s something that is completely out of my control. It’s about the human mind, people’s feelings and personalities, and the world itself. I feel like I’m constantly reaching in my mind for something more, something that makes sense, etc. The conclusions I come up with make me anxious and depressed..like everything is just so predictable and I’ve figured out the world and everyone else is just in la la land and things seem pointless? Another thing is what if my brain is just broken and forever confused. This is a theme that I can’t seem to make sense of or reason with. I’ve suffered from harm OCD before but I was easily able to conquer that because I KNEW I could never harm anyone, would never have the desire to or anything. This current theme I truly don’t know about because it just doesn’t make sense. And it kills me.

I get very anxious when I forget someone’s name or a memory that I can’t remember. I spend a lot of time searching until I find the name and memory. I purchased a 360 pages notebook to write down names and memories so I won’t forget; it temporarily relieves my anxiety. I have always had the urge to remember names and memories but I didn’t have anxiety until now. My first panic attack happened 4 weeks ago due to forgetting a person’s face and name. I hope someone can relate to this or help me understand what’s going on. I booked the 15 minutes free consultation. I’m feeling sad, scared and exhausted!

I have the absolute worse accidental pregnancy ocd. My mind will convince me I could be pregnant even when I have not yet engaged in sexual intercourse. I am constantly terrified in any situation that there could be pre cum or sperm that it will make me pregnant even when I have not ever had sex. It disrupts my entire month that I will take pregnancy tests daily until I get my period or I know I am not pregnant for sure until an event spikes it again the next month. I’m not sure what to do. It’s the absolute worst fear and I feel will wreck my relationship. It sometimes makes me wish I never was in a relationship so I know I just know I am safe. Has anyone else experienced this or done anything to help them get over this?

To the ones who have been working with their OCD for awhile now and feel somewhat experienced in handling symptoms, I have a question… If you could go back in time and tell your younger self (pre awareness of your condition) one thing, what would you tell yourself to help with your condition? I have no means to treat my OCD, and only have just joined this app and acknowledged my condition and my, now, desperate need for help. Anything will help and I honestly am needing some sense of community to feel less alone. Thank you for everything!