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Any automotive techs here with OCD?

Lately I’ve been hearing that criminality is a social construct and people agreeing and explaining and it’s super triggering with my sensitive ocd brain because then I start thinking my harm and horrible ocd thoughts are going to come true and that I’m going to start thinking it’s ok to do bad things ugh😭

I struggle with taboo themes, so I'm usually always depressed (diagnosed with major depression) and I lost interest in things I used to enjoy (going outside, drawing, even music) I get triggered sometimes doing fun things because I get intrusive thoughts , and also thoughts that I don't deserve to be happy so I usually just stop halfway through. I've been trying to workout daily and I don't feel happy or like Im doing anything really. I've been in a tough spot since August of 2022. I'm used to being alone,but my family has started working longer shifts so I'm alone at home more than usual. This is scary for me, and also makes me feel like lazy garbage because I could be out with a job like them if I didn't have such bad anxiety. I wish I was normal. I wish I was like my friends who have stable mental health, money, a car etc. Then again even if I did have those things I'd still feel empty. I feel stuck and don't see a point in life sometimes if I'm suffering every day and I have to do the most just to feel okay. My theme will always just make me plummet and feel like I'm not worth anything no matter what.

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming binge eating? I know it doesn’t have much to do with ocd but I did have an unhealthy obsession with eating “right” and would avoided a lot of food on fear of gaining weight. I realised this was unhealthy and I fortunately when I stopped I ended up binge eating and gaining lots of weight back I can feel myself falling back into binge eating again and I don’t even know why I do it it feels almost like a hobby or comfort but I just don’t wanna be fat anymore. What can I do to control this unhealthy habit?

Hello there. So I have harm OCD thoughts about hurting people in general, but they started out as targeted toward my mom, whom I love with all my heart and have a great relationship with. I was starting to feel better after months of struggling, the anxiety associated with the thoughts has lessened. However, the fact the anxiety isn’t as present is freaking me out. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that my meds and ERP are working or if I am becoming okay with the notion of killing people. I keep freaking out because the thoughts about my mom have returned and are really detailed scenarios in which I kill my mom. I don’t want to hurt my anyone, let alone my mom. But every time I tell myself I know i don’t want to do these things, it’s always followed up with, “What if I do want to?” Sometimes my thoughts will even say I want to. But I don’t, but these thoughts come in anyway and I question if I want to no matter how many times I say, “I don’t want to hurt anyone ever.” “What if I’m in denial?” “What if I’m planning?” “Why isn’t there more anxiety like before?” “Am I purposely having these thoughts or are these automatic?” I’m getting really bad suicidal ideations from this because I’m so scared that it is not ocd and I need to take myself out of the equation before I hurt someone. I can’t not say to myself, “I don’t want to hurt anyone ever” because I feel like if I don’t , I’ll suddenly become murderous. I’ve never hurt anyone, I consider myself to be a kind and gentle person, but these thoughts are making me question every aspect of myself. I appreciate any insight anyone may have. I understand this may be triggering to read.

i feel like no matter how hard i try to explain how i am feeling about my current thoughts, im just overthinking everything. if i start to feel bad i get intrusive thoughts that im lying to myself or doing it for attention. its so hard to ask for help when im the inly one having a strong reaction. im not sure if that makes sense but i don’t know what else to do.

You may be thinking that you should or shouldn't tell your significant other the specifics of what your OCD thoughts are. With this, there is no right answer and the choice on whether to share or not remains with you and you alone. Personally, I did not feel the need to share my thoughts with my significant other and how some of them involved them. Another person may decide that they would like to share those details with their significant other. Whatever you decide to do is okay as long as your partner is supportive and understanding on this journey. Have you shared details about your intrusive thoughts with your partner?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, also known as the disease of doubt, has a very crippling effect on an individual's ability to function at its worst. This seems to happen especially when the individual's obsessive-compulsive disorder is thematically related to violence, sexually inappropriate thoughts or other taboo topics. When the vicious circle progresses far enough, a person no longer necessarily knows himself at all, is not sure of who they are or what they want. I believe that the background of obsessive-compulsive disorder, like the background of mental health problems in general, is a feeling of disgust and revulsion towards some thought, scenario or self. The way in which obsessive-compulsive disorder manifests itself, especially in the so-called "pure o" form, is very complex, because the individual disgust-inducing thematicity manifests itself not only in thoughts but also in the form of feelings, temptations and physical sensations. In some cases, however, this goes so far that the person's beliefs about his own integrity begin to decay and the feeling of hope and the meaning of life disappear. The idea can be clarified analogously to Nietzsche's thoughts on belief systems. As a result of obsessions and other repulsive thoughts, feelings and temptations, a person's belief system about his own integrity begins to collapse, but when the belief system collapses - the belief in that belief system itself collapses as well. When it no longer seems meaningful or possible to believe in the realization of a familiar and safe belief system, there is also no hope for anything better. So there is no longer even hope left for a meaningful whole of self, which drives a person to deep anxiety and depersonalization, which in turn begins to displace a person from social relationships and from all meaningful activities that a person is used to enjoying and creating meaning for his life based on his own complete self-concept, which is no longer felt to exist. Any thoughts or similar experiences on this?

I was wondering if anyone else is experiencing what I’m experiencing right now. So I get like super obsessed with like shows and celebrities where I shut out the whole world and stop doing things I should be doing, and then I like research about them or just watch videos about them. I saw something saying it’s like hyper-focusing I’m wondering if it has something to do with my OCD or anxiety. Does anyone else have this happen to them?

I am so tired. I feel incapable of relaxing and just filled with anger and disgust over how powerful my OCD feels. I feel like a victim and that makes me even more angry because I don’t want to feel that way. My pride and ego are popping. Ocd runs in my family. My mom and sister and I struggle in different ways with it. My mom had an eating disorder as a young person and is better but now it mostly manifests in her needing order and perfection in the house and mentally in some cases. My sisters ocd was mostly about contamination and fear of the unknown. Hers was really bad, one time I witnessed her peeing herself in the name of needing to do a compulsion. CBT helped her a lot. I say all of this to say that my OCD has always felt less explicit and thus gaslit within myself. It first started when I was a tween, I would check if the door was locked several times before feeling satisfied, I had to wear the same pair of pajamas every night, I would journal the same sentences nightly about what I was grateful for, had to do a series of facial expressions in the mirror before taking a shower and my room was always pristinely organized. My main fears were about safety and throwing up. They then became more abstract as I got older; I developed self harm OCD and sexual orientation OCD. Then I developed existential ocd. I would say I mostly have pure O now. So much so that I obsess over if I even have ocd! What that even means. I definitely have relationship ocd as well. I can obsess over people so quickly and it makes me feel crazy. I know they aren’t thinking about me as much and as in depth as I’m thinking about them and that makes me feel pathetic. My ocd gets in the way of me being present with people because I’m mentally preoccupied or compulsively confessing. I hate to think that I use people to feel better. Ok I could keep going but this feels like a good start. I guess I’m here because I really just don’t want to waste any more of my life this way

My heath anxiety first started when I had my first panic attack. After having my panic attack I was anxious I was going to experience it again because the first time I thought I was actually dying. I remember feeling like my heart dropped. It left me so scared I didn’t want to feel it again which got me so anxious over everything. I would get chest pain everyday and it was hell. After months of being anxious I meditated and found ways to take my mind off it for a little and it slowly went away. I was so happy without it. But then it all came back to me like a couple months later. I’m guessing because I had a conversation about the black hole and how they were talking about dying and that got me really anxious. That night the same chest pain came back to me again. This time I felt left arm pain. And this made me so mad. After months of struggling trying to get away from this and managing to do so only for it to come back made me so upset. And now I’m here again with slight chest pain and constant left arm pain. I don’t want this to be something I struggle with my whole life I want to get away from this. I’m thinking about trying medication but I’m just so so upset I’m going through this again.

Just for background info, I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks since I was around 16. I’m currently 25. I’ve struggled with OCD for the last 5ish years. It started as a what if I hurt my husband or my animals and then spiraled into nonstop intrusive thoughts that lasted every day/second for several months until I got on Zoloft which seemed to help a lot. The thoughts ranged from harm thoughts, being possessed, being schizophrenic, going into psychosis, losing control/my mind, etc. then once I started the Zoloft and saw a psychiatrist that told me I was experiencing OCD, I felt much better about not being insane and that took a lot of the anxiety away. Well 8mo ago, we welcomed our first child into the world and it was a fear of mine when I became pregnant that the OCD would latch on to my baby. I just knew I would get intrusive thoughts. Well to my surprise, my OCD mainly stayed at bay and I haven’t had any spirals in a really really long time. Wellllll, then I see the Clancy case in the news and it sent me into a downward spiral. So fast. And I tried to help myself by reminding myself “it’s just the OCD, you know what this is. This isn’t you. You wouldn’t hurt your baby” but I couldn’t help but continue researching this mother and comparing myself to her and trying to find similarities. Constantly ruminating in my head to try to figure out what drove her to do what she did and if I’m capable of the same. It has just been very dark in my head and so consuming. I feel guilty when I look at my baby. I feel like a terrible person/mother. The thoughts are just out of control once again. I sometimes have moments of happiness/normalcy and not thinking negatively but it’s almost like I’ll “catch” myself feeling normal and not anxious. And then boom, intrusive thought. It’s almost like I won’t allow myself to be happy and feel normal. It’s so draining. Anyone else struggling with something similar?

whenever there’s somebody in pain, i physically cringe. i scrunch up my face and shut my eyes really tight so i don’t see it, but i’m still scared. today, my mom somehow injured herself, and i’m in the room with her reading my book. before i sat down, she winces from the pain and i feel like i was about to laugh. i told myself i wasn’t, but now i’m really scared. i’m terrified of my mom dying. but i’m even more terrified of what my reaction will be. what if i don’t care? what if i laugh at her when she’s on her death bed. i feel terrible. she’s in pain and i’m so terrified i’m laughing at her and enjoying her suffering. so much so i have to look away from her when she moves. i hate seeing her face when she’s like this.

It's always tiktok that gets my ocd triggered

I really struggle with ROCD and have done for a long time. I and my current boyfriend are in a long-term relationship for almost a year now. I feel like my ROCD ruins everything. From the first date, I was like "do I even like him" when I fully well knew that I did. He is the most handsome happy boy ever. and I feel like ocd has ruined me. I don't even remember what I was before it. I struggled with thoughts in my previous relationships that I don't love them, which turned out to somewhat to be true for reasons other than the ROCD. However, my ROCD has been constant with my current partner, and last night I made a mistake. His best friend messaged me, and for some reason, I have the incapability to be straight up and push someone away. He was being extremely sexual with his messages but whilst deflecting - I never clearly told him to leave me alone. I ended up spilling a few of my feelings to him around our relationship, and it was quite sensitive info- around sex and things. I don't know why but I feel as if I am so easily led - like anyone could get anything out of me. I told my boyfriend this morning and sent him the messages but I feel at a loss, he hasn't replied about them yet. It's been 3 hours. I don't know what to do, I love him. I cannot physically go on with these thoughts. They affect my relationships every time, I remember how much happier I was in the summer with him, we had amazing amazing times, and I would give anything to just erase the last few months. Do any of you have any tips on how to be more authoritative with other people and not overshare? I really hope we can recover from this.

Has anyone successfully recovered from deep HOCD?

is ocd linked to a lack of trust in the self? since we doubt everything so much. and is recovery about finding that trust, or about accepting a lack of it?

I've struggled with ROCD for the best part of 10 years, but I didn't know what it even was until maybe 3 years ago. I've yet to have the opportunity to work with an ERP specialist, but I go to talk therapy already and I've done lots of research into the topic. What upsets me is that despite all the work I'm doing and all the knowledge I have now, ROCD can still floor me completely. My boyfriend and I don't live together, and for the last week he was pretty unavailable to talk because he was preparing for (and going on) a sailing trip. The whole time I felt like I was missing a limb and I felt really pathetic about how much it was affecting me to not be able to talk to him. I'm pretty sure I have separation anxiety from my childhood so it would make sense, but it still makes me feel really pathetic and dependent towards him when I get this way. Anyway yesterday we were going to spend the day together finally and we were both really looking forward to it because we'd missed each other so much. But as soon as I got to his place I felt my brain overanalysing everything. He was being really affectionate and something just felt off or I was feeling bad for not feeling quite as affectionate as him. The whole day I just didn't feel like I could settle and it make me feel guilty and kind of ridiculous to not just be enjoying our time after looking forward to it for so long. He fell asleep before me and I was just battling so much anxiety in my head and I really didn't sleep well because of it. This morning he was in a really good mood talking about what a nice day it was yesterday and while I know there were many nice moments I just can't shake the guilt of the mental battle I was going through the whole time I was there. It really added fuel to the ROCD intrusive doubt of "should you really be feeling so miserable around the person you supposedly love the most?" Just so tired of fighting this fight.

Please, please, please help me name this if you can. Also, no trigger warning because it is not very graphic, however, I do detail compulsions in this post. This is an obsession and source of compulsions I have struggled with all of my life, and undoubtedly the strongest one. A brief explanation: I experience obsessions, compulsions, paranoid feelings and severe anxiety over the idea of some unknown being, in my home, being a threat to myself. Triggers: Doors, corners, the dark, being alone, depictions of eyes, noises. Intrusive thoughts: Scary figure, threats of violent physical harm to myself (not caused by myself), helplessness. specifically, it occurs with the concept of the space behind things I can’t see through; things like corners, shower curtains, and doors. I always feel as though I am being watched in my own home, even though I don’t believe I am; I always feel as though I am about to be attacked, and sometimes I fixate on different ways I might be attacked. Basically, I never feel safe because this is always in my mind and manifests in different ways. For example: If I have to open a door, at any time, in my own home, I will suddenly have the powerful intrusive thought of some ambiguous threatening figure, which feels like a character from a horror movie. I imagine it waiting for me on the other side and then I have to build up my own courage to open doors, go through thought processes, look around corners, check if I’ve locked the front and back door, and shower with the curtain open (and door locked), and sometimes I can’t even bring myself to overcome it. I am terrified of home intrusion, is that part of it? It also occurs alongside my symmetry obsession. I have to put blankets over any empty spaces like the space under the door and completely close my window curtains (even then, I don’t feel safe.) Also, if I have decorations in my home with eyes, I have to cover them all with sticky notes. I never feel safe in my own home. I never experience this in public. Fixating on being attacked in my own home by something always occurs alongside the compulsions. Ex: I might be alone and get the intrusive thought of someone stabbing me, and then, I can’t get it out of my mind. My anxiety immediately spikes, and if I hear any small noises at all, it could send me into a panic attack. Sometimes a noise is what triggers it too; if i hear any noise in my own home that I didn’t cause, I immediately feel like I am about to die. I always have to have my back to a wall in my home in some way, and even then, I just FEEL like something scary is in the space around me. It is pretty debilitating and I usually call my boyfriend so that I don’t feel alone at home, but I can’t always depend on him. Does any of this sound familiar at all? It would be a huge help to me if anyone could relate to this or even just help me categorize it.

Okay, so I’m freaking out because I don’t know if I’m spiraling or ruminating or if I actually am not in love. I was in a relationship for seven years. We were together from 18-24. I broke up with him because we grew apart, we had very different life goals, we had different beliefs, and we had different views. The breakup was so intense, so traumatic, and so devastating. We had a dog together and had lived together for five years. I ended up having to block him on everything because he was being abusive (emotionally and on rare occasion physically). He ended up taking our dog, and I haven’t seen either of them in about eight months. The relationship was traumatic and so difficult on my mental health. I became depressed and struggled through insane anxiety. I’ve always had general anxiety disorder, but it became worse towards the end. Current day, I’ve been in a relationship with the sweetest man in the whole world for the last six months. I love him dearly, and I can see myself marrying him one day. However, my ROCD has been so difficult. It’s been so intense some weeks, then for a couple weeks it’s totally fine? However, the last couple days I’ve been so stressed because I feel like I don’t love my partner. I feel that I love him, but I’m not in love with him. Sometimes I feel things that I felt in my last relationship that I feel with my current partner, and it’s a huge trigger. I don’t know if it’s because I am not in love with him, or if it’s because my anxiety is in flight mode. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. It’s in my dreams, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want to end things because he’s literally perfect, and I don’t want to hurt him. I want to be able to just feel in love with him. I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Is this just the norm? Is it normal to feel like you love someone but you’re not in love with them? I have no idea. I’m so scared. Someone please help me. :(