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the NOCD Community

or can it be something you’re very anxious about or fearing ?

So I’m 22. I’ve had OCD (like all subtypes) all my life, and have been in treatment and practicing mindfulness only for the past almost 2 years. Now, my ocd is manageable for the most part, although some days thoughts get sticky and ocd gets tricky. As I am on a journey of mindfulness, I hear weedz can assist with your spiritual awakening and teach you more about mindfulness. I DO NOT ever want to experience psychosis or hallucinations. I hear psychosis can lead to psychological disorders like schizophrenia in rare cases. But I’m still curious about 🍃. What is your thoughts or advice or recommendations? I’m not sure if I should try it.

Hi all. I am overwhelmed with a nudging, horrible fear that my father is using me to replace the emotional connection he had with my now passed mother. He makes innuendos and my OCD immediately starts barraging me with "One day he's going to try and rape you" and "He's sexually attracted to you because you look like her before she got sick." He says I'm one of the only people he has. He hasn't made any inappropriate actions and a lot of the NSFW "jokes" I excuse as him now having very good social skills. I just wish these thoughts would stop so I can be there for him through this shared grief without feeling scared shitless and disgusted at him and myself with no logical basis for it. I'm tearing myself and my family apart with these thoughts. They delve into "He probably raped you as a kid" and all sorts of past events that I can't verify as being "true" but can't rule out as "false" either. I just want to be able to love and support my dad without feeling disgusting, or like I'm leading towards something worse. Has anyone else had a similar experience? What did you do to find comfort or resolution? How do I stop being scared of and disgusted with my dad when he didn't even do anything? I don't want to tell him about these thoughts because I can imagine how horrifying it would be to hear your daughter tell you she's scared you're gonna rape her, but I can't tell anyone else either. I feel crazy. I feel totally alone. I feel like my OCD has robbed me of my dad.

I confessed to my girlfriend about things I did in the past and I feel like she's disgusted with me and is making her upset. Any tips on how to stop confessing? This is literally hell. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and guilt and feel the need to confess something. Am I not allowed to be happy and move on from my past without feeling the need to let everyone know and them thinking I'm a freak?

to start off i wanna say i dont have a therapist with nocd unfortunately :( okay so, i really like my therapist. shes cool n all but she doesnt believe i have ocd. ive told her about my trichotillomania, my countless breakdowns because i thought i didnt love my partner, my crippling anxiety because i think im cursed and im going to be sent to hell, my panic attacks because i thought i had colon cancer and breast cancer, my mother even having ocd but she thinks its all just from trauma because, well, shes a trauma specialist while i do have trauma, i just feel so unheard and havent brought up any of it again because it's disheartening and embarrassing to be shut down like that i mean i dont want her to lie to me but like. i really dont see how its NOT ocd if it isnt i genuinely feel like id go insane because i no longer have a reason for my behaviors and it would mean im just a crazy person but, what do i do? i dont really want to leave her because shes really nice and i have issues with abandonment but

I have difficulties with OCD and my themes seem to be interchangeable throughout the day. I’m 40 though and I’m only just getting diagnosed. Since they put OCD on the table and I know what my problem is now things are much better. For starters I have meds but also every once in a while, when I’m having a little worry, I can say oh, that’s OCD and it is a perfect solution. When I didn’t know what my problem was and for the 16 years (and counting) that it was diagnosed as schizophrenia I thought my worries were legitimate and I’d ruminate like crazy. Imagine believing you were crazy and actually having a schizophrenia diagnosis. Anyway thanks to the group and to everyone that shares their story. 🙌🙌🙌

Diagnosed recently, and it’s often painful to look back and see how undiagnosed OCD caused dysfunction and pain in my last relationships. Thank god, not in any externalized or controlling way; precisely the opposite. Paralyzing fear of potentially being controlling or abusive towards my partners, or that my anxiety would lead me to lose my mind, led to this horrible, drawn-out freezing up process where I felt like an empty shell of a person by the end. Just very afraid of affecting my partner in any way with my rapidly escalating anxiety, and then anxiety about anxiety, and then anxiety about how frozen I was by my anxiety. Looking back is really painful. There are so many what ifs, which I’m sure is common with breakups but it takes up so much of my day and lasts years. I worry that I tore myself down so much that genuinely wonderful and potentially compatible partners felt alone, and I worry that I’m doomed to night-long panic attacks and paralyzing anxiety in all future relationships. How do I let things go?

Anyone taking Lexapro? Thoughts? Has it helped?

Is there anyone that’s lost ALL attraction to the opposite gender. It doesn’t even scare me really anymore. It just makes me so sad. I feel numb towards men. I don’t THINK it used to be like this. I used to have crushes on guys, never a girl. and i loved that feeling. Now it’s all gone. Please. If anyone is out there with this. Please let me know I’m not alone. Please

I just got out of 6 weeks residential treatment on 3/30. I’m going back to shortterm inpatient today. I’ve been to the ER 5 times in 6 days. I am convinced I’m dying. I’m unmedicated because I’m scared to take my new antidepressants. I’m scared of serotonin syndrome. I’m scared of side effects. I feel like I will never get better. If 6 weeks of intensive treatment didn’t help, what else could? I would rather not wake up anymore if this is what my life is going to be like. I guess that’s why I’m going back to inpatient.

I just got verified to start therapy! Yay! I was so worried I wouldn’t have coverage.

Today I turn 51, and I'm so tired not from work family or the news. I'm tired of living like this Not saying I'm gonna off myself please don't get me wrong and I don't want to upset anyone. I'm just tired and if I don't wake up tomorrow that'd be ok. Does anyone else feel like this?

I've often been told by fellow Christians that sometimes God can communicate through feelings of "uneasiness" or "unpeace." So often I have feelings of uneasiness but other times it feels like anxiety. It makes it so hard to know what's what. Does anyone else ever experience this? Has anything helped?

In December I got triggered from someone mentioning something about dying in there sleep and I’ve never had this fear before then. I think it’s the fact that I wouldn’t know , and the fact that I could go to sleep and not wake up. but it’s gotten to the point where im wondering if I’ve been “preparing myself“ it’s changed the way I do so many things , like talk , the song lyrics I sing , even listening to singers who died. and watching movies , and everyday I mean everyday my mind tells me “ you’re doing this because you’re gonna die soon” and every time I hangout with people and not to be “ cocky” but people usually like me , and I make everyone laugh. It just makes me think of me dying and all of them reacting because im “ making new friends” to care about me because im gonna die. and I always imagine me in those videos of people posting about there passed friends/family and I full in depth imagine what people would say/post . I also struggle with numbers and things correlating it too “ when I’m gonna die” I don’t know how to explain the feeling i just used to never think twice that it could ever be me dying and affecting everyone. I’m sorry for the rant , I just truly don’t know what to do/think anymore. it’s hurting me so much :(

I’ve been struggling with health/allergy OCD lately. I’d love to hear some stories from everyone to help me cope and move through this.

Any wins in your ERP today? Please share.

Is this an ocd compulsion or is it normal? So i used to search on internet earlier as i got a thought but i stopped doing that with time and now i either post on here which i have reduced as a compulsion but the thing i still do is whatever may be the time or the place i write every thought down in my notes app and if i dont i feel anxious and cant sit still until i do and if i forget it i try remembering what made the thought come so as to write it down i may never go back to it and sometimes post on here but whatever may be the case i write it and i have obsessively written pages and pages in just an hour.. about the thoughts i get.. now i dont know if this is ocd related compulsion? Can someone pls guide?

Hi guys I started getting a thought “what if it’s not rocd , what if u just don’t like him and ur in denial “ how do I stop this

Any tips for intrusive thoughts about harming yourself ?

I have a severe emotional contamination ocd. 13 years ago I was on Zoloft. It helped. When I stopped, the OCD got so bad with each year that I wasn't able to function normally. After 7 years without medication, I started with Asentra again. Asentra is like Zoloft. It helps a lot with anxiety, helps me calm my overactive brain from thinking and worrying constantly. Even helps me cheat with my compulsions. I am not such a strict and rigid perfectionist any more. I can't imagine my life without the help from medication any more. Hadn't I started with the SSRI again last October, I don't think I would have made it till today. I would not be alive today. But both times, there are severe side effects. I feel like hypnotized all the time. My head feels like in a cloud. There is this pressure like someone was holding my head with their hands. I find it hard to motivate myself to start an activity or even housework. I have trouble focusing. If I have an appointment or meeting at a certain time, I am always on the brink of being late. I make it in time, but at the last second.I hate that. That's not me. I can't make myself go to bed and fall asleep. Since I've been on 100mg, I've had many nights when I didn't fall asleep at all. My doctor gave me another medication, Kventiax, which is antipsychotic, but in very low dose helps with sleeping problems. I only took it before sleep 4 times. Which makes only 2 pills of the lowest dosage. I fell asleep,even remembered some vivid dreams, but the following day I couldn't keep my eyes open. Every time I made at least 1 day break between taking the sleeping pills, every time the same. If I had to go to work the next day, I would get fired for not being able to function properly. If I don't take the pill, I don't sleep. If I on purpose leave out and not drink Zoloft on a day, that night I go to sleep much earlier and sleep ok even without Kventiax . But the next day, OCD gets stronger. Both times, last time, years ago and again now I have gained weight since taking Asentra = Zoloft. I just 6 months I gained 10kg. I don't sleep, I am exhausted, when I am tired instead of going to bed and sleep or prepare a nice meal for myself, I can't move and just eat tons of sweets. How can I stop this vicious circle? My doctor is not very cooperative. I see her only 1x in a month and a half. In between meetings, I am not supposed to bother her unless I feel suicidal. I haven't slept in almost 2 months, have gained 10kg, am exhausted to the point I don't know how to function anymore, but when I told my doctor, she gave me the sleeping pills and that is all. She mentioned another medication as a possible alternative for Zoloft, but it is not being manufactured any longer. I sent her an email, told her that, asked if we could try sth else, but as usual, no answer from her.It's been over 3 weeks. I need to wait till 8.May 23, when I have the next meeting with her. Even then I know she won't do anything to help. There are only 2 psychiatrists around here and the other one is full. I can't live without medication. But it is almost impossible to function when I am on it. IS THERE SOMEONE HERE WHO COULD GIVE ADVICE WHAT TO DO? IS THERE ANOTHER MEDICATION, THAT DOES NOT CAUSE INCREASING THE WISH FOR BINGE SWEETS EATING (WHEN NOT ON ASENTRA, I COULD GO DAYS WITHOUT TOUCHING ANYTHING SWEET), DOES NOT CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN, INSOMNIA AND DOES NOT CAUSE BRAIN FOG? THANKS IN ADVANCE.