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In past few days, it looks like I'm getting better but still have intrusive thoughts

Who has multiple diagnosis besides OCD here? And how did it affect your Therapy? I have OCD, Generalized Anxiety, and Depression. I would like to listen to how other people have dealt with their multiple diagnosis on this platform.

i have this uncontrollable urge to say terrible, disgusting things out loud. now i can’t remember the way i said something out loud and i think i may have said something disgusting. i talk to myself out loud constantly to distract from my intrusive thoughts and i feel like i can’t even think anymore without mumbling. the talking out loud makes me feel contaminated and as if i must brush my teeth and wash my mouth out right after. my lips are so chapped and my mouth hurts so bad. i just triggered myself by saying something and im not home and i just want to cry. i feel like my whole world is crumbling i can’t do this

Been in a relationship and taking steps to get engaged, but still having anxiety and obsessions. I'm doing exposures, but feel like it's not enough for where we're at. I'm doing a poor job of instigating conversations about engagement, and that is leading to my girlfriend not feeling wanted/desired. I don't feel deep excitement and love, yet I am trying to move forward. I know deep down I do feel it, but my actions are communicating something different..I don't know what to do other than do more exposures and push myself harder...

I’m 25 years old. Never have been in a relationship with a female. When I think about it, it makes me very sad. I have an extremely low self esteem. It was brought to my attention by a couple of OCD specialists about the correlation between OCD and my fear of rejection. For example, if I get rejected, it would mean that that person is confirming that I am indeed worthless and should go kill myself, etc. This sick all or nothing thinking is probably a big reason why I haven’t been in a relationship. My therapist at the moment from NOCD is pushing me to interact with more women by initiating conversation but I am nervous about this. I keep telling myself I’m going to say something to someone but I always freeze up and make excuses.

Hello family. I am currently confused on how to do my recovery more effectively. I am accepting the thoughts and feelings and letting it be there and to not engage with them and I’ve done ERP to the point where I have little to no more anxiety when I have these thoughts . I know thought suppressing is bad, but I don’t suppress the thoughts at all, but i do suppress trying to compulse or argue against it or even ruminate. I then feel pressure on my head more and more after that and then I’m good without no thoughts and I move on. I’ve been doing really good lately but today I’ve been doing ERP saying ” you’re gay or you’re Bi” and i let it be without reacting to it and it brings me barely anymore anxiety but then a few seconds later I feel like the pressure on my head makes me need to say that phrase again to relieve the pressure even though I’m not suppressing anything about that thought but just me compulsive or arguing against it and then I feel like the certain thought like “ you’re gay or you’re bi” come up and then I do the same thing and allow it to happen and pass by but then it’s like it’s a whole cycle of it being the same phrase over again even though I’m not reacting to it.It’s like my brain is forcing me to have it on repeat even though I truly am not engaging in it or even if I don’t feel anymore anxiety. I just get confused if that’s ruminating and I just want to know what to do to stop it and engage in it, but wouldn’t that just be thought suppressing ?I just don’t want to do the wrong thing and thought suppress and make it stronger.it’s like my brain is confused if I’m thought suppressing the rumination or the actual thought. My brain just wants to keep saying anything over and over again just to release the pressure on my brain and I don’t it makes me feel like I’m thought suppressing the thought even though I’m just suppressing the arguing back to it. I’ve got good with not responding to the thoughts and letting them leave but something that distracts me from trying to feel the anxiety sometimes is that I get ear worm sometimes and then I have to worry about not giving that power too but also don’t want me having ear worm to become a compulsion to my thoughts and not engaging to it as well and trying to move on from both is hard and it’s distracting my progress. Anyone got any tips? I’m okay with feeling the thought and the anxiety but I just don’t know if my brain is on autopilot sending the same thing over and over again because It’s used to doing ERP sometimes all day but not for reassurance purposes to relive the anxiety or if it’s an actual intrusive thought and that’s why I don’t want to thought repress it but also don’t want to ruminate so I’m confused on what it is and how to handle this situation. I’m all about uncertainty because I’ve had suffered this for 4 years now and it went away for a year my second year having it and it goes away for a couple of months at times after that. Recently I’ve been trying to get closer to God and i noticed it got bad again at the same time for the last month and a half. I’m good with handling the anxiety and pressure because I’ve got used to dealing with it and it’s tried to go to different themes but I’m able to handle them and not react to it but I’m just struggling with my main one which is HOCD. I tell myself it’s worth the risk of it to get better than to get worst and worst and it’s true. I don’t need reassurance at all just tips please. God bless you all.Stay strong guys.

To start, I’ve had off and on chest pains on my left side for months now, I’ve had literally 6-8 EKG’s, 6-8 Triponin blood tests (checks your heart enzymes) and a chest X-ray and everything has been perfect. I’ve been very very anxious the last 3 days and this morning I woke up and was immediately anxious, then my chest started the aching again. I’ve been to the ER for this literally 7 times since march. They keep telling me I’m fine. They keep telling me it’s anxiety. I know anxiety can cause chest pain. The logical side of me knows this isn’t a heart attack, it’s been happening for so long, if it was imminent, I would be dead by now. But the ocd side keeps saying “what if this time is actually your heart?” It’s been on and off aching for 6 hours and my anxiety has been really high all morning, I’ve already had 2-3 anxiety attacks since I woke up. My pulse and blood pressure have been normal all day, I check them constantly. I keep telling myself “maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.” I’ll feel calm for a few minutes until the ache comes back and it starts the cycle all over again. I’m so tired of somatic symptoms. I’m so tired of living like this and constantly thinking today is the day it all ends for me. I’m so exhausted and sad and want to give up

Hello everyone, I have just downloaded the app so I am very new here. I have some things to get off my chest and I really hope someone could help me. I have had OCD since I can remember. The first panic attack I have ever had was when I was 4. I hate that it will never go away. It strips away my happyness and will to live. I feel like such a failure. I have so much potantial but this OCD always manages to destroy me when I am at my happiest. I have every OCD one could get but mostly I have existential and religious OCD right now. Couple of weeks ago I have learned about the concept of reincarnation and the "studies" that have been made on this subject. And I had a thought what if this were true, typical OCD behavior. And I had a full on mental breakdown. I went to the bathroom and locked myself in so know one can see me like this, as my family are familiar with this happening to me so I didn't want to worry them again. And then my mind wanted to plant these images of me being in a "past life". Basically telling me hey look these are your "past life" memories. Now I know that these are intrusive images but at that moment I felt like I was gonna faint from the symptoms. And then I looked up the mirror and my brain flashed an image of me in a "past life" also being infront of the mirror. It really freaked me out. I don't want anyone to tell me that it's true please I am not trying to be rude. I can't talk to anyone about it cuz I feel so ashamed and I also haven't found a therpist. So that's why I am writing here so you guys could maybe help me. Thank you for reading all if this. I just feel so close to ending it I can't take it anymore.

I’m new here! I just started, and I wanted to ask if anyone has any helpful ways to cope or take your mind off of the intrusive thoughts. I couldn’t sleep last night because of what I’ve been thinking about. (The following could be a trigger for anyone, especially anyone with existential OCD/death OCD) I can’t get my mind off of the inevitability of death and what comes after. I thought talking to my boyfriend this time would help like it usually does, but for some reason it really has a hold on me. I did manage to fall asleep, but the second I woke up, I got the intrusive thoughts again.

I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?

Anyone else get enraged at how much easier women can meet a partner than a man? A woman who is decently attractive has many men in her inbox on social media, while a man must stand out amongst all the other men who approach her.. does anyone else have a serious problem with accepting this, or maybe there is a different solution? I’m losing my patience.

After an incident last week that led to a panic attack, my OCD has become increasingly focused on the fear of having more. All my thoughts are focused on checking to make sure I’m not exhibiting panic attack symptoms, which leads me to start to panic, which leads to racing thoughts and physical symptoms, which leads to another attack. It’s a vicious cycle of not wanting to have another attack like this, but my brain is so focused on the concept that it’s all-consuming. I’m trying to treat this like any other OCD theme, but it’s just so hard. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced something like this before, but I’d love to hear from anyone willing to share.

Went out Saturday night with friends. Didn’t even black out. My bf was with me the entire time. I was dancing with my girls. A few guys came up but I didn’t interact with them. My OCD is telling me I kissed one and I don’t remember. I KNOW This isn’t the truth but my mind has made up the story that I DID in fact kiss them and in fact my bf will break up with me bc of it. My bf said I was fine, my gf’s said I was fine so why can’t I believe it. I’m trying to find videos from that night, anything to ease my mind. This is debilitating and all I want to do is sleep. Ugh, if I kissed someone I would have remembered it right?!?

Is there a name for fearing that you may act sexually inappropriate in public? That is, that you fear that you’ll feel the urge to sexually assault someone? I guess it’s like POCD but with adults. Does this fall into an OCD subtype or not really?

If you got a tattoo to help with your OCD. What would it be?? Just for fun.

Since Covid began I have not been able to be my normal self. I was never one to worry about germs. I washed my hands yes, but it was never a big deal or a huge worry that was on my brain. When Covid began, I felt as though I was hearing it from all sides at all times. My aunt, mother, and sister are all health care workers so I was hearing Covid horror stories straight from the hospital as well as what was talked about on the news. At first, it wasn’t a HUGE worry in my head until, in order to get me to be serious, my rather tough-love uncle told me I was going to be the one to bring it in the house and that he and my nephews could get sick and die from it. Well, it worked. I was horrified. And what I recently found out to be contamination OCD began. Slowly my rituals started. First with just washing hands and using hand sanitizer religiously. Soon though, my worries spread to the THINGS I may be using or touching prior to washing my hands. This led to me using ungodly amounts of Lysol on EVERYTHING. For context, I was a server/bartender at the height of the epidemic who was in school to become a teacher. I am now a middle school teacher which both jobs putting me in high touch high germ situations. So I would Lysol my phone after work only after vigorously washing hands. I would Lysol my car and the seats next time I got in it since I drove home from work in my “dirty” work clothes. This progressed to Clorox wipes. That is until I read the instructions and realized it takes 3 minutes of the product being on a surface to completely sanitize it. Currently it is alcohol on cotton balls for everything. I have gotten past spraying or wiping car seats and just resorted to treating getting home from anywhere as me having to change clothes and perform my hand washing/ sanitizing phone ritual. (When washing hands or cleaning things J repeatedly count to 20 as it is said that you should wash hands for at-least 20 seconds. So I have to count to 20 at-least 3 times)My purse and keys have a certain spot in the floor of my room, where no one will walk, as to not get any other area germy from them. My phone goes on a paper towel on the counter as I wash my hands using my counting numbers ritual. I then go get a cotton ball with alcohol and begin wiping the back of my phone again using my counting numbers ritual. I wait a few minutes and lift up my pop socket and perform the same alcohol and counting numbers ritual. Again, I wait a few minutes and wipe the screen. I then wash hands and go change out of germy clothes. I wipe the back of my legs with an alcohol covered cotton ball in hopes of getting off any germs I may have obtained from public restrooms or the one at work. I put on new clothes, braid hair back, and wipe face with makeup remover wipe. I wash hands again, scrub face with face wash using my number ritual, then wash hands again. I am then finally “free” from outside germs and feel safe in my home. This is every time I leave the house. No matter where I go. I am miserable and feel utterly powerless. My family doesn’t understand although I feel they were the ones who started all of this. My boyfriend doesn’t understand. They’re all bothered by how bothered by germs I am and honestly so am I. I’m tired of it and want to get better.

Anyone else struggle with existential OCD? I’m constantly questioning my reality or what’s the purpose of us being here…most days I don’t even want to get out of bed or eat…it’s getting too much for me to handle honestly 😣😢

I cant find anything about this on the internet, i found religious ocd and all that...but not what i have. I do suffer with some kind of obsession, i about how should a christian behave. Whatever i do i always have a guilt that this isnt what a christian should do... like i make jokes, i flirt with girls or just have fun, think about something and living my life. I just cant handle it anymore. I want to enjoy my life as a christian but i have guilt for wanting to behave how i want too... i even thought about losing my faith and move on without God... offcourse i dont want it but i cant handle this anymore, i do t enjoy my life constantly worrying about how should i behave or feeling guilt cause i maybe did a sin like watching girls, loving myself, care about how i look, want to be liked by girls and more... I think this is not ocd, it feels like i have desires of doing sinful acts and i dont want to not think about it or idk...

I know I’m not supposed to label my thoughts as awful or try to neutralize them / but being so aware of your consciousness that you question it daily is so disturbing to my day to day. Like reality questioning is not something I want to spend my day thinking about, but the thoughts are always there. I look at my hands and feel like I’m in a simulation or that everyone around me isn’t real. It’s strange and so frustrating, I know it’s just thoughts but they’ve become “reality” in a way because it’s all I think about. I’m trying to get back into my body again. I’m at the gym, I’m working, I’m socializing with friends. But that layer of thinking never goes away. I forget what it feels like to not be so aware, I’m afraid a door has opened that I can never close.

Super frustrated. Focusing on my wife's flaws. Are they just flaws or am I just not attracted. I see women with great bodies and I get a good feeling, but all I ever see is my wife's flaws. She's overweight, getting older etc. All of this goes on and yet the thought of leaving is also not something I want to do. I keep having thoughts and feelings that I am not attracted to her and that I'd be happier with someone else. I accept that I have OCD but I am also concerned that I am in fact not attracted to her, I never was etc and OCD loves to point out possible evidence of this. So hard to know. Would like to have myself back, but was this me all along and I just woke up?