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Sometimes I'm not feeling that anxious but when a specific thought and fear come up I feel paralyzed. I sit and write down my thoughts, I try to rationalize, sometimes search it online, and I am consumed by grief. It feels so real that I can't tell. If you ask me I really don't know, I don't have the "deep down I know it's not true" thing. I have other things to do but I can't focus on anything else. It makes me want to cry.

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing

I’m in such a depressed mood right now. I finally got two days off after being full time work and full time student and now that the semester is over I can have days off and I literally have laid around and slept because I’m really depressed. My mind won’t shut up about my fears and it’s scary. So I just lay around. I want to do things but I don’t because my motivation is shot down by anxiety and fear. I feel hopeless 💔

i just shared one of my intrusive thoughts with my mom for the first time. she looks at me, crying, and goes “that’s not normal, that’s not right, you need to get help” and now my anxiety is through the roof and i’m so stressed out. how donyou deal with this?

The thoughts always try to kick me down with things of the past that happened. Porn messed me up as a person. Not just as a teenager, or an adult, but as a person. I have a lot of guilt and shame about it. There's events I regret. But I'm just trying to focus on what I want to do now. The semester has come to an end, I'm planning to work this summer, and I hope to just take it easy. It's hard to have all of these thoughts, images, and feelings, and I'm just supposed to let them flow naturally.

Does anyone on here know of any natural medicines/supplements/vitamins to take to make ocd a little bit more bearable? I’m getting to the point now that I feel like I can’t function and I’m struggling so much. I’ve been on prescribed medication before and it doesn’t agree with me at all so looking to see if there’s any sort of natural aid that could help ease it a little?

Therapists or advocates here, or anyone else far along in their treatment who have OCD, depression and ADHD, asking for your help bc I feel terrible and dysfunctional. : I have OCD, depression and ADHD. I am in ERP therapy, therapy for depression and take pills for ADHD. I saw a Jenna Overbaugh video on Youtube about procrastination and OCD called "Can OCD cause you to procrastinate?" and all of it resonated. I don't know what's what though. And I understand that OCD wants us to "Get to the bottom of things", and I am not trying to do that: I legitimately need to know if I need to up my stimulant medication of ADHD, or if because that medication is making OCD so much worse, and I am depressed, that I am procrastinating more. (And I am not able to take an SSRI, Stimulant combo FYI.) How do we know what is OCD that needs more help, or ADHD? Or what's OCD vs Depression? I'm trying all the things, but I don't know which area needs more attention.

Hello I have been dealing with OCD my whole life. I have had every theme known to man and have gotten through it. I have relapsed pretty bad this time dealing with SOOCD TOCD ROCD I am a happily married mother of two. We live a good life. A month ago I had a super stressful time and felt a thought sticking.”maybe I’m really supposed to be a man because I’m so masculine” I felt it stick and I knew I was in for it. I always knew I had OCD but was afraid of treatment. The thoughts changed to you know your a lesbian you know you want to be a lesbian and your dragging your poor husband along who adores you and your not living your true self. I’m miserable these thoughts are so scary and I am constantly thinking about it. I always questions my sexuality because of OCD always liked boys and am in love with my husband. Some woman are hot and I would sometimes get intrusive thoughts and find myself looking at woman . It’s so confusing because sometimes I feel like that’s absurd then I think about times where I was acting a bit gay and it’s almost like confirmation that I’m not being my true self. It won’t stop ruminating, all day every day. I look up forums and experiences and see so many who explain my thoughts exactly and take comfort knowing ah this is just OCD But then I go back to doubting and questioning and remembering every weird thought or action and every woman I see I am checking. I don’t know what to do I’m scared and so tired . Just sucks that just a month ago o could have these weird gay thoughts and not care but now It’s almost like I have to figure it out. For a while I would say I’m Bi but honestly that never felt right. Being with a woman dosent feel right but I feel like my mind is creating this masculine personality where it seems so possible it’s hard to shake What does it all mean? I love my husband I want to be with him he is my best friend my soul mate . I feel like I’m ruining everything I always dreamed of.

I want to start by saying ERP has helped me immensely, especially with things that invovlve an action, such as fear of stabbing myself. That being said, I still struggle with some "truths" about existing. For example, we are all going to die, we don't know what will happen when we die, and we know very little about reality, etc. These and many other existantial thoughts can be very disparaging and make me fear that I will never love life like I once did. OCD keeps trying to convinve me that it is right and life is horrible and not to be cherished because of these existential fears. For those of you who have struggled with similar thoughts/fears what did you find worked best? I could be wrong, but I feel existential fears are particularly pernicious.

I am feeling absolutely hopeless that ERP will work. I am in a state of near constant heart pounding, restlessness, and my head spinning and spinning. I feel like it’s too hard and I can’t do this and if I don’t get this, I’m out of options and will end up in a mental institution. This is the most insane experience I’ve ever had in my 43 years alive. I have two young children and a husband that are my world and I just want to be free of this!! I want my old life back before I woke up like this on some random day. I feel completely hopeless and like I’m not supposed to reassure myself, encourage myself, etc. I just needed to get this out.

Hi all! I did 2 months of intense ERP and I have felt great for the past few weeks. Not anxious at all really anymore and the thoughts have reduced/don’t bother me. I feel so happy and free again. So now, I am asking for those in recovery —- how do you make sure you stay well and don’t relapse? Any tips? Thanks! 😊

Can ocd make you doubt if you really do want to do something Eg i had an intrusive thought earlier of kissing my father in law with an awful urge like i was seconds away from doing it! Initially i know i didnt want to do it, dont find him attractive dont see the point in doing it ect now im really questioning if i actually want to do it? Will i do it next time because now i want to? Can it confuse you like this to where it makes you believe you actually want to even though im still questioning i dont as never thought of it before this though

i skipped and avoided final exam last year and failed because of ocd now this year ive been okay until this month because final exam are 2 week away i have same thaugh of last year should i do skip and run again ? is it worth suffering exams that i already know im failing it ? which is more painful ocd or my family blaming me again for skipping "please dont tell me to face my fears and take exams because its not easy its impossible especially final exams policy where u can't leave class for 3hours straight i can't hold on that long I'll probably have heart attack during all that time"

Feels like I’m gonna have this for as long as I’m dating my boyfriend…. Feels like I wouldn’t have this problem if we broke up and I would be “free”. It just is hard because I’ve had these thoughts everyday for the duration of our relationship and even some months before that. So I’m not sure how our relationship is supposed to feel tbh. The thing that scares me is I feel like I’ve never been fully aware of my sexuality. I mean in high school I used to be sure I think? But in college something changed with me and I felt unsure then. Now I just feel like I don’t even know. Anyone else has been struggling with this since they got with their boyfriend ?? Or has everyone been super sure of their sexuality beforehand and then these thoughts came?

I have temporarily blocked the person I fell inlove with and it was a mutual agreement that once I have moved on I will be able to face him and continue being friends. Here's my BL Story: We were dating for few months that was started in feb this year. I used to chat him everyday as i'd like to tell everything what I did for a day and it was really smooth as he told how his days to me too. We were in the same Business Outsource company site but later on their campaign moved to another site a bit far from previous site. Before that , he told me that he will be out for vacation and he went to Siargao for a week, to breathe and to unwind. He gave me a souvenir and I a was very happy. Few weeks after we meet again and something intimate happened. Howver, Just last month, I've noticed something dofferent that he is not being so active in chat as my message hanged in question. Still waiting for a reply and so i sent him another message and said Hey, miss you. That moment he sent me a long message about his long unfaithful reasons. He told me taht he is confused if he still love his ex and in my surprise, he told me that there is another person involved which he think of a possibility to have relationship with. All the time it was only me thinking , i am competing only over with his past love. I was very sad hearing these reasons and i responded very emotionally. I told everything what i feel. he said sorry that it was his fault as he gave me chance at the beginning but he's unable to push through our dating stage towards relationship however he demanded to keep the friendships we have built together but ofcourse I tried to accept even if it is very painful in my heart We became friends but I think I was just so crazy inlove silently. This time i know somehow my limitations. He suggested that even being friends that we can still hangout together so he thought of going to visit my city as friendly date. We planned of going on Thursday as we have the same off. The day came.. As early morning he told me to see me and he will update me in the afternoon but suddenly he feels like not going due to Family issue and errands he had and he would like to rest. I tried to understand but I still made few adjustments just to pursue the date but he still didnt want it this time. He told me to change schedule by next week of Saturday. We were not okay because of what happened but still I agreed to continue making friends with him because i silently inlove him. (Tell me i am foolish😌) It was Wednesday before the date, and we had a small fight during the chat. Actually after he told me to think of me as his friend he put his messenger in inactive mode so I cant really know when he is online or not. I was trying to message him and gave another proposal, i had a lot of messages hanged on but he didnt reply and then suddenly he bursted out and get little angry of me telling me that I was acting a boyfriend but not a friend. I felt sorry if he thoght of this way when all I want is to share that something terrible happened to me. I got scammed of 12K pesos and I dont know whom I can talk with and its my choice to think of him. It was a maybe a bad day for him on why he cant reply immediately. I didn't chat him for a day and later he message me that He felt sorry for what he did and it is not his intention after all and I accepted his sorry. He told me that no matter what. Hed like to push through on Saturday date. The day came but the location got changed because he think that I have a conflict schedule in my part as i have team building after our friendly date so I did agree. We meet very early at 4 and had our starbucks and talk of everything in life. We walked outside and I began to ask many questions about the days that we were not okay, about anything love on why he rejected me. I know for a fact that i will get hurt but I was ready. I had many questions answered but still in bubble on why he was telling me that he didnt really like me at the beginning but why he let somethng happened to us. He answered but stil not clear. I have just accepeted the fact that maybe he tried but really I wasnt enough for him. The date went well but i still do feel very broken hearted. I have to realize that he cant love me back and win his heart anymore. I still feel obsessed over him and the next day, I messaged him and told him that as part of moving on, i would like to temporarily hlocked him and once I have moved on we can bring the friendship back. It is hard for me up to now as one time i tried to unblock to see if he is okay but i was blocked back. Moving on is the hardest part knowing that my OCD anxiety and depression is started to kick in 😔

I think i'm starting to understand a little bit of how ERP works. I guess my question is i've tried exposure Is therapy before. I've had difficulty with it because my ocd is purely Obsessional. So I guess what i'm saying is I don't have a physical thing to expose myself too. It's all mental it's all images and thoughts. How does ERP work in these cases? Any advice would be super helpful. Thank you -b

I want to beat OCD because I’m tired of worrying about if something has been contaminated with raw meat especially raw chicken after I touch it and spread the contaminates around.

From the time I was a small child I was labeled as crazy, off in the head and repeatdly told something is wrong with you by family and so-called friends. This was due to my counting rituals saying 12,12 over and over until things felt right and these actions would accor walking on the sidewalk and if I didn't step over a crack just right I would have to go back and say 1212 until things felt and the same happened with light switches. When I read the obituarys in the paper I couldn't look at " young ages" such 20 or 30 I would have to look at an older person's age and count 1212 in sets of fours until I felt I performed the ritual property. Then came trying to prove nothing was wrong me aka people pleasing all to no avail. Lastly I currently say prayers at 50 years that I have to say a certain number of time although not driving under bridge. This has been a lifelong problem and I admit I need additional help with ocd in conjunction with Wellbutrin. I'm at the point where I realized the 12 steps saying that I must acknowledge complete defeat to move forward. I ask all of you to pray for and allow me to join this fight against ocd

When I'm drinking caffeine, I feel great. Not worried at all during, but afterward, when I'm on the come down, I am get very anxious. Does anyone else notice this?