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Or is ocd chronic.

My ocd is so bad rn:( I saw old texts of me and my ex where I was being super mean and cussing and I felt bad, I always do when I see something of me doing smthng wrong, but then I remembered he did weird stuff that’s why I was acting like that. But I got this sad feeling in my chest bc of anxiety and worrying bc I felt bad does that mean I miss my ex? I know I don’t. But it’s giving me sad feelings and anxiety feelings in my chest. The thought keeps replaying in my head, what if I miss him? Or am I getting sad thinking about him? None are true. I’m just sad about my ocd. But it feels like I’m sad over him bc the thoughts keep replaying. I feel like I have to confess “oh I just got sad about my ex” to my boyfriend, when i literally didn’t. It just feels like it…. Like I felt bad then got scared bc I felt bad then the anxiety came and the tightness in my chest came and the thoughts keep replaying and so is the feeling. I know I don’t miss anyone, I only love and care abt my bf so why do I feel like this :(

I watch alot of videos about ocd, someone here recommended to watch Mark Dejesus, it helped me, but when he said many ocd sufferers have depression behind their ocd, i got triggered, cause depression is my fear. I fear depression cause i have dark thoughts and im afraid of suicide. So i did what he said, stopped doing compulsions and he said then the depression will get to the surface and i had a feeling that im not good enough. Then i started analyzing it, is this true or this is just ocd again, i know i had this feeling of im not good enough but this is the reason i have ocd or i have this thought cause of ocd... one part of me says i should discover this,this is the answer cause im afraid of depression and ive been avoinding it with ocd, and the other part says this is still ocd but what if not?... idk if im depressed or not, if that is underneath ocd or im just depressed cause ocd is mentally tiring...

Hey guys! I'm Brazilian, so forgive me for the google translator! I've had some pretty bad days. But I got better over time. I still have obsessive thoughts, but I don't have that anxiety anymore. I researched and identified myself a lot with the OCD of thoughts. I think I've had this disease since I was 7 years old, I just never went back to check. But since my condition got worse, I decided that I needed to know what I had. I started therapy, it's not cognitive behavioral therapy, but I trust it a lot, so I'm keeping it! But today I felt really bad. I went to the doctor for the first time. And even though I talked about OCD, he talked to me and told me that he treated it like normal anxiety. He also spoke in a way that it would be okay for me to be attracted to women, and that I needed to take medicine to see what my internal problem really was. But I don't think I have an internal problem. I actually moved out of my parents' house recently and that's why I started having obsessive thoughts again. I happen to have on several topics, but some are stronger than others. I've never liked a girl and I don't want to either. But when my doctor asked me if I was attracted to girls I said "I don't think so" I can't be sure. I know I don't want and I don't feel like dating them. Finally, a rant. Here in my country, it is a disease that is difficult to treat. I'm starting the medication today, taking Sertraline. If you have words of comfort, I appreciate it! Hug everyone and stay well!

So, I have been so happy with my partner recently. Our entire relationship in itself is just beautiful. We’ve been looking into apartments, we’re meeting each others families, and just spending as much time together as we can since we are long distance. He’s my second relationship I have ever been in and he’s also the first guy I will ever be doing this with like….ever. Every now and then I get the occasional thoughts of my abusive ex and I wish him farewell and blessings because I don’t hate him. I am in a space where even the OCD isn’t even important and neither is the trauma. But, today as I continue to look for apartments and decor and think about babies and every other thing me and my boyfriend have talked about, something in the back of my head keeps trying to… “creep in” (if that makes sense) to try and say but your trauma or what if your boyfriend isn’t even the one? what if you hurt him? what if he hurts you? wouldn’t it be easier to be alone? what if he’s not even your type anymore like what if he begins to be unattractive to me? Then it feels like I’m back at square one. My ex becomes the focus and I become the problem. It even feels like I am trying to insert him in places he doesn’t need to be in. While I recognize thinking of people from your past is normal, why does the person who caused me a whole bunch of pain and suffering get my brains attention at random and god-awfully horribly timed moments in my life where I have moved on and made peace with who I am and what I have been through? I feel so guilty because then I ask myself well do I still love my ex and it’s not true and even when I think about the pain even my ROCD knows it isn’t true. I just feel awful and horrible. I feel like the worst girlfriend and like I don’t deserve him. I’ve been through a lot and it hurts to even think that I may hurt him. I love him. Why doesn’t my mind just conform to that?

There's no limit to the intrusive thoughts, images, and urges that OCD can cause. They can attack topics from your family and loved ones to your own core values and identity. These thoughts can sometimes be violent, aggressive, or sexual in nature. As a result, people with OCD who experience thoughts they feel are "unacceptable" or taboo find it hard to share their experiences with others, and so many people often end up suffering in silence. If OCD is giving you thoughts, images, or urges that you find "unacceptable," you aren’t alone, and you don’t have to suffer forever. All themes of OCD are highly treatable, and you can learn to gain self-compassion and live with confidence in your values. Read more about how you can get on the path to recovery from OCD, even if you’re experiencing disturbing thoughts.

I felt so much better yesturday later in the day...but mornings have been so hard my fight or flight starts as soon as I wake up...my heart doesn't stop and I just start to throw up...my intrusive thoughts just start to try to make scenarios or images I don't want and make me feel like it's real but there not...I hate mornings I hate not being able to sleep comfortably anymore makes me think mybe I shouldn't deserve to be here anymore it's just so hard...

My ocd was about loyalty towards my gf every bad thought I had towards her had to tell her or felt guilty for thinking somsones better looking and have to tell her now I’m over that and in my next stage of ocd after help I feel overwhelming attraction towards girls I used to not be able to look at them for a year and now I feel bad and like I should be single if that’s how I feel

I was doing so great until the 30th came up. It's still not over yet. I'm stressed and beyond anxious and now I can't sleep. It's been a whopping 2 days since I haven't gotten quality sleep and I just feel like I've let myself go completely. It feels like I'm so drained and it made me go back to engaging in one of my worst habits more than once. I almost hit 30 days without doing it and now it's back. I know I can push to get there again but this week totally just messed everything up. How do you fight off sleep anxiety?

I think this is the hardest theme I’ve dealt with, it feels so real & the thoughts/sensations are so strong. The thought that really stumps me is when my OCD tells me that I don’t want to live anymore & that I don’t like the life that I have & it’s fueled by a ton of anxiety. If you’ve went through this & got through it please tell me how, I feel like I have to react to my thoughts or something bad will happen.

Why do the thoughts seem so natural like they feel as if they’re coming from me and I want them. I have little anxiety towards them anymore. It’s catch 22 I want rid of the anxiety because it makes it feel real and without the anxiety it feels real also

I’ve been feeling extremely depressed because of my existential OCD. Even when i think of recovery and therapy, i feel like “what point is there in going back to how it was, or finding joy in things” there are moments when I do get happy and in those moments a thought pops up like “what even is anything” “what is existence” or “is death even real” and i’m also getting intrusive thoughts regarding my own consciousness which also gets very weird. All of this is accompanied by dissociation and apocalyptic feelings. It’s been 2 months since my ocd relapse. I have gotten better but when i acknowledge my progress, once again i feel like there’s no point. these thoughts/ feelings don’t feel like OCD but as if i’ve discovered some truth of life and now nothing will be the same. I haven’t started ERP yet, my therapist and i are currently more focused on ACT, acceptance and commitment (which is often given along side ERP) I will start ERP soon but i think all i’ll be focusing on is how dumb it is, and i know it’s not but it feels like i’m convinced it isn’t gonna work. I know this is classic OCD but it feels like this. I also deal with hyperawareness ocd (thinking about thinking taking place) and it makes me feel like there’s somebody in my head when, it’s quite literally my own inner voice that i’m sort of producing (?) I feel like it wouldn’t let me focus during erp and it all just feels so hopeless. I’m a minor and my parents are against medication and they talk about it like it’s the worst thing in the world which has heightened my fear of meds. I’m so sad and done with all this

The hardest part for me is that OCD can exist and I can fight it but also my partner could still be cheating, regardless of OCD or not. By far the hardest part of OCD because what’s the point of fighting it if it can still all be true? Is there another way to think make peace of it? Like maybe… ‘if my partner is cheating on me, I will be okay.’

About 5 years ago, during my teens i had casual and sometimes unprotected sex with total strangers i met on dating apps and online. I don't even remember their names. I don't know how i could ever contact them since i never kept up contact with any of them, i also don't know how they would ever contact me since i cut contact years ago and literally have zero info about them and they probably have zero info about me. Long story short, since I can't exactly remember what happened in some of the encounters im afraid i maybe got someone pregnant and since i almost immediately cut off contact there was no way to know. Its been 5 yrs and this obsession hit me like a wrecking ball. Now im terrified i may have a kid out in the world that I don't know about, or at the very least that i got someone pregnant and never knew about it. This is eating me alive, help...

I feel like a fraud. Genuinely. It makes me feel so damn guilty. My boyfriend deserves someone so much better than me. I wish there was an easy way out of all of this.

Anyone else with real event ocd triggered by the Duggar documentary that is coming out? I can’t breath knowing how disgusting I am and that it can’t be undone. I’d have no friends or family if they only knew how horrible I am

Hi y’all sorry if this is an annoying post, but I’m super new to this and I’ve fallen down a research rabbit hole and I just need a second opinion. I’m not officially diagnosed, but as soon as school is over I’m going to my therapist and talk to her about it as I go to school in a different state than where I’m from. I’ve had anxiety my entire life, literally since I could remember and I’ve always really had bad rumination, but since I’ve turned 20 this year I’ve seem to have an onset of some kind where my anxiety has gotten worse and even more obsessional. Now looking back over my entire life I’ve probably have always had OCD or at least some OCD tendencies. So I’m going to share a list compiled of my experiences that I think show at bare minimum OCD tendencies and get a second opinion so hopefully I can have some more direction. Thank you all so much and I hope y’all have a great day. -I’ve experienced really disturbing intrusive thoughts ever since I was a child -I had a really bad religious OCD when I was a kid that caused me to having praying compulsions, when I watched those “this celebrity is a devil worshipper” conspiracy YouTube videos on early unregulated YouTube -most of my anxiety is based on ruminating about my past and experiencing a deep level of shame -i genuinely that feeling shame, anxiety, or that generally having poor mental health is a universal punishment for being a bad person -shame spirals -currently obsessively researching the difference between false memories and repressed memories. Which is causing a real or fake memory research down spiral -currently obsessively researching about OCD wondering if I really have it or not -I heavily relate to the moral or scrupulosity OCD -that time in high school I convinced myself I had a parasite because I ate undercooked bacon so for like a solid two or three weeks I always checked my temperature first thing in the morning and then multiple times a day and no matter how many times I checked my temperature it still didn’t feel like it was “right” or correct -I had a health obsession this time with autism and the constant research and self testing and I felt like I had to do them over and over again to obtain relief -I’m a hoarder -that one time when I was kid I convinced myself I gave my teacher an allergic reaction because I gave him gold fish THE DAY PRIOR

am I the only person who identifies liking the opposite sex but all their attraction follows the same sex now and now when I see couples (heterosexual), I imagine myself as the guy or when I newly weds kiss, I see myself kissing the woman or the urge to kiss her :/ Anybody else ?

I was wondering if anyone else experiences this this rocd. Everytime I try to enjoy work and not have ocd episodes, a coworker is nice to me, and they’re my friend but my head always try’s to say I like them. Which I don’t, I never had a good time with guys as friends it makes me uncomfortable. I know I don’t want my coworker but my brain keeps making me bring up that they’re nice to me and I laugh at their jokes. I know that, that doesn’t mean i like them like that but my head keeps lying to me and saying It’s true. But I know it’s not true. It has happened to most of my coworkers and Idk why this one feels different even tho it’s the same thing. Any advice or does this happen to anyone else

Lately it’s been crazy I’ve been in & out hospitals because I keep calling 911 whenever my mind tells me things that are obviously not true the therapist I’m speaking to told me it’s a compulsion, I literally just called 911 after I drank a Starbucks drink I don’t know if you guys know what the dragon fruit refresher is but I was drinking that until I accidentally swallowed those nasty dragon fruits they have in there once I drank it my mind told Me it was a pill and I was trying to stay calm because Starbucks wouldn’t risk they’re business to put drugs in my drink but then there goes the physical sensations I tried sitting with the feeling and then I went into panic and I called 911 they told me I was ok they gave me reassurance I feel so much better but this is only temporary later I will be panicking abt the same thing thinking what I drank or ate was pills AGAIN later I feel reassured and ok but I KNOW later I will panic abt the same thing trying to fight the compulsion because I feel like if I don’t call 911 I’m gonna die 😞 I keep embarrassing myself by calling 911 because my mind is telling me I’m overdosing ughhh